by Ford, Mia
“Oh, just Sierra. She wants me back for the promo work and to sign up to my next project…”
“You aren’t going, are you? Not without finding Darcy first. You can’t just let this slide by…”
God, what a turn around. For a man that always made me believe that sleeping around and never growing any attachments was the way to live, he might be turning a new leaf. While it’s been hard for him to learn about my mother, it has also done him really well. He’s moving passed everything at last.
“I know, I told Sierra that I’m not coming back yet. I didn’t say why, I just said that I need to be here. She’s just going to have to understand that I have other priorities right now.”
“These management types are all the same.” Dad shakes his head in irritation, probably thinking back to his own career where he had people trying to control him as well. “Bossy and annoying. I’m glad that you told her where to go because this is what you need right now. You have to focus on Darcy.” His face suddenly tightens up as if he is about to tell me something difficult. I stiffen up myself, wondering when the time will come for me to freak out. “I actually heard something today, in the diner. Something that… well, I don’t know if it’s useful for you or not, but I better tell you just in case it is what I think it might be.”
“What is it, Dad?” This has to be something to do with Darcy, it just has to. “Come on, tell me.”
“Well, there was a woman in there having lunch with her boyfriend, a lady called Ivy.” My heart sinks. This isn’t the ‘Amy’ that I have been trying to seek out, so I probably shouldn’t get my hopes up. “And she was saying that she has just been on vacation with a girl named Darcy. They went to New York and Darcy stayed there because that’s where she wants to run her makeup business and have her baby…”
“Oh my God.” I gasp loudly and clutch on to my chest. “Oh my God, that’s her. It has to be.”
“You think? I don’t want to give you something if it isn’t going to be right, but…”
“No, believe me, that is her. She’s in New York.” I gulp back a thick ball of emotion that lodges in my throat. “I have been looking in the wrong place. She’s gone, she’s in New York.”
She wouldn’t be here, I suppose, since her mother clearly isn’t accepting of the baby, and she didn’t want to come back to me in case I shacked up with Winter, which of course is ridiculous. So, she has moved on. She has gone on to somewhere else, to start a life of her own. Much as I am proud of her for being so brave, I yearn to be there with her.
My life is in LA, it has been for six long years, but that doesn’t mean it can’t change. I don’t know how that will work out, and my mind is darting too fast for me to work out how that will happen, the idea of being with Darcy, the woman that I love, and our child as well… it’s too much for me.
“You need to go,” Dad assures me. “You need to get out there and find her.”
“But New York is such a big city.” My heart thumps violently in my throat. “How will I find her?”
“Listen, Seth, you aren’t going to find her here. At least you know that she is in the big city, there, you will be closer. This isn’t just about you and her, this is about your unborn baby as well. You need to find a way to make it work. You have known Darcy McNeill for many, many years. If anyone can find her, you can.”
His words fill me with such confidence that I find myself nodding and agreeing with him. “You’re right. I’m going to book a plane ticket now and get out there. Figure out the rest when I land.”
“That’s good.” Dad pats me on the back and smiles reassuringly at me. “You can do this, you know. I believe in you. You are an inspiration to everyone. Me especially, since you know how messy I have made my own love life. But if I watch you do this, it will maybe inspire me to make steps in the right direction as well.”
Oh God, that’s a lot of pressure. But in a good way. Pressure in the way that pushes me to get off my ass and do this already. So, I grab my cell phone and I find the website to book tickets. As I go through the process and book my way to New York, I feel a lightness to my chest. I don’t want to leave my father to go back to LA, but I don’t mind saying goodbye to him for a while for this. I guess that shows just where my loyalties lie, what my priorities are, where I need to be. This is it; this feels good, I’m going to make it work.
I grin at my father, silently thanking him for giving me this courage, because I need it!
* * *
New York. As the plane descends downwards to the ground, my pulse begins to race that little bit faster. I’m here at last, ready to seek out the woman that I love, to finally do what I can to get her back. Because that’s what I know I need to do. I need to get her back. I can’t go for closure, I can’t go to see her and agree to co parent with her while she is in New York and I am in LA, I can’t just be her friend. I love her too much for that.
She made sacrifices for me, she came and tried out my way of life and it didn’t work out, so now it is my turn to do that for her. I will find a way to keep my career going, even if it has to be in a different way, I will show her that I am willing to make things work for us. Whatever she needs, I will do it.
I’m excited to show her, I can’t wait to let her know, I’m thrilled to be back near her again. I have missed her so much since she left me it hurts. I really hope that she feels the same way about me and that my presence isn’t something to annoy her. No, there was love there, me and her are right for one another and she knows that too, it was just everything else that was wrong for us. But not anymore.
