Wishing death would take me, I placed my hands on the bed and gingerly tried to rise to my feet without slipping in my own vomit.
I’d been wrong, this was what rock bottom looked like.
I managed to get myself into the shower, standing under the hot spray until I began to feel marginally human again, then went out to clean up my mess. I could have made a pledge do it, but not only was I not that much of an asshole, I was embarrassed enough to not want anyone to know what a mess I was.
Once I’d cleaned up as best I could, I opened my window to try and air out the stench of booze, sweat, and barf, and went downstairs in search of water and the most potent extra-strength headache medicine I could find.
Maybe some crackers.
I caught myself from falling halfway down the stairs and took the rest of the steps slowly, cautiously, my hand gripping the rail.
“Holy shit!” I exclaimed when I reached the bottom and looked around.
The house was trashed.
My hands flew to my head as I walked through, noting a hole in the wall, and debris everywhere.
“What the hell happened last night?” I asked the first pledge I came upon who was shoving empty beer cans into a large black trash bag.
“After you and that girl left things kinda went nuts. Crush came back, pissed about being kicked out of Delta. He punched the wall and started screaming about wanting to fight. He called out every brother, including you, but no one took him up on it, so he kept on breaking stuff.”
“Jesus,” I muttered, trying to remember the kid’s name, but unable to think with the clanging in my head. “Wait, what girl did I leave with?”
I tried to think back, but came up blank.
“Uh, the really tall one … she hangs around here a lot, always wearing something tight, to uh, show off her assets if you get what I mean.”
“Bella? Caitlyn?” I asked, hoping like hell nothing happened. I mean, I’d woken up alone, but that didn’t mean I started out that way.
“Yeah, Caitlyn, that’s the one,” he replied with a snap of his fingers. “Karrie didn’t look too happy about it either, but I guess you don’t care, since you broke up.”
“What?” I asked, but flashes of the night started coming back to me.
Drinking … lots of drinking.
Me yelling at Karrie and breaking up with her publicly.
Her standing there looking devastated, trying to get me to calm down and talk privately.
Pulling Caitlyn to me and leading her out of the party in hopes of making Karrie jealous.
Karrie waiting for me in my room.
And, the last thing I heard before passing out … “I was falling in love with you.”
“Fuck,” I muttered, running my hand roughly over my face. “What did I do?”
“You basically told everyone she was just using you to get back at Drake, and to leave you alone and never come back to Delta.”
I looked at him blandly.
“It was a rhetorical question.”
“Oh, sorry,” he said sheepishly and went back to cleaning up.
I turned and ran back upstairs, trying my best not to throw up again even though my stomach was jostled with every step.
I grabbed my wallet and keys and hurried back downstairs to snag that water and medicine, before heading out to talk to Karrie.
I drove slowly, hoping like hell I didn’t get pulled over, because with as much alcohol as I’d consumed over the weekend, I couldn’t be sure I’d puked it all out. The last thing I needed was to get pulled over.
I made it to Karrie’s in one piece and rushed to her apartment, not having the first clue what to say to make things right, only knowing I had to try.
I took a deep breath, hoping I didn’t still have alcohol coming out of my pores, and raised my fist to knock on the door.
After a few seconds, I knocked again.
The door didn’t open, but I thought I heard movement on the other side, so I placed my palm on the door, leaned in, and called, “Karrie?”
Nothing.
“Karrie, it’s Ridge … I just want to talk.”
I stepped back when I heard the knob being turned, but instead of Karrie standing on the other side, Mina stood there, glaring back at me.
“Hey, Mina, is Karrie here?” I asked tentatively, hoping I wasn’t about to get kicked in the balls, cause it kinda looked like she was leaning that way.
“Not for you,” she replied, jutting her hip out and crossing her arms over her chest.
“Come on, Mina, I need to apologize and clear things up,” I pleaded, not too proud to beg.
Mina nodded and agreed, “Yes, you do. But not right now … not today. She needs some space to think.”
“At least tell me if she’s doing okay.”
“She’s fine, Ridge. What, do you think you broke her?” Mina chuckled dryly. “It’ll take more than some asshole to keep my girl down. Now, I’m gonna close this door and you’re going to go. You won’t call or text Karrie, you’ll give her the time she needs to figure out what she wants.”
“I didn’t mean it,” I told her, needing to clear the air, even if it was with Karrie’s best friend and not her. “I fucked up and acted like a jerk. I should have talked to her instead of flying off the handle. And, what I did last night … I’m so fucking sorry.”
“All of that is true, and Karrie being the sweet and compassionate person she is will probably hear you out and maybe even forgive you. But, not today. Got it?” she asked, and I would’ve been impressed by her loyalty and resolve if she wasn’t what was standing in between me and Karrie.
“I got it,” I replied, then sighed and turned to leave.
“Ridge,” Mina called, and I turned back quickly, full of hope.
“Groveling, and presents … lots of presents,” she said, and shut the door.
Thirty-Eight
Karrie
“Karrie!”
I stopped my descent down the concrete steps and turned to see who was calling me.
