I turn down into the driveway and roll my window down, upon reaching the keypad, I enter the code that allows us entry and drive all the way up to the Russian Manor as Enzo calls it. I park the car and the two of us get out. As I look at the house, I can see Dimitri brooding through the window. There is no way that he hasn't seen Enzo with me. I know that the second we walk through that door he's going to be asked million questions. I suppose I brought this on myself in a sense. If I was just honest with him up front, all of this could have been avoided. But I was too afraid to tell my big brother the truth. Even now, I still am.
“Relax, you and I, we totally have this.” Enzo tries to encourage me, but no matter how much he does, it doesn’t work. A nerve-wracking feeling takes over me, settling deep in the pit of my stomach. I feel like I want to vomit, and as we walk through these double doors, I feel even worse. The look on Dmitri’s face makes me feel like a traitor.
I have seen my brother angry many times, but never has it been like this. I knew that it was going to be bad. I knew from the very first time I kissed Enzo. But I continued, I kept going because he made me feel something that I've never felt before. He had the ability to make me feel treasured, like a beautiful object that should be tucked away in a jewelry box.
All my life I had felt one thing. I felt used, much like a whisk. A whisk is used to make baked goods, omelets, basically in most cooking scenarios. They’re also banged up, thrown around, dropped and used whenever they are needed. That is how I relate to a whisk, and sadly it is how most of the Russian Dolls feel. All of us have felt used in one way or another.
Dmitri starts cursing profanities at me in Russian. I look to Enzo and see the concerned look on his face. He doesn't speak Russian, so he doesn't know everything that Dmitri is saying to me right now. Even though Dimitri is a little rusty, I still get what he's trying to say. He's cursing me for bringing Enzo here, telling me that the only time he was allowed here was when Reed asked him for a favor. That this isn't a place for a lost little puppy to come whenever he feels like it. He asked me why he's here, and why of all people I would bring him back.
Instead of responding verbally, I reach my hand over to Enzo’s. Dmitri watches closely and I thought he couldn't get any angrier. I now know my brother understands why I brought him here.
Dmitri raises his voice, continuing to curse at me in Russian. He asked me if this is a joke, if I'm fucking with him in some sort of way. It hurts me deeply to think that he would view the way I feel for Enzo as a prank. I'm sure deep down he knows how hard this is for me. How difficult it is to bring this news to him. Even though Dimitri is my older brother, sometimes I feel that he acts more like our father would. I don't remember much of our father since he died when I was so young, but I feel like he treats me as a daughter and less of a sister.
I clear my throat and speak English, redirecting the language so that Enzo can understand us. “This is not a joke, or some sort of juvenile prank. I brought Enzo here today because I have kept a secret from both of you. I did not tell Enzo about my pregnancy, because I was afraid. I was terrified of how my brother would react to such news.”
“You were right to be afraid.” Dmitri roars out, shoving Enzo away from me. He rocks his fist back and as I know it, my nightmare is becoming a reality.
6
Never judge people by their past. People learn. People change. People move on.
-Unknown
Ksenia
“Seriously, brother?” Slasher hisses out, running up to Dmitri, he grabs him by the back of the throat and tosses him off of Enzo. I have my hands wrapped around my stomach, trying to not let the sight that just unfolded before my eyes upset me. But how can I not let it? If only Dmitri knew how hard this is for me, to come to him like this and bare my heart and soul. I’m finally telling him how I feel about someone who has been sincere and kind to me. It just so happens that he and Enzo, don’t get along. And when I say he and Enzo, I really mean Dmitri.
Dmitri turns his face towards me and his rage is still evident. “Of all the men you could be with, you chose him.” He changes from English to Russian quickly, not wanting Enzo or Slasher to hear what he’s saying. “He tried to fuck my woman, Ksenia. He’s nothing but a manwhore. Hell, I’ve seen it myself.”
