by Katie Ashley
“No regrets. What about you?”
“None.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
Although she looked far more at peace than when I saw her earlier, there was still tension in her eyes. I pushed a strand of hair away from her face. “Lily, I want you to know I’m not going anywhere. These next few days I’m going to be by your side every step of the way.”
“You really mean that?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“I need you so much. I don’t know if I can get through the funeral…” Her voice choked off with her sobs.
“I’m here, baby. I’m here.”
I don’t know how long she cried. My shirt got soaked through with her tears. When she finally finished, her body went limp with exhaustion. I rose up on my knees to tuck my dick back into my pants. I then eased her dress back down her legs. Lily watched me without saying a word. When I finished, I shook out one of the other blankets and then brought it over us. I pulled her to me, wrapping her in my arms.
“Thank you,” she whispered. Before I could argue that she didn’t need to thank me for a raggedy blanket or taking care of her, she said, “I was thanking God for bringing you back to me.”
Her words overwhelmed me. I had such a range of emotions crisscrossing my body. Anger, remorse, grief, fear, happiness-it all threatened to burst out of me. Instead, I closed my eyes and let myself fall asleep with the woman I loved—my other half, my soulmate.
BRAYDEN
THE PAST
After so many years of performing, I rarely ever get nervous anymore. But as I sat in the front pew with Lily and her family, my nerves shifted into overdrive at the thoughts of singing at Paul’s funeral. I hadn’t anticipated being asked to sing. Anything related to music was the last thing on my mind with Paul’s death.
But after Lily and I came back from reconnecting in the treehouse, I went to see her mother. After hugging me so tight I thought she might crack one of my ribs, Marie had asked me if I would sing Go Rest High on that Mountain. The Vince Gill song had been a favorite of Paul’s. I’d never been much of a country fan, so I wasn’t very familiar with the song. Of course, there was no way I could tell a grieving widow no, even if she had asked me to sing while playing the tambourine.
I didn’t go back to my parent’s house that night. Instead, I stayed at Lily’s, and for the first time in our relationship, I got to sleep with her in her teenage bedroom. When she had finally nodded off, I’d gotten my iPod and headphones to listen to the song on repeat. I knew I had to give it all I had for not only Marie and Lily, but for Paul as well.
By the day of the funeral, I had perfected the music and vocals. No one but the immediate family even knew I was going to be singing. We had kept the information close to the vest, so the media wouldn’t get word of it and make some kind of spectacle. The local news stations had been covering the story and focusing on Paul’s heroism. I could only imagine what he would be thinking if he was alive to see it all.
When it came time to leave the funeral home for the church, the stoicism Lily had shown so far that day faded, and she became distraught. I thanked God I was there for her because I don’t know how she would have made it alone. When I started down the aisle of Roswell First Baptist, I had my arm wrapped around Lily’s shoulder. She leaned into me, weeping against my chest.
Once the family was seated, the minister began the service. I momentarily zoned out until I heard my name being called. When I didn’t immediately rise from seat, Lily nudged me. On wobbly legs, I finally headed for the pulpit where my guitar waited for me. After strapping it on, I stared out into the packed church. There were so many mourners that the doors were opened, and I could see people spilling out onto the yard.
Clearing my throat, I said, “Paul’s family asked me to sing one of his favorite songs. It doesn’t surprise me that it was a country song. I was just sixteen when I first met Paul, and every time I was at his house, he had the radio on to a country station.” I locked my gaze with Lily. “When someone dies, those who knew them often only focus on their good points. But when it comes to Paul, I’m not sure he had any faults. He could have hated me for dating his daughter, but he didn’t. We struck up an early friendship that last over the years. While he could have had his doubts about my career path and how I would support his daughter, he never vocalized those to me. Instead, he always encouraged me to chase my dreams as long as I could.” I swallowed the growing lump in my throat. “Two years ago, I sat down with Paul to ask for Lily’s hand in marriage. He not only gave me his permission, but he gave me such wonderful advice. Unfortunately, I didn’t heed that advice, and I let my newfound fame and fortune ruin the best thing in my life.” No longer able to fight my tears, I continued on. “I hadn’t talked to Paul in over year. I know the greatest regret of my life will be that I didn’t get the chance to talk to him one more time to tell him how much his love and support had mean to me. Most of all, I would tell him that I fully intended on doing right by his daughter and to take in all the words of advice he had given me.”
Lily’s gut-wrenching sob in the front row almost broke me. But I pushed on ahead and began strumming the opening chords of the song. Although tears streaked down my cheeks through most of the words, I didn’t mess up or sing off-key. When I finished, I felt like I had given my all. Although it felt oddly out of place, applause accompanied me back to my seat. “That was so beautiful, Brayden,” Lily whispered in my ear.
“The song?”
“Everything.”
“I meant every word.”
She squeezed my hand and then burrowed close to my side. “I know you did,” she finally replied.
***
After the funeral and graveside service, we went back to Lily’s house. Once again, it was overrun with family and friends, and once again, we escaped to the treehouse. I let Lily take the lead and decide how we would spend the afternoon. Surprisingly, she began to ease me out of my suit the moment we got up the ladder. When I started to protest, she brought a finger over my lips. “I need to be as close to you as I can right now.”
