It was fake.
She never wanted me.
I’m a fucking fool.
CHAPTER 27
Grace
* * *
I SLIP onto the barstool next to Diane, deciding to woman up. I want Charlie, and at the very least I can put my heart on the line. Diane looks at me as I right myself, giving me a half smile.
“Hey,” I say. I should thank her for convincing me to come although I’m sure she really does just want to get wasted. The booze here is way cheaper than anywhere else around.
“Hey yourself.” She sips amber liquid from a rocks glass. Guess she finished her beer already.
Putting my clutch on the bar, I look for Charlie, but the bar’s empty.
“Where’d Charlie go?” I ask Diane. I can still feel the awkward tension between us. I just need to spit it out.
She shrugs. “He’s around. I think the other girl is here now, though.”
Other girl, huh? I wonder.
The double doors to the back swing open and grab my attention. Maggie makes an appearance, hauling a big bucket full of ice. She dumps it in the well behind the bar, then hides the bucket. Oh, the other girl. I get what Diane’s saying now.
“You want something to drink?” Maggie asks. “Charlie’s finishing up some stuff in the back.”
I look down to where my beer was when I left and then over to the two empty bottles in front of Diane. “A glass of white zinfandel,” I say. “Thanks.”
She pours the wine and sets the glass down in front of me, and all the while it’s quiet. My eyes keep flickering back up to the doors. I feel like I need to get these words out now and go tell him. But I can’t force myself to interrupt him.
“Wanna go somewhere else?” Diane asks.
Already? We literally just got here. I look at her before answering. She’s drunk, or well on her way there. I can tell by her almost-slurred speech, her rumpled clothes.
“No,” I say, firming my resolve to talk to Charlie. “I’m going to hang out here for a while longer.” I’m careful as I tell her, “You should get yourself to bed though.”
“Whatever,” Diane says. I knew she’d take it offensively, but I don’t mean it like that. She’s just simply had too much to drink.
“You want me to call a cab?” I offer.
“I’ll get an Uber,” she rolls her eyes and snatches her clutch before pushing off of the stool.
“You need help?” I ask her, but she makes a face and turns away from me.
“Hey, Diane.” God, I feel horrible. I turn in my seat, but she yells out, “I’m fine,” and keeps moving.
I try to shake off the feeling that I should go help Diane. I really don’t want to. She’s a grown woman… and kind of a bitch. The last thought makes me relax some as I sip my wine.
I glance up at the double doors again and feel the anxiety come back. I keep my ass planted right where I am and wait for him.
It’s now or never.
Time moves slowly as it ticks by. Maggie’s in and out and so is the other bartender, I forget his name. Customers start to dwindle and that sick feeling grows in my stomach. I check my phone here and there. Charlie knows I’m here. I swallow down the feelings that have been overwhelming me. The feeling that he’s ignoring me is growing stronger. I shake out the tension and sip my wine. It’s practically room temperature now, but I don’t care.
The bar grows quieter and quieter and time keeps going until my phone tells me it’s closing time. It’s just me and Maggie, although she’s in the back with Charlie now. I look around the empty bar and get the urge to go back there, but I don’t. He knows I’m here.
After a while, Charlie and Maggie both come back out front. Charlie sees me, and a little bit of a frown crosses his face.
“Hey, I got this,” he tells Maggie. Although he’s speaking to her, his eyes never leave mine. The way he says it makes my stomach turn.
Maggie slides me a questioning look. “Sure thing, boss.”
She heads to the back, and a few seconds later I hear the back door bang shut.
Charlie and I are alone.
“I’m supposed to be closing…” he says, walking around the bar. He sits on the barstool next to mine.
“I know. I just… I wanted to see you. Maybe I can help you close?”
He looks at me for a long second, then holds out his hand.
“Come here,” he says, pulling me closer to him. I feel the air change between us, and his expression shows something I’ve never seen before.
“You okay?” I ask him, suddenly feeling like he’s breaking up with me. Which is ridiculous, because there’s nothing to break up.
“You like being with me?” he asks me, and I’m quick to nod my head.
“I really do, and-”
Before I can finish, he kisses me fiercely, spearing his hands in my long hair. His hands are everywhere, running down to touch my breasts, skimming around to touch my ass.
He breaks the kiss, breathing heavy.
I smile, kissing him again and again feeling as though each time brings me closer to telling him what I need. I pull his shirt off over his head, tossing it aside. He lets me. His eyes are clouded by something else and that tension still present between us. I don’t stop though. I undo his belt, kissing down his body as I go, trying to show him how much I love being with him.
He inhales sharply, pulling at me not to go down on him.
I’m not about to let him stop me though, so I push against him with my body, and turn him so he’s the one facing the bar.
I get his pants and underwear off and fist his cock. It’s incredible, long and thick and hard, pointing up toward me with his enthusiasm.
“Grace,” he warns, staring at me with a look like this isn’t a good idea, but I don’t stop.
When I run my tongue from the base of his cock to the very tip, he makes a sound of pent-up longing. I take him in my mouth, inch by inch, but it isn’t enough.
He growls and pushes my head down a little, always needing to be the one in control. I have to show him that he's not in control here. Not this time.
