Mangled Hearts

by Felicia Tatum

  I stumbled in my office building, barely hearing Zander shout his greeting as I passed. I collapsed in my swirly chair, kicking my shoes off, and spreading my papers in front of me. I glanced through the “while you were out” notes Zander had piled on my desk, groaning at all the people that demanded my attention today. I switched on my computer, checking my emails to see if Cade had a court date yet. He’d been in trouble before, I remembered it, but I wasn’t sure if he was legal when it happened. He may be able to get out of this with minimal punishment.

  I logged my notes, adding them to folder I’d created for his case. After catching up on all I could for Cade, I began on the Archuleta case. Mr. Phillips had left me a message, saying the court date began tomorrow and he needed a few more bits of information for the arguing lawyer to take with him. I buried myself in the research, skipping lunch since I’d gotten in the office so late. I somehow had managed to keep my mind on minimal thoughts of Cade, which wasn’t an easy task for me. When his face had been mere inches from mine, I couldn’t help but remember the first time he’d kissed me. My first kiss ever.

  9 years prior-March

  I’d finally gotten my license and was allowed to drive my mom’s old car to school. It wasn’t much to look at, but it beat taking two busses every day. Since I got bored a lot (I somehow managed to finish all my school work and ended up with no homework. Every single day.) I would drive around town and see if there was anything to get into, or anyone to talk to. That’s what teenagers did, right?

  It was a beautiful spring day with the sun shining brightly and the just a few clouds decorating the sky. The trees and flowers were in full bloom, giving everything a fresh feel and smell. I rolled down the windows, breathing the fresh air deep in my lungs. I’d made it through half the town when I saw him. He leaned against his vehicle, hands deep in pockets, and his mind lost in thought. His boot trailed a circle in the dirt. When the light turned green, I pulled the car to a stop behind him, smiling and cocking my head in question. He strutted forward, a delighted smile on his face and gleam in his eyes.

  “Francesca? What are you doing?” he asked, leaning down where his arm rested on my window seal and his face was no more than 5 inches from mine.

  “I was just out and about, saw you standing there. Everything ok?” I asked, tucking a stray hair behind my ear.

  He smiled brightly, “My car isn’t working at the moment. My dad has to come get it.”

  “Oh, that’s awful,” I said, thinking about my next move. I did something I didn’t even think I could. “Do you want a ride somewhere?” I questioned hopefully. I wanted to spend some time with him alone. We hadn’t since the day we skipped school, and just talking to him in the halls wasn’t enough. Now that I drove everywhere, I didn’t get to see him at the bus stop either. My heart sped up in anticipation.

  He looked at me, his mind reeling. I could almost see the wheels turning. “Let’s ride around and see if there’s anything to do,” he suggested, jogging around to the passenger door. He slid in, his face beaming with excitement.

  I just prayed I wouldn’t wreck the car in his presence.

  “So, what’s up?” he asked, snapping the seat belt buckle.

  “Not much,” I said, glancing at him for a moment. “I got bored with just my sister to talk to, so I came out to town.”

  “How old is your sister?” he asked.

  “Thirteen. She’ll be coming to high school next year. Yay,” I said, not at all excited. I threw my arm up, mocking a happy wave.

  He laughed, “It’s not as bad as you’d think. My brother, Cason, came this year. Me a senior and him a freshman, I was worried. But he’s ended up more popular than I am, so it’s all good.”

  I giggled, “I doubt that,” I said, turning the car onto a back road.

  “Oh, I know where we can go,” he said, moving swiftly in his seat.

  I grabbed my heart, “You startled me. I’ve only been driving a few months. No. Sudden. Movements. Cade.” I said, glaring at him out of the corner of my eye.

  He stifled a laugh, his eyes growing wide. He reached out, his hand rubbing my thigh. “Sorry,” he said, gently. He looked forward, not moving his ever growing warm hand, “turn right on the next road,” he instructed.

  I did as he told me, my mind not breaking away from his hand caressing my knee. He killed me inside every time he did that. He drove me crazy in ways I didn’t know were possible. I searched my surroundings, not seeing a business anywhere in site. Or even any homes. “Where are we going?” I inquired.

