by Olivia Grey
I sucked on her tongue even harder, raked my fingers through her hair, losing myself in the moment. Physically, I wasn’t attracted to Frances. But, right now, with her lips against mine, with her body writhing beneath me, it was so goddamn hard to wrap my head around how much I liked kissing her. How much more I wanted to kiss her. How much my mouth craved to taste her in other places. But if there was one thing I didn’t do, it was lose control. Biting down on her lower lip, I started to ease my way back, locking eyes with Axel.
The look on his face was indecipherable. The erection in his pants, however, that spoke truths his lips never would. I moved toward him and gently took his lips between my teeth.
“Undress me, Axel. You know you want to,” I demanded, turning back my back to him.
Axel ran a hand down the nape of my neck. He sunk his fingers deep, hard, with vengeance. Just the way I liked it. He caught my hair in one hand and yanked my head back before tugging my zipper down.
“You like it rough, don’t you, Jemma?” It was a warning. A promise that I’d be punished.
With his other hand, he aided my dress down my shoulder and then over my hips, allowing it to fall to my ankles. Thin pieces of leather covered my nipples and another thin piece took care of hiding my lower region and Axel dove his fingers between the fabric, slowly dipping into my sex before retreating.
With a quick flick of the wrist, he tainted my ass with a slap.
I winced, but didn’t let on just how painful it was. Unexpected and painful. He wasn’t usually this rough with me, not unless permitted. But today was his day- his birthday- so got to do with me what he damn well pleased.
I smiled, both inside and out. I would get what I wanted, after all. Men. There really is one thing that they can never decline, no matter how fast their moral compass ticks.
I turned to face Axel, noticing that his eyes weren’t even remotely concerned with me. Had he been focused on Frances this entire time?
I was- if only slightly- offended. There was new meat to be devoured. Juicier meat. Thicker meat. Virgin meat. I had to remind myself that this was what I wanted. This was why I chose Frances. If he didn’t find himself the slightest bit attracted to the girl I chose, then there wouldn’t have been a fucking point to it.
Axel took three long strides before he made it to Frances. When his lips met hers, it was hard not to feel the heat of the fireworks that sparked between them. Slowly, carefully, he touched her. First her cheek and then her lips. Like he’d waited his entire goddamn life for this moment. Like the only thing that existed right now was him and her and the goddamn bed beneath them. Catching her chin with his index finger, Axel guided her face just a little higher, kissing her slowly, passionately. There was a completely contrast between the way he touched me and the way he touched Frances.
He treated her with such delicacy. She was his flower and with laser precision, he picked away each article of clothing like a gentle petal.
I kept my eyes on Frances and Axel, rejoicing in the kiss they shared. Seeing my plan come to fruition was one of the most amazing feelings in the world. And nothing, absolutely nothing was going to ruin this for me. Not my conscience, not a random streak of jealousy, nothing. But there was something that shocked me; something that threatened to anger me. Axel traced her body with kisses- kisses that settled in her lower region. He’d sworn against this. If there was one thing that was off the charts for him, it was going down on a girl. Or maybe it was just me that he wasn’t interested in going down on. The way his mouth worked her center, wasn’t indicative of someone without experience. Jemma’s toes curled, her lips parted and moan after moan sang a melody into the otherwise calm space.
I hated her for it.
I hated him for it.
I hated myself for it.
18
Frances
Jemma was supposed to be leading the way. She’d promised to be there, just the way a heart promises to keep beating, until it doesn’t. And when that stops, there’s no life. There’s nothing. Except there was something, there was someone- Axel. I didn’t know what to expect when he walked over to me but I hoped, with all my might that he wouldn’t treat me the way he treated Jemma. The roughness, the spanking, the way he yanked her hair. If this was to be my first time, I didn’t want it to hurt more than it had to.
Axel lips, the same lips I’d dreamed of for longer than I could remember, were pressed tightly against my lips. Not my upper lips. But instead, the lower ones. With two fingers, he parted me, his tongue already pointed in preparation to taste the most sensitive parts of me. I held on to the sheets, gripped them for dear life as he moved just that much closer. And when his tongue found my clit, I almost found a cliff. I was soaring and I was falling. I was hot and I was cold. I was in heaven and I was in the best kind of hell.
“Axel,” I whispered, losing myself to the moment, to the pleasure. A moan ripped from my throat and I clenched my teeth hard, fighting against the screams that wanted to taint the air. Axel shifted his gaze, so that from between my thighs, his eyes were focused on mine.
He was enjoying this. And if the look on his face was anything to go by, the satisfaction he got from licking me senseless was not far from the satisfaction I was receiving. The harder he flicked his tongue, the more I forgot about Jemma. It was just Axel and me, just me and Axel.
A lone finger- parted me and my body tensed in anticipation of what was to come. I clamped my mouth shut, holding back the sounds that wanted desperately to escape. Axel picked up a rhythm and my hips rocked to it.
“You’ll tell me if I’m going too fast,” he whispered, lifting his head slightly.
I nodded, not breaking away from his gaze.
Somehow, it was his very gaze that grounded me. Made me feel like everything would be okay. That this was okay.
