The Inheritance
Page 18
As Kevin Olson spits sunflower husks at his face on the bus. Toby sitting there petrified and helpless. Afraid to acknowledge what is happening to him. Afraid he’ll cry if he does. The children around him laughing at the spectacle.
Faggot, faggot, faggot.
Toby traveling inward. He can’t protect his body so he teaches his mind to hide. Faggot, faggot, faggot.
And returning home to a poverty so crushing, he would sometimes go to school for days unwashed. How the boy seated next to him complained in front of the entire class that he could not concentrate because he could smell Toby’s stinking asshole.
Daily these assaults occurred. And daily he was told to pray. For his tormentors. For himself. He was told to pray for solace, pray for protection, pray for strength. Pray for the children who did that to him. Pray for those who called him a faggot.
Daily, Toby was sent unprotected into the world to be despised and abused at the hands of people far less worthy than he of God’s love yet far more certain of their right to an outsized share of it. Daily he was promised that God would protect him and daily it was proven that God would not.
This is the world to which Toby Darling feels compelled to return, not that he is an established, successful, yet no less lost young man. Because he knows he can never truly escape this place, his shame and humiliation, that he carries it within him wherever he goes and whatever he achieves.
Nor can he escape the pain of Adam, who was an orphan like him but, unlike him, was rescued.
And Eric, who only ever wanted to love him, something he knew Toby was never taught to accept or return.
And Leo –
And so, in that hotel room, Toby faces a choice: can he accept, could he forgive, does he heal … or does he burn himself and everything around him to the ground?
Heal or burn, those are his only choices.
Heal and grow. Heal and seek truth, dignity and fulfillment. Heal and build a life that is real.
Or burn it all – his memories, his past, his anger, his pain, and ultimately himself.
Heal or burn. Those are the only two options before him.
And so Toby does what his grandmother taught him, what until this moment he had forgotten how to do.
Toby crawls to the floor, gets on to his knees, and prays.
Toby prays for guidance. Toby prays for peace.
Toby asks God: show me how to love, teach me how to be loved.
Forgive my fear.
Forgive my pain.
Forgive my doubt.
God, please forgive me for being me.
Heal or burn, Toby. Heal or burn.
And he listens for an answer. He waits and he waits. And for the first time, Toby’s life feels too heavy a burden to carry.
And so in that room in that hotel in that town in Alabama, Toby finally looks at himself. And he sees who he is. And he knows that he has no choice.
Heal or burn, Toby, heal or burn.
And in that moment, Toby Darling gets an answer. Not the one that he expected, not the one he wants to hear. But an answer nonetheless, insistent and clear.
Toby Darling has to tell the truth. About himself. And not just to himself. But to the world. And in that moment, Toby Darling knows what he must do. He goes to his computer … and starts to write.
End of Act Two.
Act Three
Spring 2018
SCENE ONE
1. Henry and Walter
Young Man 3 and Young Man 4.
Young Man 3 I have a meeting in ten minutes.
Young Man 4 I’m sorry. Traffic was terrible.
Young Man 3 My secretary marked the places where they need your signature.
Young Man 3 holds out a contract and a pen. Young Man 4 hesitates.
Young Man 4 I don’t want to do this, Henry.
Young Man 3 We have been over this and over this.
Young Man 4 I’ve tried to be okay with this.
Young Man 3 Do you want to sell it, then?
Young Man 4 No. I want it to be what it has always been to us.
Young Man 3 That’s not possible.
Young Man 4 Then we should sell it.
Young Man 3 Fine.
Young Man 4 I’m going to stay in the city this weekend.
Young Man 3 My secretary can give you keys to the apartment.
Young Man 4 I’ll cook dinner.
Young Man 3 I have a dinner tonight.
Young Man 4 Then tomorrow.
Young Man 3 Maybe.
Young Man 4 turns to leave.
Young Man 3 If anything were to happen to me, you would be protected.
