by Eden Beck
I just need a couple more days. That’s all. I promise to do whatever she needs; cooking, cleaning, looking after the kids—anything. She just keeps that stupid, evil smile on her face the whole time.
“Shoulda thought about that when you stopped giving me my money,” she says, her face suddenly going cold.
It takes me a second to realize she means the blackmail she extorted out of me last year, and I’m left nearly speechless.
“Are you … you’ve got to be kidding me,” I say, still floundering for words.
Her face stays immobile, and she throws herself to the door again, pointing her claw-like fingers out towards the dark streets.
“I’ve never been so serious in my life. Get the hell out of my house Theodora Price, or I’m going to call the cops on your sorry ass.”
I snatch the plastic bag from her. “At least then I’d have a place to spend the night.”
It takes me less than five minutes to gather all my earthly possessions. I can’t stand to look any of the kids in the face, least of all Cassie and Rachel. I can’t let them see the hot tears of anger and frustration streaming down my face in the moments before I step out of the house I’ve come, however reluctantly, to call home for the last couple years.
I stand in the street, staring staunchly forward as the door slams behind me. I always told myself it could be worse.
Now it is.
Chapter 2
I’ve looked forward to this moment all of my life; when I’d age out of the system and no longer be a ward of the state, no longer under the control of that wicked woman. It was supposed to be my moment of triumph, a badge of honor for surviving. But now, it’s here and I just never imagined it would leave me feeling like this. So … empty.
All I needed was three days. Three days until I can use my prepaid, one-way bus ticket back to the school. Three days until I have my own bed once again.
Now, thanks to Ms. Martin’s final spite, I am three days homeless.
Three days have never seemed so long.
I’m not usually a crier … but cry I do. Barely hours into adulthood, and already I’ve sunk to new depths. I’ve never felt so alone in my life; so totally and completely abandoned. For someone who’s been abandoned time and time again in my life, that’s saying a lot.
It’s terrifying. I have nowhere to go, no way to get there, and no money to use, since I sent my last check to the school to pay for the last of Ms. Martin’s blackmail debt just this morning.
The world is crashing around me, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I have to do something, I can’t just sit on the curb sobbing until the sun comes up. Maybe if I claim I got scheduled for an early shift at the movie theatre, I can sneak into one of the empty showrooms and hide out there as long as possible.
Then I remember Rob, and the little stunt he just pulled. I’d nearly forgotten, just for a moment, in all the awfulness. I can’t go back there.
But I certainly can’t stay here.
I hold my breath until the tears stop coming, but before I can figure out what the hell I’m supposed to do next, I’m half-blinded by a vehicle turning down the street towards me.
It’s a single light, accompanied by the high energy roar of a small engine, much like the one that startled Rob into letting go of me earlier. I squint my eyes and frown slightly as the motorcycle comes into view and slows down, stopping right in front of me. I know even before he removes his helmet who it is, even though I can’t believe it.
It’s Blair.
My mouth falls open. I haven’t seen him since school got out, and he was as cold as ice to me the entirety of the last semester, ever since the day that my lie came to light. Just the sight of him here brings all the old feelings rushing back, and with it, all the pain.
The outline of his silver hair glows in the dark, illuminating him in all his guardian-angel glory.
My heart nearly leaps right out of my chest.
Of all the things I expected tonight, this is at the very bottom of my list. I can’t believe it. I really can’t believe it.
“What … what are you doing here?” I ask in astonishment.
He grins, but there’s a sadness behind those eyes as he looks down at me in my pathetic state. “Good to see you too, Bunny.”
He reaches a hand down to me, and I have to stare at it for a minute. I’m afraid that if I reach out to touch it, I’ll only find out I’m making it all up. But I look up into Blair’s beautiful face, and there’s only one way to find out.
I forgot how warm his touch is.
He pulls me up from the ground and into an embrace. I’m past resistance. I melt right into him as he wraps me tightly in his arms and I start crying all over again. I can’t help it; the tidal wave of emotion that’s crashing through me right now has to go somewhere.
He nuzzles his face into my neck and hair. “God, I missed you,” he murmurs. He just holds me for a long minute, letting me cry. The feel of him is even better than I remember. He holds me tight until the sobs slow, and then finally he loosens his grip just a little and looks into my face. With a tender touch, he reaches up and wipes my tears away.
“Blair … what are you doing here? How did you even know where I was?” I go on, each question trailing into the next. I have a billion questions for him, and I want them all answered at once.
“I’ve kind of been wondering the same thing,” he says. “That boy earlier … at the theatre …”
I stop him.
“Wait, that was you?”
He looks sheepish. “I called around. No one was giving me any answers, but then one of the kids inside answered tonight and said I could find you there. I didn’t expect to find you out with someone, but then, why wouldn’t you?”
I’m still struggling to understand. “Rob? No—you saved me. I didn’t want that. We’re not … like that.”
Blair Rashnikov hasn’t even been back in my life for two minutes, and already, he’s rescued me twice.
“I’ll admit, I’m a little relieved,” Blair says. He sighs and searches my face with his eyes, pushing a loose strand of my hair out of the way. “I’ve been calling you all summer. Why didn’t you ever call back?”
