by BJ Wane
Tamara halted in the still messy dining room as she saw Connor standing at the stove shirtless and shoeless, his brown, sun-streaked hair brushing his shoulders, his back muscles rippling with his arm movements as he stirred eggs. Her breath caught as she gazed at the sexy picture he made, her heart thudding as she prayed he wouldn’t do an about-face and end this before it could go any further. Insecurity gripped her and for a moment, she was a kid again, abandoned to a stranger by her mother, waking the next morning afraid the father she’d never known before had changed his mind about having her here.
“I was just about to wake you.” Turning, Con held up the spatula, his blue eyes assessing as he gave her a careful once-over. A smile creased his tanned cheeks as his gaze traveled back to her face and he caught the wariness she knew she couldn’t hide from him. “The morning after can be a bitch, can’t it? Maybe this will help.” He strode forward and dropped a soft kiss on her mouth, the touch brief but enough to leave her lips tingling and to cause her heart to roll over.
Tamara gave him a shaky grin. “I don’t have as much practice as you with overnighters.”
“You’d be surprised. In case you’re wondering, other than three monogamous relationships that didn’t last beyond a few months, I can count the times I spent the entire night with someone on one hand. Does that help?” he asked, swinging back to the stove.
Compared to her limited encounters, no, but she wouldn’t admit that. She looked away from him as she strolled over to the full coffee pot. “I’ve only had one serious relationship and our split was hard on both of us. I can’t imagine going through that three times.” She felt sorry for Connor’s exes. It must have been difficult for them when he had moved on.
“You planned to marry him. That’s a lot more serious than a short affair, during which I made no promises.”
She flinched at the reminder but cleared her expression before turning to face him again with a mug in hand. Jeremy was a mistake she would deal with on her own. “I don’t want to talk about…” The front door opened, and heat infused Tamara’s face as Amy walked in, her stepmother’s eyes widening in surprise upon seeing Connor before a beaming smile brightened her face.
“Good morning,” she greeted them, not bothering to hide how pleased she was. But when Jason stepped in behind her, it was Connor’s turn to look uncomfortable.
After flicking a quick glance towards Tamara, her foreman gave Connor a piercing stare. Following a moment of tense silence, Jason said, “It looks like we weren’t the only ones stepping out last night, Amy.”
Connor raised a brow and slid the pan of eggs off the burner. “There’s enough for all three of you. I have to get going.” He cut his eyes to Tamara. “I’ll call you later. Amy, Jason, I hope you’ll both be at our barbeque next weekend.”
Amy jabbed an elbow into Jason’s side, and he relaxed his scowl. “We’ll be there, Connor. It’s been too long since we’ve all gathered for a fun afternoon.”
Tamara had forgotten about the barbeque and now was looking forward to attending even more. “I… uh, I’ll walk out with you, Con.” She started to follow him back to her room where he’d left his clothes, but he held up a hand and then gave her hair a playful tug. “No need, little one. Eat your breakfast.”
“Okay, thanks. Talk to you later.” She wished he’d kiss her goodbye but knew he wouldn’t with the other two hovering. Getting down plates, she waited until Connor had dressed and she heard him leave before turning to Jason as they sat down at the table. “What gives with the ‘daddy glare’?” It was one thing to have the man her father trusted with running the ranch keep an eye out for her as they worked together but quite another to have him go parental on her.
“Sorry.” He sighed with a rueful look. “All I could think was what would your father say and acted accordingly.”
Amy laughed, reaching over to squeeze Tamara’s arm. “We’re both fine with Connor and you, just surprised by his sudden change of heart and don’t want to see you hurt.”
Tamara scooped out the eggs that looked perfect, shaking her head in bemusement over everything that had transpired since she’d arrived home last night from the club. “No more surprised than I was when he showed up here last night.” She smiled at Jason. “Thanks for caring, but I’m a big girl. If there’s one guy I can handle, it’s Connor.” At least she hoped that was true. She didn’t know what she would do if he decided this change in their relationship wouldn’t work and he wanted to go back to ‘just friends’ status.