I sighed as another Delta pledge came running over carrying a small pink bag with matching tissue paper sticking out.
“Oh, thank God, my next class is in five minutes and I worried I’d missed you,” he said, shoving the bag at me.
I didn’t want to make him late, so I took it, even though I had no intention of opening it. It could go on our kitchen counter along with the other three bags, two gift boxes, and four bouquets of flowers I’d received from Ridge over the last five days.
I continued across campus, head down, wondering if it was time for me to talk to Ridge. Mina had told me everything he’d said, even though it was unnecessary, since I’d been standing on the other side of the door, listening.
Still, I trusted her and wanted her perspective.
Although she was pissed at him, and wanted more information about why he acted the way he had, and thought he needed to do a lot of apologizing to make it up to me, she said she believed Ridge was sincere.
I just wasn’t sure I was ready to face him yet.
“Karrie!”
I heard my name called again and stopped without looking around.
“Seriously? If it’s another pledge with a gift…” I muttered under my breath. But, it wasn’t a pledge, it was Drake.
Great.
“What do you want?” I asked, cinching my backpack tighter.
“Hey, how’s it going?” Drake asked, smiling at me in the way I used to find charming.
“Fine,” I replied curtly. “What’s up?”
“Nothing, you on your way home?”
“Yeah.”
“Cool, I’ll walk with you,” he said, and I looked at him in confusion.
“Why?”
Drake just grinned at me and fell into step next to me when I started walking. “So, I heard about the party at Delta last weekend. Pretty crazy…”
“Oh yeah?” I replied, not really wanting to talk to him about this … or anything.
“Yup, and I have some good news.”
“What’s that?” I asked, picking up the pace in hopes of ending this walk sooner rather than later.
“I ended it with Sharna,” he said, watching me expectantly.
“I assume Sharna’s the girl you’ve been seeing,” I replied, wondering why he was telling me this.
“Yup, and after I heard what Ridge said at the party, I realized what a mistake I’d made, so I ended it. Now we’re free to get back together.”
I stopped walking and my jaw dropped. “Say what now?”
“I know you were just with him to make me jealous, and I gotta tell you, I appreciate the effort. I mean, the fact that you loved me so much you were willing to hang around that asshole in order to make me crazy? It totally worked.”
“You’re kidding?” I said, because honestly, what the hell?
“No, I’m serious. Plus, you’re shit hot … I don’t know what influence Ridge had on that, but I’m not mad about the sexy little outfits, especially if you’re wearing them for me and not him.”
I gaped at him, unable to respond.
“Hanging at Delta with Ridge and getting your little makeover really improved your clout. I think we could really be a power couple this time around,” he added, and that was it, I wanted to punch him in his stupid face.
“Clout?” I asked, unable to take him seriously.
Drake nodded.
“So, whattaya say? Wanna hang out tonight?”
I blinked, then snapped my fingers in front of his face.
“Wake up! No, Drake, I do not want to hang out tonight, or any other night for that matter. I’m not pining for you and I don’t want to get back together. I’m sorry if you believed something that Ridge said when he was drunk at a party, but the thought of being with you again just made me throw up in my mouth. You dumped me out of the blue, moved on immediately, and it turns out you were cheating on me during our entire relationship. I deserve better than you.”
Drake’s expression morphed from happy, to shocked, to pissed while I spoke. It would have been comical if I wasn’t so frustrated.
“Like who, Ridge?” Drake scoffed, no longer Mr. Nice Guy. “Looks like he doesn’t want you either. You ever think maybe you’re the problem, Karrie?”
“You know what, Drake, I don’t want to have this discussion with you anymore, and the great thing is … I don’t have to. Goodbye,” I said, leaving him behind and jogging the rest of the way home.
I slammed into the apartment and threw the gift bag onto the counter.
“You good?” Mina asked, coming out to see what the commotion was about.
“Why are men so freakin’ stupid?” I seethed.
“I think it has something to do with their cocks. It’s really the only explanation.”
Thirty-Nine
Ridge
“You okay?”
I looked up from my desk to see Wes standing in my doorway.
“Uh, yeah, pretty good. How ‘bout you?” I asked, scooting my chair back and turning toward him.
He stepped into the room and put his hands in his pockets.
“I tried talking to Mom, but she’s being stubborn. She insists she hasn’t done anything wrong, and when I try to contradict her, she shuts down. I told her if she keeps it up, she’ll end up alone.”
“What’d she say to that?”
“She said, once Brody leaves, she’ll be alone anyway, so what does it matter.”
“If that’s how she feels, then it’s on her,” I replied, just a tad bitter.
Wes sat on my bed and looked at me with eyes full of sorrow.
“I don’t want that for her … to be lonely for the rest of her life.”
“You’re a good son, and a good brother,” I assured him. “I won’t hold it against you if you want to be a part of her life, Wes, it’s totally up to you. Just don’t get on my case about not being a part of it.”
He nodded and asked, “Ya hear back from Karrie yet?”
“No, not yet,” I admitted. “I’m trying to do what Mina asked and give her space while still letting her know that I’m here and eager to talk.”
