by Andrew Lynch
‘Also,’ Ixly started, ‘perhaps we’re just nice people.’
Bri shrugged at that. ‘Perhaps.’
Lawbreaker tag. Beware anyone with it. Still, that little tangent hadn’t helped this situation.
‘Okay, bear with me here. Garrick is weird, right?’ They both nodded. Ixly had begun tapping his drum to the rhythm of our steps, like he was marshalling us. ‘I mean, he talks weird. What if he doesn’t mean…’
I shouted to Garrick across the square. ‘Garrick! When you say woods, do you mean wood?’
‘That’s what I saids! Woods!’
‘This has nothing to do with land. This has to do with resources. They need wood…’, I said slowly.
We all stopped and thought about it. Then we turned and ran up the battlements.
‘They’ve got metal armour and weapons,’ Bri muttered. ‘The tech tree goes from wood to stone to metal. Why do they want wood?’
Silence.
I tapped the stone battlements. ‘Okay. They have metal weapons, yes, but what if… that’s all they have. Look at them. Ten thousand soldiers, hesitant to attack a tiny castle. One well placed catapult and we wouldn’t even be able to create a choke point. They don’t have any artillery. No assault towers, no battering rams, nothing. They need wood to make their ten thousand men into a real army that’s capable of siege.
Small nods from my companions.
‘I like it,’ Ixly said. ‘It fits. But it doesn’t change the fact that we don’t have any wood. Surely they can see that. They could repurpose a few load bearing timbers from some houses, but that’s hardly worth fighting over. It wouldn’t even give them a single trebuchet.’
I turned around and leaned my back against the battlement. Stretched out behind the castle was more farmland, and the bridge leading to…
‘I was wrong,’ I said, things clicking into place.
‘Not surprising,’ Bri said. ‘Giving up on the idea so quickly, though?’
‘I said it wasn’t about land. They need wood to complete their army. For an army to function, you also need supply lines. You can’t just leave an enemy castle next to the fastest way of getting to your destination. They want to cross the bridge, to get to a real fight, and we’re in the way. The wood they need, and their eventual battle, is past us. We’re inconsequential!’
“Situation Bonus 2: uncover the true cause of this conflict – complete.” flashed on my screen.
‘Huh. They really did just want the thought process? Nothing else?’
‘Pretty much,’ Ixly said.
‘You said the side objectives can be a clue to how to complete the main objective. How does this help us.’
They both looked out over the ten thousand strong enemy force. I took their silence to mean they were as lost as I was.
‘Okay,’ I smashed my fist into my palm. ‘Let’s reevaluate.’
‘They don’t really want to fight us.’
‘Are we sure they don’t?’ Bri asked. ‘We know that we’re not their final destination, but who knows? Maybe the commander is looking to blow off some steam before they get to building siege engines.’
‘That doesn’t work for me. If that was true, they’d have attacked already. No, they are being careful, and know that they will lose men in the siege, despite them vastly outnumbering us. We’ll create a choke point. It will get bloody.’
‘One of them may lose an eye from a stray pitch fork, but I can’t see much else happening.’
‘I can’t see any other reason for them holding back, so let’s go with that assumption for now, okay?’
They both conceded the point.
‘So, we can negotiate a truce. We won’t be surrendering, so the victory conditions will be met. Simple.’
‘Despite your impressive Sherlocking so far,’ Bri began, ‘An arrow through the heart of our Lieutenant telling us we die at dawn is irrefutable.’
‘Hmm.’ I mulled things over. ‘I had forgotten about that, yeah. Okay, other theories?’
I felt my chest shake as Ixly hummed before finally speaking up. ‘Surrender seems unlikely, yes. But you seem to be correct that they are being very cautious. Perhaps, too cautious.’
‘Too cautious?’ I shouted to Garrick, ‘Have they sent anyone inside? To talk, or scout, or anything?’
After some long distance recounting of how he made his own shoes when he was a youngster, and used to be a famous whittler, he finally answered in the negative.
