“Ristan has to go on without Olivia, and I promised him I would protect her.”
“No, you promised that you’d do every-fucking-thing you could do to protect her, to do your best, and that’s what you did. Ristan knows that, even if he can’t admit it yet. You saved his son. You did what you could for them. He has a part of her now because of you.”
“Eliran?” I asked thickly.
“He knew he might not make it out of this alive. He did his job to save us so we could be here to fight this war. He served his purpose with dignity and honor, even though he wasn’t a warrior. He died proudly protecting the babes.”
“Sevrin?” I wiped at the tears.
“He went out fighting for his family, and he wouldn’t want it any other way. He asked to stay to protect you.”
I tore my gaze away from Ryder’s, hating that he didn’t blame me for failing, even though I knew how stupid it was to feel that way. Asher and his brothers and sister stood over a wrapped up body, and I turned to Ryder, hissing as the needle stuck in my cheek.
“I’m sorry. You keep moving.” Finley grimaced.
“It is fine, Finley. Who is Asher standing with?” I asked Ryder.
“Emric; his brother fell in the battle outside the walls. I heard we have a new Light King. I’m guessing that will put a hitch in Adam breeding with them, now won’t it?”
“If Asher and his army weren’t here, we would have lost the castle,” I admitted.
“But they were because I’d told him to come here instead of joining me. I fought for days, and when Bilé failed to show, I feared that he’d figured out our plan. Even though I hoped I was wrong, I had a feeling he was coming here, but I never sensed your panic. No storms hit us, no strange weather formed to even hint that you were in turmoil. You didn’t want me to feel you, which suggested you were doing okay. I asked the men where you might have neglected to protect the castle, and they said you did everything right. Don’t second-guess your decisions or blame yourself. Use the anger, Synthia. Use it to fight the son of a bitch who took from us.”
“We need to address the crowd and burn our dead.” I stared at where Ristan held his son next to Olivia’s body. The child’s tail was wrapped around his wrist, while Ristan held him against his chest, silently staring at his wife as tears flowed down his cheeks. “He needs us now.”
“He needs everyone,” Ryder said with conviction, noting where I stared. “We have kings to crown, and you need rest so that your injuries heal. We all need rest,” he uttered. “Lucian has his men here, and Erie has released the Raven Guard to protect us as we recover from the attack. Her army was created to guard her against the gods. Callaghan is also here, avoiding Erie like the fucking plague. We will be okay. Do you hear me? I love you, woman. I couldn’t ask for more than what you did today. You stood tall, and you kicked ass. No one else could have done what you did.”
I turned in my chair to study Erie. Her wild, red war braids were frayed from battle, and she made them look natural, wildly untamable, but she owned them. She carried the scent of fresh grass with a hint of rain. It reminded me of how Ireland smelled just before the brilliant blue skies would open, and a torrential downpour would come out of nowhere. Erie was as wild as the land after which Callaghan had named her. Much like its weather, she was unpredictable. Her vivid eyes held mine as she smiled, stepping closer.
“Goddess of the Fae, you will be a fucking menace when you learn how to handle your full powers. Honestly, Synthia. I had no idea how to even call the Raven Guard back to me, but you helped me today. You ignited my need to fight with you. I have avoided it without my memories, but now? Now I know I can fight beside you and totally kick some ass. Death is a part of war, I know. Trust me, I’ve been in so many battles they’ve all blended together, and I don’t even know if they’re my memories or those of the warriors within me.” Erie stared absently across the pyres and scowled from her silent position beside me. “Is that male an enemy? His head would be perfect for my freezer.”
I followed her gaze to where Asher stood and furrowed my brow. “That’s Asher, the Light King, and he’s family now.”
“Damn,” she muttered, turning to stare at the man moving toward us, who stopped to stand beside Ryder. Callaghan’s heated blue eyes settled on Erie, slipping down her slight frame with longing burning in their depths. “That’s my cue to go.”
“You guys are good, right?” I questioned, observing their stiffened body language.
“We’ve called a truce for now,” Callaghan admitted, his tone rumbling through me as Erie let her gaze rove over his armor-covered frame. “See anything you like, woman?”