“You still sending gifts with pledges?”
I nodded.
“Yeah, so at least I know she’s getting them, but for all I know she’s throwing them away as soon as she’s alone.”
“Why don’t you let me deliver the next one,” he suggested.
“Really? Cause I have roses ready to be picked up in about fifteen minutes.”
“Well, why don’t we go pick them up and you can drive me to go give them to her.”
“What if she sees me? I want to give her the space she needs … I really don’t want to screw up worse than I already have,” I said, speaking honestly to my brother in a way I wouldn’t to anyone else.
“Ridge, it’s been five days. You’ve given her space and you’ve sent apology gifts. She hasn’t come running back into your arms ready to forgive and forget. So, I think you need to change tactics. Let me talk to her. I’ll explain what happened and see if she’ll talk to you. If she says yes, you’ll be there and can strike while the iron’s hot.”
“And if she says no?”
“Then she never has to know you were there waiting and you can keep doing what you’re doing, or move on.”
I don’t want to move on … I want Karrie back.
“Okay, let’s do it,” I said coming to my feet. “Just don’t piss her off.”
Wes agreed with a chuckle and we left to go and try and get my girl back.
Twenty minutes later, I was in the hallway, around the corner, leaning against the wall and more nervous than I’d ever been.
I heard Wes knock on the door and held my breath.
“Karrie, there’s another one,” I heard Mina yell, before saying, “Wait, you’re one of Ridge’s brothers, aren’t you?”
Before he could reply, Karrie must have joined them, because I heard her say, “Wes, hey.”
My heart gave a little pitter-patter at the sound of her voice and I thought, Wow, Ridge, you’re such a pussy, but realized, I didn’t care. If it would get her back, I’d write a love poem … jump out of an airplane … hell, I’d eat at the food court every night, if that’s what she wanted.
“Hi, Karrie, this is from Ridge,” Wes said, and I imagined he was handing her the roses.
“Thanks.”
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked. “Alone?”
There was a pause, where I was sure Mina was giving him a hell no look, but then Karrie said, “Sure. Can you give us a minute, Ermina?”
“Okay, but I’ll be on the other side of this door,” Mina replied.
“I’ll protect her,” Wes said wryly.
“It’s okay,” Karrie assured her best friend and self-appointed bodyguard.
I heard the door close and had to stop myself from rounding the corner and rushing to her.
“So…” Karrie prompted.
“How are you?” Wes asked.
“Oh, um, good, I guess,” she replied, sounding surprised.
“Brody and I have been worried about you.”
“You have?”
“Yeah, and I know our sisters would be, too, if they knew what was going on. We all really like you, Karrie, and think you’re great for Ridge. You make him less of a pain in the ass,” my least favorite brother said.
Karrie laughed lightly, and I yearned to see her face. “Don’t be so hard on him.”
“What about you?” Wes asked. “Will you stop being so hard on him?”
“Wes…”
“He fucked up, Karrie, Ridge knows it … hell, everyone knows it. Let him apologize, talk shit out. I think you both need to get everything off your chest and out in the open. Because until you do, neither of you can move on … whether it’s together or apart.”
“I’m scared,” Karrie said, and it felt like she’d kicked me in the stomach. “The last time we were together, it wasn’t good.”
“He was a drunk angry asshole,” Wes agreed … seriously? “But, he’s completely sober and only twenty-five percent asshole right now. How ‘bout you give him a chance?”
“What, now? He’s here?” she asked.
“Right around the corner,” Wes said.
I forced myself to remain still, leaning against the wall as if I hadn’t a care in the world, but my eyes watched greedily for her.
Karrie rounded the corner, and my breath caught.
She had on her Thirty Seconds to Mars T-shirt, cut-off sweats, and her hair was up in a messy bun.
She was the most gorgeous woman I’d ever seen.
Forty
Karrie
God, he looked beautiful.
I took him in head to toe, my heart telling me how much I’d missed him, but I kept my expression purposefully blank.
“Still holding up walls?” I asked, moving close, but not too close.
“Still dressing for comfort, not style?” he teased.
“Always.”
Ridge pushed off the wall and stood before me.
“You look amazing,” he said, sounding totally sincere.
“Stop,” I whispered, because, honestly, I couldn’t handle sweet Ridge.
“I’m sorry, so fucking sorry, Karrie. I overreacted and lashed out with anger when I should have talked to you. Hell, if I hadn’t acted like a titty baby and come out to breakfast rather than storming off to the bedroom, this whole shit show would have been avoided.”
“This is true,” I replied, trying so hard not to cave and launch myself into his arms.
“You are everything … beautiful, smart, funny, and you don’t let me get away with shit. I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out the perfect thing to give you to show you how sorry I am, but knowing you the way I do, I know there’s no such physical thing. You don’t care about money or gifts, you care about actions and words.”
My eyes filled as Ridge spoke. The way he got me was a beautiful thing, and not something I’d encountered with anyone other than my family and Mina.
He reached out and brushed away an errant tear and my eyes drifted shut at the soft touch.
Frat House Confessions: Ridge Page 14
