Emma You’ve got to. If I’ve got to, you’ve got to. That’s fair.
Jamie looks back at her before he speaks. Raises his hand as if to touch her, even from a distance away. Can’t. Lowers it again. Turns away.
Jamie When I left Wandsworth. Which was the last place I was at. Before I went to Latchmere House. There was a photograph, on the wall of the gate, of a prisoner who’d just been released. He was hanging around. Outside the nick. Following the screws. He couldn’t leave it. Couldn’t cope without it. (Beat) Screws say to yer, when yer going, ‘See yer soon.’ (Beat) When I come out. Just stood there. Couldn’t move. Couldn’t move my legs.
Pause.
I was so tired. On the way up here. Like when yer bones get tired.
Pause.
I want you to forgive me for the things that I’ve done.
Emma To forgive you?
Jamie I want you to forgive me for the things that I’ve done.
Pause.
I want you to forgive me for the things that I’ve done.
Emma I know.
Jamie I want you to.
Emma I know.
Jamie I want you to.
Emma I don’t know if I can.
Jamie I never wanted to be separated from you. Not ever.
Emma I know.
Jamie I’ve wanted to see you every day. All the time.
Emma That isn’t my fault.
Jamie I wanted so many things for you.
Emma That doesn’t mean anything.
Jamie It does to me.
Emma But it doesn’t. Not really.
Jamie As I get older. All I want now is things for you. For you to be safe. For you to have money and to be safe. And all the things that you want. For you to get them. Tell me one thing.
Emma What?
Jamie Tell me one thing that you want.
Emma I can’t think.
Jamie Please tell me.
Emma I’d like to fly a plane.
Jamie I think that’s brilliant, that. That stops me breathing.
Pause. He goes to the window.
Fucking. It’s cold. Isn’t it?
Emma Yeah.
Jamie I should close the window.
He stands still for a bit. Then closes the window.
Very long pause. The two stand absolutely still.
Emma Can I go?
Jamie What?
Emma I want to go now.
Jamie Right.
He doesn’t look back at her.
Emma Mum’ll be wondering where I’ve got to.
Jamie Right.
Emma I’m not going to tell her.
Jamie Right. I loved her more than I loved you. And that’s …
A slight pause.
Sometimes I go out without a light for my cigarettes on purpose just so that I can ask somebody for a light. So that I can talk to them.
A longer pause.
Emma When are you going home, Jamie?
Jamie Tomorrow.
Emma Right. Back to Acton?
Jamie Yeah. (Beat. Looking away from her) I want to hold your soul. In my hands. Cup it.
Emma I don’t know what that means.
Jamie Would you like to see me again, one day? Would you like that, do you think?
Emma I don’t know.
Jamie You could come down to Gravesend if you wanted to. One time. Doesn’t need to be for a while.
Emma I don’t know.
Jamie Have you ever been to Margate? I could take you to Margate. Would you like to go to Margate?
Emma No. Maybe yeah. Probably not.
Pause.
They stand still for a while yet.
I should be going.
Jamie I know. Yeah. I’m sorry.
Emma Do I just close the door to behind me?
Jamie What?
Emma The latch, do I just pull it to behind me?
Jamie Yeah. You do. That’s. I won’t come down with you.
Emma No. I’m glad I’ve seen you.
Jamie pulls a scrap of card from his pocket and a pen and writes a phone number.
Jamie Here. This is the number of the garage where I work. Will you ring us one day? When you’re ready to?
Emma takes the number.
Long pause.
She goes to the door.
Emma Thank you. I’ll. Yeah. I’ll. Bye, Jamie.
Jamie Bye, love.
Emma leaves.
Jamie sits at the table. Goes to kick it over. Can’t.
Stares at it.
Four
Thursday 13 July 1983, 5.30 p.m.
Windmill Hill, Gravesend, Kent. A beautiful sunny day. Hot bright sky. There are the sounds of distant cars, birds.
Jamie Carris is eighteen. He is wearing work-clothes. Lynsey Sergeant is fifteen. She is wearing a school uniform. But only shirt, skirt, tie. Shirt sleeves rolled up. Shirt hanging out. Hair tied back off her face.
They lie on their backs, looking up at the clouds. He props his hand on his elbow, playing with his chest.
There is some time before they talk to one another.
Jamie starts to chuckle. Gets quite loud.
Lynsey Ssshhhh.
Jamie What?
Lynsey You. Calm down. It’s all right now. It’s quiet here. It’s good.
Pause.
She touches his arm, strokes it slightly, then points her hand up to one of the clouds.
That one looks like an old man’s face.
Jamie Where?
Lynsey There.
Jamie Oh yeah. With a beard.
Lynsey Ha!
Jamie Jimmy Hill.
Pause.
I don’t want to go work. Not now.
Lynsey Don’t then.
Jamie I so don’t want to.
Pause.
Jamie How long you got?
Lynsey Not long. They’ll start looking for us prob’ly. Are you sure you’re all right?
Jamie Yeah. Course. I’m glad you’re here. Thank you for coming.
Lynsey ’S all right. Psycho.
Pause.
Jamie She’s a stupid cow. She’s fucking mental. Just looks at us. I walked out.
Lynsey What was he doing?
