“Vonte was easy. I would think you would have wanted another boy,” she said, and I nodded.
“I experienced having a boy already, so I want something different this time around. You remember Vonte telling me that he wanted a little sister. I’m just wishing for something that the two of us wanted. Well, what I want now because you know at the time that he was asking, I was in no way, shape, or form ready to be busting out another baby. Crazy how the times have changed, right? I used to swear up and down that I was done having kids.”
“Look at you now. All in love and shit. I’m happy for you and Miami. I love the two of you together. When Jabari told me that the two of you were going through y’all little thing, I was worried. Of course, I was still too mad at your ass to call and check up on you, though,” she said, and I playfully rolled my eyes.
We talked for another ten minutes or so until she took Jamaria from me and put her in her car seat to carry her to the car. We were finally all in, and it took me maybe twenty minutes or so to get us to my grandmother’s house. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that my grandmother’s car was the only car in the driveway. I would have hated to drive all the way down there, just for my daddy to be there and have Mahogany tell me that she didn’t want to stay. Then, I would have to turn around and take her and the baby all the way back home.
“Put that blanket over that baby’s car seat. It’s windy as hell out here. You think that baby be crying now. You haven’t seen a damn thing yet if you fuck around and that baby gets sick,” my grandma got on Mahogany as she took Jamaria from the back with her still in her car seat.
Mahogany barely had the car seat out, and my grandma was yelling for her to cover her up with a blanket. Now, Mahogany was a grown ass woman getting yelled at, so you can only imagine the way my grandma used to get in my ass when I had Vonte. I swear I couldn’t do shit right.
“Damn, Ma. Let me fully get her in my hands,” Mahogany said, putting the blanket over the car seat and walking over to the porch where my grandmother was standing.
I laughed because the two of them could go at it all day if need be. We were all inside the house, and as if my grandma had baby fever, she stood there cooing over Jamaria as she took her out of her car seat and held her in her arms.
“I see you happy, out of the house, and smiling. Your husband must have given you some dick,” my grandma said with her eyes fixed on Mahogany.
I shook my head while pulling my phone out to text Miami and let him know that I’d made it. My grandma was quick to lecture the two of us and let us know that she wasn’t one of our friends but would sit up and talk to us as if she was one.
“He sure did. He put it downnnn, Ma. I’m in love with him all over again,” Mahogany said.
“Being in love all over again is going to have you down on your ass again, pushing out another baby. It ain’t even been six weeks yet. Boy, I tell you, you new generation of women don’t follow shit or take shit seriously. Them doctors are for real when they tell you to hold off on sex until six weeks after the baby is born. Your body can conceive a baby right now so easily,” my grandma fussed at Mahogany.
“But the Plan B that I purchased from the store myself the morning after has decreased my chances of getting pregnant again, Ma,” Mahogany let her know right before she reached over and kissed my grandma on the cheek.
Before my grandma could even respond, we all heard a door close from outside. From where I was sitting, I had the perfect view of the window, which showcased the front of the house. I sighed and bit down hard on the bottom of my lip when I saw that it was my daddy’s truck pulled in behind Mahogany’s car. I didn’t know how this was going to go down, but a small part of me was happy as hell that Miami had Maya right now because I didn’t want her to witness this. Mahogany was so wrapped up in a conversation with my grandmother that she didn’t even realize that my dad was outside.
“Why didn’t you tell me that he was coming? I would have come without Mahogany,” I said to my grandma, breaking their conversation before he could come inside the house.
Mahogany looked out the window, and when she saw his truck, she stood up. She took a sleeping Jamaria from my grandmother and walked over to her car seat to put her inside. At the same time, he was coming through the door.
“I had no idea he was coming over here. Mahogany, wait! This conversation is long overdue. I’ll take the baby,” she said, attempting to get Jamaria from her arms, but Mahogany stepped back.
“Ma, I love you like you birthed me, so I’m going to show you respect, but what do you mean this is a long overdue conversation? I was owed this conversation when I was five years old, and my mama dropped me off to your house for the first time, with him there! Ain’t no conversation between him and I that needs to be had. If we want to be real about it, I still would have been walking around this bitch in the damn blind had my mama not said anything to me about it. Let me get the fuck from up out of here,” Mahogany said.
She was just as mad as she was the last time that she had to face him.
“And Mahogany, I understand that. I don’t want you to get it confused and think that I’m taking his side and trying to give him what he wants by allowing the three of you to talk because that’s not the case. I’m looking out for your feelings right now. You weren’t told the whole truth yet, so please, just for a second, hear him out. Nobody is telling you that you have to accept his apology. No one is saying that you have to want to have a relationship with him or any of that. Baby, you deserve some type of honesty. Let me have the baby and take her to the back while the three of you talk. That’s all I’m asking,” my grandma pleaded.
I could tell that this wasn’t what Mahogany wanted to do, but she still ended up handing my grandma the baby. True to her word, she went to the back with Jamaria, making sure to close the door behind her. I wanted to crawl under the rug and just hide there because this was so damn awkward. No one was sitting; everyone was standing, and I could literally feel the heat radiating from Mahogany’s side of the room. My dad looked like a damn lost puppy, but my sympathy wasn’t for him; instead, it was for my sister.
