by Olivia Grey
“Girl,” Clark said, stepping forward. ‘It’s been a good minute since we’ve hung out over here. Can’t say I haven’t missed it.’ He leaned in for a hug, careful not to smudge my makeup- or his. “I would tell you that you look great but I know you’re not one to fetch for compliments.”
“Can’t say anything less about you yourself,” I replied, eyeing his shiny Dolce Gabbana shoes. The girls remained silent. Smiley, but silent. “All right y’all, come inside. Frances will show you where to put the presents.”
I took to a corner with Clark while Frances engaged in random chitchat with Jane and Amma.
“You’ve really done a number on that girl,” Clark whispered, his eyes darting to Frances and then back to me.
“Whenever I hear that saying it always sounds like a bad thing. Like did I do a number one or a number two on her?”
Clark laughed. One of those laughs where his hands swayed back and forth before cradling his stomach. “Jemma girl, it’s been too long. Just way too long. All these other bitches don’t know the meaning of cracking a joke, but you… you’ve got it down to a T. Anyhoo, congrats on turning a troll into a butterfly.”
“Took a hell of a lot of work. But it’s nice to know that someone’s taken notice.’
“Are you kidding me? Everyone’s talking about it. Look at her, she’s even got your attitude rehearsed.”
I rolled my eyes, “Eh. There’s still some work to be done.”
“Don’t go doing too much now. Next thing you know, she’s hopping off to Sunset Island with your man.”
Can someone please take the dagger out? There I was forgetting that I lived in a universe where my name was known, my actions monitored and my relationship status rehearsed. When shit hit the fan with Axel, all they’d be talking about is, how she stole my man. Even though I knew Frances and Axel’s time together would be limited, it didn’t take away the annoyance of knowing I’d be gossiped about.
“If Axel’s into that type, which he’s not,” I said.
Something in my tone must have told Clark he stepped out of line because he was quick to the defense, stuttering over one word after the other. “Yeah. No. Eh- yuck, right?”
“Exactly.” The doorbell sounded and I gestured to Clark to get it. “Just leave the door open. That way no one has to be running back and forth.”
As soon as I saw those eyes, I regretted not stepping up to the plate. I had one more opportunity to stir some jealousy in Frances and I blew it. By the time she caught wind of the fact that Axel had arrived, with his best companions on hand, Thomas and a freckled boy named Alan, she whipped her head around so fast, I thought I heard it snap.
Axel hesitated slightly, as though he couldn’t decide who to approach first, me or Frances. He wasn’t going to ruin my party and he needed to know that.
“Let’s go get a drink together, sweetie,” I called after him.
Slowly, he made his way over to me, hands tucked in his navy blue skinny jeans and the cockiest look set on his face.
“You look nice,” he answered, not even bothering to get a full view of me the way he usually did- twirling me around so that he could look at my ass.
“You don’t look too shabby yourself.”
I leaned in for a kiss and he leaned back, discretely, but nonetheless embarrassing.
“Not today, Jemma. I’m here to have a good time, please don’t ruin it.”
“Seems like you’re the one who’s ready to stir shit into a situation that should only smell of roses.”
“Whatever that means,’ he huffed. ‘About that drink?”
“Gladly,” I replied, taking his hand and putting on my best smile as we walked through the living room and out to the patio.
I heard a roar of ‘hellos’ coming from inside and determined that more guests had arrived. I didn’t turn back to greet them. I didn’t even look to see what dumb expression Frances had on her face as we went by her.
“Come on Axel,” I said, once there were no ears around to hear us, “I really do want this night to be perfect. So I don’t care what kind of shenanigans you want to keep up after, just let me have this one night, okay?”
“I’m in one of the best moods, Jemma. So I can promise you, there’s nothing to worry about.”
“Not even Frances?” I asked cautiously.
His smile trembled slightly. He put it back in place, trying hard to keep from showing emotions.