‘They don’t actually know what we have here.’
‘Maybe their lack of siege is more than just that,’ Bri said. ‘Maybe they have no supporting units at all. Certainly, we can’t see any from here. No scouts or spies to infiltrate us.’
‘No healers to mend even the lightest of wounds,’ Ixly added.
‘Ten thousand, well equipped, infantry. They’re only a part of an army,’ I said. ‘But… how does that help us? They know nothing about us, but we have nothing for them to know.’
A rhythmic tapping came to my attention. It was slowly building, and my heart was beating faster to match.
‘Ixly. That drum. What does a Warshouter actually do?’
‘As you know it can be used for long distance, nonverbal communication. More directly, though, I can cast offensive and defensive auras. In social contexts, I can buff and debuff certain stats in subtle manipulations.’
‘Were you doing it just then?’ I asked.
‘I wasn’t actually using an ability, no. However, one of the unique parts of the Warshouter class is that our abilities can be activated as you would activate a spell, or they can be played regularly. If we can memorise the song, then it doesn’t have to use up a slot on our ability bar. What I did just then was a very basic social enhancer, giving plus one to Mind and Luck.
‘Guys.’ I grabbed onto both of their shoulders. ‘I have an idea!’
Chapter 22: Welcome
The morning sun broke over the enemy army, and the clank of metal reached my ears as ten thousand swords beat their shields to signal the advance.
I thanked the Eye that they only hit their shields once. If they had used that to time their march, my plan wouldn’t have worked.
I wasn’t sure my plan was going to work regardless, and right now, I was feeling pretty damn exposed. I pulled my legs under me so that I was sitting cross legged on the top of the ramparts. Someone, somewhere, must have hit the “cinematic” option on this situation, because the first ray of dawn light managed to illuminate only me. My personal spotlight.
This was, of course, a terrible idea, but after half an hour of noone being able to suggest anything else, Bri and Ixly congratulated each other on going in without any decent gear, and began preparing.
There had been some choice words thrown about, of course. Bri mostly questioned my parentage, and strongly suggested that if I did have parents, I should do upsetting things to them. Ixly, being the calm fellow he was, merely registered his disappointment with a sad shrug.
Once I had explained the plan to the villagers, they helped. They were more confused than supportive, but when they understood their part in the plan, they all saw the benefit – plausible deniability. They didn’t have to fight, and could throw up the white flags as soon as my idea failed. That had accomplished my second bonus objective! Sinking their morale had made it easier to raise, and giving them the option of not fighting had been enough to get me my experience points!
Bri had set about her task in an efficient, yet still sceptical, manner. She organised the villagers and had rounded up all the wood in the village. Sure enough, it hadn’t been enough to build a siege engine, but with a bit of druidic shaping, it had been enough to act as a giant amplifier. We’d set it out of sight of the enemy, and angled it so the sound would ring out just above our walls.
Ixly and I had the hardest part of this task. It had taken the entire night to prepare, and I still wasn’t sure I could do it. We’d considered him being the one to man the ramparts, but he was far too
imposing as a physical force. His drum wasn’t right for the job, so we had settled on his horn until, luckily, Garrick had offered us a violin that he’d finished whittling just last week. Convenient.
I could hear Ixly at the bottom of the wall behind me, tapping on his drum. I’d need his bonus to Mind and Luck. Also, the rhythm. He hadn’t really taught me to play the violin properly in a single night – he’d taught me a single, basic song. Now, I wasn’t a bard, so my song wouldn’t give any bonuses, or create a damaging aura. No, my song was just a song.
I rested the violin on my shoulder, and made sure the tips of the giant wooden amplifiers were still in place.
I touched the bow to the string and drew out a long, low, note. It could have been the beginning of a dirge, but the second note was higher and lighter, and the following notes were almost happy.
I played, my fingers missing a few notes despite Ixly’s help. Missing a few notes was fine.
