“You arrived at last,” she said dryly.
“Yes.”
He headed towards her with the intention of going up to his bedroom. Corina let him pass as if nothing happened, trying to suppress everything she wanted to yell at him at that moment. But she had to be discreet, since her husband was at home and she didn’t want him to know the reason why she was arguing with her beloved brother, who was screwing up a bit more every time.
“Stefan, I will see you in my office in five minutes,” she requested sharply, forgetting for a moment what she had decided earlier.
He stared at her, puzzled at the brusque change in her attitude, although he knew that conversation would happen sooner or later. Sometimes it was better to get that out of the way so he could get that weight off his shoulders.
He nodded speechless and both of them resumed their way.
Stefan stayed in his room a few minutes, unable to stop thinking about her, about the hours they had spent together, and how much he loved her. He never anticipated feeling so much love for her. Elsa had always been like a niece for him. But he kept repeating to himself once and once again that, if he hadn’t seen her in her underwear, confirming that she wasn’t a girl anymore but a beautiful woman, maybe all that would have never happened. Remembering that moment didn’t help him at all, especially after having shared caresses.
He started shaking his head like crazy. He would go mad at any moment if he continued like that. He still didn’t know for sure when he had realized it was love what he really felt for her. When did he fall in love?
Tired of hiding, he left his room and headed to his sister’s office. The door was open, so he entered and closed the door behind him. The click of the door closing interrupted Corina’s thoughts, who lifted her head from her hands.
“Sit down,” she ordered.
“Whatever you have to tell me, I can hear it while standing up,” he replied, challenging her.
“Stefan…” she sighed. “Okay, if that’s what you want.”
Sensing it would be a long conversation, he pulled a chair and sat reluctantly.
“Happy now?” he asked. “No, you don’t need to answer. Just tell me at once what you want.”
Corina lifted an eyebrow, absolutely puzzled and unable to believe her brother’s attitude. They were staring at each other, as if they were fighting a battle he had already lost without even knowing it. At least that’s how she felt.
“You’ve come back from Venice feeling rather cocky, haven’t you?” He looked at her surprised. “What? You thought I wouldn’t know?”
“I didn’t…” he stammered.
“Don’t bother. I don’t want your excuses. Part of me knew you would go there, although I was hoping you wouldn’t.”
She stood up, walked around the desk, and sat next to him. No matter how much she wanted to see them apart, she couldn’t help but feel sorry for them, since love could be as beautiful as cruel. For them, it was being the latter.
“Why?” was the only thing she asked.
“I don’t know where you are going with this, Corina.”
“Fuck, Stefan. Can’t you understand you cannot be together? She is a girl. Do you think that Leonard is going to allow you to get closer to his little girl?” Stefan tried to interrupt her. “No, don’t say anything you could regret later.” She pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling exhausted.
“I love her, Corina,” he sobbed.
His sister got closer and hugged him fondly. She believed him, she knew he was saying the truth, but it was impossible to let them be together. She couldn’t allow that.
They spent a few minutes in silence and then she toughened her expression again, showing him that the decision was taken and nothing he said could make her change her mind. She had decided there was just one solution: he had to marry Chloe. Obviously, Stefan flatly refused, but she wouldn’t budge; her decision was made. The wedding had to happen. Period.
Stefan stood up beyond angry and, staring at his sister, pointing a finger at her.
“No way. You cannot force me to get married. I’m not a little boy.”
“I wasn’t asking you. You will do it,” she sentenced, punching her desk.
He couldn’t believe it. His sister couldn’t be doing that to him, especially not after he had confessed his real feelings for Elsa. Yes, she was underage and his brother in law’s daughter. Fuck! Just thinking about it exasperated him, since he would punch himself for being such a son of a bitch. How could he let her enter his heart in such a way? The worst part was that he hadn’t chosen to love her; his heart simply started beating in a frenzy.
He went to the door, considering their conversation settled, a conversation that, on the other hand, didn’t make any sense. But Corina called him back.
“I haven’t finished.”
“I have.”
“If you don’t get married, I will tell everything to her father, Stefan. You know what will happen if I do that. Are you sure you want that for her? Are you sure you want to make her father force her to go to live with her grandparents? You know how much Elsa has always hated living in Spain, especially with those people who have only despised her.”
She was putting him between a rock and a hard place because she knew how much he cared about her.
“She is underage.”
“If I have to wait until she is over eighteen to tell Leonard everything myself, I will. But I won’t do what you are telling me to do, Corina. I won’t marry Chloe,” he replied, choking out the words.
“Stefan, please, take responsibility in your life and continue just how you had planned it. It’s the best. You know it is,” she said, calming down. “I understand you. I understand you have fallen in love with her, but you must know that both of you have different destinies. She wants to study, travel the world. And you…” He snorted. “You want to live in peace and quiet. You want your house, your wife, and your children. What will happen when it is time to settle down and she won’t want to? Have you thought of that?” He shook his head, looking down. “There is your answer, brother. She is not for you and you are not for her. Remember that always.”