Jamie She’s sat on top of him. Skirt hitched up her arse. Fat cunt. Eyes rolling back in his head. Gary Noolan, for fuck’s sake! I should go back and find him.
Lynsey Fuck off.
Jamie He’ll be in the Station Arms. Bet yer. Should go and glass the cunt.
Lynsey Don’t, Jamie. Serious.
Long pause.
Jamie I’m thirsty.
Lynsey I’m hot.
Jamie Yeah
Slight pause. Lynsey rolls over on her stomach to look at him. Jamie doesn’t look at her.
Lynsey Should take our tops off.
Jamie Yeah.
Lynsey Should do. No one’d see.
Jamie Psycho.
Lynsey Chicken.
Chicken impersonations. Jamie chuckles.
Jamie (cod hard guy) Shut it.
Long pause.
Jamie I like you. (Beat) You make us laugh.
Lynsey Listen to you!
Jamie What?
Lynsey (imitating him) ‘I like you. You make us laugh.’
She picks at the ground.
You think Matty’s dad knows? About your mum and Noolan?
Jamie Don’t know.
Lynsey What’s he like, Matty’s dad?
Jamie Al? He’s all right. Quiet. Don’t mind him. Just sits there most of the time.
He snorts a half laugh.
Long pause.
How is school?
Lynsey (suppressed laugh) Terrible.
They burst out laughing.
You know Mr Mackenzie?
Jamie Yeah.
Lynsey I bit him.
Jamie You what?
Lynsey Bit his hand. Bleeding and everything.
Jamie You’re fucking crackers, you.
Lynsey
I’m in Art, yeah? And Jones goes ‘Get out.’ Sends us out. I ain’t even done nothing. So I won’t go. Start throwing things around. Paint and that.
Jamie Why?
Lynsey Just ’cause. He goes and gets Mackenzie and he grabs us round the waist. So I just bit him. Did his head.
Jamie I bet.
Lynsey Fucking going red. ‘You BIT me!! You BIT me!!’
Jamie Reckon he’ll suspend you?
Lynsey No. Hope so.
Long pause.
Jamie How’s Clarence House?
Lynsey Same. You’re better off at home.
Jamie I’m gonna get you out.
Lynsey Are yer?
Jamie Yeah. Go back and get yer. Do a break out. Come and stay at ours.
Lynsey You reckon?
Jamie I am. (Beat) Be better if you were there. She wouldn’t do my head in so much.
Long pause.
Then Lynsey starts laughing.
Lynsey Guess what I’m thinking about.
Jamie No.
Lynsey Go on.
Jamie No.
Lynsey (drawling the name out like a child) Jamie.
Jamie No.
Lynsey Remember when I found yer?
Jamie Yeah.
Lynsey Fucking hanging there.
She carries on laughing. He doesn’t laugh.
Lynsey Got to admit it’s quite funny.
Jamie Idiot.
Lynsey It is though. I’n’t it? I’n’t it funny? Spoilsport.
Pause.
You got any bruises?
Jamie Yeah.
Lynsey Still?
Jamie Yeah.
Lynsey Show us.
Jamie pulls down his collar to reveal his neck.
Lynsey You looked mad.
Jamie (smiling) Fuck off.
Lynsey You seen mine?
Jamie No.
Lynsey (points to her thigh) Here?
Jamie No.
Lynsey pulls up her skirt to reveal the skin on her thigh.
Lynsey You really never seen this?
Jamie No. How d’you get that?
Lynsey When I was little I was climbing a tree. Fell. Got a branch through my leg. You wanna touch it? You can touch it.
Jamie does.
Don’t feel nothing.
Jamie It’s rough. The skin.
Lynsey Yeah.
Jamie strokes it for a while. Then bends down and kisses the scar.
Lynsey smiles.
He leans over, slightly clumsily, and kisses her lips.
She smiles.
He moves away from her.
She leans back on her elbows. Smiles at him.
Lynsey That was nice. Don’t need to stop, yer know?
Jamie breaks away. Stands up.
Lynsey looks at him, trying to get inside his head.
He looks down at her.
She smiles. He looks away.
Pause.
Lynsey I should probably go.
Jamie (turns to look at her) Don’t.
Lynsey I don’t want to. I’ve got to. You know what they’re like. They do their nut if I’m gone too long.
Jamie looks away.
Jamie You wanna go for a drive later?
Lynsey Maybe.
Jamie Should I come round?
Lynsey Yeah.
Jamie (looks back) After I’ve been to the Station Arms? Found Gary Noolan?
Lynsey Don’t.
Jamie I’m going to.
Lynsey Jamie. I’m warning you.
Jamie Are you?
Lynsey Yeah.
Jamie (he looks right at her) Stay with us, then.
Lynsey I can’t.
Jamie You can.
Lynsey I want to get back.
Jamie Do yer?
Slight pause.
Lynsey can’t reply.
Jamie looks away.
Jamie Al reckoned we was gonna go Margate.
Lynsey When?
Jamie All of us. Soon. You should come with us.
Lynsey Yeah. Maybe. All right.
Jamie looks up, right high up at the moon. Lynsey watches him. Laughs. Lies back down.
He puts his hands on his hips and smiles down at her.
Slow fade on the lights to black.
Bloomsbury Methuen Drama
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First published in 2004 by Methuen Publishing Limited
© 2004 by Simon Stephens
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