“I see something that belongs to me. I’m deciding if I should claim it or not.” Erie smirked, shrugging her porcelain shoulders covered in woad.
“Callaghan,” Thanatos called, staring at the warrior before his head turned toward Erie.
“What the fuck do you want?” Callaghan asked, observing Erie, who narrowed her eyes on Thanatos as if she was trying to place him.
“Erie, you look wild and untamable as usual,” Thanatos said.
Erie’s lips pursed together, her gaze slowly sliding down Thanatos before dismissing him outright as uninteresting. “Peace out, bitches. I’m going to go drink until I forget the taste of birds flying out my mouth. I seemed to have forgotten how they taste as they’re freed, and it isn’t pleasant.” Wiggling her fingers in the air, she spun on her heel and headed to where Zahruk stood quietly in front of Darynda’s pyre, staring at Savlian, who stood sentinel over his brother Sevrin in death.
“Erie didn’t know who the fuck you were,” Callaghan said to Thanatos cryptically, drawing my gaze to his. Thanatos studied Erie’s back as she skipped away with the carefreeness of a child instead of a millennium-old goddess.
“The Mórrígan didn’t remember my name until Synthia had growled it, calling me out of the shadows. I thought it was strange that she didn’t say more or try to murder me. All things considered, she isn’t my biggest fan.”
“If you two are finished, I need to say a few words to the crowd and send our dead off.” Ryder stood, and I watched him moving to address the crowd, grief marring his features. He looked defeated, and it was unsettling to witness it written on his beautiful face.
“You realize that you and I are not finished, right?” I stood to look at Thanatos.
“This one isn’t on me, Synthia,” Thanatos said, bristling with unease as he took in the grief in my stare.
“You took thousands of warriors, so why come for our family?” I asked, hating the tears that burned my eyes.
“I heard their cries, but I didn’t take them. Bilé did. He had already claimed them before I got here to do it. I’m not the only God of Death inside Faery right now, Synthia. I tried to save their souls before he could take them. You want a way to hurt Bilé? He took the soul of an angel today. That is forbidden and against the laws of the gods. Only heaven can reclaim her, and until they do, she will not rest. No,” he said when my head tilted and my eyes narrowed at his words. “Olivia left of her own free will. That which is dead cannot be raised again. She is gone forever, but her eternal rest is not guaranteed until she enters heaven. Use her loss, because he has violated the laws unknowingly by taking her angelic soul.”
I twisted in my seat, staring out over the crowd that listened as Ryder said the prayers of the fae and a blessing for the dead warriors. He stared proudly over the army he’d brought together, and now they formed a deeper bond in the grief we shared. This fight wasn’t over. It was just getting started, and it would be a long one.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Death had a way of changing people, forcing them to learn a new normal. Ryder spoke before the entire horde. The grief he felt remained hidden until he reached the names of his fallen brothers. Dristan was a hard hit, harder than Olivia wa
s for us. She’d been a part of the family, but Dristan, he was Ryder’s baby brother.
Ryder murdered his father to protect his brothers and sister from Alazander, and as a result, he became king. He’d protected them all long before that day. Sevrin was another loss Ryder was struggling to accept, and each name he called out loud added weight to my chest until it felt like I’d never breathe again.
Ryder stumbled over Dristan’s name again as everyone watched. I swallowed past the tears threatening to drown me, moving to the middle of the glowing funeral pyres. Fairy lights lit throughout the courtyard and beyond the gate, where we’d been unable to accommodate enough room for the dead. Zahruk surveyed me carefully, his hand on Darynda’s heavily wrapped corpse. Unshed tears swam in his eyes for the woman he’d once cared for, and in death, he’d refused to leave her side.
Lifting my hand, I directed the wind until it blew gently through the kingdom, letting the power of Faery glow from within me. All around, people turned their attention to me, watching in wonder as tiny pixies carried flowers through the air, dropping them onto the dead, honoring their sacrifice. I called to the rain, drenching the world surrounding us without allowing its showers to touch any of us. Faery also wept for the heavy losses of those who had been taken from us too soon.