“If you’re sure.”
She smiled at me before sinking to her knees. When she took me in her hand, I groaned. She worshipped me with her tongue and mouth until I felt I would explode. Thankfully, she eased back and then I dropped down beside her on the blankets. I made quick work of getting her out of her dress.
Instead of diving right in like I wanted to, I took my time palming and kneading her breasts, licking and sucking the nipples into hardened points, and then finally burying my tongue deep between her legs. After she cried out my name and came around my tongue, I gripped her hips and brought her across my lap to straddle me.
She set a slow, sensual pace where we kept our eyes locked with one another. She sought out my hands, which were at my sides, and then she intertwined our fingers together. I realized in that moment what a complete fool I had been. Money, cars, fame—none of it compared to being with Lily.
We came together, sharing the moment of absolute pleasure. Afterwards, Lily rested her head against my chest, her fingers tracing over the tattoo. “You didn’t get it removed,” she whispered.
“I thought about it. Even made two appointments to go get it covered it. But I couldn’t.” I kissed the top of her head. “I think the universe or God was trying to tell me something with that one.”
Propping up on her elbow, Lily rested her head on her hand. “And what was that?”
“That you were meant to be written over my heart just the same as you were meant to stay in my heart.”
Tears pooled in her eyes before spilling over cheeks. “Fuck, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
She shook her head. “They’re happy tears really.”
“They don’t look it to me.”
She hiccupped a laugh. “Well, they are.” At what must have been my continued skeptical expression, Lily drew in a breath. “I never imagined in the last year that you still actually cared a
bout me. When you never called but that one time or came to see me after I left you in California, I figured you had totally and completely moved on. It never occurred to me that you might be missing me.”
“Trust me, I did. Even in my new asshole form, I did.”
She grinned. “I’m glad to hear that.”
After a few moments of not speaking, Lily’s rumbling stomach interrupted the silence. “I think we need to get you something to eat.”
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. You need to eat.”
“But I would rather lie here with you.” Her bottom lip poked out in her usual pout. “You’ll be leaving me tomorrow, won’t you?”
A ragged sigh escaped my lips. “I do have to get back.”
“God, I’m going to miss you,” she moaned.
An idea popped in my head, and I acted on it. “Come back with me.”
Lily’s brows shot up in surprise. “What?”
“You heard me.”
“You want me to come on tour with you?”
“Yeah, why the hell not?”
“Do you really think that’s a good idea? I mean, we just got back together. Do we really want to jump right back in the frying pan, so to speak?”
I laughed. “It’s something we’ll have to face eventually. Why not get it over with now?”
“I guess you’re right.”
“Can you get away from teaching?”
Lily nodded. “I have the rest of the week off. Of course, my principal told me to take as long as I needed.”
“Then there’s no reason why you shouldn’t come.” When she started to protest, I shook my head. “It’ll be good for you to get away. It won’t do you any good to be sitting around the house right now.”
Lily’s chin trembled. “You’re right.”
“So is that a yes?”
She gave me a tentative smile. “Yes, it is.”
With a whoop, I rolled us over and began kissing her madly.
LILY
The Past
Our plane landed in Vegas around noon. After we got our luggage and headed to the chauffeured driven car, my excitement started to wane. It was replaced by apprehension and fear. Brayden reached over and took my hand in his. “It’s going to be all right.”
“I hope so.”
“What are you worried about? What the guys are going to say?”
“Maybe a little.” Deep down, I wasn’t worried about AJ or Rhys. They had always been so kind to me, especially when Brayden was treating me horribly. Mainly I was worried about Jake, along with Runaway Train’s handlers like Marcus, who had never liked me. Well, there was a time that Jake had been just as sweet and kind to me as the others, but then something had changed when Brayden and I got engaged.
Rolling the window down, I stuck my head out to take in the sights of the Strip. “This is amazing!” I cried, as the slight breeze blew my hair.
“It’s a seedy shithole really,” Brayden replied.
I turned around to grin at him. “What?” he asked.
“That’s exactly the kind of thing the old you would have said.”
He laughed. “You’re making me sound crazy like I had some multiple personality disorder.”
“I think it was more an asshole specific syndrome, but I think you’ll make a full recovery,” I teased.
“I’m glad to hear that. I hope you’ll be my nurse and give me the best care you possibly can.”
I reached over to kiss him. “I’ll do anything in the world for you.”
“And I’ll do everything I can to make up for being such a heartless bastard.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
The car pulled into the Bellagio. When I walked open-mouthed through the lobby to the elevators, Brayden couldn’t help laughing at me. Of course, he also found it funny when I ran in to some people while staring up at the ceiling. “Sorry,” I mumbled, my cheeks warming with the extreme mortification I felt.
On the elevator ride up, Brayden took my hand in his and squeezed it. I’m sure he could tell how apprehensive I was about seeing the guys again. When the elevator dinged on our floor, he practically pulled me along behind him. He stuck his key card in the door, and then opened it.
