by Nana Malone
He stood with his arms crossed, studying me intently. I could feel his anger, but he kept it banked. “I could kill him for making you afraid.”
The anger scared me, but I also saw now that it wasn’t directed at me… and it wouldn’t be. Slowly I forced the words out to explain why his concern worried me.
“I once went with my sister to visit a college. It was nearby, just in Virginia, and we were gone half the day... But my phone died, and we were having fun. And when I got home, he was waiting for me, and he was angry. He’d called my parents and every friend I had. When everyone left, he methodically recounted all the ways he’d been worried about me. With his fists, with a belt, with whatever was around, honestly. I got nine stitches that night. All because my phone had died.”
Alexi cursed and muttered under his breath even as he hung his head and shook it. "I'm so fucking sorry. I didn't even think about how you would react to my concern."
"And you shouldn't have to, because that is my thing. I reacted from the position of fear and defensiveness, I guess. I get now that you were concerned for my safety. Obviously, I understand that you're not going to hurt me. Because even though being with you feels like a free fall, I'm not scared of you. I'm scared of how I feel about you, and that's a completely different feeling than with Easton. I shouldn't have let it color how I interact with you."
"Let’s face it, I went a little mental. I should have taken a step back and considered how you would feel. I just wanted you to be safe."
"Thank you. Because I now actually have someone who worries about me for the purposes of safety and well-being. If I didn't have all this baggage, I think it would probably have felt nice to be cared for."
"That's all I want. To care for you. And let’s be honest. I’m in total freefall too. But I get that maybe I need to tone that down just a little. My life is complicated, and when I couldn't find you, I worried my life had encroached into yours."
I cocked my head. "What do you mean, complicated?"
His gaze searched mine. "We have a lot of time to talk about that. And I do want to talk about it. I think we should. But I don't want you to freak out. I know that you have reasons to worry, and I don't want to give you any more. I just want to be with you."
I shook my head. "And I want to be with you. More than I think I should."
He nodded slowly. "This happened really quickly, didn't it?"
"Yeah, you can say that again. I came to London to find myself and to escape. Next thing I know I’m pulled into your orbit and can't escape. And I’m pretty sure I don’t want to."
He stepped toward me and took my hands. "I don't want you escaping either, but I get what you need to do. So maybe we pull back just a little. I can be patient."
I searched his gaze. "I want to do this, but maybe we should slow down just a little so I can get my bearings."
"I can do that. Maybe for now you just let me hold you, is that okay?"
I blinked back tears. "Yeah, that's very okay."
He tugged me forward and I met him halfway. "Now, that doesn't mean that I'm not going to still want to see you naked."
I laughed. "Ah, yeah. Do you want to go back for the towel? Because that was really working for me."
He chuckled softly. "I would very much like to entice you. But I think you're right. A slight pumping of the brakes is probably a good idea until both of us feel like were on a little more even footing."
I nodded. "I have a feeling I’m going to regret asking for that."
"So, I'll let you lead. As badly as I want to club you on the head, throw you over my shoulder and drag you into my bedroom, I am going to let you lead the way. You tell me what you're ready for."
I bit my bottom lip. "I want it all. I just… I think I have some work to do."
"Fair enough. But kissing is okay, right?"
"Hell, yes. Kissing, and touching. I just want to wrap my mind around the pull we have. I'm not the only one who feels that, right?"
He shook his head. "No, I feel it too. And it is terrifying. But we're in it together. And I get it. You need time, and that's a really good idea. So, we can take our time."
"Excellent. In that case, maybe you can show me around? I’ve never been on a barge before."
"It will be my pleasure."
Chapter Six
Alexi
As it turned out, pumping the brakes didn’t mean the urge to see each other diminished at all. If anything, it was worse. Last week, Abbie had come by the barge for a couple of hours, then I’d taken her home like a gentleman with minimal kissing, because Christ knew if I kissed her how I wanted, I’d be fucking her against the wall, and she needed time. And so did I to sort through the barrage of feelings.
I needed to figure out where I could find some patience because I was on edge.
When I arrived at her flat, she swung the door open with a grin. "Hi."
"Hello yourself."
My gaze swept over her. The red dress she wore was accented with African print on the edges. It hugged her waist, showing off her figure, with a peekaboo slit showing a hint of cleavage. She was going to kill me with that dress. “You look, sensational.”
“You can pay me compliments anytime.”
And then, I couldn't not be touching her. I wrapped my arms around her and picked her up off her feet, and she giggled. "Hello, beautiful."
"Hello, handsome. Are you ready for the surprise?"
I lifted a brow. "Now, when you said surprise, I have to tell you, I expected you to answer the door starkers."
She laughed. "You know, that's another kind of surprise, but I thought maybe you'd want to do a little something different."
"Well, I packed the necessities as you suggested.” She had asked me to bring a suit. And a casual outfit. I dressed in a pair of Armani slacks and a light sweater. I knew the charcoal gray brought out the color in my eyes.
She gave me a brilliant smile. "You look very nice in casual."
