“I’m always ready to kiss you.” And then I did, softly at first, then giving him more pressure, welcoming his tongue into my mouth, and finally letting go with all the passion I felt for him. His arms wrapped around me, and he held me tight as our kiss went on and on.
Finally, Holden pulled away from me, breath ragged, lips red and swollen. “That was… I’ve never… How can a kiss make me feel so much?”
Because you’re my mate. “Because you’re with a dragon, and dragons are the best.”
He rolled his eyes. “Dragons are apparently arrogant as fuck but also totally hot.”
“Damn right we are. Let’s go.” I gestured toward the sled. He hopped in, and we took off on another exhilarating ride. But no matter how fast we went, no matter how the sled swooped from side to side or how I steered us to barely miss all the obstacles on the way down, the ride couldn’t compare to the excitement I felt when I kissed Holden.
We went down the hill a few more times. Then we built a whole family of snow people by the side of the porch. Each of us periodically dashed into the kitchen to find things to decorate them with. I located a few old scarves and hats and gave one of our snow people an old sweatshirt, which we cut to function like a coat. When our snow creations were finished, I showed Holden my technique for making the perfect snowball, which I quickly regretted.
He was a fast learner and was soon pelting me with perfectly formed weapons. We built small forts and stockpiled our ammunition. Holden fought long and hard, but eventually he plopped down in the snow and yelled, “I surrender.”
I stood over him, looking down with a smirk. “Like I said, dragons are the best.”
“Are they the best at making hot chocolate?”
“Umm... maybe?”
He laughed and grabbed onto my legs using them as leverage to pull himself up. “That’s a no. I guess I’ll be making it for us.”
“Are you ready to go in?”
“Yes. This has been awesome, but I’m exhausted and in need of chocolate.”
“Will chocolate speed your recovery? Because I have plans to exhaust you again.”
He slid his hands up my chest and set them on my shoulders. “Any chance your plans involve a warm bed?”
“Most definitely.”
Holden winked. “Then I’m in. I think I’ve had enough snow for a while.”
“I can accept that. Maybe a walk in the snow tonight? There’s something magical about snow after dark.”
“I love how you go from being giddy about the snow to all seductive. It might be my favorite thing about you.”
I arched my brows. “Your favorite thing?”
He surprised me by cupping my crotch and squeezing. I had to bite my lip to hold in a yelp.
“My second favorite thing.” He turned toward the house, and all I could do was follow him. I was one hundred percent smitten. What would I do if I couldn’t convince him to stay?
Holden made hot chocolate from scratch instead of using the packets which I was sure we had somewhere. It was divine, smooth and silky and rich, much like the taste of him. And I did taste him, again and again throughout the afternoon. We were both so exhausted from our exertions we slept for several hours and had to drag ourselves from bed for a late dinner. Holden made a simple but incredibly flavorful pasta dish. The food was good, but his company was better.
We spent a second day in much the same way, alternately playing in the snow and playing in bed. I wanted to ask him again if he would consider staying for longer than another day or so, but I didn’t want to upset him, so I tried to do as he wanted and enjoy the moment.
The next morning, I wished I’d pushed a little harder during those times when everything was so perfect between us, because when I woke, Holden was already up and dressed. I knew that wasn’t a good sign.
“You awake?” he asked when I began to stir
“I am, and I was hoping you’d be here with me.”
“I didn’t want to wake you, but I checked the weather and road conditions. It looks like things are okay down in town. The clinic is opening late today, and they want me to work this afternoon, so I need you to take me back.” His words came out all in a rush. He clearly expected me to protest. And I wanted to. I wanted to beg him to stay. Did he not feel the mate bond?
The storm had moved on, and the sun was bright that morning, but it didn’t feel warm and comforting. It was harsh enough to shatter the safe cocoon I’d woven around us. “I know you need to work, but you’re welcome to stay here as long as you’d like. I could pick you up after work or—”
“I can’t stay here anymore. This has been… incredible. You’re… God, Kymar, you’re everything I could imagine a dragon would be and more, but I can’t just move in with you. I don’t do relationships. I have issues from my past, and I… I just can’t do this, okay?”
“If you want to tell me what happened to you, I’ll listen.”
Holden shook his head. “It would only make it harder to leave. I just… Please just take me home.”
His voice shook, and he seemed to be barely holding himself together. I didn’t want him to hurt, but I was glad to know he felt something. Leaving wasn’t easy for him. “Holden, if you’re truly my mate—”
He held up his hand. “Please, Kymar. Don’t. That’s just… It’s not something I can do.”
“It’s not something you do. It’s something you are, and it can’t be changed.”
He shook his head. “I don’t believe in fate, and if she does exist, she’s a bitch. Because my destiny has never been what I would’ve wanted.”
“What if I could change that? What if being my mate is exactly what you need?”
“I can’t let myself believe in things that aren’t going to last.”
“Fated mates are forever. I would never hurt you, Holden.”
