by S M Mala
‘Because.’
‘Because what?’
‘I like to.’ There was a blank expression on his face. ‘It makes me happy and I enjoy it. I don’t want a sex change. I don’t want to be a woman. I just like wearing dresses, make-up and heels. It’s liberating.’
‘After all the things you’ve said about life choices! You’re a bloody hypocrite!’ Bea looked down at her sari. ‘And this is the crap you want me to wear at my wedding? Well, why don’t you put it on?’ She started unravelling the garment as her father looked on in horror.
‘What are you doing?’
‘I’m not wearing this tomorrow. You can give it back to your ladies who obviously created it in the dark!’
‘People went to a lot of trouble to make that.’
‘I’m not ungrateful,’ she said, standing in the underskirt and ripped top, but it’s not me. And right now, I think it’s more up your street.’
She threw it on the sofa before folding her arms.
‘So you know, which I can tell you do, it never affected my marital relationship with your mother,’ he said, his cheeks flushing. ‘She actually like it.’
‘What? You wearing women’s clothing?’ Bea let out a long breath. ‘Who else knows?’
‘Barbara lends me old things though they are a little baggy.’
‘Auntie Babs!’
‘Yes, she is a lovely and supportive.’ Bernie cleared his throat. ‘You see, your mother found me wearing a dress quite exciting and it gave her much pleasure in the bedroom.’
‘Enough!’ she said, holding out her hand. ‘I don’t need to know that.’
‘People have little quirks when it comes to relationships, very much like Mylo did. I hope he respects certain bits of your anatomy.’
‘If you’re trying to ask, in your arse over tit way, whether he has sodomised me, then think again. My sticky out bum is purely for aesthetic purposes only.’ Bea shook her head. ‘Daddy! What a secret!’
‘Since your mother died, I don’t know what to think. It’s like I’ve been locked in my own little world and I miss her so much.’ He shook his head and Bea noticed the tears start to run down his cheeks. ‘She accepted me for who I am and that’s an amazing thing. At first she was confused but then realised it didn’t mean I loved her less, just more.’
‘Silly old fool!’ She ran towards him and put her arms around his shoulders as he silently wept. ‘I miss her so much. Tomorrow is going to be awful without her. I wish she was there. I want you to be there.’
‘Bea, I said-.’
‘She accepted you, warts and dresses and all. I accept that Mylo had a past and it’s just that, a past. He slept with a man and they had a relationship, adopting a little boy. It was really hard for me when I found out. I was more ashamed at my ignorance about him and jealousy. I was jealous he had such a close relationship with someone else.’
‘That’s different.’
‘Is it really that different?’ She looked at him as he frowned. ‘The difference is he didn’t keep it a secret but thought he should have done. He was so scared to tell me thinking the worst. And he was right. But I love him, like mummy loved you. We accept what’s different because then it makes the person perfect in our eyes.’
‘Do you really love him that much? Aren’t you worried?’
‘About what? I know he won’t cheat on me and I won’t on him. Daddy, like you said, he is gorgeous and has a matching heart to boot. Hopefully, we’ll have a happy marriage like you and mummy. But without the dresses.’
Her father started to laugh and pushed her hair out of her face.
‘I love you Beatrice. I worry that a man is going to break your heart. And I know since mummy died I haven’t been there for you all the time. The women keep on telling me that I need to look after you more so that’s what I’ve been doing.’
‘You’ve been concentrating on your new found faith, haven’t you?’ She noticed he grimaced. ‘It’s given you hope, hasn’t it?’
‘All those vegetables have given me nothing but wind!’ he said, shaking his head. ‘I never knew a human body could create so much!’ Bernie laughed. ‘It’s coming to terms with losing her that’s hard but I will get there. And you Bea? This sciatica thing that happens to you. It’s stress.’
‘It’s real pain.’
‘I believe it’s a way of dealing with the pain of losing mummy.’ Her father moved closer. ‘Do you still speak to her?’
‘Every day.’
‘What does she say?’
‘Not much.’ Bea shrugged and shook her head. ‘I wish this was all different but it’s not.’
