by BJ Wane
Ever since she’d returned home for the summer following her sophomore year at college and she’d discovered she wanted much more from the neighboring rancher than friendship, she’d found no one she desired as much as Con. When he’d rebuffed her by taking off with an abruptness that hurt, she’d returned to college and wasted no time losing her virginity to the first guy who asked her out.
Pulling up in front of the house, she sat a moment, reflecting on that sunny afternoon ten years ago when the light brush of Con’s lips over hers had affected her with a stab of heated awareness for the first time. She would never forget the stunning revelation of looking up at his rugged face and experiencing her first jolt of lust. The fact her close friend had been the one to stir up that pleasurable feeling had been jarring enough, but when he’d backed away as if burned, nothing could have prepared her for the hurt his first rejection caused.
“Aha! I won! That was a blast!” Laughing with exaltation from her first win, Tamara pulled Galahad to a halt in front of the stable, Con trotting up beside her. Breathing heavy from their race, she dismounted the same time as he did, turned and practically fell against him with glee. Clutching his arms, she felt the thick muscles bunch under her hands, the heat of his large body adding to the warmth of the summer afternoon. An odd shiver raced through her body as he looked down at her with that indulgent, crooked smile, his blue eyes lit with pleasure from under the lowered brim of his black Stetson.
“You cheated, sweetie.” Tugging on her braid, he clasped her waist and brought her up against him for a hug. Just like he’d done thousands of times during the ten years of their friendship. “But I’ll forgive you, like always.”
His deep voice, so familiar and yet affecting her in a new, unfamiliar way, rumbled in her ear. “Did not,” she returned as always, never tiring of their habitual banter.
He chuckled and her toes curled inside her boots. What was going on? With a nudge under her chin, he lifted her face, and she knew what was coming, the quick touch of his mouth on hers, but was ill prepared for the rush of heat that light touch generated for the first time. Her lips tingled as soon as his ghosted across them, her nipples pebbled into uncomfortable tightness and the urge to press closer, open her mouth and plead for more was overwhelming. Startled, she jerked in his hold and looked up to see if he had the same response.
“Shit.” Con released her and swung about, leaping back into his saddle as if he couldn’t stand to be there another second. “I’ve got to go, Tam. I’ll see you around.”
Watching him ride off, she knew she would never forget the first time he’d looked at her with something other than fondness. The surprise and regret in his eyes before his face had closed up cut her to the quick, and she knew her unguarded response had crossed a line he didn’t care for.
Tamara sighed at the memory. She’d returned to college a few weeks later and other than the thrill she experienced from getting naked and doing the nasty without her dad or Connor threatening to shoot the guy, she hadn’t seen what all the fuss was about. Luckily, there were a few men who had shared her bed since that night who were more experienced and considerate, but not even the pleasure of those encounters had given her the rush of her first light spanking a few days ago. Whether it was because she’d finally gotten Connor to put his hands on her in a non-platonic manner or because she might have a submissive streak she’d never known about remained to be seen. With any luck, she’d find the answer tonight, with or without his help.
Sliding out of her SUV, she spotted Amy riding up with Jason at her side, her stepmother’s face pink from either the afternoon excursion or the look on her foreman’s face when he glanced her way. Tamara hoped Amy wouldn’t turn a blind eye to his interest. She wanted the woman who had welcomed her with open arms to find happiness again.
“Hey you two. What’s up?” she greeted them as they strolled her way after tethering their mounts.
“I needed some fresh air and offered to accompany Jason on a ride to check the two heifers the sheriff returned this week. They’re looking much better and we should be able to breed them soon.”
Amy had been a veterinary assistant for a livestock vet when she’d met Tamara’s dad and her experience had come in handy over the years. “That’s good news.” She looked at Jason. “Is Neil doing any better at fitting in and being careful?” Tamara had told him about the cigarette incident with their newest employee.