Now, I just need to use my knowledge of her to find her, like my father said. There is no way that I will be able to find where she’s living, not in this massive city, but I might be able to use her career to find her. If I go to every makeup themed event in the city, then surely, she has to be at one? I’m willing to search for as long as it takes, I will do whatever I need to do. This is where I need to be. I can’t be in a place where Darcy isn’t anymore. I have tried that life and it doesn’t work for me. The only time that I am truly happy and comfortable is when I am with her. I’m sure that the same goes for her as well, and now it seems like we have a baby to fight for too, a reason to carry on with our love…
Chapter Thirty-Six
Darcy
February 8th
My heart skips about ten beats as I look around the room with a giant smile on my face. There is so much more realness to the event here, it’s completely different to what I experienced in LA where it was all a popularity contest. I am finding people incredibly interested in what I have to offer, and who I am as a person, rather than who I am dating. This is incredible, I couldn’t be more sure that this is where I am supposed to be.
I have been talking to all kinds of people. Including some of the most awesome online influencers, beauty bloggers, drag queens, reality TV stars… the people who, if I am even seen once on their social media accounts, my business will take off. I can’t wait to see if that happens.
“Hello there.” A sweet girl in cosplay (Japanese anime) touches me on the arm and smiles. “Are you Darcy? My friend, Audrina Vixen, just posted a new photo story about your makeup and I wanted to see it for myself.” My face must speak volumes because she giggles and continues talking. “Look, it’s a really cool story. I will show you it here.” She pulls out her cell phone and shows me. “You’ll like it.”
My pulse races as I watch the beautiful influencer post about my makeup, my creation, and I can already see that she gets it totally. She sees what my vision is and she’s sharing it with her… oh my God, millions of followers. More than I could ever hope for. They are all liking and commenting on it as well. This is huge.
“See? It’s fab, isn’t it? And she tagged you in it. So, I’m sure you will have lots of new followers as well.” She gives me the sweetest grin ever. “I was wondering if I could do the same thing for you. I have a lot of different followers than Audrina Vixen and I want to show them wha
t you have to offer. Because I love it.”
I can’t believe my luck. I might even be getting a little emotional about this. “Yes, of course.”
I grab one of my boxes of samples and I hand it to her happily. Luckily, I don’t let my tears fall because this sweetheart wants to take a selfie with me. This isn’t something that I am used to, I don’t know if I’m exactly selfie ready, but I’m willing to go along with anything. It’s all leading back to more popularity for me from all of the right people, so I’m more than happy to join in with whatever comes my way.
“Thanks, babes… that’s amazing. You will see my story later on today. I will tag you in it so people can see.”
“Thank you so much… oh, and what is your online name so I can follow you, please?”
She smiles and cocks her head to one side as if she’s examining me closely. Uh oh, have I committed a real faux pas by not knowing exactly who she is? “I’m Francine K. Easy to find.” She winks. “See you soon.”
Holy fuck, I do know her. I just didn’t recognize her in her costume, but she is one of the hottest up and coming pop stars around. She’s known for always looking different and people love her. I smile and wave, the nerves now chattering through me as I wonder what her posting about me will lead to. It’s so thrilling.
As soon as she is gone, I cave to temptation and grab my cell phone to see if I have any more followers, and I’m shocked to see tons. I don’t keep the numbers close to my heart, but they have definitely grown ten fold. I have comments as well, and the sort of comments filled with love. Not the sort that I have become used to. I guess the Internet can be my friend after all, if I let it. Before anyone can come and ask me for more things, I quickly hit my email to see if I have orders and I do. Oh my God, this really is a dream come true.
See? I say as I grab on to my belly to silently communicate with my baby. I told you that I could do it.
I am so freaking proud of myself. Today I have really stepped out of my shell and shown the world that I can do it. I can be the person that I have always wanted to be. To show someone else this, I send a link of the story to Ivy to show her and wait for her excitably reply which comes instantly. I know that she was nervous to leave me behind at the airport, and I can’t blame her for that, I would have felt the same had it been the other way around, but she must see now that I have made the right decision. I am on the way to make myself me.
I could have done this in LA, maybe, if I tried hard enough. If I worked then maybe I could have found some inspiration to be this successful, but I was too wrapped up in Seth, too unhappy, it wasn’t possible.
Soon though, I have to put my cell phone away because I have more people wanting a piece of me, wanting to see and understand my makeup, wanting to wear and talk about it. The more that I get used to talking to people, my confidence builds, and get excited along with me. It’s an amazing journey that I am on right now, and I love it.
“Oh my God.” All of a sudden, I am captured by someone who seems way too excited. I can immediately tell that she’s not here in a blogger capacity but is the media instead. A journalist probably, which isn’t great for me. I don’t have the best experience with writers… but then again, I need to keep an open mind because the Internet is being much kinder to me today than usual, so I smile. “You’re her, aren’t you? The ex girlfriend?”
My blood runs cold. For the first time today, someone who is recognizing me for Seth Bishop and not me. Just when things were going well, something has to come crashing down to change my mind.
“Er… I’m here for my makeup…” I try, but I’m not about to pull the wool over her eyes.
“Oh my God, if I can get an exclusive on this, my career will skyrocket.” Her eyes shine with excitement, I can see the hunger on her face. She is coming for me whether I want it or not. “Is he with you?”