Is this a game of who has fucked who? I snarl some truth back to him that maybe he doesn’t know. “Oh? Slasher fucked Jenna too, but I don’t see you giving Katya a hard time about that.”
His eyes shift from Slasher back to me, “That’s different. It was a different time, and scenario. It’s not like Katya would have listened to me anyway.”
I roll my eyes at what he’s saying. He can’t do this to me when he didn’t do it to Katya. “He is the father of my child and I will be with him if I want to. So just sit your ass back and watch, just like you did with Slasher and Katya.”
“Alright. I can tell you both are talking about me and Katya. What the hell is going on?” Slasher asks, bringing us back into the group conversation.
“I was reminding my dear brother, that he shouldn’t just have a problem with Enzo, but one with you as well.”
Slasher makes a confused face, looking between my brother and I. “Want to elaborate on that?”
“He’s angry because Enzo tried to fuck Jenna a few years ago. Well, shouldn’t he be angry with you too? You fucked Jenna many times.” I can tell Slasher is getting uncomfortable by the way that his face is starting to turn a bit red.
“We all have a past, Dmitri. If you’re pissed at Enzo, let it go. You and Jenna weren’t anything official when he was trying to get with her. She’s your ol’ lady and we know that. There’s no confusion and everyone has moved on to new people and better things.”
Dmitri glares at me, “I’ve always wanted something better for you. If anyone is supposed to have it, it is you.”
“Brother, you don’t get to make that decision. What is to say that I don’t have something better right now? I have not even explored most of my relationship because I have been hiding it, like a school girl hiding her boyfriend from her over-protective father. You haven’t even given me the chance.”
“What is all of this madness?” Katya asks from the top of the stairwell. “I can hear all of your raised voices from Pippa’s room.” She looks furious, her big, dark eyes almost look like they’re going to pop right out of her pretty head. “And why is Enzo here? Did something else happen?” At this point, Katya is coming down the stairwell.
Instead of telling Katya that I’m dating Enzo, because I think that’s where we’re headed, I spit the truth out. “You have been asking me who the father of my child is, and here he is.”
Katya’s mouth forms into a small ‘o’, and nods. “I’m not very surprised. He was my only guess, but I wasn’t going to confront you. It was your job to tell us, not for the family to dig it out of you.”
“First guess? Is this a joke?” Dmitri hisses.
I take the opportunity to walk over next to Enzo and look at his face. Dmitri packed a few good punches before Slasher tore him off. “Follow me, I want to put ice on your face before it begins to swell.” I say, taking his hand in mine.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Dmitri grumbles. I know he’s not happy, but he’s just going to have to accept this. I don’t think it will be today, but I know that it will happen eventually. Our family has been through a lot of heartache and pain. We were separated from one another for years, only recently discovering that our family grew by a little half-sister. Our family is the most important thing in our lives, and he will not sacrifice that.
I tug Enzo’s hand to further him along and hear Slasher sticking up for me. “Leave them be, Dmitri.”
I take Enzo into the kitchen and he takes a seat at the island. Quickly, I grab a Ziploc baggy and fill it with ice, taking a kitchen towel off the counter and wrap the bag of ice in it. “Are you okay?” Enzo hasn’t said much, which makes me think that this wasn’t the greatest idea.
I press the ice to his cheek and speak. “I am okay. I always knew that this was going to be difficult. We both did.” I murmur, staring into his eyes.
“It might be difficult, Ksenia, but I wouldn’t change any of this for the world. You were on my mind a lot the last few weeks, honestly, all of the damn time. If you didn’t come to me today, I would have come to you. I’ve learned a lot with all this shit going down, and we only get one life to live. I want to make sure that I’m living my life to the fullest, and that means having you in it, by my side.”
I blink a few times, unsure of how to feel. Enzo and I have had a few romps in the sack, combined with a pile of sexual energy and flirtatious banter. I will admit, I am falling for this man who I barely know, but that is what scares me. The fact that I do not know much about him. “How can you say such heartfelt things when we barely know one another?”
