by J. M. Dabney
“You doing okay?” Troy softly asked.
The question made him grin. “More than okay. I just wished I'd pulled my head out of my ass sooner.”
“No, I think this is just right. No what-ifs. I wouldn't change a thing.”
Troy was right, and he knew that he wasn't ready before.
“I'm going to go get a rag to clean you up. Just rest and I'll be right back.”
Troy did as he ordered and he rolled from the bed, then grabbed a pair of shorts from his dresser. He padded barefoot from the room and stopped at Bella's door. Peeking inside, he found her curled up in a tiny ball in the center of her bed. His daughter didn't sleep like a normal person. Bella was in constant movement. He debated tucking her back in but decided against it.
As soon as Bella's eyes opened, she'd be ready to go, and he and Troy needed sleep. He continued to the bathroom. Once there, he took a piss and then quickly cleaned himself up. He caught his reflection in the mirror. Those deep creases between his brows weren't as noticeable as they'd been. The angry man he saw himself as wasn't reflected at him. For the first time in his life, he was happy, and that had everything to do with Troy and Bella.
He had the family he'd always secretly longed for, and even as happiness bloomed in his chest there was still that edge of trepidation. The fear that it was all a dream or Troy would come to his senses—that they'd take Bella away. Nothing scared him more than losing what he had—his family. He could survive anything but that.
He shook off the thoughts with a violent shake of his head and dampened a rag. He made a detour to the kitchen to grab a few bottles of water and then returned to his bedroom. Troy made these cute snuffling sounds in his sleep. He set the bottles on the nightstand, and as gently as he could, he cleaned his man up. Before curling up with Troy, he threw the rag in the laundry basket.
He held Troy close as he let all the bullshit leave his mind. Focused on the present and left the rest to worry about later. He'd spent the evening loving on his man, and he'd wake up with Troy in his arms. He'd worry about tomorrow when it came.
11
Troy folded the last of Bella’s clothes and returned them to the basket. The last few months of dating Win were a bit surreal. He spent more time there—at Win’s apartment—than he did at home. He wondered if Win realized they were practically living together. Troy’s mouth tugged into a huge, sappy grin.
Okay, the place was small, yet it felt more like home than he’d thought it would. There was only one problem—he hated to harp on sex, but Win was still taking it extremely slow in the penetrative sex department. They got each other off plenty, and he loved every second of Win touching him, but when it came to anal Win just didn’t seem to be into it, which was fine. Yet he wanted to know what his man felt like inside him. Feel the stretch and pinch, have Win fuck him into the mattress. He hadn’t had sex much in his life. He needed an emotional connection with a partner before he could trust them with his body. He wanted that with Win.
Understanding, in theory, his man wanted to make sure Troy knew he was different and not simply another notch was extremely frustrating in practice. He knew Win wanted more, but he wasn’t in a hurry to push. Troy, for all his flirting, had a hard time fighting his inhibitions. They’d made the mutual agreement they were a couple—partners—although Troy’s tendency to overthink every little detail was holding him back. He hadn’t said the words yet, but he loved Win, and he was sure the stoic man felt the same. Men were a stubborn species, yet Win went above and beyond.
He picked up the basket from the kitchen table and walked through the apartment to Bella’s room. Troy had cleaned up earlier, tossed a few things in the crockpot for dinner and it was almost time to pick up Bella from daycare. Even though Brent was back to running the office and Troy was enjoying his last few weeks before going back to work, they decided Bella needed to play with other kids. If it had been solely up to Troy, she’d be spending all her time with him, but he knew it would be harder to get her back into a routine. Didn’t mean he had to like it though.
The peal of the doorbell dragged his attention away from putting away the laundry, and he headed quickly to the front door. He opened it with a smile, and he flinched at the older, severe woman on the other side. “Hi, can I help you?” he politely asked.
“I was looking for Mr. Sanchez.”
“Oh, he’s at work until 5, but should be home shortly after that.”