He nodded. “He is, but still has a problem with authority and punctuality. I’m giving him as much leeway as I can, this being his first ranching job.”
“It’s your call. You know the hands best, and what’s needed from them. I appreciate your patience. I’m ready to get something to eat. You two want to join me?”
“Um.” Amy fidgeted and cast a quick, uneasy glance toward Jason before saying, “We’re on our way to get something at the diner. You’re welcome…”
Tamara shook her head with a broad, approving smile. “No, thank you. I have plans in a little while. You two go on. Have fun.”
“It’s just dinner,” Amy called out as Tamara veered toward the front porch.
“Okay, whatever you say,” she replied with a quiet laugh as she bounded up the steps, happy for her widowed stepmother.
It would thrill her beyond measure to see the woman who had been more of a loving parent to her than her own mother happy again. Her father left the house to Amy and enough income to support herself, but monetary comfort couldn’t make up for the loss of having someone special in your life. Tamara knew only too well how true that was. She’d missed Connor dreadfully during her self-imposed separation from him. Now that they’d reconnected and put that hurtful incident behind them, she couldn’t bear to risk losing their connection again. Which was just one more reason why she had to force herself to get over her stronger feelings and the persistent ache for more than he wanted to give.
She arrived at The Barn just before nine o’clock with those thoughts still occupying her mind. Wearing the same black skirt she’d chosen for last week’s visit and a white satin tank that tied at the shoulders, she hurried inside, refusing to second-guess her decision to return. If nothing else, that arousing light spanking Connor had delivered worked to increase her desire to continue exploring kinks she might enjoy.
As soon as she entered the empty foyer, Tamara realized she’d forgotten to ask Nan to meet her again. After hanging up her thigh-length sweater and stowing her shoes in a cubby, she reached for the door to the club with a nervous hand. But as soon as she stepped inside, a wave of excitement replaced her nervousness. This time she was ready for the sounds of people indulging in BDSM play and the comforting sense of friendship and affinity the members of this exclusive club portrayed. She started toward the bar where she spotted Avery and Sheriff Grayson, but Master Devin stepped into her path with an engaging smile of welcome.
“Tamara, it’s good to see you again. I was just looking for someone to dance with. Interested?”
Caught off guard by his unexpected, quick interest, she hesitated, but only for a moment. Maybe it would be easier if she jumped into participating with someone she was now familiar with as opposed to sitting around fretting over who and what she wanted tonight. Master Devin’s kindness and support last week was what she needed right now.
“Thank you. I’d like that.” She took his hand, finger waving to Avery as they walked past the bar toward the small group of gyrating couples.
Not since her college days had Tamara let go on a dance floor, and as the music switched to a faster beat, a surge of adrenaline whipped through her. Smiling, she fell into the rhythm with Master Devin as easily as if they’d rehearsed their steps. He moved with a sexy assuredness she found attractive and fun, pulling her close, swinging her about and twirling her around. By the time the song ended, her heart was pounding from the fun exertion as she worked to catch her breath.
“You were great. Thank you,” she panted. “I haven’t done that in a long time.” Before s
he could move away, he clasped her waist and drew her close as the next song began, this one a slow ballad with erotic lyrics that made her pulse skip.
“I’m good at slow dancing also,” Devin returned with a confidence she’d noticed most of the Doms had in common. “One more. Unless there’s someone else you’d rather spend time with.”
There was, but since Connor wasn’t of like mind, Tamara decided she couldn’t do better or feel more comfortable than with Master Devin. “No, there’s not.”
“Good.” Devin’s dark blue eyes remained on Tamara’s face as he drew her right arm behind her and held her wrist against her lower back, his hips swaying with hers as he pressed her against him. “Relax. Just like last week, nothing will happen between us you don’t want and agree to. For instance, I would love to see your breasts.” He lifted his free hand to the tie on her left shoulder, his fingers toying with the laces, his gaze patient but intent.
