“For your information, I went to check on Mahogany and the baby a couple of hours ago. When I was there, I saw on the camera from my phone that you came home. I needed more clothes, and I wanted to see Taniya. I saw on the camera in the kitchen that you were about to roll up, and that’s when I wanted some dick. That dope dick always gets me right. I missed you,” she finally let me know, although I knew that already. Her missing me was the cause for all of that fuckin’ attitude that she constantly had these days.
“Yeah, whatever. Tell me anything. How is your girl doing? I talked to Bari on the phone yesterday, and he told me that she’s not taking to motherhood too well,” I said as I laid her down on the bed and I spooned her from behind.
I could feel my eyes getting low, so probably right after this conversation, I would call it a night. I knew for a fact that I was going to sleep like a baby tonight. This would be the first night in weeks that I fell asleep next to Shae. I had one arm protectively wrapped around her waist as if I was holding onto her and our child for dear life as the other one rested above her head on the pillow that she was lying on. After I asked my question about Mahogany, I heard her release a sigh.
“She’s coping. Motherhood is hard, you know. They just found out from the baby’s pediatrician that she has colic, so if anything, the constant crying and the lack of sleep is what’s driving Mahogany crazy. She’ll be fine, though. Us women were born to handle stuff like this,” Shae said.
Although she couldn’t see me, I nodded. I was about to drift off to sleep, but her next question prevented that from happening.
“Why did you bring Taniya home on a Thursday? Something had to have happened for you to do that, especially since there isn’t a break from school right now. What happened when you went down there?” Shae asked the question that I was really hoping she wouldn’t ask because I didn’t want to get into detail about the shit that transpired down in L.A.
My eyes were still closed, and I was still holding her like I was about to call it a night, but I knew that I wouldn’t get any type of sleep until I told her what had gone down at Tahira’s place.
“Like I told you in the car, her boyfriend had put his hands on her. Lip was busted, eye was black and blue, scratches were on her and shit. I didn’t even go down there to start no shit, shorty. I just wanted to look her nigga in his eyes and tell him that he couldn’t be around my daughter. Now that I see that he has a problem with not knowing how to keep his hands to himself, I also put a bug in his hear, telling him that he better never in his fuckin’ life but his hands on my child.
“That motha fucka going to tell me that him and Tahira trying to get married, which makes Niya his stepdaughter, so if he ever has to discipline her, then he will. I didn’t even let his pussy ass finish the sentence before I punched his teeth out of his fuckin’ mouth. I took Niya because she had already seen enough.
“On some real shit, I’m thinking about going to court for full custody. I know Tahira is gonna try me and still have that nigga around my daughter. To prevent myself from going to jail for killing that nigga with my bare hands, I feel it’s only right that I go in for full custody,” I said, telling her what had been on my mind since I brought Taniya back home with me. It wasn’t even for me to be spiteful toward Tahira either. I just got weird vibes from her nigga, and I was dead ass fuckin’ serious when I said that nigga couldn’t be around my child.
“Whatever you decide to do, I’m going to support you. I love Taniya like she’s my own,” she told me.
I already knew that. That was another thing that had me falling more in love with shorty; the fact that she could love my child as if she was the one who had given birth to her.
“I’m happy you’re home, baby. You got plenty of dick to ride to make up for the days that you missed out on,” I let her know.
I heard her laugh, and then she turned around in my arms and pulled the covers back.
“I can start right now,” she cooed and got on top of me.
Suddenly, sleep was the last thing on my mind. It was about time that I put a ring on this woman’s finger. Not because she had good pussy, but simply because what the fuck was I waiting on? I knew for a fact that not another woman in this world could even compare to Shae. She was a beast in the mothering department, she was a classy ass woman, who I didn’t mind raising my daughter and raising whatever we were having that was baking in her stomach. I had no doubt that she loved a nigga, so what was I waiting for? It was time. Hell, it’s been time, and I was just dragging my damn feet.