He chuckles, taking my hand in his own. “I know enough, Ksenia. I know your heart, and this beautiful soul of yours. You’re a rare innocence. The type of woman who can’t even hurt a fly. I know your character, and that is why I say these things. Maybe we do have a lot to learn about each other. I really don’t disagree with you when it comes to that, but if we didn’t have a connection, this,” He runs his hand over my stomach. “Would have never happened. I’m just refusing to sit back and act like you don’t have my heart on a string.”
“This isn’t going to be an easy road. Not for either of us.” I say, speaking my truth. What I did just a few minutes ago is scaring me beyond belief. I am worried that Dmitri will hate me for my decision, but I just hope that in time he will come to understand. I know that he knows Enzo is not a bad man. If he was, Reed would have never allowed him to be part of the MC. Dmitri is just having a hard time putting his personal feelings aside.
“Nothing in life is easy, Ksenia. If anyone knows that, it’s you. You have had one of the hardest journeys.” I want to laugh, because Enzo speaks to me like I am some special girl. I am not, though. I am just Ksenia Petrov, a Russian girl who has a lot of baggage. There is nothing special about me. I think I will keep him, though. I like that he thinks I am special because even if I don’t think I am, he makes me feel like I am.
7
Dance with the waves, move with the sea. Let the rhythm of the water set your soul free.
-Christy Ann Martine
Enzo
Ksenia made me keep ice on my face until I’m sure that frostbite was upon us. After that, we did something crazy, something that I would have never expected. We went to her bedroom. I thought that after what we just did, she’d want to be at the club and away from her home. I was even prepared to tell her that I felt like the safest place for her is here, and not the club. With everything that has happened, she can’t blame me for having reservations, or wanting to guard her safety.
Her bedroom is as light spirited as she is. A fluffy comforter covers her bed, with a cherry blossom design. She has matching gray sheets and her curtains are a soft pink that matches the color of the flowers. Her room basically looks like a presidential suite at a fancy hotel, except it’s customized to her likes.
“We can put the crib over here,” I tell her, walking next to the window. “The light will be nice when the sun rises in the morning.”
“Are you not going to ask me what I think?” She laughs, shaking her head back and forth. “How do you know I even want to stay here after our child is born?”
I’m going to be a dick right now, because I’m not going to ask. “We should stay here, where it’s safer. I want you both to have as much protection as possible, and Russian Manor is where it’s at.”
“We do not have guards surrounding us constantly, Enzo.”
He cackles, like what I have said is the most hysterical thing. “You have men posted outside the gates. You have this fucking awful looking “hidden” shed a few hundred feet away where I’ve seen men and women come out of when I was here. You have them posted around your house, Ksenia.”
She glares at me, cocking an eyebrow. “And yet these men and women were unable to even notice you sneaking on the grounds.” She knows that I hate she’s spit the truth out at me. I understand her point of view, though. She doesn’t want me to act like they are the best when in reality they’re nowhere close to it.
“I’m good at what I do.” I say to her. She isn’t going to sway my decision.
“While I agree, it doesn’t mean I want to stay here.” I can’t understand why she doesn’t want to be safe. She won’t be safe at the club, not yet at least. Not until I deal with Max and his dumb ass.
“Where do you want to stay?” I ask the million dollar question.
She bites her bottom lip and fidgets on her heel. “I want to be at the club. I liked living there, being with everyone. I felt included in a way that I have never felt before.”
“I’m not letting us stay there.” I grumble, trying to show her that I mean it in the way I’m crossing my arms. I’m not budging. She and our child will not be at the club, especially with all of the madness that’s going on right now.
“What gives you the right to think you are the one who will decide for me?” She snarkily replies, rolling her eyes. “I am not your slave girl. I am your equal and I demand to be treated as such.” Fuck. I realize now that I’ve struck a nerve with her and she has a right to be pissed. Ksenia has had a rough past, and even though I don’t know all of it, I know part of it.
