by Force, Marie
It occurs to me that I didn’t include Sebastian on my list of “brothers.” I’ve never put him into that category, a realization that has me sitting up straighter on his sofa. Sebastian has always been separate from the other guys in my mind, and it’s never occurred to me to wonder why. I refused to allow myself to go “there” because I didn’t think he’d ever be interested in more than friendship with me. After all, the man doesn’t do commitment of any kind, so why would I think he’d want something with me?
Now that I know how he really feels, it’s like I’m allowed to officially recategorize him, moving him from the friend column to the lover column.
A shiver of anticipation runs through me as I glance at the clock and wonder what time he’ll be home.
When he gets here, I’ll be ready.
Chapter 13
I’m off my game tonight, distracted, irritated, out of sorts. Usually, I love my job, even dealing with stupid people who have to be reminded repeatedly of our rules. They usually don’t bother me, but tonight, they’re on my last nerve. For the first time since the Quantum team put me in charge of their LA nightclub, I don’t want to be here.
Quisha raises a brow in my direction after I snap at one of the security guys who wants my help with something that ought to be his problem.
“You cranky tonight, boss man.” As always, Quisha is in full hair and makeup. Her brown skin fairly shimmers with the sparkly crap that ends up all over me when we work together.
“I get sick of people needing my help with everything.”
“That’s your own fault. You make them all codependent by being willing to help with whatever they need.”
“I don’t do that.”
“Ah, yeah, you do.”
Most of the time, I like how she has no fear of speaking her mind to her new boss. This is not one of those times. “We need more Ketel One and Maker’s Mark.” I hope that ends the psychoanalysis.
“I’m on it.” Teetering on four-inch heels, she heads for the storeroom to replenish.
I don’t know how she can stand those heels for five and six hours at a time. When I suggested she might want to wear more comfortable shoes to work, the look she gave me made my balls shrivel. So I mind my own business.
While she’s in the back room, I fill a couple of drink orders and wipe down the bar. I keep a close eye on what’s happening on the floor. Multiple scenes are playing out, mostly naked bodies writhe with pleasure and discomfort, but I couldn’t be less interested if I tried. Usually, I like to watch the various scenes, as I often learn something new from the other Doms. Tonight, I don’t care.
All I want is to be home with Marlowe. After the taste I had earlier, I want to gorge. I’ve been partially hard all afternoon and evening, which is probably why I’m so bitchy tonight.
The clock inches closer to ten, and when Quisha returns with the liquor replenishments, I decide to leave early—another thing I never, ever do. I take my responsibilities as well as the faith the Quantum principals have placed in me seriously, but Quisha is right. I’m in a mood and no good to anyone here.
“I’m going to punch out early. You got the bar?”
If she’s surprised, she hides it well. “I’ve got the bar. I’ll put the drawer on your desk.”
“No exceptions on the two-drink limit.”
“Right.”
“I mean it, Quisha. That’s our line in the sand. Anyone who plays in our club does so with a clear mind. Liquid courage has no place here.”
“Understood. Go on home, boss man. We gotcha covered.”
I hesitate, but only for a second before nodding and heading for my office to grab the keys off my desk. Before I go, I look for Stu, the security guy I just reamed, and find him on the far side of the room, watching the floor. “Sorry for being a dick.”
“No worries.”
“I’m going to take off. Call if you need anything.”
He nods, while making a piss-poor attempt to hide his shock at me leaving early. “Make sure Quisha and the others get to their cars before you leave.” I never leave until everyone else is safely on their way.
“Will do.”
“Thank you.” I get the fuck out of there before something can come up that requires my attention. I’m in my truck and headed home two minutes later, with the window open to let in the warm, fresh air that washes over me as I drive faster than I should to get to her. What happened earlier has set off a fever in my blood that only more of her can cure.
I always knew it would be this way if I ever crossed the line with her, which is why I stayed firmly on my side of that line. And now that we’ve stepped over, we can never go back to who we were to each other only this morning. Which is just fine with me. Now that I’ve had a taste, I’m determined to do whatever it takes to make her mine. To fuck with the consequences.
The thirty-minute ride to Malibu is made longer by an accident that snarls traffic. Forty-five minutes after I left the club, I finally pull into my driveway and cut the engine. As I go inside, I realize my foul mood is gone. I’m elated to know that I’ll see her in a matter of seconds—if she’s still awake.
I walk inside to find candles all over my living room, soft music playing on the sound system and a goddess asleep on my sofa. She’s wearing a silky black thing that clings to all her curves, and her hair is like spun gold that’s been set on fire against a white pillow.
I drop my jacket on a chair and go to her, sitting on the coffee table and taking a full minute just to stare at her before I drag my fingertip lightly over her arm. The bruises that mar her otherwise perfect skin enrage me. If I ever see that guy again, I’ll end him.
She’s lying on her side, and her full, lush breasts nearly spill out of the scraps of silk that pass for a nightgown. I love that she set this scene with candles Leah must’ve brought, knowing I’d come home to find her this way. As a fellow Dom, I understand the importance of setting a scene.
