But now here he was saying it was a big deal, that he wanted it to lead to more. To so much more.
And she didn’t know what to make of that.
Should she just let herself exult in it?
Or should she be wary of it?
This was all happening head-spinningly fast. And what if last night had been so good that he was getting a little carried away by it?
What if, in a few days or weeks or months he came to his senses, decided he really wanted his old life back?
That seemed possible. Likely, maybe.
And it was on the tip of her tongue to say no again.
But something in her wouldn’t let her.
Something in her stopped her and made her think again...
Was it possible that now she was imagining the worst-case scenario and convincing herself that was real? Was she projecting the negative instead of the positive and still putting too much stock into it?
Her positive projections hadn’t been reliable. But neither had the negative one at Mandy’s wedding when she’d convinced herself that Declan had left her and spent the night with Tracy.
So maybe, again, she needed to stay only in the moment...
And in this moment this man was proposing to her and she wanted to accept everything he said, believe in it, believe in him and not worry about the future.
She did have feelings for him, she cautiously admitted to herself.
But she’d been fighting those even harder than she’d fought everything else today. And today she’d done a lot of fighting.
She’d been fighting against every inclination to build a fantasy future with him in her mind.
She’d been fighting not to recall every heartfelt talk they’d had, every time he’d taken his turn at opening her eyes to things, every time he’d given her support and comfort and a sense of safety even in the midst of her fears. She’d been fighting not to turn those recollections into images of herself having all of that to turn to from now on.
She’d been fighting not to notice over and over again today how fantastic he looked, how sexy he was and imagine the opportunity to wake up every day to him.
She’d been fighting not to recall every detail of the night they’d spent together, of every touch, every kiss, every climax, and picture it as a wedding night that would be only the beginning of a lifetime of nights like it.
And now was she supposed to stop fighting everything? Stop keeping her feelings for him under wraps, and just trust him and what he was saying?
She was still looking up into that face that had been the first thing she’d seen after being buried alive in the school rubble, and it struck her that she’d trusted him that day to get her out, to save her.
It struck her that she’d trusted him during her panic attack in the attic.
She’d trusted him enough to tell him what she’d told only Carla.
She’d trusted him in the orchard.
She’d trusted everything he’d said to her, every piece of advice he’d given her, every suggestion he’d made.
So why shouldn’t she trust what he was saying to her now? she asked herself. Why shouldn’t she trust that he knew his own mind, his own heart? That he knew himself well enough to know what he was doing and that it wasn’t just guilt or a haze of leftover passion from last night?
Now that she’d allowed herself to begin to consider his proposal, the floodgates were opening and the man she was looking up at was everything for her.
He was big and strong and steady. Tough on the outside but so much more tender inside—enough to sit beside Trinity on her princess bed and read her princess stories. Enough to cradle Kit in those massive arms. Enough to walk Emmy through fears and panic and see her to the other side of them.
He was kind and understanding—more understanding and patient with the school explosion aftereffects than she’d been with herself. And all without any judgment, without making her feel weak or silly. He’d taken the situation in stride and that had helped her deal with it, had helped her feel like she genuinely would be able to get through any more anxiety that might come up. Especially if he was there with her.
And just look at him... she told herself.
It was a face she could look at for the rest of her life. A face she wanted to look at for the rest of her life.
In fact, it occurred to her that if she hadn’t had the very nebulous start of feelings for him even at Mandy’s wedding, she wouldn’t have cared so much when she thought he’d spent the night with someone else. It wouldn’t have seemed like such a horrible rejection and it wouldn’t have affected her strongly enough to send her into Bryce’s arms.
Now, here in Northbridge, staying in the same house, caring for the kids together, working the farm together and having him so sweetly comfort her through the resulting aftershocks of Afghanistan, the seeds of those feelings had taken root.
Now they were ready to bloom.
“I do love you, Declan...” she said even as she was just admitting it to herself.
“Then we don’t have a problem,” he told her confidently, quietly.
“You’re sure?” she asked. “About you, I mean...”
“Never more sure about anything. I love you. I want you. Nothing is more important to me than you are.”
“I do love you,” she repeated with more certainty.
He sighed as if relief was just settling over him. “That’s what I needed to hear. That and that you will marry me...”
“I will.”
“And the rest?”
She thought about it, about all he’d laid out for them.
“I like Northbridge, and between last night and today I’ve had so many people asking me to take pictures for them that I do think I could make a small business out of it here. Plus I know how important it was to Mandy and Topher to have the kids grow up in a small town, on the farm—and the goat does love me now,” she joked, filled with joy when she saw Declan smile. “So yeah, I’m willing if you are... Let’s give it a try.”
“And if it isn’t right for us, we’ll adjust,” he said. “As long as we’re together nothing else matters.”
She wasn’t quite sure where it came from, but she honestly did believe that.