Jason nodded, scooping a forkful of scrambled eggs. “As long as he treats you right. The reason I came in was to let you know we checked on the horses since they were so restless last night and found a raccoon inside Lady’s stall. I can’t figure out how the critter got in there, but it spooked her some. I put her in the corral to settle down, but you might check on her.”
“I never heard them, I’m sorry.” She couldn’t believe she’d slept through the ruckus and blushed when Amy and Jason smirked. Wanting payback, she taunted, “I’m surprised you did.”
Amy grunted. “We’re not as young as you. And Jason’s cabin is closer to the stable.”
Scraping her plate clean, Tamara carried it to the sink, replying, “I’m headed out there now to start on the stalls. I’ll check on her. Poor thing. I’ve noticed she gets jittery around smaller animals.”
Jason rose and followed her over with his empty dish. “I have a few interviews this morning for Neil’s job. I’ll let you know if one looks promising enough to hire. I plan to be more selective this time.” He sent Amy a wink before strolling out with a wave.
“Okay, give,” Amy insisted as soon as he left.
“Me?” Tamara rinsed the plates, cocking her head toward her stepmother. “What about you? Last I heard, you were taking it slow.”
Amy shrugged. “What can I say? He wore me down, as, I assume, you did Connor.”
“Not so much as wore him down as his brother pointing out the obvious to him, whatever that happened to be. He didn’t say a lot, and I was too happy with his change of heart to question him much.”
Amy joined her at the counter and started loading the dishwasher. “What’s wrong? I can tell by that look on your face something’s bothering you.”
“I don’t know.” Tamara sighed, wishing she was as sure of Connor’s feelings as she was of her own. “I’m afraid to get my hopes up too soon. He can be stubborn about his protectiveness toward me.”
“Well, there are worse traits in a guy.”
She thought of Jeremy and admitted that was true. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll see you around lunchtime, after I help with chores and take Galahad out.”
“I’ll be in town all morning, so I’ll pick up something to go at the diner,” Amy offered, closing the dishwasher and drying her hands.
“Fried chicken for me. Thanks.”
Even though Tamara knew Jason would have checked the stable to see where the raccoon might have gotten in, she couldn’t help taking a look around herself. Like him, she couldn’t locate where the raccoon might have slipped inside once the doors had been shut, but they were wily creatures and could work their way through the tightest gaps. If it happened again, she’d ask Jason to set a trap and then haul the animal far enough away it wouldn’t return.
She’d known Lady was a timid mare when she bought her at auction, but she’d been so sweet and in need of a good home after months of neglect by a previous owner, Tamara couldn’t resist buying her. As she mucked out the stalls, it bothered her that she hadn’t heard the mare’s nervous movements and sounds. She’d been so physically drained after Connor finished with her, she doubted an earthquake would have woken her. As exciting as that was for someone who’d never gotten past mediocre in her sexual encounters, seeing to her horse’s needs was her responsibility, and one she’d always taken seriously.
Mark, the hand who had been working for the Barton’s for over ten years, showed up to help her tackle the eight stalls and by th
e time they finished, she was more than ready for a breath of fresh air and an invigorating ride. “Thanks for the help, Mark. I hope this didn’t put you behind on anything else.”
“No, all’s fine around here, more so now those damn rustlers have been caught. Did you hear the authorities picked up the other three yesterday?”
“No,” she answered, surprised at the news. “Thank goodness. We couldn’t afford another loss.”
The tall lanky cowboy returned the rakes to the storage room, saying over his shoulder, “I hear you, but we’re good. Once Jason hires someone, we can start spreading the herd out further. The pastures are greening up nicely.”
“Spring is always welcome. I’m off for a ride. Thanks again.”
He lifted his hand in a wave. “Later, Miss.”