“Are we done?”
“There is something going on with you two, isn’t there?”
Of course, I knew the answer. It just wasn’t my intention to let on how much I knew. See, Axel’s vehicle is one that’s hard to hide. I’d driven by Frances’ house on numerous occasions, playing ‘Where’s Waldo’ and what do you know, that son-of-a-bitch always had his car parked on the corner.
“Nothing out of the ordinary is going on between Frances and me,” he said, looking over his shoulder.
“Great,” I responded, keen to end the conversation.
All this talk about that chubby little nerd was getting old.
30
Frances
There was a shift in the universe when Axel walked in. It was like someone took the planet and tilted it from me to Jemma. I tried, desperately, not to pay too much attention the way he avoided me, but I was bothered. Somewhere, deep down, I knew he didn’t want to. I knew, that as always, she released her claws in his direction and latched them onto him, leaving him with no choice but to reel into her.
“This drink,” Amma said, “it doesn’t even taste like there’s anything in there.”
“Jemma sure knows how to disguise the liquor,” Jane replied.
I nodded… at everything they said, unable to offer them my full concentration. It was exhausting, trying to twist my head to peer through the glass door. All I got were slender glimpses of Axel’s white smile and every once in a while, Jemma’s lacquered nails, a glittery pink. She tapped him on the shoulder in what seemed to be a friendly manner and he responded. Not with despise or scorn, but the way he always responded to her in public. Putting on a show and playing a role wasn’t something strange to Axel. He’d managed to craft the act so well, that not a single soul- outside of Axel, Jemma and me- realized the fraudulence of their relationship.
With all that in mind, I still managed to envy her. Every moment she spent with Axel was a moment I didn’t have him all to myself. I watched and waited, waited and watched, uncertain of what could be taking them so long. Ten minutes or twenty? Twenty minutes or thirty? I had no idea. All I knew was that it felt like eternity. Deep down, I yearned for the day when he no longer had to put on a show; when he could be mine and only mine. My only wish was that it didn’t take too long. Senior year was limited. Prom was just around the corner. Those were the special occasions I’d disregarded as one of the nerds, but something I looked forward to once Jemma took me into her nest. Now, my situation was even better. My date wouldn’t be a jock who was forced by Jemma to hold my hand. Instead, he’d be the guy I couldn’t get out of my head, the guy that I’d dreamed up some kind of a future with.
Ever since I started high school, my parents had been having ‘the talk’ with me. My dad would always go on about waiting until I’m thirty to have a boyfriend. A joke, though something I never thought impossible.
Mom, on the other hand, was a bit freer when it came to speaking about potential relationships. Through all these conversations, there was one thing that she always emphasized- high school love isn’t real love. I believed her- up until I heard those three little words from Axel. If real love didn’t feel the way he made me feel, then I didn’t want real love.
Jemma and Axel were still behind me, smiling away like a pair of hyenas. It’s all for show, I reminded myself. I watched for a minute, forcing a smile as Jim snapped picture after picture of the happy couple. According to the large majority, a picture’s worth a thousand words. I found myself imagining Jemma choking on those words.
“Ove
r here Frances.’”Jemma waved her hand around overdramatically. “We’ve got to get a couple of the three of us.”
Cruel, that’s what it was. There was no bittersweet moment in being this close to Axel. Even the scent of his cologne was Jemma’s lavender perfume. Possibly the same one she wore when she initiated our friendship.
I stood, uncomfortably short under Jemma’s arm. Allowed my hand to droop to the small of her back while she pulled me in close to her. A smile was forced on my face before the bright lights flickered and flickered and flickered again.
“That’s good enough,” Jemma said.
Jim stood there, uncertain of what move to make next, waiting for Jemma to throw instructions. She didn’t. Instead, she simply took Axel’s hand, lopped his fingers through hers and charged in the opposite direction. I watched, invidiously as they took one step after the other. Axel tilted his head back and made a lame apology with silent words.