“I was a few houses down, finishing up painting the house over there when I saw y’all pull up. As much as I want to run away from this shit and pretend that this never even happened, that would make me look even less of a man that I’m already looking. On some real shit, Mahogany, I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart. I don’t even have the right words to express it, that’s why I was putting it on hold for so long.
“I feel like there will never be anything that I can say to excuse or justify what I did. I want to say the whole thing about me being young, which is why I chose to walk away, but that would excuse then, but it can’t excuse now since I’m a grown ass man. I knew what I did was foul. Your mama knew what we did was foul. I’m trying to be careful with my words because I don’t want it to sound like I’m putting the blame on anybody else besides myself. What your mama and I did wasn’t even supposed to happen—”
“But it did! It happened, and on multiple occasions, like you said. I fell out with my best friend the last time we had this conversation, so I’m taking that into account this time. Like you, I’m trying to be mindful of my words, but it’s so fuckin’ hard because I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I feel so damn betrayed. It’s like, I can’t even say that you were a dead-beat daddy because, growing up, whatever you got Shae, you got me. I remember on her birthday, you would buy something for me too because you didn’t want me to feel left out.
“You did for me, so I can’t even knock on you that. You had to know that there was a chance this shit would come out. You had to! Nothing stays in the dark forever,” Mahogany said, and I nodded my head at that because he had to have known.
“Honestly, no, I didn’t. Marissa said that she would take it to the grave, and I believed her,” he said, and Mahogany shook her head.
I swear he wasn’t making the shit any better by saying that.
“Dad
dy, you gotta come better than this. This shit is still not making any sense,” I said, jumping in. I watched as his eyes watered, but before a tear could fall, he wiped his eyes.
“I don’t know what the fuck I’m so supposed to say, other than the fact that I’m sorry. I’m so fuckin’ sorry. Your mama didn’t even get the chance to push out the fuckin’ placenta before she died right there on that hospital bed, man. For years, I was motha fuckin’ hurt when I lost your mom. That lady was my everything. I was angry, okay! I lost my woman, and I wanted everyone to know that I was angry, including Marissa. Deciding not to step up in Mahogany’s life was my way of feeling like I was hurting Marissa and standing firm on my word about not being there like I told her I wouldn’t.
“I wanted her to know that the only lady I ever gave a fuck about was your mama. I wanted to put her death on everybody. Call me crazy, but we can say that your mama didn’t know, but I know she did. I’ll never forget what she said to me the moment she pushed you out. Her exact words were that I’ll be experiencing this again in a few months. She said that because in a few more months is when Mahogany was born. She knew. She died of a broken heart. Marissa and I were the only two who knew that she was pregnant with my baby. I wasn’t crazy enough to tell my woman some shit like that, so I knew that it had to have been Marissa. I hated her for that shit, which is why I chose to do what I did. There you have it. That’s the truth,” he said.
When he finished, he was crying. I was using my hands to wipe away my tears, and Mahogany was crying too. I knew her well enough to know that she was crying tears of anger, though.
“The same way you didn’t want anything to do with me then, keep that same energy because I don’t want to have shit to do with you either. My mama was better off sticking to the story of my daddy being in the army or her famous one of she’d fucked so many niggas that she couldn’t remember. I used to think that I was the one who took a loss on not having my daddy in my life, when in all actuality, nigga, it’s your loss,” she said and attempted to push past him, but what he said next stopped her.
“What about now? I want to have a relationship with you and my granddaughter,” he said.
She whipped her head around, looking at him like he was bat shit crazy.
“That’ll never happen. Like I said, keep that same energy that you had years ago. Hell, the same energy that you had just one month ago. You know, the one you had when you were treating me as merely your other daughter’s best friend? That energy, nigga,” she said right before she went to the back to get Jamaria.
I flopped down on the couch and buried my face in my hands. I heard the front door slam, so I knew that he’d left.
Later that night
“You barely even touched your food, shorty. What’s wrong? You don’t like it? I can send it back and tell them to make you another one,” Miami said after noticing that I’d barely eaten anything.
We were having dinner at Smith & Wollensky, and any other person would have devoured the medium well steak that I had sitting in front of me with the baked potato that had shredded cheese on it, bacon bits, and butter, just how I liked it. I still had my crab cake in front of me as well, which was an appetizer that I had Miami order that I hadn’t even touched yet.
My mind was still on the heated conversation that went down earlier today at my grandmother’s house between my dad and Mahogany. Two people that I loved more than anything were at odds, and I felt like I was right in the middle of it. This was one of those things that I felt like I had to stay the hell out of. I didn’t know how Mahogany felt, and I couldn’t tell her how to feel because anything that I said would kind of come off like I was taking my daddy’s side, and I didn’t want her to think that.
I’ve known Mahogany for twenty-five years, and I knew how that girl could hold a grudge. I hate to say it, but I didn’t think that she would ever want anything to do with my daddy. This was the same person who’d just gotten back on good terms with her own mother after not talking to her since she was eighteen.