Mark’s good news helped lighten Tamara’s mood from fretting over whether Connor would regret coming to her last night. If he did, she’d deal with it, she decided as she swung up on Galahad. Patting his sleek neck, she nudged him into a trot and then a gallop. The smooth bunching of the steed’s muscles under her reminded her of Connor’s strength and size as he came over her, his thick thighs spreading hers to make room for him. Just one night, that’s all he’d given her so far, and she was hooked. No, that wasn’t true, she admitted as Galahad took her over the first fence with effortless agility. Spying on Connor and his date that morning at his barn had sealed her fate. Ever since then, she had wanted no one but him in her bed, no matter how hard she’d tried to move on with someone else.
Now that she had what she’d craved for so long, she prayed he wouldn’t find an excuse to take it from her.
By the time dawn broke on the horizon with a glowing yellow-orange sliver Monday morning, Tamara woke up grateful Connor had chosen to return to his place yesterday morning. He’d surprised her by showing up Saturday and suggesting they stay in instead of going to the club. Just like when she’d been a teenager, they made popcorn and watched a movie. Unlike those times, as soon as Amy left for Jason’s, he’d stripped her and taken her on the floor, then bent over the couch and again in her bed where he had insisted, she ride him for a change. And she’d loved every second of his rough, demanding possession even though her body ached from the unaccustomed activity all day yesterday.
He’d called yesterday, but a problem with a well had kept him tied up until late and she spent most of the day helping to repair a line of fencing someone knocked down the night before. Jason guessed kids had likely been out causing trouble, drinking and driving through the fields without paying attention. Whoever they’d been, they’d managed to destroy yards of fencing along one side of their most used pasture during this time of year. Between rounding up the escaped cattle and repair work, she’d been exhausted last night, but had still missed him wrapped around her.
Because she was on uneven footing over whether his change of heart would last, she refrained from mentioning the downed fence when he’d asked how her day was going. He was expert at finding things to worry about her on his own, and there wasn’t anything he could do about reckless kids causing damage. After a quick shower and cup of coffee, she drove into the clinic, eager to see him again even if it would be for his last therapy appointment. Maybe they could meet up for lunch on the days she worked at the clinic, she thought as she parked and entered the therapy room. When he arrived a few minutes later, her heart thudded and her body throbbed as if she hadn’t seen him in weeks instead of one day and she knew if he ended up regretting their intimacy, it would hurt worse than any other painful experience of her life.
Connor didn’t care for change in his life. He liked the way things were and had never desired a shake-up in the status quo. Why mess with a good thing? But he knew he was in for a big one when he’d found himself missing Tam’s soft, toned body curled against his last night after spending the two previous nights in her bed. As he entered the physical therapy room, she looked up at him with the same vulnerable, insecure expression she’d worn when her father had arrived at the fair riding ring to pick her up all those years ago, the same expression she couldn’t hide the other morning following their first night together. A tight clutch gripped his chest and a surge of encompassing warmth spread through his body. It had always been his job to see to her needs, whatever they were, and it was both a heady and scary feeling to discover the idea of change appealed to him now because it was Tam the change revolved around.
He still harbored reservations about entering this new phase of their relationship – old habits were difficult to set aside in just one weekend – but damned if he didn’t find himself wanting to explore where these newfound, expanded feelings would take them, starting with easing the look of uncertainty on her expressive face.
“Good morning, little one,” he greeted her, hanging up his hat as she returned his smile.
“Hey.” Coming around her desk, he could see her pulse flutter in her neck as her look changed to one he was hard-pressed to ignore.
“Careful, Tamara,” Connor warned with emphasis on her full name. “You’re the one who doesn’t want me placing you in a compromising position here at work.”
She giggled and his grin widened. “I can’t help it. You’ve turned me into a hussy. I missed you yesterday.”
Running his fingers down her flushed cheek, he was relieved to see the return of her confidence as he leaned down and brushed her mouth with his. “I missed you, too. Now,” stepping back from temptation, he asked, “what torture are you planning for me today? And remember, I have ways of getting even.”