I work my way back to the top, using my tongue against the sensitive underside of his cock. Alternating between doing that and taking him deep, it's only minutes before he pulls me away.
At my protest, he merely shakes his head. “There’s time for that later. I promise.”
Then he pulls me to my feet, switching our positions again. He makes quick work of my dress, pulling it up over my head. I’m not wearing a bra with this dress, so my bare breasts are exposed. I bite my lip as he palms them.
Heat spreads through my body, in two direct lines from my nipples to my pussy.
“Ah!” I cry.
“So beautiful,” he marvels. He bends down and takes one nipple in his mouth. He sucks on it, making my back arch. When he releases it in favor of the other, I call out his name.
“Please, Charlie!”
“Please what?” he asks in a low voice with a hint of desperation. Like he needs me to tell him. Like his world depends on it.
“Please…”
The brush of his fingers against my core is like a live wire. He bends to kiss my breast again, his fingers coaxing, opening me to his view.
I moan as he kisses his way down to my pussy. He kneels, discovering me with a series of slow licks that send me sky high. He shifts himself, pressing one hand on the top of my sex, while the other explores.
Charlie finds my clit with his tongue, running lazy circles around it, driving me wild. One finger dips inside my core.
“Yes,” I whisper, urging him on.
That same finger that dipped into my center withdraws, then brushes backward.
Is he—?
He chooses that moment to focus on my clit, while sliding his finger around and around the tight hole. I am crazed with the need to cum, and when he focuses in on my clit again, and presses his finger against my rear entrance…
His finger slips in with
little resistance. I feel my face heat as I realize that I don’t hate it… in fact, it feels … good. Hot and full, but it feels so fucking good.
He slows his pace, giving me a second to get used to the feeling of his finger in my ass, grinding in rhythm. I'm ashamed to find how much I like it. I moan every time he moves his finger.
It’s so taboo, so wrong…
He sucks on my clit, although I can’t forget about the finger in my ass. He picks up the pace, his tongue moves faster, massaging and taking me higher. He slowly brings a second finger to join the first.
I explode, riding high on a wave of sensation that won’t stop. I call his name as I cum, a blessing or a curse, I don’t know.
Before I even finish, Charlie stands up and turns me around. My naked breasts touch the bar and I spread my legs for him. He runs his hand down my bare back, and squeezes one of my ass cheeks.
“You really want me?” he asks me.
“Yes,” I groan.
He enters me in one brutal stroke, making us both cry out. He fills me completely, possesses me utterly, steals my very breath.
He does it again, and again. Over and over, he strokes into me with every bit of his strength. My body knows what's coming. I’m shaking like a leaf.
Every nerve ending cries out for fulfillment. I move with him, thrust with him until I can’t anymore. Until I see the edge of the precipice, looking up from down below.
I cum, shouting his name, even as he's granted his release. He stiffens and grabs my hips hard, bruising my flesh as he pumps his cum into me.
When he’s finished, we stand, both catching our breath and coming back down to earth for a long moment, struggling to breathe. I turn my head back, and he nuzzles my neck, but he won’t look me in the eyes. He finally withdraws from my body and I wince, my pussy already aching.
“Wait here,” he says, pulling up his pants.
I turn around, picking my dress up from the floor. He returns as I'm putting the dress on. He has a clean, wet rag.
“Here,” he says, reaching low to wipe the stickiness from between my legs. I balance myself by gripping onto his shoulder as I feel the warm rag wipe me clean.
“Thanks,” I say awkwardly. As soon as he's done, I finish getting dressed, pulling my panties on and watching Charlie. But he never looks at me the whole time.
He tosses the rag aside and catches me by the waist. Finally, his green eyes stare back at me and my heart flips. His mouth kicks up, half a smile on his face. He kisses me, slow and tender.
When I break away, his smile falters and he lets me go. “I still have to close. It’s going to be awhile. An hour, at least.” He scratches the back of his head, looking away.
“Oh,” I say, blushing. “Um. I guess… I think I’ll go. I have to work in the morning.”
“Right,” he says with a frown. “Right, of course. I’ll just walk you to the door then.”
“No need,” I assure him. “I think I can make it a whole hundred feet alone.”
He looks like he’s going to argue with me, but then he swallows it back.
“Sure. I’ll see you later, then?” he asks.
“Yeah. Sure,” I answer him as I slip on my heels, only then remembering I never told him anything I wanted to say.
“Okay. Text me when you get home, let me know you got there safe.”
I give him a half smile that I don’t mean, feeling the tension between us again. What the hell is wrong with me?
I open my mouth to tell him, but I can’t. He has to work, and I need to get home. Instead, I let myself out.
CHAPTER 28
Charlie
* * *
LITTLE EVIE IS upright in Joseph’s lap, staring back at me with wide eyes as I shove peas into my mouth.
I don’t taste a damn thing. It’s been five days. Five fucking days since that night at the bar.
I should have ended it that night at the bar. I should have told her no, but I just wanted to feel her one last time.
I’m so fucking pathetic, wrapped up in a woman who doesn’t want me. Who never wanted me.
No wonder Susanne cheated on me.