“I’m just going to take it with me to go. I can’t stop thinking about what happened earlier. I’m sorry. I won’t talk about it. I don’t want to feel like I’m fucking up our dinner,” I said, gazing over at him.
Miami looked so handsome tonight. He was in a long-sleeved denim shirt, which exposed his neck and his chest that were filled with ink since he started the buttons on the fourth one. Even with him sitting across from me at the table, I could still smell his intoxicating cologne from where I was sitting. He wore white pants, and a pair of low top Forces was on his feet. He wasn’t afraid to bring his diamonds out tonight because a silver Cuban link chain was around his neck, and diamonds bounced off the walls every time he moved his head. He wore the matching bracelet on his right arm, and he even wore one of his huge boxing rings that he won a few years ago, which was big enough to fit on two of my fingers.
His perfect hairline and perfect waves were making me seasick, and his perfect facial hair and beard were nicely aligned, making it so obvious that he’d had an appointment earlier today at the barber.
“You good, shorty. You not fuckin’ up anything. I appreciate you for even wanting to still come down here with me tonight, especially after the shit that happened earlier. What I am going to tell you is to stress less. I get it, you’re right in the middle of this shit, but shorty, you got a choice to fall back from anything that’s going to cause you stress. At least for the next eight months. We got a baby on the way, and I need you healthy, alright? I get that’s your daddy and your best friend, and not even trying to sound like I’m not being understanding, but you have to let the two of them figure it out. Correct me if I’m wrong, but it may not even be shit to figure out because you said your girl made up her mind already, so chill out. A’ight?” he asked me, and I nodded.
As soon as he finished talking, our waitress walked past our table, and he flagged her down, catching her attention. Once she came over, he had her take both of our plates to the back and box it up. When she came back, Miami dropped four one hundred dollar bills on the table, and we stood up to exit.
“We’re going to pick up Maya tonight or in the morning?” I questioned, now that we were outside the restaurant.
Miami was holding the food while walking behind me with his arms wrapped around my body. Even in my heels, he was still so much taller than me.
“It’s your call, shorty. I’m following your lead,” he said, right before he kissed me on my neck.
I smiled at his words.
“We can get her in the morning,” I said, and at the same time, he let me go right before he gave me a final kiss.
“I cannot wait to get inside the car, so I can kick these damn shoes off. My feet are killing me, and…
My voice trailed off when I no longer heard Miami behind me, and neither could I feel his presence. I turned around, and he was in the same spot as when he let me go a few seconds ago, the only difference was that this time, he wasn’t standing anymore. Instead, he was down on one of his knees. I laughed because the food was in the restaurant bag on the ground right next to him, looking so out of place.
I froze in place as I watched him do what I suspected him of doing. I didn’t want to start crying and embarrass the hell out of myself if he was just tying his shoes or something. I didn’t want to walk over, so I stayed in my place.
“Come here. Let me ask you something,” he said, still down on one knee as he held his right hand out.
Like I was a baby learning how to walk for the first time, it felt like it was hard to get over to him. When I finally made it to him and saw that he had a small box resting on his leg, my right hand instantly went over my mouth, and I could feel the tears starting because I knew that he was getting ready to do what I suspected.
“Why you crying? It’s me who should be crying. I’m scared as a motha fucka right now,” he said and released a nervous laugh.
He grabbed my left hand and then looked seriously at me. There was no
smirk, no smile, no nothing. It was all seriousness. I had never in my life seen Miami this nervous before. His hand was literally sweating as he held onto mine.
“To be honest with you, shorty, I wanted to do this months ago, but knowing you, you probably wouldn’t have thought that we were ready. I love you, Jashae. A nigga has been smitten over you since the first time I was introduced to you when I was a little ass boy. I used to pray that your old nigga would fuck up, so I could get you and show you how a woman is supposed to be treated. Although we’ve only been doing this whole boyfriend and girlfriend thing for almost a year, I know what I want, and that’s to make you my wife, my soulmate, and all that comes with having you for an eternity.
“I want to know if you will marry me, Jashae? In a world full of crazy ass shit, heartbreak after heartbreak that we’ve both experienced, and whatever else the devil keeps throwing our way, I swear this will feel like the light at the end of the tunnel for me. Will you be my wife? I swear I’ll make sure you don’t ever regret it,” he said.
A single tear fell from his eyes, which only made me cry because for this man to cry while he asked me to marry him proved his love for me and proved how badly he wanted me to say yes.
“Yes… yesss. God, yesss” I squealed, holding his head in my hands as I kissed him.
When we finished kissing, he pulled the ring out of the box, and I almost passed out just from the sight of it alone. I let out a whistle, although I was crying, when I saw the beautiful diamond ring, which was round cut and was easily fourteen carats at the least.
“This is so beautiful, Toddrick. Damn, I love you,” I cooed as he put the ring on my finger.
Whatever funk I was in before; he sure had a way of knocking me right out of it. This was all new to me. If I didn’t know my worth now… Mannnn. A couple of years ago, I received a proposal from Trip, and that was over the damn phone. Do you know that my dumb ass didn’t have an answer for him right then and there, but I was still leaning toward saying yes?
Down With the King of the South 4 Page 9