I continue to run my finger up and down her arm until she stirs, her eyes fluttering open and lighting up with pleasure when she sees me there. “You’re home.”
Those two little words inspire a wild yearning in me for a home that includes her, which is something I’ve never once wanted with any woman. I bring her hand to my lips. “I’m home. I see you kept busy while I was at work.”
She smiles. “I was once told I look my best in candlelight.”
“You look your best in any light.”
Her smile broadens to encompass her eyes, which twinkle with mischief and delight. “Are you home early?”
“Maybe. Are you going to tell my bosses?”
“Depends.”
“On?”
“Whether you’re nice to me.”
“Baby, I’ll always be nice to you.” I slide my arms under her, pick her up and bring her into my embrace. Though she’s fierce and fiery on the outside, her bones are small and fragile, and the thought of that guy hurting her makes me crazy. I hold her close, breathing in the distinctive scent of her that reminds me of an aromatherapy candle my mother has. Marlowe’s scent reminds me of home, a realization that has my heart doing backflips in my chest.
Her arms curl around my neck, and she looks up at me expectantly.
I’m dying to kiss her, but I hold off, wanting to draw out the suspense. I can’t recall the last time I was dying to kiss anyone. Everything feels new again with her, like it’s the first time for all the important things, when, in fact, I’m more than twenty years removed from my first time with a woman. “I missed you while I was at work. How’s that possible?”
“Not sure, but I missed you, too.”
“The staff said I was cranky tonight.”
“I hope you fired them,” she says with a teasing smile.
“Couldn’t really fire them when it was true.”
“And why were you cranky?”
“Because I didn’t want to be there.”
“But you love that job.”
“I know, bu
t there was something else I wanted to be doing.”
“And what was that?”
“You.”
She fans her face dramatically. “Why, Sebastian, I never knew you were such a romantic.”
“Neither did I until the hottest babe in the history of hot babes was staying at my house and wearing these little scraps of fabric that barely count as clothes.”
“This old thing?”
“You’re a vixen and a very naughty girl. You’ve got me thinking about you when I should be focused on work. What do you suppose we ought to do about that?”
“I suppose I need to be punished.”
I wasn’t expecting her to say that, and the shock of it has me rock hard in seconds. “Is that what you want?”
“It might be what I need.”
When she looks up at me, I see vulnerability. In all the years I’ve known her, I’ve never seen that from her before. Not like this anyway, and I’m unnerved to realize she’s giving me something so rare and precious.
“But I have concerns.”
“Talk to me.” I sit back in the chair, grab a blanket to cover her so she won’t get cold and snuggle her into my chest. There’s no way she can miss that I’m hard for her, so I don’t bother to try to hide it.
“Something has changed for me recently.”
“How do you mean?”
“The dominance… The thrill is gone. I’ve been bored by it, and I think that’s why I was excited to share it with Rafe.”
“How so?”
“I thought if I could make it part of our relationship, maybe I could get back my mojo. We all know how that worked out.”
“He was the wrong guy to help you rediscover your mojo. That’s on him, not you.”
“I know, but I was wrong in more ways than one.” She looks up at me. “I’m so tired, Seb.”
“Of what, honey?”
“Everything. It’s been a long twenty years.”
“How so?”
“You know how my mom and I basically ran away from my dad, who wouldn’t allow me to pursue acting, right?”
“I’ve heard the story from others but never from you.”
She takes a minute to gather her thoughts while I continue to stroke her silky skin. “My mom was amazing. She’s the one who believed I could be a star, and she’s the reason I’ve had this incredible career. My dad was forever telling her to get her head out of the clouds and stop filling me with foolish dreams that would never come true. But she believed. Oh how she believed, and when he refused to let her take me to LA to meet with agents and casting directors, we took off one day while he was at work, and we never looked back. Did you know we lived in our car for the first year?”
“Yeah, I’ve read about that.” The story is now a thing of legend in this town.
“We had a membership to a YMCA where we showered and they let us park in their lot overnight, too. We were giving it six more months when I got cast as Daisy in Tell Me Your Name. Ironic that I played a homeless girl in the film that made me when I was technically homeless myself, right?”
“I think it’s amazing.” I think she is amazing.
“The first thing we did when I got paid was rent a furnished one-bedroom apartment. We shared a bed because we were too afraid to spend more than the bare minimum. What if the movie bombed or the critics hated me or I was a one-hit wonder?”
“Of course they loved you. How could they not?”
“It was so crazy what happened after the premiere. Nothing was ever the same again, and it’s been a wild ride ever since.”
She got her first Oscar, for supporting actress, for the role of Daisy in the film that made her a star.
“It felt like I’d been shot out of a cannon. I went from nothing to everything practically overnight. And then… Then my mom got sick with advanced cancer and was gone four weeks later. I was so lost without her, and everyone wanted a piece of me. I got swept up in the madness. I made a lot of mistakes during that time.”