He looked close to tears. It was going to hurt so much to be apart from him, but I wouldn’t force him to stay. This wasn’t the thirteenth century when we simply took the omegas we wanted from a village and kept them in our caves. I had to let him go and hope he would want to come back.
8
Kymar
Two weeks had passed, and I’d heard nothing from Holden. I’d given him my number and told him to call me if he needed anything. I told him that even if he didn’t want to see me again, I would help him in any way I could. But I hadn’t had a single call or text. I knew the mate bond would tell me if anything was seriously wrong with him, so I wasn’t worried about his safety, but I needed him. I needed to touch him, to hold him, even just to see him again. Several times I’d nearly gone to seek him out, but I’d held myself back, continuing to hope that eventually he would reach out to me. But my dragon grew more insistent every day. It believed it was past time for me to bring my mate home.
I wanted Holden to be the one to make the next move because he was the one who was afraid of what our mate bond meant. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold out, though. I’d tried again to convince myself I was exaggerating what I felt, that I was just lonely and latched on to the first omega I felt something for, but my feelings of restlessness and despondency grew worse the longer I was apart from Holden.
Once Claudia was thoroughly recovered from her cold, she fussed over me constantly. I hardly had any appetite, which made her certain I was ill. She kept trying to encourage me to go visit a doctor, but the closest dragon doctor was across the country, and I already knew what was wrong.
“You really need to figure out what’s wrong with you. I know you don’t want to travel all the way to see Dr. Ptarmigan, but—”
“I don’t need a doctor.” I was sitting at the counter, trying to make myself eat the omelet she’d made for me. It was perfect, fluffy and filled with bacon, Swiss cheese, peppers, and mushrooms. Any other morning I might’ve gobbled it down so fast she would have scolded me for my poor manners, but not today.
She frowned at my plate. “You need someone to help you.”
“Th
e only person who can help is Holden.”
“I wondered when he was going to come around again.”
I sighed. “Never, if he has his way.”
She narrowed her eyes. “What did you do to scare him away?”
“Nothing. It’s not me. It’s…”
She gave me a look that said she wasn’t so sure.
“I think he’s my mate, Claudia.”
She almost dropped the plate she was holding, but she managed to set it down and lean against the counter. “Then why isn’t he still here?”
“Because he wouldn’t stay. He doesn’t believe me or at least he doesn’t want to.”
She frowned. “I only know what you’ve told me about dragons and their mates, but shouldn’t he be feeling the same sort of longing that you are?”
“I don’t know if he is or not. I haven’t talked to him.”
“Oh, Kymar. We have to figure out a way to fix this. I can’t stand seeing you so sad.”
“But what if I’m wrong? What if he can stay away because he’s not really my mate?”
“What do your instincts tell you?”
“That I need him. That I’m meant to be with him. But I have no idea how to convince him.”
“What’s holding him back, other than the fact that he didn’t know dragons existed until he met you, and maybe the whole idea of being destined to stay with you forever is a little much?” When she put it like that, of course he was overwhelmed. Before I could figure out how to respond, she said, “All I can really do is listen and try to make you eat and take care of yourself while you wait for him to come around. But I’m wondering if you should just keep waiting. If you’re not there, isn’t it that much easier for Holden to convince himself he imagined how much he cares for you?”
Was it? Shouldn’t he feel the same unease I did? But what if he decided that was all coming from something else, like maybe he thought he was sick like Claudia had thought about me. “Maaaybe.”
“What you need to do is talk to one of your dragon friends. Laszlo found his mate, maybe he would know.”
I frowned. “Laszlo thinks it’s unlikely my mate just happens to be his mate’s best friend. I’m not sure he’s going to be open to listening to me. Besides his mate is pregnant and not feeling well, so he’s a bit cranky.”
“Then call one of your other friends like that nice Bartholomew or even Desmond. He can be a little kooky, but he means well.”
I smiled for the first time that day. “You totally think Bartholomew is hot.”
She sniffed. “A lady does not discuss such matters. Now are you going to do as I say?”
I let out a heavy sigh. “Fine. I’ll call one of them.”
I started to rise from the table, but Claudia shook her head. “After you finish your omelet.”
Not wanting to disappoint her, I finished most of it, then decided to call Bartholomew. He was more likely to have practical advice. Desmond might tell me to try a spell like he apparently had, though he did say he cast it for all of us. Maybe he’d brought me Holden, and now I needed a spell to keep him with me.
Of all of us, Bartholomew was the most immersed in human culture. He’d decided he was done with isolating himself, no matter how risky it might be to live among humans. The town at the base of my mountain was on the outskirts of a much larger city where Bartholomew lived in a penthouse apartment. He didn’t just live among humans either. He owned several companies and directly ran one as the CEO. His excuse for actually working, something most dragons avoided at all costs, was that he needed something to do until he found his mate.
Since his life wasn’t as filled with leisure as mine, Laszlo’s, or Desmond’s, I doubted he’d answer a midmorning call, but he did, right on the first ring.
“Good morning, Kymar. I wouldn’t have expected you to be up and about at this hour.”
