by Olivia Grey
Useless information.
The sky is blue.
The grass is green.
Ask me if I care.
I’m really not quite keen.
A waste of time. I had more important things to handle and this whole school business was taking up too much of my time. I pulled out my homework which I’d actually done. As unimportant as Mrs. Brent’s class was, I still needed a good grade. Flirting with her wouldn’t work and so, I had to turn in whatever assignments she issued. Being pretty only gets you halfway there. For example, class participation counted for a lot of our grade. Some people needed to speak up in order to be remembered. As for me, as long as I showed up, she’d remember seeing me. Remembering me told her brain that I must have participated. If I hadn’t, then she’d have forgotten all about me being there, like all the students who didn’t raise their hands.
The bell finally forced each classmate out of their seats.
“Don’t forget to put your homework here,” Mrs. Brent yelled over the squabbling.
I threw my backpack over my shoulder, flashed her one more smile and dropped three stapled papers on the top of the pile.
“Hope you feel better, Jemma,” she whispered sympathetically.
“Thanks”’ I ran my hand over her arm before exiting the room.
The smallest gestures really do leave the biggest impressions. Touching the teacher, that ought to shoot my participation grade up quite a bit.
Walking into the hallway was a disaster. Too many teenagers chatting in groups. Too many nerds flipping through their notebooks. If I wanted to get Axel or Frances before they played the vanishing act, then I needed to spot them fast.
“Get out of my way,” I yelled at the top of my voice.
As expected, everyone pulled up to their lockers, allowing me to get a full view of the hallway. Funny how that always works. It wasn’t hard to get sight of Axel- not with the mop of hair he had on his head. Something was out of place though. Like a squirrel, trying to secure his secret stash for the summer, Axel tossed something into his locker and slammed the door shut.
I kept my eyes on him as I quickened my pace.
“What was that?” I asked, tapping his combination lock with my index finger.
“Nothing.”
“It’s not nothing, sweetheart,” I said, leaning into his ear. “You tossed some secret paper in your locker and I’d like to know what it is.”
He combed his hand through his hair. “It’s a letter.”
“A letter?”
“From a college.”
“Did you get accepted?”
“I don’t know. Didn’t have the chance to read it.”
“Well why don’t we have a look at it together?” I asked, pushing his hand toward the lock.
Axel pulled back. “I’d rather read it on my own. If I don’t get in, I wouldn’t want to have to deal with your snickering.”
I wasn’t convinced but I let it slide. In due time, I’d find out what it was. Perhaps a letter to his dearly beloved, Frances. Boring.
“So…” I traced a finger over his chest. “Let’s go grab a milkshake.”
“Not in the mood,” he replied, making an attempt to walk away.
“Frances can come,” I added. “I’m sure she’d love to spend some time with you. I mean, us. She’d love to spend some time with her best friends. Don’t you think?”
“Frances isn’t my best friend. I hardly know the girl. Plus, I don’t exactly think she should be your best friend either so if she’s avoiding you, good for her.”
“Come on. I’ll be on my best behavior.”
“I’m not sure I want to see what that looks like,” he snorted.
“Do I really have to revert to evil tactics in order to get you to comply?”
“Damn it Jemma,” he groaned. “If you wanna hang out with Frances, just call her.”
I pouted my lips at him. “The thing is, I want you to call her.”
“What do I have to do with any of this? She’s your friend, remember. Your best friend.”
“Damn it Axel.” I slammed my fist against the locker. “I know what the both of you have been up to and if you want to protect that stupid little bitch, then I suggest you listen to me.”
“She’s not…” he started, but seeing the look on my face, changed his mind. Axel knew all too well when I wasn’t in the playing mood. “Fine,” he flailed his hands around. “I’ll text her.”
“Just ask her to meet you out front. Don’t tell her I’m with you. Okay?”
24
Frances
We made rules. It’s called a private life for a reason, but Axel, he liked pushing boundaries. There wasn’t that high of a chance to get caught together, not when most students were inside enjoying slime whipped up by the lovely ladies in the cafeteria. But the chance of Jemma spotting us wasn’t one that I wanted to take.
Regardless of the throb of terror I felt in my chest when I received Axel’s text message, I headed to the parking lot to meet him. First, I’d scan the area, make sure there were no lingering eyes around, waiting to report our meeting with Jemma. If anyone saw us, we could always make it seem harmless, like we weren’t up to much. But only a fool makes plans because God is the one who truly has the handle on our lives. In this case, Jemma would be God. She wasn’t like God in any way, however, she still dictated little aspects of my life and I had no control over it.
As I walked into the parking lot, I was reminded of this. Hands wrapped around Axel’s waist, smile directed at me, she watched each and every move I made. Try to run and she would catch me. Try to hide and she would find me. There was no choice but to play along; pretend as though her fondling Axel didn’t bother me at all.
“Hey Jemma,” I said, before nodding a ‘hello’ in Axel’s direction.
She dropped her hands from Axel and skipped a few feet over to me. There was no hesitation to engulf me in a hug. Automatically, I hugged her back, cringing at how unnatural it felt.
