“I’ve got to be in you.”
I could hardly breathe to speak but managed to nod. Yes, whatever was coming next—and I understood the mechanics of it—I wanted it. Now. He pulled himself up and in one moment was inside of me, sheathing himself slowly.
He was hard and each movement of his body rubbed me in ways that only seemed to increase the magnitude of the pleasure shooting through me, over and over.
“Krystal.” He captured my mouth, kissing me tongue-to-tongue. I moaned into his mouth, pulling my legs back to wrap him further in me. We’d never be closer than this, and I needed it.
Needed him. Like I did air.
I lost track of how long we were joined but soon he seemed to grow impossibly bigger inside of me. Just as I exploded, so did he. He cried out my name, and I dug my fingers into his back, losing myself, finally.
Who cared about life and death? Not when there were moments like this.
I woke slowly, not even sure when I’d passed out, but I was pressed up against Titus’ side. He breathed deeply. I leaned on my elbow, staring down at him. He was beautiful and actually restful like this. I might be living on borrowed time, but I had this time. That meant something.
My stomach grumbled, reminding me it had been a long time since I’d eaten anything. It was still dark outside, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t suddenly starving. I’d worry about my body clock when I didn’t have my body powered by forces that had brought me back for reasons unknown.
“Titus.” I kissed his cheek. “Titus, I’m starving. Want to get food?”
He didn’t budge, his face staying passive. That was weird. He was usually so immediately alert in the morning. Titus must be exhausted. I didn’t want to just sneak out because he’d wake up and worry. I shook him again, this time harder. “Titus.”
He didn’t budge or react at all. Okay, that was wrong. I got up on my knees and outright shoved him around the bed. Nothing. “Titus.” I shouted his name, frantic. Worry overtook me. Something was wrong. “Help,” I shouted toward the door, not knowing if anyone could hear me at all. “Help me. Help.”
After a second the door flung open with a bang. Zeke rushed in. “Krystal, love? What’s wrong?”
“It’s Titus. He’s not waking up. Something is wrong.” I was naked, but it barely registered with me.
Teagan rushed through the door. Thaddeus, her one-eyed husband, right behind her. Paden grabbed the sheet and shoved it around me.
“What’s wrong?”
“Titus won’t wake up,” I answered both of them, sobbing as I continued to shake him.
“Stop.” Thaddeus touched my shoulder, making eye contact with Teagan. “Did you co-join? Did his eyes turn white?”
Teagan groaned. “I thought you explained this to them.”
“He did.” Zeke had a hand on Titus’ chest. “What does that have to do with not waking up?”
Teagan shook her head, sending Thaddeus a glare. “He clearly left out the fact that the man is left exhausted, magically asleep for hours and hours. Maybe days. They can’t wake up. Divinity is remaking his brain.”
The room fell silent, and I hiccupped, choking on an unshed sob. “I see.”
Thaddeus backed up. “We’re going to go. Great about the co-joining. No one knew if you could, considering the circumstances. If you can, that’s got to be a great sign. See you in the morning.”
He took Teagan’s hand and they left, quietly walking out together before they closed the door. I wiped at my eyes. “Sorry, Zeke. I didn’t know.”
“Why are you sorry? You must have been terrified. I was and I only had two seconds of seeing him like this.” He leaned over to kiss my cheek, lingering there. “So glad about the co-joining. He had to be ecstatic.”
I nodded. “I think so. I wanted to eat, but the need has fled.”
“It’ll come back. Go shower and calm down. Then we’ll go get you fed. Titus is okay.” He kissed my other cheek. “And we’ll get you that way now, too.”
A knock on the door had us both turning before Teagan poked her head in. “When they wake up, they’re very… needy sexually. Okay. Bye.” She closed the door.
Heat hit my cheeks until I was bright red. I practically ran to the bathroom.