Stefan couldn’t go on talking to his sister because he knew everything she had said was true and he hated it. He went to the door to leave at once, but first he looked at his sister with doubts.
“How did you know I had gone there?”
“Alicia.”
He nodded. “I’m… I’m sorry,” he apologized.
“Don’t apologize, Stefan. Just one last thing.” Stefan turned to her again. “Did you sleep with her?”
It was quite a personal question and, although he had no secrets with his sister and she had always trusted in him, it bothered him she doubted him like that. He shook his head and left, feeling exhausted. He went to his bedroom again, opened the window, and took a deep breath until his chest hurt for filling it so much with air.
Hours passed by and his head couldn’t stop replaying everything that Corina had said. Getting married wasn’t the option he would choose, but it was the best one for everybody. He had to do it. He couldn’t understand how he didn’t feel anything for Chloe. The truth was he never felt love for her. He had been lying to himself. His heart would never belong to her, but he would offer it to her on a silver platter so she could put an end to his misery, to the sharp pain that was killing every nerve in his body.
Sometimes it was better not to wake up. That was the option that would trump any other. If that happened, that fucking clock that run so fast wouldn’t have the opportunity of hurting him more. Sometimes it was better to disappear than to live among accusing glances. Because it wasn’t a crime to love a person younger than you. What did it matter? It was love and that was all. Just love.
He ended up lying down on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Losing his head for a second, he sighed through every memory: painful, entertaining, loving… mixed feelings. Love. It was love.
London. 2019
Glances
. Their eyes couldn’t separate. They had spent so long without seeing each other, without being aware of that love they had buried although it was always there, waiting for its turn. Sighs. Both of them sighed with the same purpose.
He knew they would see each other again, since going to Alicia and Gian’s wedding would be like going back to the past. But that wasn’t the worst part, since the real surprise for him was her being maid of honor and him best man, although that hadn’t been a surprise for her.
They would try to carry through, to enjoy the wedding somehow, although it was too complicated, especially because Corina and Alicia, who knew their story, were watching them from their spots as if they were waiting for some sort of approach. What nonsense. How could he get close to her when it was him who left her? Now he would love to take that back. Obviously, it was another mistake, since they could never go back to that time.
Chapter 18
London. 2015
Night fell and, with it, the dinner to announce the wedding between Chloe and Stefan. How was Elsa going to face those two people when one of them had been kissing her hours earlier? It was impossible to hide her disapproving expression, her hateful stare… It would be unlikely they couldn’t hear her wild heartbeat for his close proximity without being able to kiss him.
Elsa was in her bedroom, lying down in bed, thinking of him because he was the only thing on her mind. A knock on her door woke her up from her reverie. She got up nervously and approached the door. And even though she was dying to open and check if it was Stefan, she’d rather it wasn’t him. Her hands started shaking, same as her legs.
“Elsa, sweetie, are you there?” It was her father’s voice from the other side of the door.
Sighing while looking down, she opened and let him in. Leonard hugged her lovingly. They hadn’t seen each other since she came back because he had been working. They had a lot to talk about.
A part of her was telling her to confide in her father and tell him everything. Maybe that would be a great idea and, thus, she would stop the wedding. But another part of her, the one who was scared of his reaction, preferred to stay silent. They walked towards the bed and sat down.
“Sweetie, you are very quiet. What’s wrong?” Elsa shrugged. “Wow, it seems you wanted to stay in Venice,” he smiled, caressing her cheek.
“Something like that.”
“But?”
“It’s nothing, dad. It’s just that Stefan’s wedding took me by surprise. It’s not that I don’t want him to get married, because I don’t care what he does with his life, but… I think he is still young to…”
“Elsa, Elsa,” he interrupted her. “I know what you feel for him.” Elsa turned pale instantly. “I mean, you like him a lot and you probably don’t like Chloe, but she is a good woman who will make him happy.”
She exhaled all the air she didn’t know she had been holding. She almost had a heart attack when she thought that her father knew everything. It was so risky. She didn’t even dare to speak because she knew her voice would be shaky.
Her father respected her silence for a few minutes, but then hugged her again. He knew there was something going on with his daughter, but he couldn’t imagine, not even in his wildest dreams, that her daughter was feeling down because she was in love with his brother in law, that man he knew and who had seen Elsa grow up. What would happen if he knew? It was a question she couldn’t answer.
“Okay then. I’ll leave you alone so you can rest.” Leonard got up. “But don’t be long. Dinner is almost ready and everything is ready to go.”
Elsa nodded and he left the bedroom, leaving her alone, forlorn, pissed off, and every other bad feeling known to humankind. She rose to her feet and grabbed her notebook. She needed to pour on that blank page what she couldn’t scream, wishing to vent and let go of all the tension that was killing her before she had to go downstairs. Facing all of them wouldn’t be easy.
The idea of living without him hurts my soul.
The night I slept without him destroyed my dream.
The fight I started for him wasn’t worth the effort.
Later dreams ask for punishment.