My fork clinks on the ceramic plate as I lower my head, feeling like shit.
“When are they coming back?” Cheryl asks Ma. It’s just Cheryl, Joseph, Ma and Pops while Ali and Michael are on their honeymoon. Without Ali here, it’s quieter than usual. Or maybe I just think it is.
“A full week,” Ma answers, taking a sip of her Diet Pepsi and shifting in her seat.
“Damn,” Cheryl says, absently kissing the top of Evie’s head, although the little girl still stares back at me. That’s a long honeymoon.”
“We can go on another,” Joseph pipes up.
Cheryl scoffs, leaning back in her seat and yawning before she says, “Like when the kids are in college?”
Joseph starts to answer, but Ma cuts in, “Kids?” Her eyes flicker to Cheryl’s stomach.
“Oh don’t get ahead of yourself, Ma.” Cheryl stretches one arm over her head, another yawn taking over as she does.
“Just checking,” Ma says with a smile. Pops chuckles at the end of the table. He’s been quiet all night and keeps looking at me. He thinks I don’t notice, but I do. They’re all looking at me, and I’m just waiting for the questions to start.
As if reading my mind, Ma asks, “When are you going to bring Grace to dinner, Charlie?” She picks up a bun from the basket all the while looking at me, waiting on my answer.
I lean back in my seat, taking in a heavy breath.
She’s busy with the promotion, and I’ve got work, too. I want to give in and just get lost in her touch, but it’s turning into something else for me. I never should’ve asked her to come around after the wedding.
Grace texts me some, everyday actually, although they’re dying off. She came to the bar twice. And each time I avoided her. I’m ashamed to say how much it hurts to end it with her. I don’t want to, but I can’t forget what Diane told me.
I don’t want to believe her, but she knew it was fake. That had to have come from Grace. There’s no other way Diane could have known.
“She’s real busy,” I say before taking a drink of my water. “She got a promotion.”
“Oh that’s wonderful,” Ma says.
“Just where’d you two run off to during the reception?” Joseph asks me, and when I look up I see his cocky smile as he picks off a piece of his chicken and pops it into his mouth.
“Nowhere,” I answer him as Cheryl shoves her elbows into his side. She gives him a look, and little Evie finally looks away from me and up to her mom. She’s only a few months old, but she’s holding her head up just fine and staring at the world around her with wonder.
I’m not fucking settling. And not on a woman who doesn’t want me. For the first time since it happened, I regret thinking about knocking Grace up. My heart clenches in my chest, and I take another gulp of my water.
I don’t know what got into me with her, but I know it needs to end.
I made a mistake, and not for the first time. But I’m damn sure not going to let history repeat itself.
CHAPTER 29
Grace
* * *
I WIPE my palms on my jeans, looking at Mac’s. Going in there is not that big of a deal. I won’t let it be. The sunlight feels encouraging on my skin.
Heading inside, I squint into the dim room. Although it’s a Sunday afternoon, the bar is full. Two big screen TVs sit at one end of the room, playing college football.
A lot of the patrons are gathered near the TVs. I walk past them to the bar, spotting Diane. She’s hard to miss, in her sunshine-colored dress, surrounded by girls from work.
Shit, I think. Why are there so many women here that I know?
I’ve barely talked to anyone around the office since getting my promotion. The amount of work is insane, and I’ve barely had time for anything; I’m making time for Charlie though. We really need to talk.
Seeing all the
girls from work here and knowing I wasn’t invited makes me feel anxious as I walk to the bar.
Not only that, but things are uncertain with Charlie as it is, and having an audience to watch things between us… it can only make things worse.
Even if I wanted to run away though, Diane sees me. She’s a little glassy eyed, like she’s been here for too long and had too many drinks. It’s puzzling, because it’s all of three in the afternoon.
“Hey! Look who it is,” she says, waving her hand and practically making a scene.
Everyone turns to look at me. I blush to the roots of my hair.
“Uh, hey,” I say, coming up to the group in the middle of the bar. I see Karan and Elaine standing together.
“Oh my God,” Karan says. “How is it possible that Charlie looks even hotter than the last time I was here?”
She nods, in a somewhat discreet way, to Charlie who is busy behind the bar. Charlie notices, his head turning. Our eyes connect, and I blush harder. My heart flips, and I grip my purse strap with both hands.
“It’s not a big deal,” I say. I pull my eyes away from Charlie’s, and look at Karan. I can see that Charlie is coming over here, though, each step making my heart race faster.
“You have to tell us everything,” Elaine demands. “Give us deets!”
“Nothing to tell,” I insist. I can try to be low key and do this the way Charlie wants. I won’t make a big deal of it or anything. I just want to be happy and I know I’m happy with him. “Here he comes,” I say beneath my breath, pushing the hair out of my face.
“Ladies,” he says, in that low rumble of a voice. It gives me chills, just hearing it. “You need something?”
“Aside from your phone number?” Diane says. She leans over the bar. “And a kiss?”
“Yeah, other than that,” Charlie says, acting as though she isn’t being wildly inappropriate. He looks to me. “Grace, you need a drink?” His hand rests on the bar as he looks at me.
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