Giovonni “Trip” Young
It was almost seven in the evening, and all the inmates, including myself, were back in our cells. We wouldn’t be allowed to come back out until first thing tomorrow morning. The biggest smile was on my face as I paced the floor. I even got so fuckin’ happy that I kissed the fuckin’ walls inside my cell. If everything went as planned, this would be my last couple of moments inside this little ass fuckin’ room.
After weeks of preparing, coming up with plans, blueprints, and different scenarios of what could possibly go wrong if today’s events didn’t go as planned, Raynell and I were finally about to make this escape shit happen. I was nervous than a motha fucka, but my eagerness to get the fuck out of here outweighed my nerves.
I was the most excited to go down to my son’s grave and have a conversation with him since I was robbed of that opportunity. It still pained a nigga that I never got the chance to go to my own fuckin’ son’s funeral. It was a big risk, especially if Raynell and I got caught, but I didn’t know when I would ever get a chance to go and see him again, so it was a risk that I was just going to take.
Raynell and I didn’t even know where the fuck we were going once we escaped. We just knew that we were getting far the fuck away! I couldn’t even fix my lips to say that I didn’t love that girl. I didn’t think that any other woman would have taken a chance with their freedom, let alone their fuckin’ life to do some shit like this with me. If this shit went smoothly, I swear I owed shorty my life, and I would never bring Jashae up again.
Minutes kept going by, and I noticed that Raynell wasn’t walking the floors yet. If she did anything right at this fuckin’ job, her ass was always on fuckin’ time. Me and every nigga in there always knew when she got to work because we knew her scent. Shorty had a real vibrant scent to her, and as I paced the floors and constantly went over to the cell gate, I still didn’t see her. I was getting antsy because we had talked through text this morning, and she didn’t say anything that would lead me to believe that she wasn’t going to show up tonight. Hell, she knew the importance of today just like I did.
As I paced, all I could do was hope that she didn’t get cold feet on a nigga. One of the other young correctional officers, whose name was Officer Martin, was walking by, so I got his attention. He was cool. I wanted to say he was in his early twenties, and he didn’t take his job all fuckin’ serious like a lot of these other correctional officers did. He had just transferred here about a month or two ago, and it was weird seeing him on the night shift because he usually worked the morning shift.
“Officer Martin. They got you working graveyard?” I questioned.
“Yeah, man. I was called in about an hour ago. I don’t know how true it is, but they said that officer Raynell resigned this afternoon. That shit is crazy as fuck because she was actually one of the ones who did what the fuck she was supposed to do around here. I don’t know if that shit is true, though. You good?” he asked me, but I didn’t respond.
With what felt like the weight of the fuckin’ world on my shoulders, I walked over to my bunk. I swear it felt like my whole body had gone numb, and like my head was spinning. For fuckin’ months, I sat up late night on the phone with this stupid ass bitch planning out this day, only for her to fuckin’ bail on me. What was so fucked up about it was the fact that I just talked to her ass this fuckin’ morning, and she never said anything that would make me think that she wasn’t going to come through.
/>
I drew up fuckin’ blueprints of the way we were going to get the fuck up out of here. This has been the topic of fuckin’ discussion for a little minute now. Her stupid ass knew what this meant to me. She knew that with my life sentence, I wasn’t even ordered parole. If we didn’t do what we were supposed to do, then I would never have a chance to get the fuck up out of here.
My head was in my hands, and I hadn’t even realized that I was crying until I felt a tear hit my lip. I let that bitch play me. I let that bitch get into my fuckin’ head, only to fuckin’ play with me. I knew I wasn’t the best nigga in the world, but you don’t get a nigga back like that! From the jump, if she didn’t want to go through with this shit, then she could have just told me that. It wasn’t like I had a fuckin’ gun to put to her damn head. I might have called her out her name, made a few threats, but because I was a nigga who didn’t have shit, I wouldn’t have been able to hold any power over her or coerce her to do shit that she didn’t want to do.