“You were just a kid, Mo. Everyone makes mistakes.”
“Not everyone makes mistakes with the whole world watching.”
“You mean Demers.” She’d had a well-publicized affair with the director of her second film, who was twenty years her senior.
“Yeah. He promised me the world, and all he did was get me pregnant.”
“What?” I’ve never heard that before.
“We managed to keep that part out of the press.”
“It was on him. He was older and should’ve known better.”
“It wasn’t entirely his fault. I was hurting so bad after losing my mom, and he wanted to take care of me.”
“He took advantage of a young, grieving girl who was on the way up while he was on his way out.”
“My eyes were wide open to who and what he was, Seb. Don’t let me off the hook.”
“You’ll never convince me that he wasn’t the one who should’ve known better.”
“Maybe, but I was easily led at that time in my life.”
“What happened to the baby?”
“I miscarried at three months. Ended up in the hospital for a week because I lost a lot of blood. I was so sad. I was going to have it and keep it. Somehow. Hard to believe he or she would be in high school now.”
“Did you ever tell anyone?”
“Flynn knows. I met him a month after I lost the baby, when we did Stardust together. We hit it off instantly. In many ways, I credit him for saving me. He took me under his wing and brought me into the Godfrey family. Max and Stella… They taught me how to do fame in a way that didn’t require me to sell my soul to the devil. I’m thankful every day for Flynn, his parents, his sisters and everyone at Quantum. You all are my family since I lost my mom.”
“You’ve had one hell of a ride in this town.”
“I don’t want you to think I’m not thankful for every bit of it. After the crap with Demers, I never let myself get caught up in something like that again. I was much more discerning about who I let into my life, which is another reason why the thing with Rafe was so out of character for me.”
She runs her hand absently up and down my arm as she talks. Her touch drives me mad, but I bite my tongue and let her touch me because I want to hear what she has to say.
“Flynn introduced me to the BDSM lifestyle after Hayden brought him in on it. I loved it from the beginning. It felt so good to have control over one area of my life when everything else felt so out of control, you know?”
“I can totally see how that would be freeing.”
“It was just what I needed, but now…”
I run my fingers through her long hair. “What?”
“I’d like to let someone else worry about the details.”
“So what you’re saying…”
“I’m tired, Seb. I want someone else to take care of me for a while.”
“How long is a while?”
“I don’t know.”
“I want to be the one to take care of you, Marlowe. God knows, I want to be the one. But I don’t know if I can do a fling with you.”
“Oh, well… Okay.”
When she moves to get up, I tighten my hold on her to keep her with me. “You’re misunderstanding me, sweetheart. I’m not saying no to you. I’m saying no to a fling.”
“So you want this to be… more?”
I nod. “More than a fling. Beyond that, I don’t know.”
“I’m still trying to believe you want me that way and never said anything.”
“I wish now that I had. I could’ve saved you from what you went through with him.”
“Maybe I was meant to go through that so it could lead me to you.”
“Wouldn’t that be something?”
Smiling, she nods and reaches for me, bringing me in for a kiss. “I’ve wondered, for years, what it might be like to kiss you.”
God, I wish I’d known that. “And now that you have?”
“I wish I’d done it ages ago.�
�
“Come to bed with me. Let me take care of you the way I’ve wanted to for so long.”
“You and I both know this isn’t as simple as we’re trying to make it.”
I know what she means. We’re both dominants, and at some point, we’ll need to address that dynamic and how it’ll work for us. But that doesn’t have to happen tonight. “We’ll figure it out.”
“What if we can’t?”
“We will.” With her in my arms, I stand and then put her down so we can gather the candles and bring them with us to my room. Normally, I couldn’t be bothered with shit like candles and romance, but I want her to have it all. She deserves nothing less than full romance, and I want to be the one to give it to her. “About that punishment you have coming…”
“What about it?”
“How do you think we should handle that?”
She links her index fingers and looks at me expectantly. “I have no idea. You’re in charge. I’d think that would be up to you.”
I go to her, put my hands on her hips and kiss her forehead, the tip of her nose and then her lips. “Have you ever been a sub?”
“Not in years. I used to switch, but I could never find a Dom who did it for me, so eventually, I stopped trying.”
Her words are like gas on my fire. “And that’s what you want now? You want me to dominate you, to take control of your pleasure?”
“I want to try.” She looks up at me with courage and determination and trust.
Knowing she trusts me is the ultimate pleasure. “Remind me of your safe word.” I love that I don’t need to explain the rules to her the way I would with a new sub. “And I want a promise. But first the safe word.”
“Famous.”
I love that she chose that word.
“What do you want me to promise?”
“That when you feel up for it, you’ll return the favor.”
Her expressive eyes widen. “You want me to dominate you?”
I nod, keeping my gaze fixed on hers.
“You’re not a switch.”
“No, I’m not, but you are a Domme. If you try to deny who you really are—indefinitely—you’ll be unfulfilled. I want you fulfilled and happy and content. I need you to promise me that, when the time is right, you’ll take the lead.”