“Gosh,” she grabbed my cheeks the way my grandmother used to, “it’s like I haven’t seen you in forever. You’d think we were on summer break or something.”
“We saw each other this morning,” I reminded her with a smile.
Always smile. If it doesn’t come naturally, force it. There was a lot to be hidden and one wrong move could blow my cover.
“I’m just so happy we all get to hang out.” She took Axel’s hand and brought it to her lips.”‘I’ve missed the both of you like crazy. Though, I must say- no offense Axel- I think I’ve missed Frances more.”
“You’re acting like you don’t see us every damn day in school,” Axel said under his breath.
I wished he wouldn’t be so rude, though a part of me was happy he was. Playing the loving couple with Jemma would crush me, especially after the moments we’d shared in the past few weeks. One could say that I was really falling for Axel- it wouldn’t be a lie. We didn’t do much together but still, the connection between us was strong. We’d talk for hours on the phone. He’d drop by every once in a while. There was a kiss or two. Or three. Or more. Not in public, though. Everything was done in a hush-hush manner. Both he and I knew that things were better when Jemma was kept oblivious.
“Okay, so milkshakes?” Jemma looked to Axel and then to me.
“Sounds good,” I replied.
“We can get something else if you’re not in the mood for milkshakes,” she said to Axel.
“Whatever’s fine. I haven’t got much of an appetite for anything in particular. Or anything at all. So if y’all want milkshakes then I’m down.”
“Milkshakes it is,” Jemma said, still holding onto Axel’s hand for dear life.
Again, I cringed. Couldn’t he just pull away? I understood the dynamics, but there were ways he could ease himself out of the situation without risking anything.
Axel opened Jemma’s door and she hopped in. For a moment, I thought he’d open mine, but he just walked past me and entered the passenger se
at, slamming the door shut behind him. It would have been too obvious. We had to keep things discrete.
From the backseat, I watched Axel’s every move. His actions were more important than Jemma’s. Initially, things were bearable. She made a move, he brushed her off lightly or engaged minimally. That was until a few minutes inside the diner. Axel sat in the middle, sharing equal space with his two ‘lovers’. I smiled at the thought. At least Jemma didn’t have him all to herself. Leaning in, Axel whispered into Jemma’s ear. Her face lit up, her smile stretching from cheek to cheek.
I felt like I’d lost. Not that we were competing. Still, Jemma won him over with a few little words and. I knew, because rather than being pressed against my thigh like he was earlier, there was a gap between us. It was like we were sitting on a seesaw and their connection was heavier than mine- it separated us.
I sipped slowly on my milkshake, crossing my fingers and hoping that someone would make a move to get back to school. But no one- not Jemma, not Axel and not me- made a move.
“Oh my God, Frances,” Jemma started, prefacing another story. “Axel’s got to tell you about the time he spent a week at my house.”
He placed his hand on top of Jemma’s and gave it a little squeeze. “Save for the ring, it was like we were married.”
Jemma’s eyes lit up and she beamed a little more.
“Well, that was the point, wasn’t it?” Jemma giggled. Fake. But then again, there wasn’t much that wasn’t fake about Jemma.
I took a long hard slurp of my milkshake, hoping like hell it would freeze my brain. No such luck. Each touch Jemma received, was another stab my heart had to beat through. Putting on a show, that’s what he was doing. But we weren’t in a movie. This was real life. And the smile on his face was one that looked too natural to be fake.
The story Jemma wanted him to tell, it was no longer being told to me. They were telling it to each other. They were both so good at keeping secrets that both of their parents never found out. They’d slept in the same bed for the entire week, never growing bored of each other. He kissed her awake every morning. She kissed him goodnight when the sun went down. This would never be Axel and me. My parents had rules. My parents enforced their rules. Jemma’s parents didn’t care. Jemma didn’t have rules.
I realized then, that I would never to be to Axel who Jemma was to him. The both of them, they weren’t cut from the same cloth I was cut from. Two perfect people living in their own perfect world. That’s how I should allow it to be. Axel, he would only break my heart, but in different ways than Jemma was capable of. She knew how to ruin people down to the core and he knew how to break them just as fiercely. Watching the both of them together was doing both these things to me at once. Somehow, I had the strength to sit through it. Perhaps my brain had kicked in, ensuring that I faced the truth; ensuring that I understood it.
Things needed to end between Axel and me. I needed to leave the wolves in their habitat, and lock myself away in a cage that was secure enough to keep them out. Unfortunately, attending the same school meant that avoiding them was virtually impossible. Avoiding them meant being alone. My friends, the ones that I used to have, the real ones, they were no longer available for me to hide behind. They’d no longer be there to help me pick up the pieces, no matter what Ginny said. I would be lost without Jemma; lost without Axel. Maybe pain was better than isolation. Just maybe.
25
Jemma
Deception. I was good at it. And there was a possibility that Axel was better; at least when it came to deceiving Frances. In another life, with the same abilities, he could have strutted his way to Hollywood and graced television screens worldwide. He was that good. So good, in fact, that I almost forgot he hated me. He laughed at all my jokes. Made jokes that I laughed at. But best of all, he gave Frances everything she needed to chew on and upset that chubby little tummy of hers. Oh and she was furious. Smiling, sipping away at her milkshake, but furious.