“What’s that about?” Jim whispered.
He saw. There was no doubt about it. Though I doubted he knew exactly what he saw. “What’s what about?”
“What did he say to you?”
“We’ve got a surprise planned for Jemma. Nothing you need to know about.” I replied, dismissing myself from Jim immediately after.
Gossip floated around our school like butter on ice. As a part of the Rebel high school newspaper team- though only the photographer- I didn’t feel the need to feed him with a story he saw fit to pass on to his peers. My relationship with Axel was private. The way I betrayed Jemma was also private. Undoubtedly, Jim wouldn’t be brave enough to utter a word of something that might embarrass Jemma. But any risk was a risk I wasn’t willing to take. Somewhere in his head, he thought they’d become friends. He longed, just like I had, to be noticed. An event like this wasn’t one the nerdy kids were privy to and so, he knew his invitation was simply a means to climb up the ladder little by little. Once the school year came to a close, Jemma would leave and if he gathered enough stories, he’d be able to enamor the new popular kids and somehow find his way into their circle.
Across the room, Jemma had lost Axel’s attention. Her hand was no longer in his, her attention no longer belonged to him. I thought about taking the opportunity to pull him aside but decided against it.
Instead, I poured myself a drink, reminded myself to keep the alcohol intake to a minimum. I put the red plastic cup to my mouth and took a small sip. Amma was right, the alcohol really knew how to remain unnoticed in the punch.
“Hi there.” Someone tapped me on the shoulder.
I jumped, spilling a smidgen of my drink on the floor in front of me.
“Shit. Sorry. Hi, Katie,” I replied, reaching for a napkin and mopping up the pink liquid.
“Didn’t mean to scare you,” she giggled. “Thought you’d be used to random people saying hi to you by now.”
Katie wasn’t exactly a random person. I knew her well, not by interaction but through stories. Jemma would often go on and on about her, comparing the two of us. Of course, I was always made out to be the better friend even though Katie had managed to stick around for years and never slept with her boyfriend.
“Yeah. Kinda,’ I admitted.”‘I was just in a zone, I guess.”
“It’s nice of you guys to invite me. I thought after that incident with Jemma I would have been blacklisted or something.”
I had nothing to do with Katie’s invitation. In fact, I was perhaps as shocked as she was that Jemma’s house was territory she’d be able to set foot in again. “Nothing to do with me. Maybe Jemma just missed having you around.”
“I can see why,” she mumbled and then slapped her hand against my thigh. “I’m just joking, Frances. It’s all out of good humor.”
I forced a laugh. “Okay. Great. Um. Do you want a drink or something?”
“I was thinking that while Jemma’s a little preoccupied, maybe we can have a chat.”
“A chat?”
“Yeah. But not here. The music’s too loud and even then, people are always listening.”
“Okay,” I agreed.
Katie left the living room first, exited through the front door, careful not to draw Jemma’s attention to her. I followed, somewhat panicky, like I was hiding away an inmate and the cops were only a few feet away.
Outside, I looked around, only to notice that Katie was nowhere. Vanished into thin air, you could say. Or not. With one quick motion, she took my arm and pulled me around to the side of the building. I stumbled, awkwardly, thankful that Katie was kind enough to catch my fall.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m alright.”
“You’ve got to stay away from Jemma,” she warned in a cold whisper. “Whatever she has planned for you, it’s not good.”
“Why would you think she has anything planned?”
Katie had no idea that Jemma’s plan had already been executed. I’d survived the threesome and though my self-esteem seemed battered beyond repair, I didn’t come out ruined. I won. I somehow managed to beat Jemma at her own game and she still had no idea. It wasn’t something to brag about. However, the more I opened my eyes to my situation with Jemma, the more I realized just how disposable I was.