To sum it up, she and her sister, Katya, were sold to sex traffickers as children. Their mother was a real piece of work. Dear old Mommy decided to sell the girls, thinking that it would keep her safe. Long story short, the Petrov’s found out not too long ago that their mother re-married into a royal mafia family. Their younger half-sister is Mariana Petran, formerly Mariana Vasile. The Vasile’s have been at the head of the Romanian Clans for hundreds of years. I can’t remember who discovered it first, but it was another way that they were blindsided.
I can’t imagine it, to have a mother who has put you through hell. You’d naturally want her to go through it too, but instead of living a life of misery, instead she had her feet up on some fancy ottoman, eating fancy cookies with her new family. It’s despicable. While Ksenia has never confessed how she feels about it to me, I know that she must be hurting in some sort of way.
What I do know, is mostly in regards to their sister, Mariana. I don’t know much about Ksenia’s past, but now I hope she will become more open with me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel a certain way. Just . . . Look at it from my perspective. Max is still free, which means that he is able to harm whomever he pleases. The club is his main target, and I just can’t lose you. I can’t bear to lose you, either of you. Not when we’re just getting to the point we want to be at, sweetheart.”
Ksenia’s eyes soften as she hears what I’m saying. “Do not ever make me feel like I am less than you.”
“I am sorry. It wasn’t my intention. All I want to do is keep you both safe.”
Ksenia walks away from me, towards her window and peers out of the curtains. “So, you must have a plan on how you will take Max down. Let me hear it.”
8
Being alone was never hard before I met you.
-Bridgett Devoue
Ksenia
“I’m going to Seattle to see my family.” What he says causes me to re-direct my attention to him. I’m no longer peering out of the window, watching the birds go from tree to tree in search of some yummy treats. Enzo has never mentioned his family to me whatsoever. I thought I was the one with family issues, but in reality, I think it is him.
“You have never told me much about them.” I keep it short and sweet, wondering if he will share.
“My mother remarried after she was widowed by my father. The man she remarried comes from a very specific family. You might have even heard of the business that he owns, but I’m not sure you would. Have you ever heard
of the Arcane?”
The name rings a bell, but I can’t place it, so I shrug and answer honestly. “Sounds familiar, but not enough for me to recall anything specific.”
“I’m sure Katya would probably know more, given who she was previously married to.” Katya was married to Sergei Kolosov, who is a Russian Arm’s dealer. “My family is very unique in a sense, almost as unique as yours. My step-father is more or less an assassin, and my half-brothers are as well. I plan on using their connections and pull to help track down Max and kill him. I’m tired of the way he is instilling fear into the club, and our loved ones. Until he is dead, I don’t think we will find any peace. We’ve already killed Rafael, and now it’s time for our last enemy to die.”
“Traitor, you mean.” I speak up, and he nods.
Max isn’t just an enemy. He’s a traitor of the club, who hid many secrets. In a sense, I think they should have been able to put all of this together . . . but he was so good at what he did. We had a snake in our shoe the entire time and didn’t even notice until a little while ago. Meanwhile, the damage he’s caused has been tremendous.
“I plan on flying home to Seattle to visit my family, and get their support in my effort.” Enzo stops speaking, but continues after a moment, looking like a great idea has popped in his head. “I would like for you to come with me and meet them. I haven’t seen my mother in years, and I know she would love to meet the mother of her future grandchild.”
“I . . . uh . . . what does Reed think of all this?” I change the subject, showing him that what he’s just said is making me uncomfortable.
“Reed doesn’t want me to use my resources. He thinks that they’re going to call a favor one day, and doesn’t want that to happen. I’ve already assured him that because I’m their family, they won’t ask for anything. At this point, I think he’s on board. Should we talk about the way you’re deflecting?”
Retribution: Skulls Renegade MC Book #10 Page 3