My jaw goes slack. “You … you were what?”
He looks away. “I wanted to apologize … but I thought you didn’t want to talk to me. I’m a fool. I should’ve followed you down here the day school let out.”
“You thought I didn’t want to talk to you anymore?” I can’t believe it. “You’re the one who’s refused to acknowledge my existence for the last six months. Sorry, make that eight. As far as I knew, you were the one who was never going to talk to me again.”
“Abandon my Bunny? Never.” He shakes his head and wipes another tear off of my cheek. “I overacted, and I’m ashamed … but you know Astor.”
I look at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”
Blair sighs. “Nothing. Listen, I’m not here to shift blame. Let me make up for lost time.”
I don’t know what to say, but thankfully he just keeps going.
He shifts his weight and pulls out a small, paper box from under the seat. He opens it up, revealing a slightly smooshed slice of chocolate cake. He rifles through another pocket and shoves a candle in the top, before he realizes he doesn’t have a way to light it, and just looks up at me with an adorably apologetic look.
The corner of my mouth turns up just a little. “You remembered that it’s my birthday?”
Blair gives me a smile. “Yeah, of course I did.”
I couldn’t be more surprised.
Somehow, looking down at the little slice of cake in its box makes the tears well up and spill over again. Blair freezes up and frantically starts patting my shoulders awkwardly.
“What—what did I do wrong?”
“Nothing,” I wail, my voice wracked by uncontrollable sobs. I bury my face back into his jacket. His hands slowly close in around me again, holding me tight until I can speak. “I … I h
ave nowhere to go.”
Blair moves around until he spots the plastic garbage bag on the ground. He leans over and picks it up without letting go of me.
“What did you think I was here for?” he asks. “You’re coming with me.”
I can’t bring myself to look up. I keep my eyes squeezed shut, willing myself that this is real … not some new, twisted, cruel joke he’s playing on me.
He starts shoving my things under his bike seat, then shifting around like he expects me to just get on the bike and ride off into the figurative sunset without delay.
I stand up and take a step away to look him over.
Blair runs a hand through his hair and grins. “What is it, Bunny? Has it really been that long that you’ve forgotten what I look like?”
“Is this a joke?” I ask, bluntly.
His grin fades, and suddenly he’s standing and at my side, the bike forgotten. He grabs my shoulders and looks me plain in the face.
“Never again,” he says. “Not like that. Not from me.” He nudges me. “I promise.”
I look up into his face, and as much as I know I shouldn’t, I believe him.
I have to.
Relief floods through me and I lean forward so my forehead rests against his chest. “So, what’s the plan?”
Blair tells me he’s staying at his parent’s condo in Manhattan while they’re on vacation in the Cayman Islands. We’ll have the place to ourselves until he takes us both up to school on Monday.
It’s all too good to be true. It’s a dream, and as much as I know somehow, I’m going to end up waking to realize it was a nightmare … that doesn’t stop me from taking the helmet from him and strapping it securely under my chin.
I take one last bitter look at the foster home where I’ve lived the last few years. It doesn’t matter where Blair takes me, I realize, because I was wrong. All those years I was wrong. This was the worst.
Blair gives the motorcycle engine a rev, and we shoot off into the night; my arms tight around him, my cares gone with the wind that’s ripping past us, and relief turning into happiness until it pours out of me.
Manhattan truly is the city that never sleeps. It’s the wee hours of the morning when the bike roars over the bridge and the place is still hopping. It’s like no one knows they should probably be in bed. I’ve never been here before, but I feel an immediate connection. The busy streets, the constant noise, the rush of people and traffic and trains. The bright glitzy lights and the vibrant hum of energy that constantly pulses through it all. It’s enlivening to the soul, and it’s been a while since I was able to enjoy anything. This is the sort of place where I can just disappear into the crowd, and I’m so glad to be disappearing with Blair.
He pulls into the parking garage of a super high rise building on 5th Avenue, and we take a private elevator up to the penthouse. I knew his family had some money, but I had no idea it was this kind of money. I’m no real estate expert, but I’m pretty sure this place is in the double-digit millions.
When the elevator opens into a gorgeous and elegant foyer, it’s like I’m looking out at a scene from a James Bond film. It’s all modern contemporary, all big windows and New York City skylines that would fit better in an interior design magazine spread than it would any place I’m allowed to set foot in. There’s a grand piano in one corner of a wide-open area that encompasses a living room, dining room, and balcony with a pool.
I’m still fairly sure I got hit by a car while waiting out on that curb and am in some sort of coma-induced hallucination while Blair gives me the grand tour. I keep reaching out to touch things, just to re-assure myself all through the massive pristine kitchen, the bar, the study and library, the theatre and entertainment room, and four bedrooms as well as five full bathrooms.
There’s a hot tub by the pool outside and a small kitchenette and bar, for entertaining on the patio.
This place can’t be a dream, I decide, because I’ve never even dreamed of any place like it.
I can’t bring myself to speak until we’re out on the balcony, looking out over the glowing city below us. “This is incredible,” I say, shaking my head. “I can’t even make myself believe what I’m seeing, and I’m standing here seeing it.”