“Jemma always has something planned, Frances. You have to believe me. Get away from her while you can. Hang out with us. Me, Maggie and Sherry. Jemma is feared. That’s all there is to it. It’s not like she’s the popular girl who people look up to anymore. No one likes her, they’re just afraid.”
“I’m not sure how true that is. If it were, don’t you think she’d be tossed off her throne already?”
“That’s the thing. If she’s sitting on a throne, she’s sitting on one that’s got a pile of dirt circling her feet. When Jemma and I were friends, I’d tell her things. Every secret, no matter how dark. Before I knew it, she knew more about me than I knew about yourself. And if you stick around long enough for her to really get into your head, the same thing will happen to you. And when it does, you’ll be doing any goddamn thing she wants you to. She’ll use your secrets to control you.”
“What if I have nothing to hide?”
“Everyone has something to hide,” she said matter-of-factly.
“Then why don’t you just threaten to expose her?”
Katie laughed. “Yeah, I wish. The only person who’s ever managed to get in that messed up head of hers is Axel and well, I guarantee you that he won’t utter a word. She’s got him tucked so far up her cooch he can’t breathe.”
“You think loves her that much?’
“I’m not sure it’s love, but something’s keeping them together. Speaking of Axel, I’ve got to ask you, what was it that made Jemma choose you as her friend?”
“Honestly,” I said, ‘I’m not quite sure. I thought she was gonna kick my ass but instead…” I motioned to my eyebrows.
“Aha, she beautified you.”
“You could call it that. Do you know why she wanted anything to do with me?”
“Not really. I find it strange though. She didn’t really like you. As in, out of all the people who you hung out with, you were the one she couldn’t stand.”
This took me by surprise. Not only did I think Jemma disregarded my group of friends altogether, but the fact that she had a problem with me when we had never spoken a word to each other until that day was shocking.
“Why?”I asked.
“Jemma’s a very secretive person, so you never quite know with her. If I had to guess, I’d say it has something to do with Axel. She’d always make these remarks about you whenever he was around and he’d always go on the defense. But he’s a nice guy, so I guess he would have done it no matter who Jemma was bashing. He wasn’t really one to put up with her antics. Half the time he would ignore them and the other half he’d bitch her out. My point is, whatever she’s got planned, maybe it has to do with the both of you. I dunno. I’ve just got this funny feeling that she’s got some sinister trick up her sleeve.”
“
Well, thanks. I mean, I appreciate it and all. I guess I’ll keep an eye out. Or rather, just keep my mouth shut.”
“You’re always welcome to join our group if she kicks you to the curb too,” Katie laughed.
“Again, thanks.”
31
Jemma
The music was revitalizing, booming through the speakers with no disinclination. A great deal of time had passed without my putting this house to use. Finally, however, I came to my senses, tossed my parents out and reminded everyone just why I am who I am. To be fair, I didn’t exactly force my parents to leave; it wasn’t even my idea. One business meeting or the other had their name printed on it and they needed to leave town for a few days. Of course, they didn’t care what I did when they weren’t home and so I wasn’t breaking any rules or anything. There was someone who was indeed breaking a rule, Frances. As my one and only hostess, she needed to be there when I needed her and for some reason she was nowhere to be found. Perhaps I hung on a little too tightly to Axel and scared her away. I wouldn’t doubt that she was in the bathroom, drying tears and blowing snot into rolls of toilet paper. The thought made me chuckle. She really had no idea what was worth crying over.
I tapped one of the guests on the shoulder, interrupting her booty shake. “Have you seen Frances?”
“No,” she shook her head, relaying the question to the rest of her friends. “No,” she came up again.
Already drunk, all of them. But I guess that was my intention, to have them drink so much that no matter what they were doing, they’d think it was ten times greater than it really was.
I thought about plugging the microphone into the stereo and shouting her name so loud that she’d have no choice but to come out of hiding. Luckily, I didn’t have to resort to such measures. It was as though she read my thoughts, showing up just when I wanted her the most.