"Wait until you see me in a suit.” I nuzzled her neck, sliding my nose up the column of her throat and kissing just behind her ear. As the shiver ran through her body, I held on tighter. I tried to take a deep breath so I didn't rush her, but I was also aware my cock had zero chill and was nudging her belly.
"Mr. Chase, is that a giant penis in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?"
I pulled back and grinned. "Oh, it's a giant cock in my trousers."
Her gaze slid down and her eyes went wide. “Wow. Isn’t he… enthusiastic?”
I groaned. “You can’t look at him like that, love. Or then he really, really wants to come out and say hello. And that will pretty much shatter all our plans to take it slow.”
She licked her lips, but then took a deliberate step back. “You're right.”
She didn’t stop looking at my dick though. “Woman, stop objectifying me for my large cock, and let’s get somewhere public pronto.”
She laughed. "Said no man ever. But we do have to get going. How do you walk around with that thing anyway?"
I blew out a breath and tried to think of Tottenham’s football stats for the last year. That would surely depress me enough to deflate him. "That's just the normal state of affairs when I'm around you."
"How ever do you manage to walk around like a normal person?"
"It takes determination and mind over matter. Don't mind him. He'll be patient.”
She studied me closely as she lifted her arms around my neck. "You're really okay with taking things slow?"
I nodded. "I am really okay about taking things as slowly as you want. Do I want you? Absolutely. Every second of the day. I think about you, and well, you can feel what happens. But I don't want you wary of me. I want you all in."
"How do you know ‘all in’ is what we should do?"
How in the world did I explain this feeling to her? "I just feel it. Don't worry. I'm patient.” I kissed her nose. "Now where are we going?"
"The thing about Ghanaians is that we love celebrati
ons. Weddings, funerals, outdoorings."
"What's an outdooring?"
"Oh, it’s a way to introduce a child to the world and to give them their name."
“That sounds amazing."
"Yeah it’s a big deal in Ghana. You invite people over. There's a big party. We're not going to an outdooring, but my cousin is getting married, and I have to go to her engagement party."
I nodded. "Well, I am dressed for the occasion, I assume?"
She nodded. "You look very nice.”
She looked spectacular. Like one of the models Max worked with. "Why are you taller?"
She kicked out one of her feet to expose very high wedges.
I laughed. "Ah, that's why. It makes kissing you a little bit easier. But I like having you tucked in right here."
"Well, I liked how we fit too. But this is also nice. Our lips are closer together."
I nodded and then pulled her close to slide my lips over hers. "Yeah, I do like that."
"Good thing I didn't put my lipstick on yet. Otherwise, you'd be covered in red."
I lifted a brow. "Exactly where were you covering me with red?” I gave her a cheeky grin.
She laughed. "That is one distinct possibility. But we have to go."
"Okay, lead the way."
She grabbed her coat and her purse, and I let her lead me back down the stairs. "Mr. Chase, I can feel your eyes on my ass."
"What's a man to do? When the most beautiful woman in the world with the most incredible ass walks in front of him, he's going to look."
"Uh-huh. Maybe you can touch later."
When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I gave her a kiss on the nape of her neck. "Yes, but my girlfriend, she wanted to take it slow. So I'm trying to abide by her request."
She turned in my arms in the vestibule. "I said slowly. I didn't mean I wanted to fully halt this train."
I nodded. "Okay, in that case, why don't you define slow for me?"
"Well, let's see. I would very much like your lips on me."
I lowered my voice and pulled her even closer, my cock throbbing in my pants. "I like where this is going. Exactly where do you want my lips?"
"My neck. My lips.”
I kissed her pulse, and I could feel it jump under my skin. "Is here good?"
Her moan was low. It sent a shiver of electricity through my body. “Is there anywhere else you'd like my lips?"
"Lower."
I nipped her gently with my teeth and pulled back. "I am shocked, Ms. Nartey. For you to suggest such a thing? I don't even know what to say."
She giggled. "You're teasing me."
I nodded. "Yes, I am. If you want my lips lower, you're going to have to tell me exactly where. We could play Marco Polo. Hot and cold. When I hit what you want, you just tell me in a nice low moan. How does that sound?"
"I like this version of going slow."
“How does this dress come off?"
"It's a very deadly zipper in the back."
I growled. "Go changed into a skirt. We can have fun at this engagement party."
"No, we have to go."
"How can you tease me and tell me I can still touch you and then not let me touch you?"
"It's called delayed gratification. Come on, let's go."
I groaned but followed behind her. "Woman, you're going to be the death of me."
"I'm sure you'll survive."
And maybe I would, but not without her taking a piece of my heart with her.
Chapter Seven
Abbie
Relax. This isn’t a test.
Who was I kidding? This was absolutely a test.
A test of how I could manage with Alexi in an environment where I’d only ever been with Easton. It was a test of how the two of us would interreact.
We’d been feeling each other out for the last week. And it was also a test for me. My immediate family wouldn’t be there, but I wasn’t a fool. Within five minutes of walking in with Alexi, there had been an auntie phone chain telling everyone who would listen that I’d walked into the engagement party with an oburoni, a white person.