I was typically just waking, but I hadn’t been sleeping well since Holden had left. “I woke early today.”
“And decided to call me?”
Most dragons hated to admit to needing help with anything, but I was desperate. So instead of posturing, I simply said, “I need some advice.”
“Indeed. And you think I have the expertise you’re looking for?”
“Not really, but I’m sure you have an opinion on it, since you do on everything else.”
He laughed. “I’m also very good at making people believe I know exactly what I’m talking about. That’s basically the essence of running a company.”
And it was a skill most dragons possessed. Maybe I should start a company myself. “I think I may have found my mate.”
Bartholomew made a strangled sound. “You’re serious?”
“I am, but he doesn’t think so.”
“You mean you didn’t wow him with your charm and prowess.”
“Fuck you.”
Bartholomew sniffed. “No thank you. Now tell me more. I can hardly advise you if I don’t know anything about why your mate doesn’t want you.”
I growled. “I didn’t say he doesn’t want me. I said he doesn’t understand the whole idea of fated mates.”
“I still need you to elaborate.”
I debated giving up. Bartholomew was always difficult, but I really did need someone else’s opinion. “My mate is Laszlo’s mate’s best friend.” Once I discovered that Laszlo had found his mate, he’d messaged the rest of the Lonely Dragons Club.
“So why aren’t you talking to Laszlo or Roman?”
“When I suggested it to Laszlo, he thought I was just imagining it. You know how he can be.”
“Certain he’s right. Unwilling to listen to others. A dragon.”
I bit back a sigh. “Right. All of that. I brought Holden home with me after meeting him at Laszlo’s house. He only intended to stay for one night, but the big snowstorm kept him here longer. I tried to convince him to stay, but he said he had to get back to his job and that he ‘didn’t do relationships.’ What is it with humans these days?”
Bartholomew laughed. “They do make it difficult sometimes. If only they’d simply listen to us.”
“Exactly.”
“You know what I’m going to tell you.”
Did I? Had I called him because I knew he’d push me. “You’re going to say that if you want something, you have to go get it.”
“That’s right. You’d never build your hoard by sitting around worrying about whether there are some gold coins that need collecting, would you?”
“Of course not. That would be ridiculous, but the gold coins don’t care who they belong to.”
He huffed, and I could just imagine him giving me that condescending look he was so good at. I bet he used it to scare the hell out of his human employees.
“It’s the twenty-first century, Tolly. I can’t just drag him back here.”
“Do not call me that.” Bartholomew hated all nicknames, but his name had far too many syllables to bother saying them all the time. “And you can if that’s what he actually wants.”
I frowned. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that if he’s your mate, he wants to be with you. He’s either afraid or stubborn or needs to know you care enough to force his hand.”
“I still can’t just kidnap him. He has friends who might call the human authorities if he goes missing.”
Bartholomew’s frustrated groan said I was an idiot. “I’m not telling you to kidnap him. I’m telling you to quit moping around, make a plan, and go fucking convince your mate to come home with you.”
“And if he won’t?”
“You don’t go into this expecting to lose. You want him, go get him.
“It’s not that simple.”
“If he’s your mate, then it is.”
Was Bartholomew right?
“Kymar, mates can’t stay apart for long. You know that. He’s going to suffer without you, and you don’t want that to happen. Don’t be afraid to push. I’m not saying you should do anything without his cons
ent, but he needs to know how you feel.”
I pondered that for a moment. “I think you may be right.”
“Of course I am.”
This was why I’d called Bartholomew. Not just because he would push me to act, but because he wouldn’t take any shit, and he would remind me how to get what I wanted while still being a decent person, something most dragons wouldn’t care about.
“Go use your charm on him. Turn it all the way up. Make him want to come home with you.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, and congratulations.”
I could hear the sadness in his voice. He rarely showed it, but he longed for a mate as much as I did. I wanted to say something to encourage him, but I knew reminding him that he hadn’t found what Laszlo and I had would only hurt him. “Thank you for that too. I’ll let you know how things go.”
9
Holden
I’d missed Kymar every moment since I’d left him. I dreamed of him, got lost in thoughts of him at work, and jerked off multiple times every night to memories of what it was like to be with him.
I wanted to let myself believe I could be his mate. I wanted to go back to him and give him a chance to show me that I could have something good, and it could last. But longing for him was bad enough. The thought of trying again and losing him, of finding out he wasn’t who I thought after all, that wouldn’t just leave me distracted and restless like I was now. It would devastate me. So no matter how many times I picked up the phone to text or call him, I always put it back down again.
I hadn’t seen much of Roman in the two weeks since Kymar had taken me home, partly because he was living with Laszlo now instead of just two streets over, partly because he was exhausted from pregnancy and working long hours, and then there was the fact that I was sure seeing Roman would only make me miss Kymar more. But that wasn’t a reason to neglect my friend, so when I left the vet clinic in the late afternoon and realized Roman would still be at work, I decided to pay him a visit.
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