He was moving fast, she thought, but maybe that was a good thing. It gave her less time to think. And why not? It was just a boob, right? From what she’d witnessed last week and so far tonight, that small exposure was nothing. She found the slow swaying of their bodies pleasant, his secure hold of her arm behind her oddly titillating, both sensations bolstering her courage.
Since she wasn’t sure she could get a word out around her dry throat, Tamara nodded in agreement. She should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. These were not easy men in this place.
“I need the words, Tamara.”
She swallowed and said, “Yes, okay.”
“Thank you.” With a quick tug, he released the bow and the left side of the silky top dropped far enough to expose her breast to the waft of open air and his heated gaze. “Nice.” Brushing one finger over her nipple, the light graze drew the bud into a pucker. She sucked in a breath but despite the pleasure of that touch, she didn’t experience the heat that one look from Con could produce. That disappointment only hardened her resolve to go even further.
Bending his head, Master Devin whispered in her ear, “I’d very much enjoy taking you upstairs and touching you even more.”
Tamara nodded, determined to keep pushing forward. “I’d like that but reserve the right to back out if things get too…” She wasn’t sure what she wanted to say. Too intense? Too uncomfortable? Too painful?
“You know the club safeword is red. Say it and I stop, no matter what I’m doing or how far we’ve taken the scene.”
“That does help.” She nodded. “Let’s go before I chicken out.”
He chuckled. “I like your honesty, girl.”
Connor pulled into the parking lot of The Barn and saw Tam’s compact, white SUV. He had to take a moment to get himself under control before he went inside and risked laying into her again like the mistake he’d made before. She was a grown woman, free to come and go from his club as she pleased. He didn’t have to agree, or like it, but his brother and Grayson overruled his objections and left him no choice. Resigned to seeing her inside and to giving her another, more forceful lesson he prayed would deter her from continuing down this path and not jeopardize their relationship, he walked in with leaden steps.
Nothing, absolutely nothing could have prepared him for seeing Tam across the expanse of the playroom with one small, perfect breast exposed, her hand clutched by Master Devin’s as the other Dom led her upstairs. His gut tightened, his throat closed and a myriad of emotions ranging from fury to lust filled him with a sense of impotency. He knew her, knew every nuance of her expressions. As he crossed the space with long, ground-eating strides, he could see the taut cast to her jaw and compressed mouth that portrayed determination, but the flash of uncertainty in her eyes as she took that first step up spoke volumes.
Before he could reach them, Caden stopped him with a grip of his arm. “Slow down and think, Connor.”
“Get out of my way,” he demanded, his need to step between Devin and Tamara growing stronger.
“Not until you settle down. We went through this already. You’re being unfair. She wants this, so either tutor her yourself or leave her alone to continue with someone else.”
Caden was right, he’d known that coming here tonight. But could he scene with her without losing or putting a wrench into their newly patched relationship? What choice did he have, did she leave him with? He’d been protecting her for years and wasn’t about to stop now. For years before she’d moved away, Tam’s eyes had held stars when she’d looked at him and he’d known she thought she wanted more from him than his friendship and their close bond. Since her return, he’d caught fewer glimpses of those stars, but they still lingered, and he didn’t want to hurt her.
Being a guy and only human, he’d responded with both surprise and lust to those hints of desire, but his Tam was made for a committed relationship that included home and hearth, and he wasn’t. Once he showed her this lifestyle wasn’t what she thought she wanted, he would gently let her know he wasn’t the man for her and with any luck, they could return to their mutually satisfying friendship.
Taking a deep breath, he nodded at his brother, now under control and eager to get upstairs. “I’m good, Caden. But she’s always been my responsibility, and that doesn’t stop inside these walls.”
Caden stepped back with a nod. “I think I’m beginning to see a lot more than you, little brother,” he said to Connor’s back as he watched him stop at the bar for a glass of ice before hightailing it upstairs.