I was angry. I was hurt. I felt motha fuckin’ defeated. I got so fuckin’ angry that I could feel myself shaking.
“Ughhhhhhh,” I screamed, standing up and punching the fuck out of the cement walls.
I continued to do it until so much blood poured out of my hands, that I knew for a fact that I’d broken both of them. It was the way my knuckles were barely hanging on that let me know that they were broken. I slouched down on the dirty ass floor and cried like a little bitch, and I didn’t give a fuck who heard me. This was a gruesome cry that I was supposed to let out when the judge told me that I would never see the light of day again, but I guess back then, I was too hard to let people hear me cry.
At this moment, I just simply didn’t give a fuck. These pussy ass niggas could pick on me all the fuck they wanted to in the morning. Yes, I was a man, but I had fuckin’ feelings, and them motha fuckas were played with. With all the noise that I was making in my cell, no one had ever come to check up on me. The correctional officers were used to this type of shit.
When our feelings came out about our current status, it would usually come out at night. It took me about a good fifteen minutes to get myself together, and when I did, I stood up and went over to the small sink that was inside the cell. For what felt like forever, I ran the cold water over my bleeding fist. No matter what, the blood just continued to come down. I ended up having to take two pair of my socks and tying them both on my hands. This would have to work until I saw a nurse in the morning.
One day, my wrists were just going to fall the fuck off because this wasn’t the first time that I’ve gotten so upset with the wall that I decided to fight it. In the end, it was always me getting my ass beat. With nothing but defeat falling from my body, I went over to my bed and lay down. I had no plans to check my phone, but because it’s been something that I religiously do every night before I go to sleep, I decided to check it.
After this silly bitch had the fuckin’ nerve to leave a nigga fuckin’ hanging, I couldn’t even believe that she had the fuckin’ balls to text me. As much as I just wanted to delete the text message without even reading it and cut my phone off, a big part of me still wanted to see what this bitch had to say. I swear after this, I will never put my trust into another bitch’s hands. Every bitch that I ever trusted in my fuckin’ life always shitted on me in the end; my ole girl, Shae, and now this bitch! I was convinced that all these bitches were the same.
Raynell: You don’t have to tell me how much you hate me; trust me, I already know. You have every right to hate me, to wish death on me, and to even kill me if you were given the chance. I’m texting you right now with tears falling from my eyes because I hate myself for doing this to you; for doing this to us. I want you to know that I love you, Giovonni, like really love you, and my actions weren’t to be malicious at all, but I found something out yesterday morning, and I had to make the decision for us.
I know I stood there and gave you this whole speech about how I was going to stop fuckin’ you, especially when I knew that you were dealing with other women, but you have a way with your words and actions that just has me losing the good sense that God blessed me with. I had to kill our first baby a few months ago, Trip, due to my carelessness with taking my pills, and here I am again, months later, in this same predicament. Only thing is, I cannot kill another baby. Our baby. You probably think I’m the dumbest bitch in the world to even consider keeping your baby, especially when I know that you’ll never see the light of day again, but Trip, I’m smart. I just let you get in my head, and I lost all my sense.
Not that this even matters, but I graduated class valedictorian from high school, and when I decided that I wanted to be a correctional officer, I graduated number one in the class on that too. I’m book smart as hell, but when it comes to men like you, I guess I tend to lose all of my sense. I hate that I’m doing this to you, but for the past few months, I’ve been putting you first and myself last, and with this child growing in my stomach, that stops today.
I made the decision to resign and not go through with what we had planned because God had better for me. I knew God letting me find out the day before we were supposed to do this wasn’t by coincidence. There was a strong possibility that I could have been trading in my work uniform for a jail uniform, and as selfish as this may sound to you, I’m glad that I didn’t go through with what we had planned.