Young Man 4 Nothing is going to happen to you.
Young Man 3 You could sell it, live in it, leave it to whomever you choose.
Young Man 4 What am I supposed to do with a house three hours north of here and a partner who won’t step foot in it?
Young Man 3 You would own it. It’s a good investment.
Young Man 4 Henry, if you keep running – from this, from what happened there, from what is happening to our friends, to our community – you will never know peace.
Young Man 3 That is my decision.
Young Man 4 It affects me. If I’m going to spend my life with you.
Young Man 3 And that is your decision.
Young Man 6 Walter knew he would never leave him, that he could not imagine his life without Henry in it. He loved Henry Wilcox ferociously and was therefore willing to be hurt by him endlessly.
Young Man 4 takes up the pen and begins signing the documents.
Young Man 8 And with that, Henry’s house became Walter’s house, sold to him by Henry for one dollar.
End of Scene One.
SCENE TWO
1. Various Locations in Midtown
Spring, 2018.
Leo Leo wakes next to a man he doesn’t know in a room he doesn’t recognize in a bed he can’t remember lying down in.
Young Man 6 Panic seizes him as he searches his body for any signs of disorder.
Young Man 7 He checks for blood –
Leo (None.)
Young Man 2 For cuts –
Leo (A few.)
Young Man 4 For new scratches and for old scars –
Leo (Yeah, both.)
Young Man 6 He then goes about inspecting its internal condition:
Young Man 7 Head fuzzy and pounding –
Leo (Yeah, common.)
Young Man 2 Mouth stale and cottony –
Leo (Okay, normal.)
Young Man 4 Stomach empty –
Leo (Fuckin’ always.)
Young Man 3 Heart pounding –
Leo (More than usual.)
Young Man 8 Anus slick with lubricant –
Leo (Also normal.)
Young Man 2 Teeth … ah, the teeth.
Young Man 6 That’s a new development.
Young Man 2 They wobble at the slightest encounter with food –
Young Man 4 – which admittedly is a rare occurrence these days.
Leo He knows they’ll eventually fall out.
Young Man 8 If the malnutrition doesn’t get them, the meth certainly will.
Young Man 6 Meth.
Young Man 5 Crystal.
Young Man 4 Tina.
Young Man 2 A currency in a world he’s descended to, just as his body has become a currency.
Leo Does he sell his body to tweak or does tweaking cause him to sell his body?
Young Man 6 Chicken and egg, really.
Leo Ugh, the thought of food makes his stomach heave. He hasn’t eaten in … well, who knows what day it is?
Young Man 5 Leo stands and looks for his clothes, the clothes he’s been living in for weeks.
Young Man 3 They reek.
Leo But Leo knows that the real stench comes from him.
Young Man 4 Leo reaches into his jacket pocket and finds his sole possession – his battered paperback copy of Maurice.
Leo He can’t read it anymore because he
can’t make sense of the words.
Young Man 2 His malnourished, drug-addled brain is now just a simple processor of binary concepts: day/night,
Young Man 7 Sleep/wake –
Young Man 3 High/not high –
Leo Leo has forgotten how to read.
Young Man 6 Leo glances at the kitchen. The man’s wallet rests on the counter, tantalizingly unguarded.
Leo Leo approaches and inspects it.
Young Man 5 Multiple twenty-dollar bills blossom from the opening like the meat inside a shell or the fruit inside a husk.
Young Man 8 Shell.
Young Man 7 Husk.
Young Man 3 That is all he is now.
Leo But of all the things he’s become –
Young Man 8 Whore –
Young Man 7 Addict –
Young Man 3 Transmitter of plague –
Leo Is he also a thief?
Young Man 6 Take the money. You need it.
Leo Leo reaches for the wallet –
Young Man 8 – and his eyes land on a jar of peanut butter. He grabs it, making a beeline for the door –
Young Man 4 – not stopping until it closes behind him, a barrier between him and the money.