I wanted him. He wanted me.
Jemma fell even further to the background as Axel slid my underwear to my thighs. When his eyes found mine again, there was a question in them. I answered it with a kiss, reaching down to unbuckle his pants. Again, he looked at me for approval and I felt safe. Safer than I should have felt.
I nodded, sucked in a deep breath.
He dipped his head and the rest of his body followed.
“You’re so fucking beautiful, Frances,” he whispered. And the words- those words- they made everything seem all right.
Just us. Just Axel and me. That’s all that existed in that moment. Except the pain. With one hand, he guided my leg to the side, making it easier for himself to enter me. His hands were on my breasts, redirecting the sensations that I should feel. But the pain, it was more than the pleasure I felt shooting through me when he twisted my nipple between his fingers.
“You okay?”
I nodded. This time it was a lie. I wasn’t okay. He was ripping me apart from the inside out and though the pain lessened with each stroke, it was still there. Begging me to beg him to stop? But I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted him to make me enjoy him. I could enjoy this.
Axel stopped stroking but was still inside me.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Frances. You’ll tell me when you can’t handle it, won’t you?” he whispered the words with so much tenderness that my heart felt like jelly in my chest.
I kissed him. Pressed my lips against his. Hard. So hard. I allowed my brain to get wrapped up in the desire that I knew he felt; the desire that I felt. And my body, it told me that it was okay to feel good. Axel worked away the pain, bringing more and more pleasure with each stroke. I was completely lost in him; in the idea of us being together. It was as though the entire world- save for Axel and me- disappeared right before my eyes. I moaned, louder and louder with each of his thrusts. One final stroke sent my body climbing the highest of heights. Feelings of ecstasy cradled me in its bosom and kept me there for a while, permitting me to revel in the satisfaction Axel had delivered.
Axel smiled, swept my hair away from my face and graced my forehead with a kiss.
> “Thank you,” he said.
And then there was another voice. A voice we’d both forgotten about. This moment didn’t belong to us, not really, anyway. A voice that took hold of my heart and twisted, vengefully.
“I… I… I’m sorry,” I stuttered, reaching for my dress and slipping into it as fast as I could manage.
“Oh, but we’re just getting started, Frances,” she teased. Clapping like we’d put on a show for her. Which, in a sense, we had. I could see the evil in her eyes, the markings of a woman who was holding onto a thread thin rope of control.
“Frances,” Axel reached for my hand.
I pulled away.
“Oh come on. Don’t be a baby about it,” Jemma chastised. “You were okay. A little weak to start with, but…I mean, being your first time and all, no one’s gonna judge you for it. Axel and I, we might have a little giggle later –“
“Stop it, Jemma!” Axel’s voice was a command, so much strength in it. Strength that didn’t nothing to shake the ground beneath Jemma. She rolled her eyes as if to say, Stupid bastard.
I didn’t look at either of them.
Through the door and down the narrow hallway I ran, passing door after door until I was standing in front of the elevator, crashing my thumb vengefully at the ‘call’ button.
I could hear screaming coming from the room. Jemma and then Axel. Axel and then Jemma. I couldn’t make out what they were saying though. Maybe it was better that way.
The elevator dinged and the doors slid apart, all too slowly. I entered, trying hard to tune out the rapid footsteps that were persistent on catching up to me.
19
Jemma
Little Miss Innocent lost her V-Card. The look on her face was worth each and every minute that I had to wait. It was like watching one of those cheesy, low budget movies. Pathetic. The fear. The patience. The way he whispered sweet nothings in her ear and she sapped it all up like an underfed dog.
Are you okay, Frances? Am I hurting you, Frances? We’d be so good together, Frances? So pathetic- the both of them. A part of me wish I could have taken credit for their actions. It would have been much more rewarding knowing that I’d planned such a masterpiece. Unfortunately, I was just the force that brought them together. Everything else was done of their own accord. A steamy little threesome minus one. Who would have ever thought that I- Jemma- could and would ever accept being the third wheel? Not me, that’s for sure. I was delighted, though. To be able to sit back and watch the show, knowing the victory that awaited me.
This entire situation was like a big fat cow just waiting to be milked. I had what I needed. So it didn’t matter that Axel- much too late- realized that Frances was still wearing her hymen. Oh, he was angry. Perhaps angrier than I’d ever seen him, which was a good thing. It at least showed that he had some decency in him; that he cared enough for everything to work.
“You fucking bitch,” he’d barked, storming out the room like a real knight in shining armor.
I’d laughed- to his face and behind his back. Just watching how quickly he jumped into his pants and dove into his shirt was enough to send me in hysterics. Sure, he could go after her all he wanted.
I flopped back onto the bed, waiting for Axel to fail at consoling Frances. He’d be back, sooner than later. And yes, I was prepared to deal with another few minutes of being yelled at, but afterwards, I’d demand the respect that he damn well knew he owed me. In my hands were the key to a future he couldn’t even begin to imagine.
In the end, he’d thank me.
In the end, I’d thank Frances.
