Scrambling (Out in the NFL Book 1)

by Lex Valentine

  It took all his strength not to pull Evan into his arms. The brush of his lips against Evan’s was softer than the touch of a butterfly, but it electrified him. He wanted so much more from Evan, but fear held him back. He couldn’t lose his best friend because of his urge to fuck the man. It just wouldn’t be worth it. He stepped back and pulled the door open wide.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow at practice.” He smiled what he hoped was his usual smile, but he couldn’t really be sure. His face felt numb except for the tingling of his mouth where it had touched Evan’s.

  He watched Evan get in the Suburban and pull down the drive. As he closed the door, he smiled. He’d seen Evan briefly touch his lips as he got in the darkened SUV. So maybe his best friend wasn’t as immune to him as he thought. And maybe he could try a little experiment to see whether or not Evan cared about him in a way that had nothing to do with friendship.

  All the way to bed he grinned and plotted. If Reed had his way, in no time at all Bryce Richardson would be nothing but a memory for Evan McAdam.

  The list of preseason games made Reed grimace. All of them were away games. With Len currently on chemotherapy, he didn’t really like being gone. His former lover’s deterioration had been swift and shocking. Staring at the sheet of paper and determining how long he’d be gone made him think he should talk to Dr. Kovacs about hospice care for Len. The man had never been one for taking his meds when he was supposed to, and now that he was probably dying, he’d gotten worse. Luckily, the chemo treatments were intravenous, and Reed had scheduled a limo service to pick up Len for all his appointments. Had the treatment been in pill form, Reed knew Len would have missed half of them.

  The schedule of games lay on the kitchen counter, mocking him. If he were honest with himself—and lately he hadn’t been—he would acknowledge that those games presented him with more fodder for his dreams of Evan. Four trips where he’d sit beside Evan on the plane and the bus, where they’d share a room, and spend countless hours together. Reed’s body tightened. The sexual tension between him and Evan had ratcheted up a few notches since the night they’d found Len on the bathroom floor. The subtle clues had initially made him wonder if he were imagining things. But he couldn’t ignore the voice inside him that told him Evan was finally aware of him sexually.

  Reed didn’t know whether to be excited or frightened by the slight changes in his relationship with his best friend. Evan had been more protective of him than usual, which Reed at first thought was a by-product of the press that followed him everywhere wanting an update on Len’s condition. But when he felt Evan’s hand at the small of his back as they left the team’s gym for the parking lot, he knew that protectiveness wasn’t all about the media. The press wasn’t allowed at the team facilities without Darcy’s people there to handle them. Evan’s gesture had appeared natural, an instinctive action he didn’t even seem conscious of, and his touch felt slightly possessive to Reed although that could have been wishful thinking on his part.

  The more Reed thought about it, the more he realized touch seemed to be key in his relationship with Evan. When they were kids, they rarely touched, or if they did, it was just rough-and-tumble kid stuff: fighting, playing, joking around, and wholly innocent. By their midteens, some of that disappeared as they both became more aware of their bodies, and in Reed’s case, his body’s response to Evan’s proximity. He’d spent most of the last three years of high school jacking off to thoughts of Evan as he’d come to realize he was gay and crushing on his best friend. He’d had to carefully maintain the status quo and not let Evan know how he felt. Fear of losing Evan if he knew the truth about Reed’s sexuality drove him to hide his feelings, and they touched even less than they had as children.

  In college, other than when they were on the field, they rarely touched. Reed recalled Evan being very cool and standoffish with pretty much everyone for their freshman year. He didn’t know what had happened to change his warm friend into a shadow of his usual self. When Evan got involved with Ben, an older student, a teaching assistant working on his master’s, he began to act more like the Evan Reed had always known, so Reed assumed Evan’s attitude that first year was all about coming to terms with being gay.

  They became more relaxed with each other after that, and small touches came back into play between them. Since Len’s diagnosis, Evan’s demeanor had warmed toward Reed. The touches came more frequently, and Reed sensed something more than just friendship sizzling between them. At least, he hoped it was more than just his longtime love and lust for Evan coming to the forefront. He hoped like hell that Evan had begun to feel something for him too.