“Alright guys, it’s about time we headed back to school,” I said, raising myself out of the booth.
Axel took the same route as me to exit the booth. Frances slithered her way out the left side and stood with her hands crossed in front of her chest. She didn’t look angry, just hurt. Okay, maybe a bit of both, but the pain was a lot more overwhelming than the anger. I felt for her, if only slightly. Poor girl. Too small of a person to actually stand up for what she wants. That’s where her and Axel were similar. Except, he had a reason to listen to me. That scholarship he was banking on, I could dangle it in front of his face and he’d bark just as loud as I wanted him to. Sometimes he felt confident enough to threaten me. Thankfully, today wasn’t the day.
Frances… well, she was just like a little puppy. A little puppy who feared for her father’s job. Instead of being disobedient and chancing the possibility of landing in the pound, she listened.
I curled my hand around Axel and on cue, he moistened my lips with his. I closed my eyes, ensuring that this ‘act’ remained believable to our primary spectator, Frances. It was only when I opened my eyes that I saw the impact we really had on her. Pleased doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt. Some might have written my actions off as evil. But they were necessary. If she was to have Axel- to take him from me- then she’d have to do so with force. Force requires courage and it was about time she showed some more of that. Like the way she avoided me, that was courageous. Handing Axel over to her on a silver platter was not a part of my plan. I loved the fact that the both of them thought they were fooling me. Naive was what they were to think I was too dumb to realize that all the time they spent avoiding me was all the time they spent savoring each other. My plan, however, didn’t include letting Axel go and it also didn’t include breaking up the little shenanigans they had going on. In order for one thing to work, the other had to stay in place. Some days, like today, I had to give things a little nudge in the right direction. A lot of it was up to fate which had never been my enemy. The world worked in my favor. It didn’t rotate with the weak in mind.
Axel held my hand flimsily, perhaps forgetting the threat that I’d made. It didn’t bother me much. After that kiss, there was not much more I needed to stir France’s pot of agony.
On the ride back to school, she was just as quiet as she was inside Milky Milkshakes. Outside of a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ when she was asked a question, she had nothing else to say. Axel didn’t even bother to strike up conversation with her. Whatever he had to say, he wouldn’t do it in front of me. Behind closed doors, I’d never really know what went on with them, but what I did know was that my plan was fully in place. There’d been an argument between them, that was a fact. I also knew the direction it would head in. Axel was as charming with his words as he was to look at. He’d know the right things to say to Frances. What he wouldn’t know, was that the things he said to her were just the things I wanted him to say. They were both equally as oblivious to the situation which is what made it as much fun as it was. Behind everything though, there was a bigger meaning. I wasn’t just this evil girl who tried to ruin people for no reason. Everything I did was with a purpose. For the greater good. Some might not have seen it that way because they were too shallow minded. For those people, there’s no hope. They’d rather suffer than watch someone suffer in place of them. I wasn’t going to have that happen to me. My fair ounce of potholes had been set and I was prepared to ride over them. Not with some shabby low rider, but with a vehicle that wouldn’t put my life in danger.
26
Frances
How dare Axel show up to my house? He had no right. Absolutely no right. Especially not after the way he disregarded my feelings to make Jemma feel like the princess she believed herself to be; the princess everyone thought she was. Allowing myself to fall for him- to sap at his every word- was the worst mistake I’d ever made. Outside of sleeping with him in the first place. He thought he could offer me a relationship to shadow the pain. As though being able to say I dated the boy who took my virginit
y would make the circumstances any less vile. The worst part was that I believed him; that somehow, the pain did seem to minimize.
“I know I shouldn’t ask,” mom said, “but why on earth does Jemma’s boyfriend keep showing up to my house.”
She rested her hand on the door frame, preventing me from leaving my bedroom.
“I told you mom, we’ve got a test coming up and Jemma asked me to help him study.”
“Yes, that’s what you told me. I just don’t believe you.”
“Then what do you think it is?”
“I think you’re seeing him,” she replied scornfully.
“Don’t be crazy, mom. You can’t possibly think a guy like that would date someone like me. Especially not when the prettiest girl in our school is head over heels in love with him.”
“Mmhmm. Put yourself down to make it more believable.” She eased her hands from the door and moved to the side. “Frances, you know that girl has nothing on you. Not that I want you to go around stealing people’s boyfriends, but you could have any guy in this world.”
“Sure mom,” I grunted, stepping past her and looking over the balcony. “You can come up here,” I yelled down to Axel.
“In your room!” My mother widened her eyes, clearly surprised.
“We’re gonna be studying mom. It’s no big deal.”
“Frances,” she scolded, but Axel was too far up the stairs for her to convince me otherwise. “You two be good.”
“Yes mom,” I said, carefully closing the door behind us.
Knowing that my mother most likely had an ear pressed up hard against the door, I didn’t get to the root of the problem with Axel right away. I pressed a finger against his lips and waited until her footsteps traveled far enough away for comfort.
“Nice room,” Axel said, pointing to the photo of Jemma and me.