It didn’t make any difference that the life they had envisioned didn’t look anything at all like what she’d once imagined her future should look like.
Because as he pulled her close again and kissed her so soundly it made her light-headed, she understood what he’d meant when he’d said that being with her had made him feel as if he was home, that being with her was where he belonged.
Now that her own feelings didn’t have to be locked up tight, it struck her that being with him made her feel as if she was home, too.
And being with him was most definitely where she belonged, now and forever.
For a future that might be better than anything she could have pictured after all.
* * * * *
Catch up with all of Declan’s siblings in the
Camden Family Secrets miniseries:
The Marine Makes His Match
AWOL Bride
Special Forces Father
Available now from Harlequin Special Edition!
And keep an eye out for USA TODAY
bestselling author Victoria Pade’s next book,
the first in a brand-new series,
out June 2020!
Keep reading for an excerpt from A Man You Can Trust by Jo McNally.
A Man You Can Trust
by Jo McNally
Chapter One
The resort parking lot was quiet.
That was hardly surprising, since it was seven o’clock on a Monday morning.
But Cassandra Smith didn’t take chances.
Ever.
She backed
into her reserved spot but didn’t turn the car off right away. She didn’t even put it in Park. First, she looked around—checking the mirrors, making sure she was going to stay. Pete Carter was walking from his car toward the Gallant Lake Resort. He waved as he passed her, and she waved back, then pretended to look at something on the passenger seat as she turned off the ignition. Pete worked at the front desk, and he was a nice enough guy. He’d offer to walk her inside if she got out now. And maybe that would be a good idea. Or maybe not. How well did she really know him?
Her fingers tightened on the steering wheel. She was being ridiculous—Pete was thirty years her senior and happily married. But some habits were hard to shake, and really—why take the chance? By the time she finished arguing with herself, Pete was gone.
She checked the mirrors one last time before getting out of the car, threading the keys through her fingers in a move as natural to her as breathing. As she closed the door, a warm breeze brushed a tangle of auburn hair across her face. She tucked it back behind her ear and took a moment to appreciate the morning. Beyond the sprawling 200-room fieldstone-and-timber resort where Cassie worked, Gallant Lake shimmered like polished blue steel. It was encircled by the Catskill Mountains, which were just beginning to show a blush of green in the trees. The air was brisk but smelled like spring, earthy and fresh. It reminded her of new beginnings.
It had been six months since Aunt Cathy offered her sanctuary in this small resort town nestled in the Catskills. Gallant Lake was beginning to feel like home, and she was grateful for it. The sound of car tires crunching on the driveway behind her propelled her out of her thoughts and into the building. Other employees were starting to arrive.
Cassie crossed the lobby, doing her best to avoid making eye contact with the few guests wandering around at this hour. As usual, she opted for the stairs instead of dealing with the close confines of the elevator. The towering spiral staircase in the center of the lobby looked like a giant tree growing up toward the ceiling three stories above, complete with stylized copper leaves draping from the ceiling. The offices of Randall Resorts International were located on the second floor, overlooking the wide lawn that stretched to the lakeshore. Cassie’s desk was centered between four small offices. Or rather, three smaller offices and one huge one, which belonged to the boss. That boss was in earlier than usual today.
“G’morning, Cassie! Once you get settled, stop in, okay?”
Ugh. No employee wanted to be called into the boss’s office first thing on a Monday.
Blake Randall managed not only this resort from Gallant Lake, but half a dozen others around the world. It hadn’t taken long for Cassie to understand that Blake was one of those rare—at least in her world—men who wore their honor like a mantle. He took pride in protecting the people he cared for. Tall, with a swath of black hair that was constantly falling across his forehead, the man was ridiculously good-looking. His wife, Amanda, really hit the jackpot with this guy, and he adored her and their children.
Blake was all business in the office, though. Focused and driven, he’d intimidated the daylights out of Cassie at first. Amanda teasingly called him Tall, Dark and Broody, and the nickname fit. But Cassie had come to appreciate his steady leadership. He had high expectations, and he frowned on drama in the workplace.
He’d offered her a job at the resort’s front desk when she first arrived in Gallant Lake. It was a charity job—a favor to Cathy—and Cassie knew it. It took only one irate male guest venting at her during check-in for everyone to realize she wasn’t ready to be working with an unpredictable public. She’d frozen like a deer in headlights. Once she moved up here to the private offices, she’d found her footing and had impressed Blake with her problem-solving skills. Because Blake hated problems.
She tossed her purse into the bottom drawer of her desk and checked her computer quickly to make sure there weren’t any urgent issues to deal with. Then she made herself a cup of hot tea, loaded it with sugar and poured Blake a mug of black coffee before heading into his office.
He looked up from behind his massive desk and gave her a quick nod of thanks as she set his coffee down in front of him. Everyone knew to stay out of Blake’s way until they saw a cup of coffee in his hand. He was well-known for not being a morning person. He took a sip and sighed.