‘I think I was a little harsh to Mylo. It was the shock.’
‘You got him spied on a day after you first met him,’ she said, eyeing him with deep suspicion. ‘I suspect you thought I didn’t know and wanted to make a point.’
‘But you did. Anyway, this man I met for the first time, then turns around and proposes to you in my living room. I had to find out more.’
‘Calling the man I love horrible names in front of his mother?’ Bea smiled, elbowing him in the ribs. ‘That wasn’t nice.’
‘I’ll apologise to Jessica.’
‘When?’
Her mobile rang and it was Mylo.
‘Is he okay?’ Mylo asked sounding upset. ‘Bea? Are you at the hospital? Is there anything I can do?’
‘Oh, he’s fine and we’re home,’ she said quietly, looking at her father grimace at the sari and then at her. ‘I need to make sure he’s okay then I’ll be right back.’ She started to laugh. ‘He was feeling, how can I put it? A little queer.’
Her daddy smiled.
‘Morning.’
As she opened her eyes, Mylo was looking at her. Bea turned and realised Kayden wasn’t there. ‘He didn’t crawl into our bed last night.’ His hand went straight up her nightdress. ‘Which means my morning glory is going to get worshipped.’
‘Hang on there.’ She stopped his hand. ‘We have tonight to do the sex thing.’
‘I was very tempted to try and make love while you were sleeping.’
‘You little charmer,’ she grinned then the image of her father in a dress flashed into her head, making her laugh.
‘You’ve been laughing to yourself since you came back from your dad’s. What happened?’
‘Other than a fake heart attack because he ate a spicy chicken shawarma, nothing. I think he might be coming to the wedding.’
‘I want to come now,’ he mumbled, heading for her inner thighs.
‘Mylo!’
He launched himself on her, pushing up her nightdress.
‘Can’t you wait?’ she laughed out loudly as he started to touch her up.
‘I am seriously excited about the wedding.’
‘I have no dress,’ she replied, letting out a deep breath. ‘I have underwear but nothing to cover it.’
‘Just wear that.’ Mylo’s cheeks started to turn pink. ‘That would be a turn on.’
‘It would also let others know I don’t have a secret penis.’ Bea grinned while he pulled a face. ‘Someone is bound to ask.’
‘You have got a penis,’ he said, kissing her breasts. ‘Mine.’
‘Mummy! Daddy!’ shouted out Kayden, running into the bedroom and making Mylo stop. ‘Are you playing?’
‘He’s trying to,’ she said, gently pushing Mylo away. ‘You slept all night in your bed. Do you like it?’
‘It’s very comfy but I missed cuddling you and daddy.’ Then he ran and jumped on the bed as she grinned at Mylo, who was trying to hide his hard on.
‘Not there,’ he said, when Kayden tried to sit on him. ‘Go sit on her.’
‘I like sitting on mummy,’ Kayden said, looking down at Bea.
‘I like it when mummy sits on me,’ Mylo cheekily added and pulled a face. ‘What time are you going to get your nails done?’
‘Ten then I’m getting my hair and make-up at one o’clock so I can then see if a sheet would
make a nice wedding dress,’ she yawned as Kayden lay on her, giving a big cuddle. ‘That’s nice.’
‘I like it too.’
‘I wish I could do that,’ said Mylo, getting out of bed. ‘I’m going to have a cold shower.’
She watched him walk into the bathroom, checking out his arse.
‘Today, you have to look after daddy. Make sure he doesn’t get drunk before the wedding so keep an eye on Uncle Matty. You’re a very important part of the ceremony.’ Bea kissed his head and smiled as Kayden looked up at her. He seemed worried. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘They won’t come and take me away, will they?’
‘You mean daddy Cole?’ She shook her head from side to side. ‘He can’t take you away, not now and certainly not from me. You’re with us for the time being. Are you happy here?’ He nodded and started to smile. ‘And if you stay, we have to sort out a school for you.’
‘Do I have to go to school? I don’t have to if you don’t want me to.’
‘Kayden, you’re a smart boy and I need to show the world how clever you are.’ Bea cuddled him. ‘And I want to meet all the new friends you’ll make. Will you miss your friends back in Chicago?’
