by Tillie Cole
Flame grew silent for a few seconds, until he said, “Thanks.” I looked at my brother. He never said thanks for anything. His jaw clenched. “Thanks for watching him . . . when I couldn’t. When my head . . .”
“Always.” Clearly feeling too much emotion, Flame jumped off the chair without a word and bee-lined straight for Maddie. She was up and on his lap in seconds. I watched the brother calm the minute her hand was in his.
Needing a piss, I went into the lodge. A.A. Bondy’s “When The Devil’s Loose” started playing outside. I grabbed another beer and moved to the doorway, and then I stopped right in my tracks on the mat. Phebe was on her feet, dancing around the fire with Grace. Just like the first night she had danced for me, her hands were in the air and her eyes were closed, a fucking heartbreaking smile on her lips. Grace imitated her as Sapphira smiled from under lowered eyes, watching her mom from the safety of her seat beside her aunt. Anyone could see how much she loved her with just one look.
And I couldn’t tear my eyes from Red. I watched her through the whole song. Then when the next song played, her eyes snapped open and immediately sought me out. As Bowie’s “Heroes” came on and Phebe found me there, watching, a loud laugh, fucking raw happiness, came from her throat. And my bitch never took her eyes off me as she danced.
Stunning.
Beautiful.
Mine.
And fucking free.
I drank my beer as the song played out. Then I looked down to the mat at my feet. Two pairs of boots still sat there, shined to perfection, on either side. As I looked over the backyard, seeing my brothers chilling, seeing Zane laughing and happy, I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. “We’re okay, Dev,” I whispered so only he could hear. I swallowed and felt a smile come onto my lips. “We’re all gonna be fucking okay.”
A hand slipped into mine, and when I opened my eyes, Phebe was before me. “You good?” she asked, using my own words on me, a fucking twinkle in her eye.
So I took her mouth.
Felt her moan.
“Yeah, Red. I’m good . . .”
I breathed. Exhaled, then said, “Sunrise . . . I’m just embracing our motherfucking sunrise.”
The End
Bonus Chapter
Lil’ Ash
“Wrench,” Flame said from beside his bike. I took the wrench from the tool box and handed it to him. Flame didn’t look up. He didn’t speak, just kept working on his Harley. We’d worked on mine all morning, now we had moved onto Flame’s as the night came in. Most nights after school and most weekends we did this.
And I fucking loved it.
I loved just being with him. Loved being in his house. Loved eating with him and Madds. Loved sitting with him. I knew he’d never speak to me like AK did, but that was okay. He was Flame. And fuck, he tried harder with me day after day. I saw it.
Maddie’s smiles confirmed it.
“Asher? Flame?” Maddie’s voice called us in from Flame’s garage at the back of his house. “Dinner!” she said and Flame jumped to his feet. He threw the wrench in the tool box and I followed him through to the cabin.
Maddie placed the food on the table and we took a seat. “Did you get all your homework done, Asher?” Maddie asked.
“Yeah.” She smiled. When I looked up, I watched Flame watching Maddie. Whenever she smiled he always stared at her. His face never changed, but his eyes did. He fucking loved her. Anyone could see it.
“How is Zane liking his new school?” she asked just as I swallowed a fork full of food.
“He’s good. Sits with me at lunch and stuff. It’s just classes we don’t share.” AK had asked Zane if he wanted to attend the same private school as me—AK was paying. His aunt agreed and Zane was quickly enrolled. AK claimed it was for a better education, but everyone fucking knew it was to have him closer to him. Our school was close to the compound, small and discreet, never got involved in Hangmen shit. And Zane came back here every night to see his uncle, before AK drove him back to his aunt’s house.
AK couldn’t have been happier. He had Phebe and he had Zane. He was different these days. In a good way. Calmer. Less troubled. Just . . . happy.
“Good,” Maddie said. “Maybe one day Sapphira will get there too. When she has adjusted to the outside world more.”
The minute she said Sapphira’s name my stomach tightened and the room fucking skyrocketed in temperature. Sapphira. Only seen her once at AK’s lodge. Fuck, she was the prettiest bitch I’d ever seen. And she’d smiled at me. A fucking beautiful smile. She only stayed out a couple of hours before going back into the lodge. I never spoke to her. Had never spoken to her. But I still couldn’t get her dark eyes and blond hair from my head. She was there every time I closed my eyes. Hell, she was there every minute I was awake.