  He knew what was happening with Len would rock his world in any number of ways, and he needed Evan, needed more from him now than he ever had. He just didn’t know if what he wanted, Evan wanted too. But now he had four away games to try to break through Evan’s composure and determine if he might be receptive to Reed’s overtures. It wasn’t a lot of time, but Reed intended to find out if he stood a snowball’s chance in hell of seducing his best friend.

  On the plane to San Jose for their final exhibition game, they sat side by side, thighs touching. Despite the flight being a short one, Reed reveled in Evan’s closeness. He could smell the distinctive designer aroma of sweet lime and cedar cologne and the complementary lime and citrus scent of Evan’s soap and shampoo. The big man smelled masculine and sexy, his fresh scent stirring Reed’s libido into a frenzy. He fidgeted in his seat, his half-hard cock making his jeans uncomfortable.

  “It’s the last exhibition game. Stop being so antsy. You’re not gonna play more than a quarter anyway. Coach won’t risk you, especially against the ’Niners,” Evan soothed.

  He placed a hand on Reed’s knee and squeezed it before returning his arm to the armrest. Reed froze at the touch, his heart thundering. Beneath his jeans, his leg flared with heat that transferred itself almost instantly to his groin.

  “As soon as we take off, I’m gonna try to nap. Wake me when we get there,” Reed said, shifting again as his jeans choked his cock.

  “Nap?” Evan turned his head and stared at Reed with one brow raised. “Dude, it takes like an hour and a half to get there. By the time you go to sleep, I’ll be waking you up!”

  “I know. I know. But I need the rest. Dealing with Len cuts into my sleep.” Reed shut his eyes as the plane’s engines roared and the pressure from takeoff pressed him back into the seat. As soon as the plane leveled out and the seat belt light went off, he closed his eyes and tilted his seat back. His mind drifted, his thoughts hazy as he dozed.

  Reed again felt the warmth of Evan’s hand on his knee, but this time, the big palm slid up his thigh and cupped his balls through his jeans. He bit his lip, trying not to cry out with pleasure as Evan’s long fingers traced the hard ridge of his cock. Arching his hips a little, he tried to encourage Evan to stroke him more fully, to pop open the buttons on his jeans and take his cock out. He wanted Evan’s hands on his bare skin, wanted his cock deep in the wetness of Evan’s mouth.

  “Oh, baby. You’re so beautiful, so sexy,” Evan murmured. “I want to see you come.”

  A soft moan escaped Reed as he pushed his hips toward Evan’s hand. He couldn’t speak. Lust held him in thrall as the flat of Evan’s palm stroked over his bulging crotch from his balls to the wet tip that threatened to pop off the top button of his jeans. Evan’s touch electrified him. He’d never wanted anyone as much as he wanted Evan. He’d never gotten so hard so fast for anyone but Evan.

  “Reed…baby, please. Come for me.” Evan’s whisper accompanied the brush of his fingers over Reed’s straining cock. “Reed…”

  Panting, Reed needed just one more touch, one more stroke to make it happen…

  “Reed. Gotta put your seat belt on.”

  With a jerk, Reed awoke, his cock throbbing, his heart racing, and his breath coming in gasps. At least, he thought as he got his bearings, he hadn’t come in his pants. That was the last thing he needed. Sporting a wet
spot on the soft faded denim over his crotch when the press could be lying in wait to take his photo could be a disaster. They’d hound him even more than they did now.

  As he put his seat upright and snapped the seat belt on, carefully avoiding the swollen bulge in his jeans, he glanced over at Evan and found his best friend facing forward but with a smile curving his lips. Hell. The man had to have seen his wood. Reed tried to think of something to say, but the plane began its descent to San Jose International Airport.

  The jet’s engines screamed, and its brakes squealed as the plane hit the tarmac. Evan leaned over to whisper in Reed’s ear, “I gather that was a pretty good dream.”

  Reed turned his head, and his gaze locked with Evan’s. The brilliant blue eyes glittered with amusement and something else Reed was afraid to put a name to.

  “It was damn near the best,” he muttered, thinking it would have been better had they been naked and Evan buried balls-deep in Reed’s ass. Not that he’d ever had anyone buried balls-deep in his ass before, but he dreamed about it constantly when it came to Evan.

