“Then what is it, Mara?”
“I just have to know… why does it matter to you? Why does whoever I spent time with matter so much?”
She was really digging into my heart. Really putting me up against a wall to answer questions that I would never answer. Not unless it was Penelope or Belle.
I flicked my cigarette out the car window and reached for her hand. I lifted her wrist and then put my other hand against her hand. I interlocked my fingers to hers.
I gritted my teeth.
“I wanted to break your heart, doll,” I whispered. “Maybe I still do. Just to feel something for myself. And you’re doing it to me instead. You’re driving my mind a little crazy. And in a way I want to know what you’re capable of. It fucking amazes me.”
Mara blinked fast like she was going to cry.
She took her hand from mine and opened the car door.
“You leaving, doll?” I asked.
“I’m going to walk on the beach,” she said. “And whoever wants to listen to me talk can.”
She shut the door and walked toward the sand.
Again, she was testing me. Pushing at me. Fucking with me.
I could have put the car into reverse and left her ass right there.
To walk alone with her secrets, truths, past… and future.
I opened the car door and stood up.
I pushed my sleeves up and slammed the door.
I was pissed at myself.
Because I knew in my heart that I was her future.
And she was mine.
* * *
She did the cliché girl thing down at the water. And I usually hated it so much. But when Mara took her shoes off and carried them so the water would rush over her feet, I liked it.
“Les just knew how to pursue me to make it exciting,” she said. “And it was never real or serious. I didn’t fall for the guy or anything. I knew whatever happened it was going to be a disaster. But I walked right into it anyway. I couldn’t stop myself from doing it.”
Mara looked at me.
I kept a poker face. Not wanting to give anything away to Mara.
Yet in the back of my mind I was screaming at myself
Hil had figured out who the pill guy was. Ash wanted to make a move. And I was usually the one already there. I should have already gotten my hands on Charger and broke all of his fingers. Fuck whoever was in control of him. This was BFH. This was my place to protect.
And yet I wasn’t even near BFH.
I was on a different beach in a different place.
Worried about the story of Mara cheating on Adam.
Like any of that shit pertained to my fucking life.
“Keep going, doll,” I said. “I’m still walking with you.”
“Where was it all going to go?” Mara asked. She tucked her hair behind her ear as the beach breeze fought back at her. “Adam tried so hard to be tough. And part of being tough is having more than one girlfriend.”
“So kicking his ass was a smart decision,” I said.
“I don’t know if he did anything, Uly. Okay? I know what he said to me was wrong. And mean. And nasty. A couple of his friends used to make fun of me for…”
She shrugged her shoulders and looked down.
That pissed me off.
“We’d go to parties and there would be these whores walking around in tight tops, spilling all over the place. One time I heard someone ask him when he was going to find a real girl. And everything just kept changing and getting meaner. Getting worse. I kind of felt trapped wherever I went. I started going with Mom to your mother’s house. She was always tired and I could see her reaching a breaking point. Stressed out, I mean.”
“Because of my mother,” I said.
“Because of everything,” she said. “The thing was… Les gave me attention. I stupidly said something about not feeling pretty enough. He told me I was. He didn’t seem to care about the size of my chest. And I knew it was wrong to talk to him and I knew it was wrong when he wanted to hang out. But I also found out Adam was going to a party and made sure to make it known I wasn’t allowed to know. Ask me how I found out…”
“How did you find out, doll?”
“Les,” she said. “Some of the Brooks Crest guys were going. He was actually going too. But not before seeing me. It was that messy, Uly. That crazy. And I ended up in a car with him. We cruised around the area and he found somewhere to park.”
Mara paused.
She looked down.
The jealousy inside me raged. Harder than when I found out about Penelope and Hil. Harder than when I found out about Belle and Ash.
I hooked my pinky finger to hers and squeezed three times.
“Nothing happened like you’re thinking though,” she said. “That’s the sad part.”
“Sad?”
“Because me letting Les make a move was enough to crush my own soul. I knew Adam was at a party. And I knew what his boys wanted him to do. I knew everything he said to me and about me was wrong and mean. But I didn’t do anything about it. At least the right way. And I put myself in that position where Les thought he had me.”
“What happened, Mara?”
“He touched my face. Said some sappy stuff. Leaned in for a kiss and paused halfway. So he could grin and look cool and sexy. And I lost myself for a second, I met him halfway. Our lips barely touched before I pulled away and wiped my lips and was ready to burst into tears. Les laughed at me. He clapped his hands and started asking if I was a virgin. It was uncomfortable and he said he had no time to waste on me. So he took me back to my car and that was that. I never heard from him again. I never saw him again. But he went right to that party and told Adam everything. But he said it in a way that made it sound as though a lot more happened.”
“Typical fucking BC bullshit,” I said.