“Yeah,” I said and quickly ate the rest of my food. When I was done, I took my smokes from my back pocket. “Going for a smoke,” I said and pushed out of the back door. I lit up my smoke the minute I hit the fresh air. I took a long drag and walked toward the back woods. I crossed the boundary between Flame and AK’s cabins, just walking wherever my feet led me . . .
. . . then I fucking stopped dead in my tracks.
Sapphira.
Sapphira was stood only a few feet from me staring up at the stars. I swallowed, my heart fucking slamming against my ribs. She was dressed in a long black dress with long sleeves. Her hair was hanging down her back and, even just by seeing her from the back, I knew her face looked fucking perfect.
I rocked on my feet, fucking trying to pluck up the courage to speak, when suddenly my foot snapped a twig under my boot. Sapphira spun around in a flash. She jumped, making a small, frightened noise when she saw me stood behind her. I held up my hands, my smoke still burning between my fingers.
“Shit. Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you,” I said and watched her massive brown eyes widen. Her pink lips parted as she caught her breath. Even in the dark I could see her cheeks blaze with red, then her arms wrapped around her waist. She was breathing funny, real fearful. Then she spun on her heal and rushed toward the door of AK’s house.
Before I knew it, my mouth opened and I said, “You ain’t gotta be scared of me.” Sapphira stopped dead in her tracks, but she never turned around. My pulse raced when she stayed in the backyard, unnmoving. “I ain’t gonna hurt you.” She gave no reaction, so I tried something else. “I used to live here, with AK. And Phebe, your mama, for a bit. Now I live next door.”
I watched Sapphira’s head tip slightly to the side as she listened to me speak. I fucking held my breath as her shoulders tensed . . . then she began to turn. Her head stayed down and her eyes never looked up, but I didn’t fucking care. It meant I got to see some of her face again.
I took a step closer, watching her blond hair blow in the breeze. My stomach clenched again. She was so fucking beautiful. “You like living with AK?” I asked, trying to encourage her to speak. I wanted to hear her voice.
Sapphira nodded her head.
I smiled. “He’s the best,” I said.
I tried to think of something else to say. Something to keep her out here longer with me, but I couldn’t. I fucking fell apart around this bitch. Had no idea what the fuck I was doing.
Sapphira turned and started walking toward the door. I saw AK and Phebe through the kitchen window, sat at the table, and knew I was on borrowed time. As much as AK loved me, he was hella protective of Sapphira, like she was his own daughter, one no one fucked with or risk the wrath of his fist. And I was pretty sure he would threaten to cut off my dick if he knew how I felt about her. I knew she’d been put through hell like Madds had been in that cult and through Meister. I knew she was younger than me by two years, was damaged. But I’d thought about her pretty much everyday since the lodge, and I couldn’t fucking stop if I tried.
I had tried.
Nothing worked.
She was always there in my head.
“My name’s Lil’ Ash. Or Ash. I never got to tell you that at the lodge.�
��
I didn’t think she’d respond. I didn’t think she’d speak. But she looked up at me through her long lashes and, shocking the fuck out of me, whispered, “Ash.” I thought I saw her lip flick up at the side into a tiny smile. I thought I saw her blush.
Then she fucking smashed through any barriers I had left when she lifted her head, meeting my eyes and said softly, “I am Sapphira. . . or Saffy. . . or Saff.”
And I smiled. I smiled and flicked my smoke to the ground. I stepped forward, wondering if she’d run. She didn’t. So I stepped further forward, and forward again until I was stood right before her. She was short and slim and I towered over her. But I liked it. I liked that I could maybe protect her. That maybe she’d feel safe beside me too.
I heard her breathing increase. I saw her body start to shake in nerves. It fucking broke my heart.
Wiping my palm on my jeans, I held out my hand. “Nice to meet you . . . Saff.”
Saff tensed and stared at my offered hand. Just as I was about to lower it again, I watched as she slowly unfolded her arm and, with small shaking fingers, put her hand in mine. Her grip was nothing stronger than a feather, but it was warm. Then sucking in a stuttered breath, she whispered, “Nice to meet you too . . . Ash.”