Chapter 13
Zeke had been right. By the time I got out of the shower, I was starving again. Titus hadn’t moved, and I adjusted his pillow slightly, not wanting him to wake with neck strain to go with the battering I’d given him. Zeke leaned against the wall watching me, and I smiled at him before I shrugged.
I was apparently a caregiver and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I was going to fuss because I was just going to and that was all there was to it.
He extended his hand, and I took it. We walked together through the quiet house to the kitchen. He pulled out some food, and I walked over to the stove. I knew how to cook. All the Sisters had to. I’d warm it up.
Zeke shook his head. “Go sit. I want to feed you.”
“Um,” I wasn’t sure that had ever happened before. “Thanks.”
I took a seat, and even though we were both quiet for a few minutes, it didn’t feel awkward to sit with him while he cooked. He eventually turned from the stove and came over with warmed up chicken and vegetables.
“Don’t be too impressed. I couldn’t have cooked it. Reheat, yes.”
I smiled at him. “Thank you.”
“That’s your last thank you. I don’t need them from you. I like knowing we got you fed.”
I took a bite, and it was delicious, even reheated. “This is great. Who made it?”
He scrunched up his face. “I hate to tell you that I don’t know all the Sisters names yet. I… I’ve been a little focused on just being here for you. I know Mika, obviously. I apologized to her, watched Neil punch Titus, and somehow didn’t kill Neil.” He smirked. “I still kind of want to.” Zeke rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess if we’re staying here I’ll learn everyone’s name.”
I’d eaten about half my chicken, and I was suddenly full. “This is really the perfect place for you to stay even after I’m gone.”
Zeke sat down at the table. “Where would you be going?”
I needed to have this conversation with each of them, and it was probably going to go like this each time, uncomfortable and long. “After I’m dead.”
He drummed his fingers in front of him. “You’re not dying. Although, I see that Titus spoke with you. That’s good. I was worried he might… not be able to, since it’s so upsetting. But I’m not worried.”
He wasn’t? I sat back in my seat. “Well, that’s… good.”
“You misunderstand me.” He reached across the table to cup my cheek. “Nothing is going to happen to you. Why do we have to assume that you can’t live a perfectly normal life as a Sister here? They brought you back. Who’s to say there’s a time limit? I’m optimistic.”
In my absence, they’d suddenly all become glass half full people. I blinked. That was a strange expression. Where had I heard it before? I couldn’t even place it.
I leaned into Zeke’s hand. “Okay. I’ll just go with that.”
“Good. Do that. Can I say that I expected to feel a little bit jealous that Titus co-joined, but I don’t? I just feel relieved that he is in there with you.” He tapped my forehead. “And I’m so glad to be here with you alone in this moment, like we’re having some moments that can just belong to us. Like I’m glad to share and I’m also grateful for my alone time.”
I had to kiss him. I leaned over the table and pressed my lips to his. When he didn’t immediately return the embrace, shame moved through me. Had I done the wrong thing? I pulled back and Zeke jumped up and practically sprinted around the table to get to me. I was in his arms and then on his lap before I knew what was happening.
He kissed me. And then kissed me some more. I sighed against him. This was a need I desperately wanted to fill. If we had little time, I wanted to love Zeke and feel his love in return. I w
as going to be possessive over that word. I wanted to really feel it, know what it meant, and roll around in it for a while.
Zeke made me feel that way, and I hoped I did the same for him. He was so attentive, like he always knew what I was doing and where I was.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he pulled back, seeming to adore me with his eyes. Warmth spread through my body.
“Krystal, you glow. I want you to know that. You light up with goodness.”
I pressed my nose against him. “Zeke, you make me feel alive, and I want you to know that I see you. There’s never a time when you aren’t doing something to help others, even if it goes unnoticed. It never is. I see it.”
His eyes widened. “You are alive. And… and…” Whatever he would have said disappeared because the next second I was in his head.