“Who are you?”
“Um, I’m Troy Canter,” he answered, but was a little confused by what appeared to be the start of an interrogation.
“The son of Mr. Sanchez’s boss.”
“Yes, ma’am, and you are?”
“I’m Mrs. Grover. I was checking in on Isabella.”
He remembered that name from when Win told him about the elderly woman that had dropped Bella off with him. He’d thought Win had exaggerated a bit when he described her, but she was just as he’d pictured her. She carried herself with the confidence of a woman who had carved out her place in the world and dared anyone to stand in her way.
“Come in. Can I get you some coffee or tea?” Troy stepped back to allow Mrs. Grover inside. He didn’t feel comfortable with her, even at a few inches shorter than him she still appeared to look down her nose at him. Her disapproval was palatable.
“Tea would be lovely.” She entered, and he closed the door behind her. She stopped in the small hallway where they’d started framing and hanging all of Bella’s milestones and the fun times. Mrs. Grover’s eyes scanned each photo.
“She seems happy.” She hesitated over the last word as if it pained her to say.
“We try, she gets Grandpa time every other weekend. It was once a month, but Dad demanded more. We go to the park a lot and the bookstore. We’re slowly buying out the kid’s section. All the employees already know her name.”
“Tell me about these photos.”
That was a demand if he’d ever heard one.
“Okay, that’s Bella and my dad, Brent. He didn’t want to take the picture because he was still recovering, but Bella had to have it taken with Grandpa.” Bella’s bright smile stared back at him, and she reached up and grabbed Brent’s cheeks squishing his too thin face until he made fish lips. “This one”—he pointed to Bella on her tiny pink bike—“is her first ride without the training wheels. I thought Win was going to have a heart attack. He swore she wasn’t ready.”
“I never saw her smile this much before.” Mrs. Grover’s tone turned almost wistful.
“We try. This one here”—he pointed to Miller and Bella on the last trip to get her nails done—“Miller, he’s my best friend, Bella batted her cute lashes and pouted until he took her to get her nails done, teddy bears instead of polka dots. One of us gets her there at least every couple of weeks.”
“What about this one?” Her thin finger pointed to the largest picture on the wall—it was of Win, Bella and him.
He remembered the day, the country fair, Bella had so much junk food she’d been sick later that night. Win whispered his apologies to her so many times Troy had lost count.
“That was about a month ago. She was so cute with her pigtails.” He reached out and almost stroked the images of his new family yet stopped himself when he caught Mrs. Grover’s staring at him. “The fair was in town, and Bella said she’d never been to one, so we took her on a Friday night, the whole group. The three of us along with Miller and Brent. She had way too much sugar.” He chuckled quietly. “Win felt so bad when her tummy was upset later. He just wanted her to have a great experience.”
“How about that tea?”
“Sure, straight ahead is the kitchen. I brought over an electric kettle so it shouldn’t take too long for the water to heat.”
He observed her darting glances around the kitchen before lowering herself slowly to one of the kitchen chairs. Troy quickly filled the kettle and turned it on.
“I was worried about how Isabella would settle into life with Mr. S
anchez. He seemed a bit panicked when I left.”
“Oh, he was, but he came to Brent and me for help. There were a few stumbles, nothing major. The usual new Dad things.”
“Like what?”
“Oh, grocery shopping was a nightmare, bachelor shopping is different from making sure you have fruit and veggies, juice boxes, snacks. It was a bit overwhelming. Her hair…he swears if he tightens her braid or ponytail too much he’s going to pull out her hair or hurt her.”
“Understandable things.”
“Exactly, it took him a few weeks to get into the routine, but since then he’s been amazing with her.” The kettle whistled, and he unplugged it, pulling down two mugs, tossing two teabags into them and then filling them with water. “Sugar or milk,” he asked.
“No, black is fine.”
He carried the steaming cups to the table, set them down and then took a seat across from her. “I have to pick Bella up from daycare in an hour or so, but you’re more than welcome to stay or come with me.”