No sooner had the words left her mouth than she pulled back, lowered her head and scurried back into the cabin. But I didn’t move. I stayed rooted on the spot, trying to fucking breathe, trying to fucking do anything but follow after her, speak to her again . . . until AK came walking out of the door. “Ash? You here for me, kid? You good?”
“I’m good, AK,” I said, still feeling Saff’s warm, shaking hand in mine. Still seeing that blush on her cheeks and flicker of a smile on her lips. Letting a smile pull on my face, and a fucking warm feeling fill my veins, I said, “I’m real fucking good.”
Check out, ‘I Do, Babe: A Novella (Hades Hangmen Book 5.5)’
Hades Hangmen Series
It Ain’t Me, Babe (Hades Hangmen #1)
Heart Recaptured (Hades Hangmen #2)
Souls Unfractured (Hades Hangmen #3)
Deep Redemption (Hades Hangmen #4)
Damnable Grace (Hades Hangmen #5)
I Do, Babe: A Novella (Hades Hangmen #5.5)
Upcoming Hades Hangmen Novels
Crux Untamed (Hades Hangmen #6)
Darkness Embraced (Hades Hangmen #7)
And many more. . .
Playlist
Until We Go Down—Ruelle
Close Your Eyes—RHODES
Poison—Vaults
Human—Rag ‘n’ Bone Man
Remains—Bastille (Vs Rag ‘n’ Bone Man Vs Skunk Anansie)
Lay My Body Down—Rag ‘n’ Bone Man
Ends of the Earth—Lord Huron
Dream—Imagine Dragons
Set the World on Fire—Early Morning Rebel
Bring Me Life (feat. Jonny Fears)—Kove
Burden—Amos Lee
Breathe Me—Sia
Scars—James Bay
Devil’s Girl (feat. Melody Michalski)—Overnight
Ain’t No Easy Way—Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
When the Devil’s Loose—A.A. Bondy
Cry Little Sister—G Tom Mac
Hung My Head—Jonny Cash
Breathe—RHODES
Hero of War—Rise Against
Heroes—David Bowie
Sense of Home—Harrison Storm
Burning Ground—Brandon Jenner
Pray To You Now—The White Buffalo
Grace—Rag ‘n’ Bone Man
Highwayman—The Highwaymen
To listen to this playlist click here
Acknowledgements
Mam and Dad, thank you for all the support. Thank you to my husband, Stephen, for keeping me sane. Samantha, Marc, Taylor, Isaac, Archie, and Elias, love you all.
Thessa, thank you for being the best assistant in the world. You make the best edits, keep me organized and are one kick ass friend to boot!
Liz, thank you for being my super-agent and friend.
To my fabulous editor, Kia. I couldn’t have done it without you.
To my trusted beta readers, you did it again. Thank you!
Neda and Ardent PRose, I am so happy that I jumped on board with you guys. You’ve made my life infinitely more organized. You kick PR ass!
To my Hangmen Harem, I couldn’t ask for better book friends, thank you for all for everything you do for me.
My Flame Whores, you make each day that little bit more special. Thank you.
Jenny and Gitte—you know how I feel about you two ladies. Love you to bits! I truly value everything you’ve done for me over the years, and continue to do!
Thank you to all the AMAZING bloggers that have supported my career from the start and the ones who help share my work and shout about it from the rooftops.
Thank you to all my wonderful author friends. It would be a scary world without you to lean on. And lastly, thank you to the readers. Without you none of this would be possible.
Live Free. Ride Free. Die Free!
Author Biography
Tillie Cole hails from a small town in the North-East of England. She grew up on a farm with her English mother, Scottish father and older sister and a multitude of rescue animals. As soon as she could, Tillie left her rural roots for the bright lights of the big city.
After graduating from Newcastle University with a BA Hons in Religious Studies, Tillie followed her Professional Rugby player husband around the world for a decade, becoming a teacher in between and thoroughly enjoyed teaching High School students Social Studies before putting pen to paper, and finishing her first novel.
Tillie has now settled in Austin, Texas, where she is finally able to sit down and write, throwing herself into fantasy worlds and the fabulous minds of her characters.
Tillie is both an independent and traditionally published author, and writes many genres including: Contemporary Romance, Dark Romance, Young Adult and New Adult novels.
When she is not writing, Tillie enjoys nothing more than curling up on her couch watching movies, drinking far too much coffee, while convincing herself that she really doesn’t need that extra square of chocolate.
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Table of Contents
Glossary