Stupid tears spilled from her eyes as forcefully as she was writing. She wiped them, feeling angry with herself for being so weak and allowing that man to make her feel like that. She had to forget Stefan and accept that everything had been a figment of her imagination, instead of the big love she had thought.
Tired of being alone in her bedroom, she got up, bracing herself or, at least, trying to feel strong.
She went downstairs thinking she had done the most difficult part: leaving her bedroom. The rest would be a piece of cake. When she got to the foyer, someone was coming into the house. When she saw their joined hands, she stopped breathing.
Their eyes locked in a matter of seconds, the same seconds they used to avoid each other and play cool. Chloe was there and she could realize something was off, if she hadn’t realized it yet.
“Hi, Elsa. I’m glad to see you,” Chloe greeted her, giving her a peck in her cheek.
“Same,” she replied dryly, although she tried not to sound like that.
“How are you? I heard you and Alicia went on a trip to Venice. Is it as beautiful as in the pictures?” she said kindly, trying to make conversation.
“It’s a lot more beautiful, for sure.”
Stefan swallowed hard every couple of seconds while they chatted normally. He was very nervous, especially because Elsa would be sitting in front of him at the table while the memories of their night in Venice tortured him… Because he couldn’t forget the kisses, the caresses, and the feeling he experienced after feeling her skin to skin, even though they hadn’t made love.
They headed to the dining room. The table was ready, waiting for them to sit down. Corina, Leonard, and Alicia were already sitting at it. When they saw them entering together, they stood up quickly.
Alicia looked at Elsa sheepishly, since she had been the snitch who couldn’t keep her mouth closed. If she hadn’t said anything, nobody would be forcing her uncle to get married to a woman he didn’t love. But of course, she didn’t care. Her only task was to keep him apart from Elsa, even if she were hurting both of them in the process.
“Finally. You’ve taken your sweet time,” Corina expressed, walking towards her sister in law to greet her.
Stefan walked to his chair and sat down quietly, making Leonard confused. He didn’t know what was wrong with him, but it was obvious he wasn’t very happy about the wedding. It was more than obvious it felt like a chore to him. He wanted to get married, but not with Chloe and not at that moment. Stefan believed that every action needed the right moment, and that one hadn’t arrived yet.
“Uncle, are you okay?” Alicia enquired, looking worried.
“Yeah, sure. Why wouldn’t I be fine?” he asked dryly.
“Stefan, can we talk for a moment?” Leonard asked.
As soon as his brother in law started talking, he got instantly anxious. Maybe he knew? Stefan didn’t want to think much about it, let alone torture himself for something he wasn’t sure about. It couldn’t be. If Leonard had known, he would have yelled at him or punched him.
He nodded, getting up at the same time that Elsa took a seat across the table from him. They looked at each other for an instant, and Stefan disappeared in the kitchen with her father.
Alicia and Elsa were practically alone, since Corina and Chloe were talking animatedly in a corner of the room.
“Thank you for fucking up our lives, Ali,” Elsa muttered, looking at her with a raised eyebrow.
“It was for the better. You will thank me one day.”
Those words made Elsa turn to look at her with censure while Alicia continued staring in front of her as if nothing was going on. She didn’t care her stepsister was pissed off. She thought she would get over it soon, right when she found a new distraction. Alicia was convinced that her uncle was nothing but an entertainment for Elsa.
Els
a grabbed her arm, forcing her to look at her in the eyes. She deserved that at least. She hadn’t committed any crime. Falling in love for an older man wasn’t a crime, especially if both of them felt the same.
While they fought with their eyes, Stefan and Leonard were talking in the kitchen. Well, Leonard was talking and Stefan didn’t do any other thing but nod. The truth was that Stefan didn’t want to talk because he knew he wouldn’t last longer without spilling the beans himself. Likely, his brother in law would be unable to understand him.
“Are you listening, Stefan?”
Stefan looked at him and nodded, although he wasn’t really listening.
“If you don’t want to get married, don’t do it. You don’t have to be with a person you don’t love.”
“Why are you saying that?” he asked confused.
“Because I can see you are suffering,” he snorted angrily. “Look, Stefan, I know what I’m talking about and I think if you don’t love Chloe, you’d better cancel the whole thing. Think about it, but don’t take long because she doesn’t deserve to be hurt.”
He nodded once more while Leonard left the kitchen, leaving him alone. His head started spinning with everything his brother in law had said. If Leonard, who didn’t know the truth, had told him not to get married, why would he do it? He shouldn’t obey his sister, mainly because she also had her own secrets. And her daughter wouldn’t be thrilled to know those secrets.
Stefan wasn’t a person who liked blackmailing others, but his sister had blackmailed him just because he fell in love with the wrong girl.
He had to think and clear his ideas before he got married, before he joined his life to a woman he didn’t love. Before…
His mind went blank the moment she entered the kitchen and stayed in a corner, staring at him. They were alone, although not completely, and that was a great incentive not to get any closer.
Timeless love Page 11