Young Man 8 Leo is not a thief.
Young Man 4 Then he looks down at the purloined jar in his hand and revises his assessment:
Leo Leo is not much of a thief.
Young Man 4 He steps out into the thin light.
Leo Morning or evening?
Young Man 4 Where is the sun?
Leo Over the Hudson.
Young Man 4 Evening, then.
Leo He turns toward the river with his dinner.
Young Man 4 Leo opens the jar of peanut butter.
Young Man 8 He digs his dirty, sex-smelling fingers into the jar, scooping up a giant mouthful and stuffing it into his gob.
Young Man 4 Pleasure instantly overtakes him.
Young Man 8 He even smiles.
Young Man 5 Even his unhappy childhood cannot erase the pleasures of peanut butter: the gentle touch of his mother’s hand on his shoulder, imploring him to eat his sandwich slower.
Young Man 2 His mother, who was the first person to visit her anger and frustrations on the boy.
Young Man 3 For being born.
Young Man 7 For requiring affection.
Young Man 6 For driving away boyfriend after boyfriend by his mere existence.
Young Man 5 And then, later, for attracting their attention.
Young Man 2 Leo wasn’t sure when he and his mother became competitors for the affections of these men. It was never something he initiated or sought. The trysts –
Young Man 4 No, the assaults.
Young Man 2 – occurred while his mother worked the dinner shift.
Young Man 4 They were violations, he knew.
Young Man 8 They certainly weren’t acts of love. Leo And yet he had begun to allow himself to believe they were.
Young Man 5 By the time he was fourteen, Leo grew flagrant, audacious. He realized his body was not to be traded away cheaply.
Leo The day his mother discovered Leo and her boyfriend deep into their rut, she kicked out the boyfriend and Leo as well.
Young Man 7 The man gave Leo forty dollars and his first case of chlamydia.
Young Man 3 A week later Leo was in New York.
Young Man 6 He was seventeen years old.
Leo And now here he is, three years later, eating peanut butter for dinner with no place to go and no one to go to. This is what his life has amounted to. And he thinks to himself: what will become of me? How much longer will I live? Do I even care to live anymore?
Young Man 4 He wonders what Forster might say about his current state.
Leo But then Leo remembers that E. M. Forster is dead. And all Leo has of him is one book.
Young Man 5 And, like Leo, that book has started to disintegrate.
Young Man 6 The only difference is that Maurice would be remembered and Leo would not.
Leo And, Leo thinks, if that is the case, what’s the point of all this suffering? Why go on if no one cares and no one ever will?
Young Man 4 Leo crosses Eighth Avenue –
Leo – and remembers that a hundred blocks north lies the George Washington Bridge –
Young Man 2 – the final resort for so many negations like himself.
Leo Leo turns north and heads toward the bridge, ready to write the end of his story.
Young Man 6 No, he keeps going east.
Young Man 5 Along 46th Street.
Young Man 3 To Toby’s theatre.
Leo No.
Young Man 4 Yes. That is what he does.
Leo No, he goes to the fucking bridge.
Young Man 4 Leo goes to Toby’s theatre.
Leo No, I can’t. Please.
Young Man 3 Leo turns in the direction of Toby’s theatre.
Young Man 8 Leo turns in the direction of Toby’s theatre.
Young Man 2 Leo turns in the direction of Toby’s theatre.
Leo PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME GO ON LIKE THIS!!
Young Man 4 Leo turns in the direction of Toby’s theatre to torture himself once more with Adam’s photo.
Leo To stare at Adam’s face.
Young Man 4 And to remember, for a moment, his life before Toby left him.
Leo That time that Leo was happy.
A moment, then:
Leo stares at Adam’s picture and sees how beautiful Adam is. And he knows how ugly he is. And Leo starts to cry. And he thinks once again about the bridge.
Young Man 5 And then a voice behind him:
Adam Are you okay? Do you need help?
Hey. What’s your name?