Chapter 7
Tamara chose the uncomfortable-looking, wood-slatted A frame when Master Devin gave her a choice of which apparatus she would like to try. The padded bench she had sampled last week had been comfortable, but she was counting on the discomfiture of this contraption to distract her from the public exposure and touch of a nice man again when she yearned for another.
“From the feedback I’ve heard, subs are enjoying our newest bondage equipment,” he said as he backed her against the frame and lifted her right arm above her. “I’m glad you picked this. It’s a lot different from the bench I strapped you on the last time. How does that feel?” He stepped back after securing her other arm and eyed her bound body with approval.
“It’s okay.” She didn’t know how else to answer him regardless of his frown of disapproval at her short reply.
“You’ll need to be a little more forthcoming, girl, if we’re going to continue. Although,” he drawled, turning his head as Connor approached them carrying a glass of ice, the possessive, determined glint in his eyes clearly visible without his hat. “It looks as if you might not need to answer to me much longer.” He looked back at her with friendly curiosity. “Is there something between you and Master Connor I need to know?”
“No,” she answered the same time as Con said, “Yes.”
“Interesting,” he murmured.
Devin’s smile sent an uneasy quiver through Tamara, which turned into a full-body ripple of misgivings as Connor drew him away for a private chat. She couldn’t make out their low voices, but the short discussion seemed to end on amicable terms as the two men returned to her, both looking satisfied.
“Tamara, with your agreement, Master Connor will continue with this scene while I relieve Master Greg from monitor duty. If, at the end of my hour commitment you wish to resume with me, I’ll be happy to take back over.” Cupping her chin, he lifted her face to meet his descending mouth. Whispering above her lips, he said, “I think it’s best if you and Master Connor iron out your differences before you proceed with me, or anyone else.”
He covered her mouth with his, kissing her long and deep, leaving Tamara in no doubt of his sincerity in wishing to return. By the time he released her, she didn’t know if her trembling stemmed from that carnal kiss or the way Connor kept his unreadable gaze glued to them. Frustration mingled with a thread of excitement as she contemplated her decision. How could she refuse or move on when all she wanted the minute she saw Con was to get naked with him? A quick peek at him sealed her decision when she s
aw the banked heat in his cobalt eyes as they rested on her bare breast. The thrill of finally feeling his hands on her overrode the letdown of defeat.
With a jerky nod, she breathed one word. “Yes.”
Master Devin inclined his head. “Connor.”
“Thanks for understanding, Dev.”
“Just don’t make me regret it.”
The steel edge in Master Devin’s voice belied the friendly smile he walked away with. It was nice knowing she’d pleased someone enough he would look out for her. But as Connor stooped and tapped the inside of her right calf, a silent order to spread her foot over to the cuff attached at the bottom of the frame, she knew she didn’t need or want anyone else. And wasn’t that the crux of her constant, impossible dilemma?
Wrapping the soft, lined cuff around her ankle, he peered up at her, his eyes skimming her breast before settling on her face. “Remember, I’m Master Connor tonight and that I warned you this lifestyle wasn’t for you. Other foot.”
She shuffled her other foot over, saying, “I’ll remember. And I plan to prove you wrong.”
“Stubborn minx,” he muttered under his breath as he checked the cuffs for tightness and then plucked an ice cube from the glass he’d set on the floor. “No talking unless you need to use one of the safewords,” he instructed as he trailed the frigid cube up the inside of her right leg. “Red, I’ll stop and end the scene and escort you out to your car.” He slid under her skirt a few inches and then pushed to his feet, leaving a line of goosebumps down her leg and a burning desire for more. With his eyes on hers, Connor brought the ice to her neck and traced a path around her collarbone. “Yellow if you’re unsure of something or need me to pause.” She shivered as her body heat melted the ice into a cold trickle down her chest, his eyes warming her even more as they followed it. “Green if you’re fine with me continuing. And, Tam?” His gaze whipped back to her face. Gripping her hair with his free hand, he tugged her head back. “I’ll know if you lie.”