I jolted. I knew this feeling, having experienced it once before, and yet the suddenness of being inside of his mind and his memories still took me by shock. I could see him as he walked through the other Sisterhood. They’d been made Katrina’s guards, and he wasn’t happy about it. For Zeke, who seemed to be pleasant and busy, even in the dimension with Divinity, he scowled. He didn’t want to be Katrina’s guard.
He shook his head, nearly colliding with Ryland. “Hey, man.”
Ryland nodded. “Hey, yourself. I want to leave. I want to get out of here. No amount of money is going to be worth that pain.” He held up his hand. “I know. I get it. We’re not going to do that. We took an oath to be guards and that means something. I’m not an oathbreaker either. But I want you to know that’s how I feel. There is something wrong with that woman.”
Zeke nodded. “We’re stuck, but keep your eye on the goal. We can get out of here better off than we came and end up where we are supposed to be.”
Ryland rolled his eyes. He always did when Zeke said things like that. “Supposed to?”
“Yep.” He patted Ryland on the arm. “Supposed to.”
The thing was that beyond anything else in the universe Zeke knew there was a ‘supposed to’ and it had to do with a woman. He wasn’t an idiot, and he wasn’t particularly romantic at all, but he knew it in his gut. She was somewhere. And when they found her—he’d always known he’d share her with the guys he loved like family—everything would be okay.
“Come in here, boys,” Katrina called down the hall, and Zeke pushed down the bile in his throat. Yes, he had to endure this. For her.
“Yes,” Zeke called back before he turned to Ryland. “We’ll get through this together.”
Ryland pointed at him. “I guess we will.”
I fell back into my own head again in just enough time to watch Zeke’s brown eyes with gray tints turn white. He sighed and closed his lids for a second before he opened them to smile at me. “Yes.”
I kissed his chin. “It doesn’t hurt?” It really looked like it must to go through such a physical change like that. Even my eyes weren’t white, not like that. But I supposed that made sense. As I was technically dead, I wouldn’t be losing my eye color any more than I had before I’d been killed.
Every time I thought things like that, I wanted to run and hide. I could fake bravery but not really accomplish it when it came down to it.
He shook his head. “It’s the opposite of hurting, and I think you’re tremendously brave.”
That was right. He was sort of in my head. Zeke would now be able to get some of what I thought. I brushed his hair away from his face. It was getting a little bit longer. “I’ll miss your eye color.”
He blinked and the color returned. “I can control it. But I don’t want to.” White again. “I like feeling like this right now.” He yawned. “Oh wow. Suddenly tired. Did it hit Titus this fast?”
I shook my head. “No, but maybe you were tired to begin with?”
“Maybe.” He rose, taking my hand. “Come with me.”
I followed him outside. There was a slight chill to the air but it wasn’t unpleasant. He stared up at the sky. He pointed to one small, distant ball of light. “That’s ours, okay?”
I wasn’t sure what he meant. “That star?”
“Yes. Whenever things go badly we’re both going to look up at that star and know that it’s ours. And up there on that star, there aren’t any problems like the ones here. Up there, we’re just able to be happy, healthy, and unbothered by the trials of men.”
I leaned against his arm. “Okay. That’s our star. I’m going to make that my happy place when I picture one.”
“Me, too.” He kissed my temple. “You had a room, right? Before there was the big one for all of us to share?”
I nodded. Where was he going with this? “Yes.”
“Let’s go there. I need you.”
That was a big statement for Zeke to make, considering how little he needed from anyone. I’d been in his head. Most of what I believed about him—truths I’d brought with me from the other place—was accurate. He wasn’t a guy who asked for things.
I squeezed his fingers. “Come on.”
We practically ran to my room and we weren’t inside the walls for two seconds before he had me flat on the bed. “Tell me if this is too much.”
“Nothing with you could ever be too much.”
His grin was slow. “You might take that back.”
I shivered in anticipation. Whatever he planned, I wanted it. Since he’d already started yawning, I expected this to go fast, but instead, he seemed to purposefully slow down. Zeke got things done but not because he rushed things, and I could see him considering his every move. Soon, however, he’d slipped my shirt over my head.