20
Frances
The elevator doors slid open and again, the breath was knocked right out of me. Standing before me, hands on his knees and panting loudly, was Axel. He must have taken the stairs. Actually, I was pretty sure he’d taken the stairs rather than scaling down the side of the building. Without thinking, I pushed the ‘close’ button on the elevator. Whatever he had to say, I wasn’t ready to hear it. If he had a truth to unfold, now wouldn’t be the time. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always work the way we want it to. Come to think of it, life never worked in my favor. The door was only a few inches from being closed when Axel’s foot slid between the tiny slot and kept it ajar.
“Please, just let me leave,” I said, wiping my damp cheeks and trying hard to fight the tears.
Some birthday present it turned out to be. Somehow, a part of me managed to feel guilty, like I’d ruined something special. However, the only thing that was really ruined was me. I didn’t feel older or sexier or more mature. Sex was supposed to do that- transform you into a woman. Now, however, I felt less womanly and more like a child; a child who couldn’t keep her tear ducts under control.
Axel’s eyebrows furrowed and a frown creased his perfect lips. “I really am sorry, Frances.”
“Go back to Jemma, Axel.”
“You need me more than Jemma does right now.”
“Except you’re not mine, Axel. I don’t have the right to want you or need you.”
“I don’t have to be yours to give you a ride home.”
I wiped at my cheek with the back of my hand, shaking my head at him.
“Jemma thinks you’ll come back upstairs because she’s the one who gave you a ride here.”
“You don’t have a purse on you.”
“I’ll take a cab.”
He took my hand in his. “Just let me take you home, Frances.”
Axel shuffled around in the driver’s seat, not saying a word but also not making a move to start the car. I turned to look out the window, attempting to occupy my brain with anything but him. There wasn’t much going on. The parking lot was mockingly silent. Still, I peered out the window- counting cars, counting colors.
“Frances,” his voice came. “Can I ask you something?”
I kept my gaze focused out the window.
Axel pressed on. “You like me, don’t you? Or at least you did, before today.”
‘You’re my best friend’s boyfriend, Axel, of course, I like you.”
“Can you look at me for a minute?” Hard as it was, I did. None of this was his fault. Whatever trip Jemma was on, she was on it all by herself. “We could make this something more than it was,” Axel said. “It doesn’t have to be all bad.’
‘I’m not having sex with you again, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“If today had happened with your boyfriend, you wouldn’t feel the way you do now. You’d be excited. Happy. Emotional, yes. This might have started with Jemma, but it doesn’t have to end with her. She doesn’t have to be the one to write our story.” He paused. Took my hand in his. “Fall in love with me, Frances.”
His words warmed the deepest parts of me. But that warmth only lasted for a millisecond. The reality was, Jemma was there. She saw everything. She administrated everything.
“That’s the thing, Axel. It’s always about Jemma.”
“Write a different story with me, Frances.”
I shook my head. “Maybe you could love me, Axel. But you’d love me the way you love Jemma. And that kind of love hurts.”
21
Jemma
Axel was mad at me. No, he was furious with me. In public, we’d put on our regular show, starring Jemma the happy girlfriend and Axel, the even happier boyfriend. Not because he wanted to. But because he had to. As soon as we were no longer in the confines of our school’s environment, a shit storm would take hold of each and every one of our conversations. In all honesty, I didn’t expect that he’d be okay with me right after. However, never did I expect things to drag on for an entire week. Frances’ sat on his tongue like the plague.
Normalcy was supposed to come. Normalcy didn’t involve him wanting to break up with me. I had a plan and that plan involved us staying together and steering our relationship out of stormy waters.
Frances, on the other hand, reacted just the way I’d expected. She rejected my phone calls, didn’t turn up to school and th
en eventually came up with an excuse she knew I didn’t believe as well as an apology which I gladly accepted. Smart girl. Shit had already hit the fan, throwing her father’s job into the crosshairs wasn’t particularly a smart idea. Thankfully, she’d dropped trying to tempt my hands.
Needless to say, she was a lot easier to deal with than Axel, focusing on her own flaws rather than the ones she chose to find in me. I loved people who knew when it was their time to take the blame and that’s exactly what Frances did.
“Axel,” I said, putting the phone on speaker.
“What is it Jemma?” he answered in his usual pissed off tone.
“Maybe try that a little bit nicer next time?”
“We agreed to be nice to each other in public. But that’s as far as it goes.”
I pulled a pad of paper in front of me, retrieved a pen from the holder and started to doodle around while I spoke to Axel. “What if I called to apologize?”
“I’d tell you where to shove it.”
“Oh come on. Like you didn’t know she was a virgin. Like the both of you didn’t have a great fucking time. Put on quite the show too.”
“What’s your deal, Jemma? Can you not just be human for once?”
“If you get all lost in feelings then you’ll forget to watch your own back. Don’t forget to watch your back, Axel.”
“Not everyone is out to get you, Jemma. Maybe try to be a little less paranoid.”
“Not everyone. Just you, Axel.”
“Is this what this is all about. Your stupid little secret?”
“Are you admitting that you have feelings for Frances?”
“That’s not the point.”
“But it’s true, isn’t it?”