“I like the ways you torture me,” Tamara admitted, leading him to the raised mat. “Sit down and I’ll check your progress. I’m already pretty sure you can use it as much as you want, so long as you don’t overdo.” The look he gave her had her shaking her head with a rueful sigh. “I know, you’ve already been doing as much as you want, so I don’t know why I even bother.”
“Because you know me,” Connor returned, enjoying her hands on him any way he could get them. “Were you and Amy able to spend time together yesterday?”
She hesitated and then said, “Some. We’re still shorthanded, so I’ve been helping out as much as I can when I’m not here.”
“I thought Jason had a few prospects for hiring.”
“He does, and I think he’s contacting someone today, so that will help. Our herd is down, with the ones we just sold at market and the stolen cattle, so the work’s been doable. I hear the authorities have caught the rest of the thieves.”
“Just the other day. They also located several head they hadn’t disposed of yet. It’s the same gang that worked out of Wyoming last year, so there are a lot of ranchers breathing a sigh of relief now.” She released his arm and he stood, itching to put his hands on her. Too bad he couldn’t indulge himself here. “Come early to the barbeque next Saturday and, if you’re interested, I’ll show you a few calves I can give you.”
Her mouth tightened and those gray eyes flashed, a stubborn reaction he expected to follow his offer. “You mean you’ll sell them to me, right?”
“Sure, sweetie, whatever you say.” Her glare went to slits, but before she could snap at him for calling her sweetie again, he asked, “Am I good to go, then?” Rotating his shoulder, he gave her one of his most endearing grins.
Tamara smacked his arm, her lips twitching. “Go, and don’t call me sweetie.”
Connor strolled out whistling even though he still worried taking Tam to his bed would end up being another mistake, and he couldn’t risk losing her again. The years she’d kept herself from him had been the most difficult of his life. The next time he screwed up she might not forgive him and a life without Tam in it wasn’t worth thinking about. God forbid if taking this step ever interfered with his need to always see to her happiness and safety.
Chapter 11
“No, absolutely not, Jeremy.” Tamara tightened her hand on the phone as she tried her best to keep calm. Telling herself she’d done wrong by her ex wasn’t
working any longer. She needed to get him to move on. “I told you last week when you showed up uninvited I didn’t want to see you. Do not come back. Why haven’t you returned to Boise?” She made sure her frustration level came through loud and clear.
“I don’t understand why you keep choosing that place, with all its problems, over the much easier life I can offer you. That just doesn’t make sense, baby.”
Jeremy’s own annoyance bled through the line, which worked to further irk her. She now realized what a mistake it had been to mention the problems plaguing the ranch this week. At first, she’d used the early morning call from the sheriff telling them their cattle had gotten loose and were wandering along the highway and the second episode with that damn raccoon getting into the stable and going right for Lady’s stall to terrify the poor mare as an excuse not to meet up with Jeremy to talk. But this morning, when she and Amy had discovered the new bag of pelleted horse feed she’d just picked up had been bug infested, put her in no mood to deal with his continued obstinance, regardless of her guilt over their relationship.
“I don’t know how I can be any clearer, Jeremy. I love this ranch, despite the problems that go with the territory. I’ve apologized for our split so many times, I can’t think of another way to say it. We’re through, I am not coming back, neither to Boise nor to you. Please, go home and move on with your life and do not contact me again, for any reason. For the last time, goodbye.”
She hung up before he could say anything else, tears pricking her eyes. From his behavior this week, no one would believe he was a nice guy, one who didn’t deserve a woman whose feelings were lukewarm, at best. It hadn’t been easy, but she’d kept her troubles with her ex and the extra work around the ranch from mishaps that kept popping up from Connor. Even though they’d gotten together every day this past week and he’d shown her how inventive he could be in carving out time and a place for a quickie that left her shaking with satisfaction in more ways than one, their relationship was still too new and fragile to burden it with problems she was perfectly capable of handling on her own.