Leo I’m Leo.
Adam Hi Leo. I’m Adam.
Leo I know. Your name is Adam McDowell. And everybody loves you.
Adam Can I help you, Leo?
Leo Leo reaches out and touches Adam’s face. And he thinks, ‘If I looked like him, Toby would still love me.’
Adam Do you need help?
Leo Yeah. Help me.
Adam What do you need? Is there someone I can call for you?
Leo Eric.
Adam I’m sorry, what? I can’t hear you.
Leo Eric.
Adam Eric? Eric who, Leo?
Leo Eric.
Glass.
Adam Did you say ‘Eric Glass?’ You know Eric?
Leo Eric was kind to me.
Adam He was kind to me, too. Do you want me to call Eric for you, Leo?
Leo Yes.
Adam Okay, Leo. I’ll call him right away.
Leo starts to cry. His knees buckle and he wobbles to the ground. Adam catches him and eases him down.
Leo Please help me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Adam It’s okay, Leo. It’s okay.
Young Man 3 Two strangers kneeling on the dirty sidewalk, clinging to each other as one of them weeps, creating an obstruction in the path of the people heading toward the theatre to see Adam perform in Toby’s play. A performance that had made him a star and, on this night, a performance he would miss.
2. Adam Lucas McDowell
Eric Adam delivered Leo to Eric and Henry’s town house. Eric fed the young man –
Young Man 8 (Chicken broth and toast.)
Eric Gave him a shower –
Young Man 4 (Expensive soap, French shampoo.)
Eric He gave Leo a clean T-shirt and pajama bottoms –
Young Man 7 (J.Crew shirt, GAP pajamas.)
Eric He put Leo up in a guest room to sleep –
Young Man 6 (Thousand-thread-count bedsheets.)
Young Man 1 Eric and Adam, who had once meant so much to each other, caught up on each other’s lives.
Adam What will happen to him?
Eric I don’t know. I’ll take him to a doctor in the morning and we’ll see.
Adam I’m sorry to drop all this on you. Especially when we haven’t seen each other in so long.
Eri
c You did the right thing. I’ll take care of him.
He smiles at Adam.
Adam What?
Eric You’re all grown-up now.
Adam Oh. I’m just … You know. I think a lot about that summer we spent together. It feels like a lifetime ago. Showing me movies, giving me relationship advice. That time means more to me than you could ever know. I’m sorry that we lost touch. It’s my fault. I got –
Eric (with love) Famous.
Adam Busy. Could I – Could we have that friendship again? I didn’t realize until just now how much I missed you.
Eric Yes. Yes, of course, Adam. I would love that.
Adam You really are a remarkable man.
Eric No, I’m not remarkable.
Adam No, Eric: you are. How can you not know that?
Young Man 6 Eric Glass and Adam McDowell would never see each other again after that night.
Young Man 3 Their lives would move in separate directions.
Eric Eric had come into his life when Adam was most in need of his friendship and he left it once Adam was ready to become the man that he would inevitably be. Someone else needed Eric now and Adam had delivered him to his old friend. The debt had been repaid.
3. Henry and Eric’s Town House / A Hotel in Dubai
Young Man 3 Eric called Henry in Dubai.
Eric Something’s happened that you need to know about.
Henry Are you okay?
Eric I’m fine.
Henry What’s this about?
Eric It’s about Leo.
Silence from Henry.
Henry? Are you there?
Henry What about him?
Eric He’s asleep in our upstairs guest room.
Silence.
Henry Why?
Eric He’s been sleeping on the streets. He’s sick, he’s malnourished, and he’s deep in the throes of addiction. And he has an untreated HIV infection.
Silence.
Henry Has he come there to blackmail me?
Eric No, Henry, he’s come here for help.
Henry Where’s Toby in all of this?
Eric Disappeared the night of our wedding. Henry, he’s completely alone in the world.
Henry Well, ah, you should take him to a doctor.