His eyes widened. “They’re even more beautiful than I thought they’d be.”
I shook my head. “Stop. I don’t… like compliments. I never know what to do with them.”
Zeke winked at me. “We’re going to get you over that. But not this very second.”
“I…”
Whatever I would have said I lost as he bit me. Not a hard bite, but one that would leave a mark. I cried out, not in pain but in pleasure. He trailed down my chest heading toward my stomach, biting me each time he stopped. He moaned against me, the sound was low and soft. I grabbed onto the bed.
I’d never known I would like this, but I really, really did. I was hot inside, not just warm and wet, but so ready for him I thought I might die from the heat of it all. “You’re… wow… I…”
He lifted his head, his white eyes finding me in the darkness. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me.”
I wanted to touch him. “I think we both need to be naked right now.”
Zeke had a smile that could light up the world. “Don’t have to ask me twice to get naked with you, Krystal.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
We pulled the remainder of our clothes off, and soon he’d pressed his chest against mine. Zeke was thin but muscular. He had a marking over his heart like someone had sliced him there once and the injury had scarred. I ran my fingers over it, looking up at his eyes with an unasked question that I hoped he understood.
He didn’t have to tell me, but I would always wonder.
“When I was a kid.” He shrugged. “It stretched with me as I got older. Some older guys held me down, thought it would be fun to slice me up. They were possessed. I got away.”
Well, thank Divinity for that. I kissed his chin. “I’m sorry. That should never have happened.”
“So many things shouldn’t have happened but then maybe if even one of them hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be here with you. That’s unthinkable.” He kissed me gently, stroking his hand down toward my core. Zeke pushed a finger inside of me and closed his eyes. “You’re so wet. I… I love you.”
“I love you, too.” I spoke the words that were always on my tongue. They’d been frozen there, my feelings too extreme to speak. Maybe it had been fear. I didn’t care. I could say them now. Zeke stroked me, finding my clit, and soon I was panting. It was almost too much. I wanted to come ar
ound his fingers, and yet I didn’t. I needed him inside of me. That’s how I wanted to come. “Inside.”
He made kind of a grunting noise before he scooted forward just enough to press himself inside of me. My body tingled, my muscles stretching to fit him. He trembled above me. This was a man who fought zombies, survived attacks, handled everything—and I made him shake.
Our tongues danced as we kissed. Over and over. I breathed when I could and didn’t care when I couldn’t. Every jerk of his hips brought him in and out of me. He filled me up, and I’d never have enough of him.
A pained expression crossed his face and a second later, his finger swiped over my clit, finding it again while he moved inside of me. I cried out, coming undone. I might have shattered. He followed me into the bliss for which there wouldn’t be any return from.
We were both changed.
Zeke had decided, for the sake of safety, that the best place for him to sleep was in the same bed with Titus. Easier to guard two men who weren’t going to wake up to defend themselves. We crept through the quiet house, and he’d no sooner settled me between him and Titus than he conked out.
I sighed. At least when he couldn’t wake, I wasn’t going to think he was dead. I closed my eyes. What happened to them while they were going through his transference? What exactly were the powers that be doing to them?
I closed my eyes. In my dream, I walked down a long path. On all sides of me were people I knew or had seen over the years. Sometimes I could recognize them, but I wasn’t sure how I knew them, exactly.
A woman with white hair and sad, almost purple, eyes reached out and took my hand. “We expected you back. You were supposed to come back if the end happened. We’re here when you return. Always.”
I swallowed. “Do I know you?”
“You will again.” She squeezed my cheek. “I’ve always known you.”
I wasn’t sure what to say, but she really seemed to care about me. “Thank you.”
She nodded. “Be careful out there. I can’t see what will happen and if I can’t see…” She turned left and farther down the path was Teagan.
Compassion Be Damned Page 15