  He squeezed my knee and released his grip. “Up ahead, pull into that gravel area.i ”

  I did as I was told, my curiosity going wild. I parked the car, turning to him for answers. He simply smiled and got out of the car. I followed, hot on his trail. “Cade…” I said, my stomach gripping in knots. I trusted him…but I couldn’t help but think of every single scary story I had watched or read. You never go in the woods with a boy. Ever.

  He must have sensed my apprehension, because he reached out and took my hand in his. Our fingers interlocked and sparks shot up my arm and straight to my heart. It fluttered in excitement and my uneasiness floated away with the slight breeze. We were surrounded in trees, and looked to be heading to more. I gingerly stepped over stumps and rocks, determined to not fall and embarrass myself this time. The trees were coming to life, swaying in the wind. It seemed like they were waving to us as we passed. The silence surrounded us, making me highly aware that I was in the woods alone with the one and only Cade Kelling.

  “Just up here, there’s something I want you to see,” he said, smiling and stepping up to lead me.

  My heart skipped a beat and I quickened my pace. We came to a clearing overlooking a huge bluff. The rocks were jacked and aged, but so beautiful. There was a tiny guard rail that I assumed was to ensure no one fell off the edge, but I didn’t see that helping much. We stopped at a huge boulder and he pulled me down to sit with him. Now that I was so close, I could smell the faint scent of alcohol.

  “Have you been drinking?” I asked, nonchalantly.

  His smile disappeared and he looked down, disappointed. “Yeah…I just had a few,” he admitted.

  I’d heard the rumors that he drank and did drugs, but he’d never said anything to me. I didn’t pry, figuring he would tell me if he wanted me to know. I didn’t say anything, only waited for him to continue.

  “Francesca…I’m sorry. You deserve so much better than me. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m just a loser that can’t stop drinking or getting into drugs at parties,” he looked at me, desperation in his eyes. “Please, tell me to go away.”

  “I can’t. I drove you here,” I said, trying to lighten the mood.

  He closed his eyes, “You know what I mean.”

  “I can’t,” I whispered.

  He put his hand on my face, caressing my cheek. “You’re so beautiful and you don’t even know it. Those girls that are mean to you…they’ve broken your self-esteem. I wish you could see you the way I do. A gorgeous girl with the most amazing brown eyes I’ve ever seen.”

  I gasped as he leaned his head forward. I’d never been kissed before and I had no idea what to do. Yes, sixteen years old and never had a boy interested enough to kiss me. And he thought he was a loser. His lips took mine, and fireworks exploded all around me. The sensation of Cade’s lips moving against mine sent an army of butterflies to my stomach. His hand moved up to my hair, pulling me closer. I gently moved my lips in the way he did, growing nervous from my inexperience. I tore myself from him, turning my head away to hide my embarrassment.

  “What…,” he said, slightly out of breath.

  “I’m sorry, I’ve never kissed before,” I mumbled.

  “You’ve never been kissed?” he prodded gently.

  I shook my head no.

  He grabbed my chin, turning my face to look at him. “Francesca, I can’t believe
that. That was an amazing kiss. You are an amazing kisser,” he said, smiling and pushing my hair out of my face.

  I could only smile back. My mouth wouldn’t work because my mind was in overdrive. I’d just had my first kiss…with the boy I may very well be falling in love with.

  Present Day

  The shrill sound of the office intercom broke me from my memories. I pushed the flashing red button, “Yes?”

  Zanders deep and powerful voice filled my office, “Francesca, Mr. Kelling just called and left a message for you. He wanted me to tell you that the situation is taken care of, everything is as it’s supposed to be, and he will meet you at the appointed time.”

  I sat silently. Cade had called my office. I don’t know why I was surprised. Or maybe I did…he had never really been the “call and let me know things” type of guy. He’d stood me up on many occasions in our past, but something seemed different this time.

  “Francesca?” Zander inquired.

  “Oh, sorry, Zan. I wrote it down. Thanks so much.”

  “Welcome, talk to you later,” he said cheerfully, cutting the connection.

  I couldn’t let myself think this time was different. It couldn’t be different. Things would never be the same after everything we’d been through. I couldn’t let myself get lost in my fairytale longings. Sighing heavily in frustration, I tore my mind from my silky hair I wanted to just run my fingers through over and over, and his soulful eyes that penetrated my soul every time I looked into them. I had to work on the Archuleta case.

  And I did the rest of the afternoon.