His sparkling green eyes are locked on mine and he reaches for me, pulling me close to him. “I can’t tell you how glad I am that I get you all to myself for three whole days...no matter the circumstances. Now I have you, I’m not letting you out of my sight.”
Blair’s body pressed to mine makes all the old feelings, once buried deep under shame and disappointment, all come flooding back. Something in his eyes speaks to the truth, and I can’t resist.
He closes his mouth over mine, and all of the chaos that’s been warring in my mind dissipates in an instant as I kiss him in return. He gave me my first kiss last year, and there’s just something about the hungry way that his lips and tongue move with mine that steals my breath completely away. I am melting into him, and I don’t want it to stop.
We do stop, just before things get a little too hot and heavy. Blair has to physically break away from me. He walks away and puts his hands on the railing of the balcony, looking down at the city again. I’m out of breath and my heart is racing as I watch him. His playful, passionate look has turned to something more pensive, and I know he’s thinking on the events that separated us in the first place. As much as I want to just forget all the months where he ignored me, I can’t.
“Blair … what’s really going on? We haven’t really talked at all since … since everything happened at school last year.” I’m torn. Part of me wants to know, and part of me really doesn’t.
He rakes his fingers through his silvery-white hair and keeps his head turned from me as he answers. “It wasn’t good, what you did, Sadie.” He closes his eyes. “I mean … Teddy. It’s going to take me a while to get used to calling you that.”
I frown slightly. He’s only used my pseudo name once, and it was in a very serious situation. He always calls me Bunny. I hated it at first, but now it’s grown on me and it feels weird when he calls me anything else … even my own, real, name.
“I’m so sorry,” I begin, taking a step toward him, but he doesn’t turn to look at me. He just stares straight ahead and sighs deeply while I continue on, my words melding together like a badly mixed cocktail. “I didn’t mean for it to go so wrong. I just … I needed to try to make a future for myself. Foster care doesn’t do much in that way, especially when, well, you saw what my home was like.”
I take a breath. It’s surprisingly hard to get it all out, no matter how many times I’ve rehearsed this exact conversation. I blame the twinkling lights below, the swish of the pool, the soft music floating out from inside; the general glamor of it all is distracting.
“Sadie’s parents weren’t going to get their money back, and I thought I could use it without hurting anyone...but eventually it all just caught up to me.” I shake my head. “I think I forgot, for a while, where I ended and Sadie began. They came and talked to me, you know; her parents.”
He glances at me. “Yeah, I heard they let you keep it. Do you really look that much like their kid?”
I nod, and he looks away.
“It’s pretty messed up, what you did,” he says.
“But can you blame me?” I step towards him, but have to stop myself. I should give him the room he needs to think, rather than crowding him and forcing him to listen. “Blair … my life, it’s been shit up until now. If you had absolutely no future ahead of you, no chances, no opportunities or prospects, wouldn’t you try to change your life?”
He turns to me then and I see a fierce storm raging in him, behind the glittering green eyes.
“Hey, I know what it’s like to wish that you were someone you’re not. I’ve told my fair share of lies as well. Some pretty big ones, come to think of it. But your lies … you lied about the very foundation of who you are. After that … can you really blame us for not trusting you?”
<
br /> “No. I guess I can’t.” I sigh and drop my gaze to the floor. “I just wish I’d gotten the chance to explain before everyone decided I didn’t exist anymore.”
“It wouldn’t have changed anything,” he says. Blair taps his fingers on the railing and eyes me critically. “I wish I could say differently, but that whole thing isn’t over, Teddy. Not by a long shot. No one likes being used or lied to, and that thing happens more than you think for people like us.”
I take a second to look back over my shoulder at the place where he’s taken me. I guess he’s right. I saw it at the school, and I imagine it only gets worse. Everyone in this world is trying to get something out of each other. In a world where nothing is as it seems, it makes someone like me, so blatantly a liar, look even worse.
Blair has continued. “Just know when we get back to school, things still aren’t going to be easy for you. You’re coming back into a lion’s den. You have to know that.”
I nod and cross my arms over my chest. “I know it. I just hoped that … that maybe somehow everyone might forgive me for what I did and give me a second chance. You know, get to know me for who I really am.”
Blair exhales and turns his head away for a moment in thought, and then walks up to me and wraps an arm around me. “I think I know who you really are, and that’s why I came for you tonight. It’s why I’ve been calling you so much this summer trying to reach you. The girl that I missed wasn’t part of the lie, and I know that now. It was you. I’m just glad I got this time with you before we have to go back to school.”
There’s something off about the way he says it. I frown and bite my lip a little, wondering what he means exactly. I want to ask him, but he’s done talking. His body has shifted towards mine, and I slip into the little gap in his arms. His chest is so warm against mine, and the way he rests his chin on the top of my head makes me feel … safe.
In just a few hours, the rest of this city will wake. For now, I need sleep—and from the dark circles forming under Blair’s eyes, he does too. I wonder, briefly, the struggle that brought him to me tonight. To defy Astor’s wishes so completely … it simply isn’t done.