I want you to know that I love you, Giovonni. I don’t have the right words to offer you, to make you feel like everything is going to be okay, but what I will say is that you are a smart man, and you should use your intelligence to better yourself. Believe it or not, a lot of the younger boys that come into the prison, they actually look up to you. For whatever reason, they do whatever you do. Take advantage of it. Open a group. That’s positive, and I know that the warden will approve of it. I just don’t want to see you self-destruct in there. If this is going to be your reality, then at least try to make the best of it.
After I finished the message, I deleted it and powered off my phone. There was nothing else that needed to be said. As mad as I wanted to be at Raynell, I could honestly say that I got it. If she was pregnant like she said she was, then okay. The selfish part of me wouldn’t admit that right now because this shit was still fresh. Maybe weeks from now, I would be able to wholeheartedly agree with her on why she made that decision, but right now, I was still in my feelings.
It was so crazy to me how I was a nigga serving a life sentence, yet I was still out here having kids. Not only was I thinking about the child that I possibly had on the way, but I was also thinking about the last part of her message. The part where she told me to open some sort of group. I had what it took to be an advocate, especially with the life that I lived, but it just all depended on these little niggas and if they wanted to listen. Shit, I had stories, and I didn’t mind telling them.
Jabari Brooks
“Wahhhhh… Wahhhhh… Wahhhhhh,” was the first thing that I heard as I walked through my front door.
I loved my daughter to death with her pretty self, but that little girl had a pair of lungs on her, and her ass wasn’t afraid to fuckin’ use them. I swear all she did was damn cry. We barely took pictures of her because she was always showing her damn tonsils, crying and shit. I couldn’t wait until she got a little older and I could fuck with her, telling her how much of a fuckin’ cry baby she was when she was younger.
It’s been a month, and this shit wasn’t getting any better. She still took cat naps at night, and when she finally decided to go to sleep at night, it would usually be after midnight. Easily the prettiest little girl that I’ve ever seen in my life with that head full of curly, jet black hair, and pretty eyes that I knew would make it hard for a nigga to tell her no, down to the deep dimples that graced both of her cheeks. Those were all things that pretty much made her perfect in my eyes. Who would ever think that a gorgeous ass little girl like the one we had would cause all this fuckin’ hell? She was beating Mahogany’s ass the worst, though.
I felt that Jamaria performed at her absolute worst whenever Mahogany had her. She would do a different type of obnoxious cry that she wouldn’t do with anyone else. Granted, she would be a little fussy whenever I had her too, but most times, I was able to calm her down within a couple of seconds. My daughter had taken her rightful position as a daddy’s girl from the moment she came into this world, and she was placed on my chest for skin to skin time. Mahogany was so fuckin’ happy when she found out that we were having a girl, but I bet she never thought that she would be in constant competition for my attention with our own damn daughter.
Speaking of Mahogany, I loved her to death, but her ass was driving me fuckin’ crazy with all that fuckin’ crying. I felt like there were times when she was worse than the fuckin’ baby. On top of that, she was dealing with postpartum depression after the birth of our daughter, so it’s like I had to be real fuckin’ considerate of the shit that I said to her. Just yesterday, I gave her crazy ass a fuckin’ compliment, telling her that her ass looked fatter in the tights that she was wearing. This woman threw a whole fuckin’ tantrum, accusing me of calling her fat and all types of other shit. Never in my fuckin’ life did I think that my wife would be insecure because she had confidence out of this fuckin’ world. That was one of the things that attracted me to her in the first place.
I knew Mahogany’s body like a fat kid knew the McDonald’s menu. Therefore I picked up on the new changes since she had Jamaria, but they were good changes. Yes, she still had “mommy weight” on her, but that shit was sexy, and I couldn’t be more attracted to her. What really fucked with Mahogany the most was when she couldn’t go through with the breastfeeding. She beat herself up about that for days at a time, questioning her status as a mother and feeling less than since she wasn’t giving our daughter breast milk.
Down With the King of the South 4 Page 5