“No, I believe I’ve seen enough, and I wouldn’t want to upset her with thinking I’ve come to take her away.”
“Was that your intention, because if so, I have to be honest, I’m not going to be very polite.”
“It was a thought I had. Troy, are you and Mr. Sanchez a couple?”
“I wouldn’t want to answer that without Win.”
“You just did. May I be frank, Troy?”
“I don’t think you’re one to mince words, Mrs. Grover,” he answered, and there was a quick tilt to the corners of her thin lips.
“Very true, call me Isabella.” The smile on her face seemed stressed as if it were a foreign action.
“In my day, I was quite the rebel, yet circumstance and decisions out of my control changed me. I loved Kendall, and her self-destructiveness may have been partly my fault.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I need to explain something, and I think you’ll understand my motive’s more than Mr. Sanchez.”
“Okay, I’m listening,”
“Kendall’s mother and I were best friends. When she passed away suddenly when Kendall was very young, I took over. She looked so much like her mother, every sadness she possessed I wanted to make go away, and I spoiled her. I didn’t realize it was a mistake until it was much too late and I saw a lot of myself in her as well. I was in love once, a very inappropriate man or at least my family thought so. He was very much like Winston, but I loved him dearly, and he loved me as well. He died in Vietnam, second tour. We’d even planned to marry when his time was up. After I was informed of his death, I never married or had children of my own.”
“I’m sorry, it must have been very lonely.”
“It was, and still is, to mourn for decades can make a person very bitter. I lied to Winston when I brought Bella here.”
“What did you lie about?”
“Kendall’s family did want her, but she would’ve been raised by nannies, without love. An obligation at most, the best boarding schools, to be honest, the best of everything in a materialistic sense. Kendall did leave Bella to Mr. Sanchez, and her will and the paperwork were ironclad, but the research I did on him, what I learned…” Mrs. Grover seemed to be searching for the right word.
“They would’ve taken her away easily.”
“Very much so. He’s a convicted felon, a tattooed, motorcycle riding felon, but from the day he left prison, he was a model citizen. Steady job, but he really must do something about this place. A home with a yard.”
He raised his cup to his mouth and took a sip, trying to conceal his amusement at the woman’s expression. The apartment may not be a penthouse, but it was clean and safe. Bella had her own room. Bella was happy, the surroundings didn’t make a home, but love did, and he and Win loved Bella more than anything. He set his mug down and wrapped both hands around it.
“I’ve had the same thoughts, but I was kind of waiting to see if we could find a place of our own one day soon.”
Mrs. Grover took a sip of her tea and shifted a bit on the hard chair. “I backed him up, made threats, possibly lied about a few things myself, in the end, I won.”
“That’s probably not a rare occurrence.”
“Being the only child, I’ve become accustomed to getting my way. I outlined the expense of caring for a child, which with their wealth wasn’t an issue, but even though they wanted her out of some sense of obligation, her parentage and skin tone worked effectively in my favor.”
The anger that Bella had been tossed aside for nothing more than the hue of her skin made his hands shake. “She’s a beautiful, intelligent, happy child…part Latina is not a curse.”
“Not in my eyes, but to a family that very much nurtures appearances of propriety it was.”
“Thank you.” Whether the woman was cold for reasons only she was aware or simply by her environment it didn’t matter. She’d gone to bat for Win and Bella.
“For what?”
“Giving Bella to Win and me, especially to Win. His parents turned their backs on him, so he’s been alone for a long time. Brent adopted him, as he tends to do, yet he kept himself back. Bella has made him happy. He finally has a family.”
“I don’t think Bella is the only one that makes him happy.”
“I really hope so. Did you want to stay and see Bella? I’ll explain to her that you’re just here for a visit.”
“No, as I said, I don’t want to upset her. Maybe at some point in the future when she’s older and more secure, we can prepare her for a visit from me. I don’t think she’s at that point yet.”