The enemy continued their march, closing the kilometre between us. They were half way. The music rose to being downright jaunty at this point. This was Bri’s cue to open the gates for the enemy. The grinding of wood against earth caused me to miss a few more notes, but I kept playing the upbeat tune. I didn't know what the song was, but Ixly was confident it had the tempo I’d said I wanted.
It wasn’t scary, or intimidating, or sad, it was welcoming. The song, the open doors, and only a single person in sight. Everything was set for the enemy to walk in and claim the castle without resistance.
But we knew they were cautious, otherwise they would have already attacked. There was an intelligence commanding them in some form, and a desire to not lose troops. So what could possibly be more intimidating than a man playing a welcoming tune, open gates, and no signs of defence?
The enemy slowed their advance to half pace. As they pushed past the half kilometre mark, the final part of the song began. Slower than the jaunty middle, but still a warm note.
They were one hundred metres out from the ramparts now, and my song came to an end. So did the enemy army.
Ten thousand troops, stopped by a violin.
But what now? Would an archer kill me like they had the Lieutenant? Would they send a single unit in to test the waters?
Thirty seconds, and nothing had happened.
One minute.
The enemy weren’t sharing nervous glances, or shifting their weight. They all stood stock still, looking straight ahead. They were close enough that I could make out the crest on their armour. It looked somehow familiar, but I couldn’t place it. Three prongs, spiralling into the centre. Where had I seen that before? Like a… like a tattoo on someone?
I rested my violin on the wall, and uncrossed my legs, letting them hang beneath me, swinging back and forth like a child might when bored.
Another minute.
I couldn’t take the anticipation anymore. I stood up, thanking Ixly for his plus to Luck as I was sure I’d have slipped and fallen from the wall without it.
‘Hello! Come on in!’
There. A literal invitation to an empty village. Except one unarmed guy on a wall, playing a violin.
As if they were a single entity, or being controlled by one, they turned and marched away.
I stayed on the wall, watching them leave, until the entire ten thousand had crested a hill.
Bri and Ixly had joined me.
‘That worked?’ Bri said.
‘I have to admit,’ Ixly begun, ‘That wasn’t an orthodox plan.’
‘No,’ I agreed. ‘It was a terrible plan. But once I followed your advice, and didn’t think of it as a battle, it seemed easy. Just like completing a jigsaw. The pieces fell into place.’
Bri eyed me for a moment. ‘Oh, don’t start some pseudo philosophical nonsense.’
‘No, it’s true.’ I turned to Ixly. ‘I’m thinking of writing a book under a pen name. “Bun Two’s Art of Game”. What do you think?’
‘It has a nice ring to it. You’ve certainly made a good first case study.’ His reptilian eye winked at me. ‘Wouldn’t you agree, Bri?’
She shrugged, turned and headed back towards the castle gates. Once she was half way there, she shouted behind her. ‘You’re both idiots! But… well done!’
‘Astute.’ Ixly nodded. ‘How did you think of this?’
‘Like all good ideas, it was plagiarised.’
We both turned and headed for the exit to the situation.
‘Oh? Someone else has defeated an army like this?’
‘I feel it was more a repelling than a defeating, but yes. I learned about it in school.’
As we passed Garrick, I returned his violin, and he told me about his time as a table maker when there was no wood available, forcing him to craft furniture exclusively out of potatoes.
‘Yeah, a Chinese general did exactly the same thing back in some crazy, long ago year. I forget his name. There was only one difference.’
Ixly lifted an eyebrow in curiosity.
‘We faced down ten thousand with one hundred, right? Well, in real life, this guy did the same thing – told all his men to hide while he played a violin from the top of his defensive walls. Except, he faced down one hundred thousand enemy soldiers.’
Ixly snorted. ‘That’s an absurd number.’
‘I know, right? I mean, ten thousand is still a lot, but it’s a lot more realistic than one hundred thousand.’
‘More believable, at least.’