  The smile on Evan’s lips widened, and his eyelid dropped in a wink before he looked away. Heart pounding, Reed placed his hand over Evan’s lightly and very, very briefly squeezed it where it lay on the armrest. As he moved his hand away, Evan flashed him a look, and Reed could swear he saw desire in the depths of his best friend’s eyes. But then the plane was rolling toward their gate, and the rest of the team had begun to snap off their seat belts and gather their belongings.

  A chartered bus took them to their hotel in Santa Clara where Darcy’s staff and the coaching staff kept the public and press from them. Even so, when Reed stepped off the bus, a couple of flashes went off and someone yelled, “Hey, Reed! Is it true your boyfriend is dying of AIDS?”

  Darcy’s assistant and one of the trainers converged on the reporter, and he didn’t get off any other questions, but Reed’s good mood from the plane dissipated. Evan grabbed his elbow and tugged him through the lobby, a key card already in his hand.

  “Fuckers. They have their scheduled time with us. Why the hell do they have to invade our off time?” Evan growled as he punched the elevator button.

  Reed didn’t reply. He knew why the media dogged him. He was one of the first active players to come out of the closet and admit he was gay. He had a rich boyfriend who partied, had unsafe sex, and had ended up HIV positive. He was everything the NFL had been afraid of. Controversial and a bother to other players who were afraid he might be positive too. They all feared for their health and their lives. It didn’t seem to matter that Magic Johnson had debunked all the HIV myths when he played for the NBA and on the US Olympic Dream Team while positive. Everyone wanted a reason to hate a gay player.

  Once he and Evan got to their room, Reed stripped off his clothes and jumped in the shower. He needed to scrub off the dirty feeling he’d gotten from the reporter. Since the next day was game day, they had an early night ahead of them, but luckily no jet lag to contend with. All Reed wanted was to get back that warm feeling he’d had earlier on the plane when Evan had winked at him.

  For the last three games, he’d been carefully observing Evan every time they were alone. His lust grew with each night they spent in their hotel room together, but he had no idea what Evan felt. Their usual friendly banter had taken on a sexual tone, the tension between them slowly gaining in intensity. Reed wished he could just come out and tell Evan how much he wanted him. But while he might not be Len’s lover any longer, Evan still had Bryce, and that put Reed’s desires on a very short leash.

  He walked into the bedroom wearing only a damp towel and bent to pick up his overnight bag and toss it on a suitcase rack. While rummaging in the case, he heard Evan go into the bathroom. As he pulled out a pair of loose-fitting workout shorts, he heard the shower go on. He dropped the towel and tugged on the shorts, the waistband snagging on his suddenly filling cock. He thought of Evan naked with water running down his magnificent chest, and his cock rose to full staff.

  Reed stretched out on his back, slipped a hand into the shorts, and fisted his cock. He replayed his dream while listening to Evan in the shower. He imagined Evan coming into the bedroom in his towel, dropping it on the floor and kneeling over him on the bed. Reed could just taste the precum that beaded at the crown of Evan’s velvety cockhead. He’d bet anything Evan tasted exactly right. And he’d give anything to suck Evan’s cock. The very thought of it had his balls tightening and his cock erupting onto his belly.

  The shower stopped, and Reed grabbed his damp towel, cleaning up swiftly in the hopes that Evan wouldn’t smell his cum. He tossed the towel to the floor on the far side of the room and quickly turned on the TV. He didn’t feel guilty about jacking off to thoughts of Evan, but it wouldn’t do to make the guy uncomfortable the moment they were alone together.

  They'd spent the afternoon going over their playbooks. Reed called Len to make sure he’d followed all his doctors’ orders. Evan got a phone call from his dad who spoke to Reed too and wished them luck in the game the next day. When Evan’s cell phone rang again and he turned away, Reed knew the call was from Bryce.

  Gut tightening with jealousy, Reed picked up the room service menu and tried to ignore the low rumbles of Evan’s voice as he spoke to his lover. He couldn’t fault Evan in his choices. Bryce Richardson was a beautiful man, rich, connected, and wholly understanding of Evan’s commitment to the game. He was also one of the owners of the Stars and being more than ten years older was much more experienced than Evan. Had Bryce not seduced Evan—and Reed knew without a doubt that Evan hadn’t made the first move on Bryce—Reed would have liked him. But as things stood, Reed accepted him as one of the team owners and grudgingly endured him as Evan’s lover. He hated thinking of the older, more sophisticated man seducing Evan and doing things to him that maybe Evan hadn’t done before. Of course, the way he felt about Evan dictated that anyone Evan slept with wouldn’t be at the top of Reed’s list of good guys.