“I was ready to book a flight to Barbados after hearing about the wedding disaster down there this weekend, but then I heard that apparently I—” he emphasized the one-letter word with air quotes “—already resolved everything by flying some photographer in to take wedding photos yesterday, along with discounting some rooms. Not at our resort, but at a competitor. I hear I’m quite the hero to the bride’s mother, but I’ll be damned if I remember doing any of it.”
Blake’s dark brows furrowed as he studied her over the rim of his coffee cup, but she could see a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. The tension in her shoulders eased. Despite his tone, he wasn’t really angry.
“The manager called Saturday looking for you,” she explained. “Monique was in a panic, so I made a few calls. The bride’s mother used the son of a ‘dear family friend’ to organize the wedding, instead of using our concierge service. The idiot didn’t book the rooms until the last minute, and we didn’t have enough available, which he neglected to mention to the bride’s mom. Then he booked the photographer for the wrong date.” She smiled at the look of horror on Blake’s face. “We’re talking wrong by a full month. It was quite a melodrama—none of which was our fault—but the bride is some internet fashion icon with half a million followers on Instagram. So we found rooms at the neighboring resort for the guests we couldn’t handle, and convinced the wedding party to get back into their gowns and tuxes for a full photo shoot the day after the wedding, which was the fastest we could get the photographer there. Mom’s happy. Bride’s happy. Social media is flooded with great photos and stories with the resort as a backdrop. I assumed you’d approve.”
Blake chuckled. “Approve? It was freaking brilliant, Cassie. That kind of problem-solving is more along the lines of a VP than an executive assistant. You should have an office of your own.”
She still wasn’t used to receiving compliments, and her cheeks warmed. When she’d first arrived, she’d barely been able to handle answering calls and emails, always afraid of doing something wrong, of disappointing someone. But as the months went by, she’d started to polish her rusty professional skills and found she was pretty good at getting things done, especially over the phone. Face-to-face confrontation was a different story.
This wasn’t the first time Blake had mentioned a promotion, but she wasn’t ready. Oh, she was plenty qualified, with a bachelor’s degree in business admin. But if things went bad back in Milwaukee, she’d have to change her name again and vanish, so it didn’t make sense to put down roots anywhere. She let Blake’s comment hang in the air without responding. He finally shook his head.
“Fine. Keep whatever job title you want, but I need your help with something.”
Cassie frowned when Blake hesitated. “What is it?”
“You know I hired a new director of security.” Cassie nodded. She was going to miss Ken Taylor, who was retiring to the Carolinas with his wife, Dianne. Ken had taken the job on a temporary basis after Blake’s last security guy left for a job in Boston. Ken was soft-spoken and kind, and he looked like Mr. Rogers, right down to the cardigan sweaters. He was aware of Cassie’s situation, and he’d made every effort to make sure she felt safe here, including arranging her reserved parking space.
“Nick West starts today. I’d like you to work with him.”
“Me? Why?” Cassie blurted the words without thinking. She laughed nervously. “I don’t know anything about security!”
But she knew all about needing security.
Blake held up his hand. “Relax. I’m not putting you on the security team. He’ll need help with putting data together a
nd learning our processes. I need someone I can trust to make sure he has a smooth transition.”
“So...I’m going to be his executive assistant instead of yours?” Her palms went clammy at the thought of working for a stranger.
“First, we’ve already established you’re a hell of a lot more than my EA. And this is just temporary, to help him get settled in the office.” Blake drained his coffee mug and set it down with a thunk, not noticing the way Cassie flinched at the sound. “He’s a good guy. Talented. Educated. He’s got a master’s in criminal justice, and he was literally a hero cop in LA—recognized by the mayor, the whole deal.”
A shiver traced its way down Cassie’s spine. Her ex had been a “hero cop,” too. Blake’s next words barely registered.
“I’m a little worried about him making the shift from the hustle of LA to quiet Gallant Lake, but he says he’s looking for a change of pace. His thesis was on predictive policing—using data to spot trouble before it reaches a critical point.” That explained why Blake hired the guy. Blake was all about preventing problems before they happened. He did not like surprises. “It’ll be interesting to see how he applies that to facility security. His approach requires a ton of data to build predictive models, and that’s where you come in. You create reports faster than anyone else here.”
Cassie loved crunching numbers and analyzing results. She started to relax. If Blake wanted her to do some research for the new guy, she could handle that.
“I also want you to mentor him a bit, help him get acclimated.”
“Meaning...?”
“Amanda and I are headed to Vegas this week for that conference and a little vacation time. Nick’s going to need someone to show him around, make introductions and answer any questions that come up. He just got to town this weekend, and he doesn’t know anyone or anything in Gallant Lake.”
“So what, I’m supposed to be his babysitter?”
Blake’s brow rose at the uncharacteristically bold question.
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