“Er, who?” What the hell? That isn’t the question that I was expecting to hear.
“Seth, of course.” She rolls her eyes and giggles. “Is he with you? Because he has been missing ever since he finished his latest film. He hasn’t been helping Winter Basel with any of the promo, and people want to know where he is. A while back someone thought that they spotted him in New York, but no one could understand why, and now I get it. Because he feels bad for cheating on you, and he wants you back.”
“Cheating?” That’s the one word I pick up on because it’s the one to hurt me most. When I left LA, it was just a rumor and some unfortunate pictures, but now it might be more. “There is evidence of that?”
“Oh!” Her eyebrow shoots up into her hair. “I don’t know about hard core evidence. Just rumors, probably. So, did he not cheat on you? Was his with you the whole time? Because that’s a good story as well…”
“No story involving Seth and I is a good one,” I reply bitterly. “If you write that he is in New York because of me, you wouldn’t be printing the truth. I am here- by myself- working on my makeup line…” I just feel the need to remind her that this isn’t the time or place to be discussing Seth. “Also, if you put out a story like that, I will get backlash for wrecking his career, and making him move. Then not only will I be too ugly for him, but also, I’ll be ruining his life as well. I don’t need that, not when things are going so well for me.”
The look in her eyes transforms to sympathy. I guess she really must be new to the career if she has any human emotion left. She takes a little step backwards and darts her eyes around eagerly searching for someone else. “Well, I will leave you to it then. Sorry, I just wanted to get to know where Seth is, that’s all.”
As she practically runs away, I feel like I’m shuddering from head to my toe, wondering what the hell is going on here. Seth can’t be missing, can he? Admittedly, I am not exactly up to date on my entertainment news because I don’t want to know what’s going on with him, but this seems huge. I mean, why would that journalist lie about Winter doing all of the promo by herself? That would be a weird lie.
So, where is Seth? Why isn’t he with Winter? What the hell is he doing? Is he actually in New York?
All of a sudden, my eyes are everywhere, hot blood rushing violently around my body. It’s too much for me. I can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to be in the same city as Seth, never mind in the same room. I’m supposed to be far away from him, he can’t contact me here, he doesn’t have my new cell phone number, only a few choice people do… but now that journalist has me imagining all kinds of crazy things. I’m actually pretty dizzy with it all. I lean on to the table to keep myself standing as I try to calm myself down. I mean, this isn’t something that I need to get all worked up about, is it? If I really think about it, it’s fine. It wasn’t a confirmed sighting of Seth in New York City, I’m sure that I would have heard about it if it was. And even if he was or is here, it’s a massive place where everyone can be anonymous.
He isn’t going to find me, I convince myself. At least I seriously try to anyway. It’s fine, I’m fine.
I suck in a few deep breaths and do what I can to get myself to normal. Or as normal as I can be, now that damn woman has knocked me off my feet. I really hope that she doesn’t end up writing anything about me…
“Darcy?” Oh God, now I’m imagining his voice. This is really bad. I’m going crazy. “Is that you?”
I spin slowly, unsure of what I am going to find myself looking at, but as I find him looking back at me, my knees practically give way. Either that journalist has put me in such a place that I am now hallucinating, or Seth Bishop is here. Standing in front of my makeup desk, looking proud.
“S… Seth?” I stammer. “What… what are you doing here?”
“I’m here to talk to you.” He shrugs and smiles. “At last, I found you.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Seth
February 8th
I can’t believe it, this is like a dream, I finally found Darcy. I have been hunting nonstop ever since I set foot in this city, exploring every fashion bas
ed expo or beauty even that I could find, until finally I have stumbled across her at long last. Darcy might look shocked, but I can tell that she is happy as well. In fact, the sweet look on her face makes all of the missed calls and angry voice mails from Sierra, all the missed movie promo with Winter, all of the opportunities that I haven’t taken- worth it.
“Are you okay?” She seems to stumble a little, but I grab her elbow to stop her from losing her footing. Thankfully, she doesn’t immediately snatch away from me. “Sorry, I know that this must be a bit of a shock…”
“Yes,” she rasps, unable to gather herself back up. “This is a shock. What the hell are you doing here?”
“I…” Before I can get the story out, the speech that I have been planning on the whole way out here, a girl that I recognize from an award show that I was at late last year, grabs Darcy’s attention and takes her to one side to talk to her about her makeup line. I am completely ignored, which never happens. Someone wants to know Darcy instead of me, which is strange in a good way, and makes me really proud of her.
She lights up as well. As I see Darcy show this lady what she has created all by herself, she shines like a star which makes me swell with happiness. I always wondered why she couldn’t make it happen in LA, why she wasn’t selling her make up to the stars like crazy, but now I can see it. It’s obvious. It just wasn’t the right place for her. It wasn’t the environment that she needed to be in. But this is.
God, I’m a little emotional actually. This is the sort of joy that I wanted to bring out in Darcy, but I can see now that I wasn’t enough. She should have other things in her life to make her shine like this. The people here love her, they are warming up to her, and I can’t blame them.