  “What looks good?” Evan’s voice broke into Reed’s darkly jealous thoughts.

  Reed tossed him the other room service menu. “A massive porterhouse steak with bleu cheese crumbles and a baked potato for me. And a big ole antipasto salad.”

  “Damn.” Evan grinned at him over the top of the menu. “Sounds great, but I think I’ll have the prime rib instead of a steak.”

  “You’ll have horseradish breath. No one will want to kiss you,” Reed teased.

  Evan snorted and reached for the room’s phone to place their order. “They don’t need to kiss me, just suck my cock,” he replied with a laugh.

  While Evan placed their order, Reed turned away and fiddled with the television. Mostly he tried to will his cock to behave. It became harder and harder to control his reactions to their sexual banter and the underlying sexual tension between them. He wondered how the hell he’d get through the season.

  As they were eating dinner, Reed’s cell phone rang. He reached for it wondering who could be calling. The display showed him Dr. Kovacs’s number, and fear curdled the food in his belly. Pushing away from the table, he answered the call.

  “Reed, I need you back here as soon as possible.”

  Dr. Kovacs didn’t waste any time with greetings or pleasantries. Not that Reed had expected him to. Since Len had become ill, the doctor’s focus had been on managing Len’s health. After Len had been diagnosed with AIDS and stomach cancer, the writing had been on the wall: Len didn’t have a lot of time left. Dr. Kovacs had gone into sustainment-of-life mode, trying to keep Len as comfortable as possible and alive for as long as possible. He’d sent Len to the best oncologist Los Angeles had to offer as well as every doctor who’d pioneered treatment for AIDS. Because of Len’s health history, no one had given them any long-term hope. However, Reed had thought that their treatments would prolong Len’s life and keep him from a rapid deterioration. Apparently, that wasn’t going to be the case.

  “He’s here at UCLA Medical Cente
r in the oncology ward,” Dr. Kovacs went on. “Dr. Yamagata is treating him, but the cancer has metastasized, and he’s bleeding internally. They’re hoping to have him stabilized enough for surgery tomorrow. When can you get home?”

  “Jesus! I just spoke to him earlier. He said he felt good. What the hell happened? And I’ve got a game tomorrow!” Reed huffed, panic setting in. “Our flight gets into LAX at ten p.m.”

  “You’re not playing the whole game, are you?” the doctor asked, his voice hard. “Take an earlier flight back. Len needs to know you’re here. He needs your support if he’s going to have any chance of surviving this surgery.”

  Dr. Kovacs hung up, and Reed stared at his phone, wondering how his life had become such a complicated clusterfuck.

  “Tell me.”

  Evan’s quiet words broke into Reed’s thoughts. He slumped onto the side of his bed and stared at Evan bleakly.

  “Len’s bad. I need to go home as soon as possible.”

  With a nod, Evan reached for his phone. “Let’s get Darcy and Coach Dreyfus. We can figure this out, Reed.”

  Half an hour later, Reed and Evan sat at a table in Darcy’s suite with head coach, Rick Dreyfus. Luckily, the coach had planned for Reed and Evan to play the first quarter only. That meant if they left right after the quarter ended, they could be back in Los Angeles by dinner time. Darcy put together a statement for the press to explain Reed’s and Evan’s absence. She had one of her assistants arrange for a limo to pick them up at Levi’s Stadium while another one changed their flights and arranged for a limo at LAX.

  Coach Dreyfus eyed them with a stern expression in his eyes. “Are you sure you’re able to play? This won’t fuck up your concentration?”

  Reed shook his head. “Actually, I need the distraction. Playing helps me clear my head. It always has.”

  The coach looked over at Evan then. “I’d make you stay, but I know you’d just disobey such an order,” he said. “I need you to keep him grounded. Don’t let him panic, and if the worst happens, take care of him. We don’t need this blowing up in our faces. Darcy has a handle on the press right now. We have to keep it that way. Stay in contact with her at all times. If anything at all happens to change the status quo, you call her.”