Troy silently agreed. “But one day soon, maybe we can plan something here or at Dad’s for you to visit. Her territory and all that.”
“I better get going, it’s almost time for you to pick up your daughter. Thank you, tell Mr…Win that I’m very happy this all worked out.”
“I will.” Troy stood and ushered Isabella to the door, and he quickly told her goodbye before watching her approach the limo she’d arrived in. An older gentleman probably about Mrs. Grover’s age quickly opened her door, and Troy smiled at the expression on the man’s face. If he wasn’t mistaken, her driver was a bit smitten with his employer.
He grabbed his keys from the table beside the door and stepped out of the apartment. Even with how well the visit went, he still wasn’t looking forward to telling Win about that. His man had a bigger worry streak than him, and that should be impossible. He had time enough for Win’s hysterics later, for right now he had to pick up his baby girl.
12
Win roughly pushed his fingers through his sweaty hair and paced. Mrs. Grover had come while he was at work, and she’d talked to Troy. The other man said it was a nice visit, but Win didn’t believe it. Kendall’s family was going to try to take away his daughter, but he’d just found her. Win wouldn’t survive losing her, and would Troy even stay after?
“What else did she say?” he demanded.
“Hey, hey, relax, breathe.”
Troy’s soothing voice normally helped him calm down, but it wasn’t working. His boyfriend’s slender arms twined around his waist and stopped his pacing. “I can’t lose her.”
“You’re not going to lose her, baby. From what she said, she went to bat for you. Actually made sure you got Bella. Everything is fine…nothing is falling apart. That beautiful little girl is yours, and only yours.”
“No, she’s not.” Win loved Troy, he hadn’t said it, yet neither had Troy, but he knew the man did. Being with Troy felt natural as if this was the person he was supposed to spend his life with. Part of him regretted waiting so long, for being afraid of taking that step, but the other side was happy it happened this way.
“Win, don’t,” Troy ordered.
“She’s ours,” Win whispered. He opened his eyes to find a teary gaze trained on him. “How many times do I have to say we’re a family before you believe it?”
“I’m a worrier, Win, always have b
een. I know we’ve had the talk, we explained things to Bella, but you’re still holding back. I can feel it, I hate to sound all whiny, but it makes me a little insecure. I’m not all that experienced or exciting. I’m a skinny kindergarten teacher with dreams of white picket fences, what is that?”
As Troy talked, the man stroked his back like a kid would rub a security blanket or stuffed animal. He didn’t like that he made Troy feel insecure. He'd thought he was doing the right thing, going in steps, and not rushing, but maybe it was more his fear than Troy’s getting the better of him.
“Troy, this is all my fault, I thought I was doing this right. I didn’t want you to feel like just another in a line, because that’s not how I see you. You’re the only one, the last. This, what’s happening between us, and us being Bella’s dads, it’s not what I’m used to. I’m really trying like hell not to repeat what I’ve done in the past.”
“You’re doing great with Bella.”
“What about with you?”
“Ignore me; it’s just my sexual frustration talking.”
Troy’s statement sounded jokingly enough, but he sensed that it wasn’t just a funny to break the tension.
“Oh…” Win started noticing the slim hands rubbing up and down his back, and the way Troy was molded to him.
Now that the panic of Mrs. Grover’s unexpected visit had passed, he was alone with Troy. He’d received an emergency call out just as he had started to clock out and had just made it home. Bella was already asleep. Troy took care of so much around the house, Bella, the cooking, and he was reaping all the benefits of having his man around. What do I have to offer Troy in return?
“I can practically see the wheels turning, what’s going on?”
“Am I fucking this up?”
“No, you're not fucking up. Don’t even think it. As frustrating as it is, I like the slow.”
“But?” Win knew there was a but.
“No, but…although…” The corner of Troy’s mouth turned upward into a flirty smirk. “I wouldn’t be averse to a little faster. We do already have the kid, and we’re practically living together.”