The skies sang with the wind, howling in mourning at the pain, sharing our sorrow. Those around us lifted their eyes to the heavens, bereaved in grief, yet able to see the beauty of our home. My body pulsed with raw power, calling back the souls from the vile god who had stolen them. My hand lifted in the air once more, and tiny glowing balls of light escaped from each corpse, forming a spiritual representation of the dead. My vision swam with unshed tears, uncaring who saw that I grieved the loss of my family and trusted friends.
I was aware of Ryder’s comforting presence at my back. I had taken the spotlight off of him, allowing him a moment to grieve his brothers without the judgmental stares of the crowd. I sensed his inner turmoil, his pain, and worse, I felt his anger. I could sense the magnitude of heartache at the loss of entire kingdoms that had been brought to their knees.
Trees swayed, their weeping branches alight with glowing pixies who watched me as I filled the world with a song to mark the passing of our people. Karliene’s The Unquiet Grave played through the air as if a loudspeaker had replaced the clouds, and the heavens of Faery sang. Fire leapt to life in the torches as the voice began to sing. The wind continued, ruffling hair and the swathes of cloth that covered the dead. The skies displayed a multitude of vibrant colors, bathing Faery in a blanket of unmatched beauty.
Stepping forward, I called the first soul to me. My eyes closed, and my heart clenched tightly as if an invisible hand had ripped into my chest, continually squeezing it. I opened my eyes to stare into a beautiful forest-green gaze. Tears slipped free of the precarious hold I’d had on them, and my legs threatened to give out as pain ripped through me with immense sorrow, leaving me broken in tiny, useless pieces.
“Who would have ever thought that you, a former guild enforcer, who hunted down fae, would be the one to send me to the Otherworld, Synthia?” Dristan asked, his ghostly lips turning up at the corners into a sad smile. His hand lifted, cradling my cheek as he studied me without accusation or judgment for failing to protect him.
A thick scent of earth and sandalwood danced in my senses the moment he touched me. He observed me with love burning in the depths of his gaze. His hand felt warm, alive even though he was merely a soul now. He was a beautiful soul. He was one that couldn’t remain here to wander Faery until he became nothing more than an angry spirit. I wouldn’t allow that to happen.
“Dristan,” I whispered, thick with emotion, searching for the words I needed to say. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I failed you.”
“It’s okay. I’m okay with my fate. I need you to keep Ryder grounded for me.” He nodded to where Ryder studied me through narrowed eyes, unable to see the souls that lined the courtyard. Each soul had returned, all except for one. The soul who didn’t belong to Faery, and couldn’t be summoned to send to the Otherworld, since Olivia didn’t belong there. My hand lifted, gently pushing Dristan’s hair away from his face before he leaned over, kissing my lips. “I knew my fate the moment we watched you walked out onto the battlefield. I sensed it coming for me. I stayed in that tower to protect the children. We all did, that’s on us. Not you. Don’t carry my death with you. Use the anger of our deaths to win this war against those who trespassed against us. Ryder is right: use it, Goddess.
“We did not die in vain. We died protecting our family, which is worth fighting for. If asked if I would do it again, knowing my outcome would be death, I would do it time and time again, without hesitation.” Dristan’s hands cupped my face between them as he nodded while holding my gaze. “We will meet again, you and me. When the world is right, and the time comes, I will be reborn into the same bloodline. The horde is a part of me, and you are now a part of it as well. Tell Ryder to keep fighting, keep moving forward, and don’t grieve too long for those he lost, because the future you are fighting for is worth more than the lives he has lost in this fight.”
I nodded slowly, aware that I looked like an idiot speaking to the ghost no one else could see. It wasn’t until Thanatos stepped up beside me that my heart kicked into overdrive. Panic erupted within me, and I shook my head violently as the reality of why he’d come struck me. He had known I’d call our dead back to this place because I was one of the few who could do so.
“Not yet,” I whispered.