‘Exactly,’ I agreed. ‘Tulgatha is a world based on rules and probabilities. Not like the real world. Which is a lawless mess, where even the most improbable thing can happen.’
As we walked through the castle hall, villagers thanked me and offered me a share of their harvest if I ever returned. From the receiving room, I saw women and children emerging from a trap door, where they’d been hidden for safety.
As I walked up the stairs, with Ixly struggling to fit, I finally got the message.
“Situation Quest: defend castle from attackers. Complete.”
And the experience rolled in, bathing me in glowing light as I levelled up.
“Situation Quest: defend castle from attackers. Complete. +150xp.”
“Situation Bonus 1: raise villager spirits.Complete. +200xp.”
“Situation Bonus 2: uncover the true cause of this conflict. +200xp.”
“Level 5! Skill point unlocked. New ability unlocked.”
“Level 6! Skill point unlocked. New ability unlocked.”
“Level 7! Skill point unlocked. New ability unlocked.”
“Level 8! Skill point unlocked. New ability unlocked.”
“Level 9! Skill point unlocked. New ability unlocked.”
My vision was filled with new buttons and flashing icons. But I still hadn’t managed to get level ten!
‘Almost there,’ I called down to Ixly.
‘Good job. How far till ten?’
I checked my experience bar. ‘Aww man. I’m only twenty away!’
‘Not to worry. Let’s head back to your village.’
Chapter 23: Tutorial Over
“Inn completed. +30xp.”
“Level 10! Skill point unlocked. Spell Crafting unlocked.”
Oh yeah, the inn. I’d completely forgotten I was going to get experience just for completing a building.
I half expected Angie to pop her head round the corner and take me through all my new abilities and show me how to spell craft.
‘So, can one of you–’
‘What?’ Bri said, not looking at either of us. ‘No, I’m… okay.’ She turned to face us. ‘Sorry, got to go. Dad’s calling.’ She headed over to her quarter.
‘Huh. Good thing I don’t have parents, right?’
Ixly gently grabbed my shoulder. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘For what?’
He waved my question away. ‘Unfortunately, I have to leave as well. We used up the whole weekend on that situation, and I’ve got to go to work.’
‘Work? Oh, like a job
? In the real world?’
‘A job, yes, but not in the real world. I hold a spot at the one of the best inns in Tulgatha. The crowd loves a scary looking dinosaur man that can play instruments. It’s been a while since I’ve actually had to go, but without the income from my village…’
‘Right, of course. Sorry, I kind of forgot about needing an income. I’m one of the orphaned, government generation.’
He nodded slowly. ‘That must mean you’re English?’
‘Born and bred. You?’
His tail swished gently. ‘Not England.’
‘How very cagey of you.’
He shrugged. ‘Sorry. I’m from Norway’
‘Oh, cool. So, am I speaking Norwegian to you right now?’
He chuckled. ‘You would be if I’d set the filter that way, but no. I speak English online.’
‘Cool. But, why speak two languages if we’ve got the filter?’
‘Well, real life is still a thing, and English stuck as the language of business, so most speak it.’
I nodded. ‘But most of the new generation are just in pods playing HOPE, right, so why bother?’
‘Anyway, I really do have to go to work. I’ll be back tonight.’ He headed to his quarter, but after a few steps turned back. ‘Unless you want to see Tulgatha?’
‘The capital? I do want to see it, but I’ve got so much to organise here. All these new abilities, and Spell Crafting. Too much to do!’
‘Don’t worry. It’s intuitive.’ He smiled and walked away.
Five new spells, plus Spell Crafting, plus a new building to manage. Intuitive, it was not.
I had to just focus and power though. Okay, five new spells.
Two were offensive, one was defensive, one was an aura effect, and one was a summon.
“Soulburn” dealt damage, slightly less than Shadowbolt, but also slowed the enemy, and left them with a small DOT effect.
“Heart Freeze” was an instantly cast DOT that did a small amount of damage, but applied a debuff to the enemy of -1 Agility and Charisma.