“Yeah. And that’s where everything blew up even more. I tried to be honest with Adam but it was too late. Which I understood.”
I hurried to block Mara’s path. My hands touched her waist. “Fuck that, doll. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Yes I did. Don’t put me on a pedestal, Uly.”
“I’m not. That guy deserved to have his face busted open.”
“You don’t regret it anymore?”
“I never regretted it… I just wanted to hear your story.”
“Because you’re afraid I’d do it to you?”
“We’re not together, doll.”
“We’re rebounding,” she said. “That’s right.”
“He had no right to say what he said to you. Those texts were mean.”
“I know.”
“But you thought you deserved it.”
“Maybe. I guess. Just kind of fits in with the rest of my life.”
I moved my hands from her waist to her face. “That’s where you’re way off, Mara. You don’t deserve that, ever.”
“And what if I end up in some other guy’s car, kissing him?” she asked. “What if that’s my thing to do?”
I curled my lip. “You only ended up with that asshole from BC because you thought he made you feel pretty. I never have to worry about that.”
“Why not?”
I pulled Mara closer and kissed her.
She tasted like coffee and cinnamon.
I licked my lips after kissing her.
“Because from here on out, I’m going to be the one who makes you feel pretty.”
Chapter 12
We both needed some sleep. I let Them and Belle know I needed to take the day to just be away from things. I knew the hell that was going to kick up. And honestly, if Hil and Ash wanted to go out on their own and start a war with Charger and his crew, then that was on Them. I’d get dragged into it, sure, but whatever. I’d deal with that some other time.
Mara dozed off in my car, cuddled up on the passenger seat, her head against the window, looking too good for my own good as I pulled down the beach road to get to my mother’s beach house.
The thought of Mara getting close with someone from BC bothered me worse than her being with that Adam guy. BC was no joke and anyone who got close to anyone from there always ended up hurt. I had heard the rumors and stories about Barr and his girl Mel. They were both tied to BC but I wasn’t sure what was real or not. What I did know was that if you bumped up too close to Mac or any of the other guys, things would get bad. And that bad could become deadly.
It amazed me that there was a whole other side to Mara.
All I ever knew her as was Paula’s dorky daughter.
That was it.
She’d wander around the beach house, in awe of the size, the beach, and the fact that my mother was rich. Then she’d hide in a room or hide out on the front porch with her books and music and just keep to herself. I only ever messed with her just to kill time and have a little fun.
But now…
How the fuck did this happen?
I was too tired to answer my own question.
I parked the car and reached for Mara’s shoulder.
“Hey, doll,” I said. “We’re home. Let’s get some sleep.”
She popped up and gasped for a breath.
Her green eyes shone at me, blinking fast.
She took a deep breath.
We snuck into the house together as though we were going to get in trouble for bailing on class.
We probably were going to get in trouble… but whatever.
Her car had been parked outside the entire time.
And now my car was there.
And it was safe to assume that with all the advanced classes we both had been taking, one day off wasn’t going to hurt anyone.
Fuck, I wasn’t even planning on doing anything with all the shit I had been taking. I just did it for the sake of… what?
To make Lake happy? To make my dead father happy?
Again, I was too tired to answer the questions or really give a shit.
I walked Mara down to the guest bedroom that I guess we both could have considered to be hers.
She opened the door and shuffled a couple feet forward and then looked back at me.
“Don’t make it weird, Uly,” she said.
“I’m not,” I said. “Shoot me a text when you’re awake, doll.”
Mara rolled her eyes. She reached back and grabbed my shirt and my necklaces.
She pulled and I resisted.
“Uly.”
“If I step over this line, Mara, that’s it,” I said.
“What’s it?”
“You’re mine. All mine. And whatever comes with that.”
“I just want some sleep,” she said. “And I don’t want to be alone.”
“That’s one hell of a way to start a relationship, doll,” I said.
I stepped into the bedroom and shut the door and locked it.
The lights were off but the sunlight pushed through the dark curtains.
It was cozy though.
And it didn’t hurt to follow Mara to bed.
She released her hold on my shirt and dove head first into the bed.
She kicked her way under the covers and let out a groan.
Fuck, she was adorable when she was this tired.
I got on the bed, over the covers and she looked at me and smiled as she got closer to me.
I put my arm around her and held her.
She rested her head on my chest and sighed.
“So how many guys have you jumped into bed with like this, doll?” I asked. “Promising a relationship, only looking for sleep. You’re dirty.”
Mara laughed. “I’m the dirty one? How many girls have you jumped into bed like this, Uly? Flirting and giving hints that maybe you like someone but you know you just want to get them between the sheets. Then it’s all over.”
“Not with you, doll.”
Mara lifted her head. “That’s because we haven’t…”
Her cheeks blushed.
I grinned.
She shut her eyes. “I want to hate you so much right now.”
“I know,” I said. “But you can’t. Because you know I’m right about everything.”