‘The only person I miss is daddy but I can see him every day now.’ Her heart skipped a beat on hearing his sweet words. ‘And then I can start to speak like him.’
‘He’s got an Irish accent.’
‘I can have one too. Listen.’ He sat up and cleared his throat. ‘Top of the morning to you!’
He sounded like her father when he tried to put on an Indian accent.
‘That’s very good,’ she said, starting to laugh. ‘But I like how you speak. Cute American accents are endearing and you sound like your grandma.’ Bea checked the time. ‘I better get showered and changed after daddy.’
‘Bea,’ Kayden said, sitting up. ‘Do you want to be my mummy?’
‘Of course I do.’
‘And when you get married, will you have babies?’
‘Ah.’ She didn’t know what to say. ‘One day we might.’
‘Good because they better be girls. I don’t like boys. They’re mean.’
‘Not all of them,’ she said as Mylo stepped back into the room butt naked and towel dried his hair. ‘I like one in particular.’ He raised his eyes in response and looked down at his dick. ‘Though what he has on his mind all the time is a little worrying.’
‘Is this a family thing?’
Bea was startled when Rachel Dewhurst jumped out in front of her as she walked back from the beauticians. All she could concentrate on is not smudging her nail varnish so was shaking her hands frantically. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I needed to speak to you.’ Rachel looked upset and glanced down at the pavement. ‘I know this isn’t the right thing to do on your wedding day but I need to know.’
‘Know what?’
‘Did you sleep with Henry?’
‘Pardon me?’
‘Are you having an affair with him?’
‘No!’ Bea shouted, aghast by the question. ‘And he better not have said that I did because-.’
The woman started to cry.
It wasn’t a quiet murmur but a large and loud sob.
‘Come with me,’ Bea said, pulling her away from on lookers and into a nearby, quiet, road.
This was the last thing she needed after discovering her father’s dressing up secret the night before.
‘I have never touched Henry other than putting sun cream on his back at his request. I’m in love with Mylo and would never cheat. I’m sorry you seem to feel that I might have done something when I haven’t.’
‘He says he thinks you’re amazing and that he loves you.’
‘Henry loves everyone.’
‘But not me!’ shrilled Rachel as Bea tried not to squint at the terrible sound coming from her mouth. ‘And I know you’ve got something to do with it.’
‘I have not!’ Bea decided she was too stressed out and tired to deal with this while shaking her hands in the air. ‘Mrs Dewhurst, you have behaved appallingly towards Chloe. She has been so upset in the past year and a half since I’ve known her and you’ve done nothing to help. Had you pulled your head out of your romantic arse, you would see that she loves you and needs your attention.’
‘How dare you speak to me like that!’ the woman barked. ‘I’ll tell the headmaster and-.’
‘And what?’ You’ve come to where I live to start a quarrel, on my wedding day, when it’s a time of happiness. Not some heart wrench over the fact that your young lover doesn’t want to settle down. He’s not a replacement for your husband and don’t forget your obligation as a mother, first and foremost. I lost my mother a few years back and I’d give anything to have her with me, here, right now. Don’t lose sight of what’s important.’
Bea stepped back and knew that was a vent and a half.
She felt her breathing emotionally wobble in the aftermath.
‘Come with me,’ she said, grabbing Rachel’s arm and taking her towards the house. ‘You’re in no fit state to be seen like this.’
Walking through the door, Mylo and Kayden stopped to a halt on their way out.
‘We’re just going to get…’ Mylo looked at Rachel. ‘Is everything okay?’
‘This is Henry’s friend,’ Bea whispered, watching Kayden frown at the woman. ‘She’s a little upset and thinks Henry has been playing around with me.’
‘Mummy and daddy like to play too,’ said Kayden, starting to smile. ‘They were playing in bed this morning and-.’
‘Enough,’ Mylo said, putting a hand over Kayden’s mouth. ‘I need to pop out to pick up the button holes. I’m Mylo by the way.’ He smiled. ‘Henry’s a lovely guy.’