But he’d been a trooper through the whole event.
Efua was one of twin cousins on my mother’s side. We'd been close as kids, but I hadn't really seen her much in the last ten years or so. But thanks to that auntie phone tree, the expectation was that I would show up for the engagement party and wedding with gifts in tow.
It was hard to gauge Alexi’s reaction. He’d seemed surprised. I had told him it was an engagement party, and it was. But Efua’s father was filthy rich. Gold and oil investments. So there were over a hundred and fifty people at the engagement party.
When we walked in, traditional dancers were performing, dressed in their Kente. Champagne rested in calabash basins all around the room on each of the tables. The bride-to-be and the groom were dancing.
Alexi’s eyes went wide when the drummers came in. "Wow."
"Not what you expected?"
"I didn't know what to expect, but this is amazing."
"Yeah, isn't it? I'm sure her wedding will be another kind of spectacle too." He looked all around, taking it all in. "Do you have any African friends?"
He nodded. "My mate, Patrick. He's from Malawi. But he's never taken me to these kinds of parties before."
"I'm sure there will be some differences."
"This is amazing. Those dancers… Can you do that?"
I watched as the traditional dancers wound their hips in time to the drums. "Only a little. My mother stuck me in African dance classes when I was young. But really, all I wanted to dance to were pop songs. She was disappointed, of course. I really only started to get more into my culture as I went to Uni. I don't know why, but it became more important to me. For a while there, I only allowed people to call me Abena."
A waiter passed with glasses of champagne, and Alexi lifted two off the tray and handed me one. "Is that your preference?"
I shook my head. "I don't really have a preference. But through Uni, I don't know, I wanted to stamp more of my culture on my identity. I guess I was trying to differentiate myself from who other people wanted me to be."
He cocked his head. "Easton?"
I winced. "I don't really want to talk about my ex-boyfriend."
He shrugged. "You referencing him as being a twat doesn't bother me."
I laughed. "Okay. But still, he doesn’t deserve my trips down memory lane."
"No, he doesn't.”
When we sat down for food, Alexi stared at the menu cards. "Is it okay that I don't know what any of this is?"
"Yup. So, gari is this cassava derivative. It’s a root vegetable. So it’s ground, and normally, you add water or some kind of liquid to it, and then you eat it with stews and stuff like that. Gari foto is gari mixed with our tomato base stew."
"And what do they put in the stew?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. Basic stuff. Tomatoes, ginger, garlic, spices."
"Okay, in that case, I'm trying some of that."
"Well, you've had plantain before, right?"
He nodded. "Yeah, when I went to Puerto Rico for a while during a study-abroad program back when I was at Eaton."
"I think a lot of Puerto Ricans eat the unripe plantains, but these are the ripe ones fried in some oil."
We went along the options at the buffet table for food, and he piled his plate high. I watched him carefully as he started sampling each bit. His eyes grew wide with each bite. "Oh my God, Abbie, this is amazing."
I grinned. "I know, right?"
"Can you make this stuff?"
"Yeah, most of it. I mean, some of the stews take longer. Like the okra stew. Ghanaian food is not made quickly."
"My God, a woman who can cook. And if you cook food like this, I should probably up my gym game so that I can eat it all."
"Oh, you think I'm going to make this for you?"
He nudged me gently. "I will do anything for more of this."
I laughed. "We
ll, luckily we're in London. I can find somebody to make most of this stuff."
"Fair enough. Why should my woman cook? You should rest on your laurels, and I can cater to you. Can you show me how to make this?"
My brows lifted. "You can cook?"
"Of course, I can cook. I have to eat. And I'm willing to learn."
"Why do I assume that you think I'm going to teach you to cook naked?"
He grinned. "I mean, a man can dream."
After we ate, I pulled him onto the dance floor. I knew from experience the man could move, so I didn't have to teach him how to find the beat. And he was completely game. He watched the people around us as we took hands and he matched my hip gyrations.
He was tall and lean, so he looked a little awkward doing some of the moves, but he didn't seem to care. It was fun and easy, and God, I loved being with him. Everything about him made me smile and made me happy.
But still, my heart told me I needed to take it slow. Because what if one day this version of happy turned into something else?
He's not Easton.
I knew he wasn't Easton, but still, I couldn't help it. I couldn't help but worry about who he would become eventually. But I shoved those thoughts aside for another time.
Today, I could just enjoy being with him.
When the music changed from the more raucous hip-shaking music to something that was more high life and a bit of a slower tempo to allow the old folks to get on the dance floor, he still tucked me in his arms and held me tight as we danced.
"I have to say, I'm very impressed. You're one of the four white guys in the room, and none of this is making you uncomfortable at all?"
"Why should it? I'm getting a lesson on a part of you, why should I be uncomfortable?"
* * *
"Not many people could handle it, but you're taking it all in stride."
"I get to see a part of you. Of course, I'm taking in stride."
From behind me, a voice called out, "Abbie? Abena Nartey, is that you?"
I frowned and turned slowly in Alexi's arms. He still held on to me tightly and scowled. When I turned, I froze. "James."