“And what’s everything?”
“Just everything, doll.”
Mara put her head back down and after just two deep breaths, she was out cold.
I held her and realized I had only ever done this one other time in my life.
Held someone while they slept. Without the need or intention of anything else happening. Just to be there because I felt something so fucking strong that it was impossible to resist.
Penelope.
But even that wasn’t what this felt like.
With Penelope, it was like I was chasing her with my tongue wagging, knowing damn well she was just going to crush my heart. But I was tough enough to take it and move on.
With Mara… I wanted to protect her. I wanted to keep her safe from everything bad in her life. Where she lived. The people she had to deal with. Any skeletons that existed with her mother and father. I wanted to protect her from my mother. Fuck, I wanted to protect her from my life. From Hil. From Ash. And even from Belle.
A part of me wanted to scoop Mara up and just take off together.
I put my head back and shut my eyes.
I fell asleep with Mara on my chest.
There was a sense of peace I hadn’t felt in a long time.
And peace that only existed between fights.
* * *
I woke to the sound of someone knocking at the bedroom door and Mara on her knees shaking me.
Her big green eyes were even bigger as she stared at me.
“Mara, are you feeling well?”
It was Paula.
“You can’t be here,” Mara whispered to me. “Don’t say a word.”
I blinked and stretched my neck.
Then I smiled.
Mara was afraid of getting caught with me.
I remembered Paula’s subtle warning to me… but oh well.
She could have fucking had an airplane fly over with a banner that said STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MARA and it wouldn’t have done a thing.
I knew what I wanted and I wasn’t afraid to get it.
But Mara… she was afraid.
“Uly,” she growled.
The knocking continued. “Mara?”
“I’m in here!” Mara yelled.
Duh, doll.
“I’m not feeling well,” she said. “I woke up with a bad headache. I didn’t sleep well.”
“Come out here so we can talk and I can check on you,” Paula said.
“I’ll be right out,” I said.
We both waited.
There was nothing else spoken from Paula.
“Are you going to tell her how sick you are, doll?” I asked. “You came down with a bad case Uly-itis?”
Mara punched my shoulder. “Shut up. My heart is pounding in my chest.”
“Mind if I feel?” I asked.
“Funny,” she said. “Get out.”
“What?”
“Get out, Uly. Sneak out of here. Now.”
I laughed. “Wait a second. You realize this is basically my house, right? Everything I’m in control of after my father’s death… and this beach house…”
“I don’t give a shit about that,” Mara said. “You have to get out of here now.”
“What’s going to happen? Let’s go out there. Hand in hand. Let’s shock them all.”
“My mother might kill you.”
“She loves me,” I said. “We already talked about this.”
I swung my legs off the bed.
Mara grabbed my shoulder. “You talked to her about us?”
I grinned. “I have to get out of here, doll. Remember?”
“I hate you,” Mara said. “So much.”
I leaned back and put my right hand to the back of her head and pulled her toward me.
As we kissed, Mara grabbed my shirt.
She broke the kiss and groaned.
&nbs
p; “You hate me even more,” I whispered.
“Get out,” she said.
I took that as her telling me she loved me. Or some version of love.
But not that it was real love.
I opened the bedroom door and snuck out.
I shook my head and laughed to myself.
Sneaking through this goddamn beach house.
I never thought that would happen.
I looked back and saw Mara with her head poking out of the bedroom.
Biting her bottom lip.
Yeah, maybe the idea of love wasn’t all that bad.
* * *
I smoked a cigarette on the front porch.
It was already afternoon.
The beauty of staying up all night and grabbing a sunrise breakfast and then going to sleep. It was almost the life of a rock star.
That made me laugh.
To think Hil and I could have really done something with that. Gone out on the road and toured and did whatever the hell we wanted to do.
Which we still could have done.
My phone buzzed with a text.
I was hoping it was Mara telling me we were in the clear to play stupid together.
But it was Belle.
U alive???? What’s going on w u?
I shook my head.
Just seeing her name, reading the text, hearing her voice… it rushed so much back. The fact that I was the one who saved Belle’s ass first on that beach. When Ryan and those douchebag baseball players tried messing with her. And now those same baseball players needed our help and were getting it.
Shit, we should have just let Aaron deal with the pill guy - Charger – himself. .
But that would only backfire on BFH. And us.
Them.
Belle texted again with two million question marks.
I gritted my teeth and flicked my cigarette away.
I’m fine, doll. Go enjoy Ash. Don’t worry about me.
Kind of a dickhead text to send, but it wasn’t a lie.
Belle came back with a middle finger emoji.
I knew it was coming.
I shrugged my shoulders and smiled.
I’m fine, doll. Needed a few minutes to breathe.
I knew what was coming next.
ULY (Bay Falls High - Them Book 1) Page 11