That made Rachel cry even louder, much to the shock of all three in the room.
‘We better go.’ Grabbing Kayden’s hand, he dragged him out the door as the little boy looked at them.
‘Why is she crying? Doesn’t she like mummy playing?’ he innocently asked. ‘Does he jump on her like you do?’
‘You don’t want to know.’
The door slammed shut but not before Mylo glanced at Bea with a wry smile.
‘He has a book with drawings of your breasts,’ gulped Rachel, wiping her face with a tissue. ‘The book is half full.’
‘I was topless on the beach with my man next to me. We spent time with Henry and he was kind as I had a hiccup on the first couple of days. He also knows one of my good friends. It’s very innocent and above board.’ Bea looked at her fingernails which were now dry. ‘I’m not supposed to be using my hands but would you like a cup of tea?’
Rachel Dewhurst shook her head from side to side and stared at Bea.
‘He’s a wonderful man,’ the woman said, gulping hard. ‘I’m not the free spirit I thought I was. I need security and stability. You don’t get that with Henry. Maybe if he were older I might.’
‘That’s not why you were attracted to him in the first place. It was probably down to his sense of freedom and fun. He’s only twenty-eight and still finding his feet. The guy is lucky, he doesn’t have to work.’
‘But that was the problem in my marriage. My husband worked non-stop and I was left with Chloe all the time, on my own. I know it paid for the house and all the holidays but I wanted him there, and he wasn’t. Now Henry would rather be elsewhere.’ She sunk down onto the couch. ‘And I know I’ve failed with Chloe. I don’t need reminding again and again.’
Bea walked up to her and sat down, looking at the dishevelled woman who seemed at a loss on what to do.
She realised her wedding day was not going to go to plan.
‘Chloe is having a hard time at school, mainly because the other girls are jealous of her. She’s intelligent, beautiful and creative. All the boys drool but she only has eyes for one, Bruno. I think what Chloe and I have in common is that we miss our mothers. I can’t get my mother back but Chloe can have you, if you want.’
Suddenly a
pang of despair hit her chest. It hadn’t happened for weeks and she thought it had stopped. From how she was feeling, it was far from it.
‘I know you have helped Chloe but I think…’ There was some hesitation. ‘She dotes on you, what you say and do. I hate the fact that my relationship with her has disintegrated and I want it to go back to how it was but she’s so angry with me, with everyone.’
‘She’s sixteen and doesn’t quite know where she fits in the world, that’s all. All the people she thought would be there aren’t and this makes it harder for her. Remember when you were that age? It’s a bleak place if you think you’re on your own.’ Bea smiled. ‘Chloe thinks she’s an adult but she is still a child in so many ways. She needs her mother. You should be there for each other.’ Then she cleared her throat, knowing what she had to say. ‘Forget about Henry. There’ll be others and probably more suitable but take some time to get over the loss of your marriage. It’s pretty much like losing a loved one, you need time to heal.’
Rachel started crying again and Bea put her arm around her shoulders.
The doorbell rang and she slowly got to her feet to open the door.
Chloe was standing on her doorstep, looking ashen.
‘Is mum here? I know she was coming to see you. I told her not to but-.’
‘I’m here.’ Rachel walked up to them. ‘I’m sorry Miss Mayon for confronting you.’ She gulped back more tears. ‘I should just call it a day and concentrate on what I need to.’ Staring at Chloe, she smiled. ‘We better head off home and leave Miss Mayon to get ready for her wedding.’
‘You are still coming, aren’t you?’ Bea asked, looking at Chloe’s sad expression for her mother. ‘I think it might be fun.’
‘I’m not sure,’ Rachel said, shaking her head.
‘I love you mum,’ Chloe said, looking tearful. ‘I want you to be happy, I really do.’
‘I’m sorry and-.’
‘It’s okay,’ Chloe replied, gulping hard. ‘I’m sorry too.’
‘She’s the most important thing, right now,’ Bea whispered to Rachel. ‘And you Chloe, make the most of your mum. You know how I feel about losing mine and her not being here today. Appreciate what you’ve got before it’s too late.’