“He’s ready to move on,” Thanatos said softly, holding his hand out for Dristan to accept as he held my panicked gaze. “He will be given peace for the sacrifice he made protecting his family and kingdom. He will be given a place of honor at my side within the Realm of the Dead. You have to let him go now, Synthia.”
“I’m not ready.”
“You’re not, but he is. You can never prepare for death, sweet Goddess. No one is ever ready to say goodbye to their loved ones when death comes for them. Dristan knows what you want to say, they all do. You think you owe them an explanation, but you don’t. They sense your grief and know the price you’re paying for loving them. The pain you endure after such a loss? That, in itself, is the ultimate price for having loved a soul. Look at them,” Thanatos said encouragingly. His words forced me to stare at the other souls we’d lost, gathered around us, smiling at me.
Keir, Adam’s father, held his wife at his side while his sons and daughters stood behind him, staring at Adam, who still stood sentinel at the foot of their large funeral pyre.
My father, Lasair, stood beside Madisyn, who had carried me in her womb, witnessing my powers even though I wasn’t her biological daughter. Their eyes were bright with pride, even as their ghostly images shimmered in and out of sight with the wind.
Sevrin stood beside Dristan, his smile firmly in place as his hand cupped my cheek.
“Watch over Savlian, keep him busy. You got this. You know that. You can let us go because we’re okay now. You did everything you could, and you got there in time to save the babes. That’s all we had hoped to achieve at that moment. You weren’t the only one who felt Death creeping through the hallways of the stronghold. Be brave, Goddess, and keep them safe. I couldn’t have asked for a better death than to die, protecting the ones I loved most in this life.”
“We still need you,” I whispered brokenly.
“No, you want us. You don’t need us. Miss us, but don’t be sad forever. Death is a part of living, even for immortals.” I stared at Sevrin, shaking my head as he reached up, wiping away the silent tears I cried. “Destiny is preordained, but sometimes it changes. You changed this world when you came into Faery, and you made it better. You made us better, Synthia. Don’t weep for us, for we are free, sister of mine.” Smiling, he stepped back, then took Thanatos’s hand and vanished.
I g
asped as a sob echoed through my chest, escaping my lips. I brought my hand to my mouth, covering the cries that tried to escape. One by one, the dead began to vanish from this world the moment they touched Thanatos’s outstretched hand. I stood, silently observing until Darynda stood in front of me. Her green eyes glittered, turning to Dristan with a mischievous smile.
“I think I flirted with the wrong brother for too long and ended up missing out on the one I actually wanted. Now I get him. I mean, who else is going to feed him in the afterlife?” She smirked, batting thick black lashes flirtatiously toward Dristan, who grinned.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, taking in her beauty, even in death. “I should have been inside the tower.”
“To do what, die with us? Bilé isn’t a normal god, Synthia. I’m glad you weren’t there, because death for us isn’t the end. We will be reborn. We need you to fight for this world so that can happen. I served you well as my queen, but you are my friend first. You taught me much, and also got me addicted to caffeine, which I’ve been assured is readily available in the place we are going. Sevrin was right. We’re the lucky ones and our fight is over, but yours is just beginning. Thank you for being my friend.” She placed her hand into Thanatos’s and vanished before I could reply.
I studied Cailean, my broody protector since the moment I was born, as his soul approached, gazing at me in with pride. “From Blood Princess to Queen of the Horde, and now Goddess of the Fae. It’s been an honor to guard and serve you and keep you safe until you no longer needed me, Sorcha.”
“I thought you were here…” Cailean smiled sadly, shaking his head before he too vanished without an explanation of how he’d been elsewhere.
My father stepped up next, touching my shoulder before he bowed his head. “Don’t cry for us. One day, you will stand where I am, feeling your child’s pain at your loss. You will wish to take it from them with everything you have inside of you. Nothing can take away the pain or assuage the grief you are feeling. I am glad that I got to know you, and that you will continue long after I am gone. Liam will need you now more than ever, and I am glad that you remain with him. We love you, daughter. I couldn’t be prouder to call you mine,” he expressed, placing his hand into Thanatos’s as his blue eyes locked with mine in sadness I didn’t want or need.
Embracing Destiny Page 22