Drawing in a deep breath, I followed Brayden into the suite. “You guys better be decent. I have a guest,” Brayden shouted.
“Since when does one of your ‘guests’ care about seeing a fabulous cock?” AJ asked, with a laugh.
I stepped out from behind Brayden. “Please, keep it covered. I don’t want the fantasy of your ten inch wonder dick to be shattered for me.”
His eyes widened at the sight of me. “Holy shit, Lils!” He came barreling forward to pull me into his arms. He hugged me tight, and I buried my head on his shoulder, inhaling his special scent. It felt good to be held by him.
“I missed you,” I murmured.
“Man, have I missed you too! Bad!” When he pulled away, he grinned. “Do you know that no one can make pancakes like you do? Not to mention none of the girls will clean up after us. You would think after I just rocked a chick’s world, she would oblige me in cleaning.”
I laughed. “I can’t imagine why they would say no.”
“Me either.” He pushed the hair out of my face, his expression waning serious. “I’m so sorry about your dad.”
“Thank you.”
“I want you to know that I went to mass and lit a candle for him.”
“You did?” I asked, my voice choking with emotion.
“I sure did. Both in Phoenix and here. And let me tell you. Finding a church around here isn’t easy.”
I smiled. “I wouldn’t imagine it would be.” I reached up and kissed his cheek. “Thank you,AJ. Thank you for being one of the kindest and most genuine guys I know. You’re going to make a lady very happy one day.”
He winked. “I already do.”
Rolling my eyes, I replied, “I don’t mean with sex. I mean, the girl you settle down with.”
“Ah, yeah, that one. Give me a few more years before I go that route, okay?”
“I will.”
“Hey Lily,” Rhys said behind us. I whirled around from AJ to go to his waiting arms. He squeezed me tight, which for Rhys was saying a lot. “So sorry about your dad.”
“Thank you.” When I pulled away, I smiled at him. “Thank you for the check.”
He shifted uncomfortably on his feet. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
And that was one of the reasons I loved Rhys so much. He came from his own private wealth before the band, but he never wanted to brag about it. He also gave to people in need not to look good, but because he truly believed they needed it. “It’ll really help my mom out a lot. She asked that I thank you, too.”
“I’m glad,” he murmured softly.
I bestowed a kiss on his cheek too. “You better come over here and give your man a kiss after showing these guys so much love,” Brayden said.
I turned away from Rhys just as Jake came out of one of the bedroom doors. He momentarily froze when he saw me.
“Well, well, if it isn’t our very own Yoko Ono,” he said. Although there was a teasing lilt in his voice, I didn’t like being referred to as someone who broke up a band because of her hold on her man.
I strode past Brayden to stand right in front of Jake. His cocky little grin set something off in me. I then did something that I would have never imagined doing before, but my grief, coupled with the last eleven months, was a volatile mixture.
I slapped him.
Hard.
“That’s for all the times I sat back and let you treat me like shit! And don’t you ever demean Brayden’s and my relationship again! I’m sorry that you’re so self-absorbed that you’ve never been able to give yourself to somebody else. Maybe one day you’ll wake up and see what an egotistical asshole you really are!”
When I finished my tirade, silence echoed around me. I could even hear the sound of the maid vacuu
ming down the hall. I cut my eyes over to AJ and Rhys, taking in their wide-eyed, open-mouthed expressions. I’d really done it now.
As I braced myself for Jake’s retaliation, he merely nodded. “I think you pretty much nailed it, Lils.” He turned and walked to the door of the suite. When he got there, he paused. “I really was just teasing you before. You really aren’t Yoko Ono. You’re way more Paul’s Linda. She kept him together, just like you keep Brayden. Hope you guys don’t fuck things up again.”
And then he was gone. “Well, that was intense,” AJ said, breaking the silence.
Covering my face with my hands, I groaned. “I can’t believe I did that.” When I peeked through my fingers at the guys, they were all still staring at me in surprise. “I’m sorry. That was wrong of me.”
Rhys shook his head. “No, Lils. After the way he treated you, he deserved that.”
“I agree,” AJ replied.
“Really?” I asked.
AJ nodded. “He needed a strong woman to put him in his place. I guarantee you gave him something to think about.”
“Well, I could have gone about it differently. I’ve never hit a man in my life.”
With a snort, Brayden said, “That is so not true. You’ve hit me plenty…especially in bed.”
While AJ and Rhys thought his comment was hysterical, I merely proved Brayden’s point by smacking his arm. “Easy killer, I have to play with this arm tonight.”
Eyeing his expensive looking watch, Rhys said, “Yeah, we better get over to the MGM Grand for rehearsals.”
Before I could argue that I would stay here in the hotel and relax, Brayden was dragging me along behind him. Jake appeared to have left without them, so I piled in the limo behind AJ and Rhys.
“So how long are you guys in Vegas?”
“Three nights and three shows.”
“Wow, that’s intense.”
AJ flashed me a wicked grin. “Yeah, well, that’s what happens when you become famous rock stars.”
