by C.J Duggan
***
The next day was a Friday night, the night of the party for Toby, and Adam and Ellie took me out for dinner. Though they didn't say as much, I knew it was to cheer me up. I could, of course, think of other places to eat than the Onslow, but Adam was keen to play pool and listen to some tunes, so who was I to rain on his parade? After my breakdown yesterday, I wanted to redeem myself by ending the awkwardness that existed between me, Ellie and Adam. The summer hadn't exactly gone as planned, so tonight was more about recapturing the essence of our friendships, and less about my misery.
Just make it through one more night of faking it, I told myself. It would get easier, surely?
I asked Mum to drop me off right out the front of the Onslow.
What did I care if my parents gave me a lift? My days of making grand entrances and tracking up that bloody hill were over. A lot of things were over.
Adam was sitting at the picnic table out the front when we pulled up, watching Ellie pace back and forth in front of him. As I neared, my movement caught their attention. I flashed them my best smile. I could do this. It would be fine. My smile slowly evaporated as I took in their anxious eyes that darted to each other, then both at me.
"Ah, Tess," Ellie said, "you're here." She stopped pacing, but still wrung her hands anxiously. "How about we go get some Chinese at the Golden Dragon?" She walked briskly towards me. Adam stood, nodding his head as if it was the greatest idea in the world.
"Chinese? But what about playing pool?" I turned to Adam.
"Yeah, well, you know, with my history I should probably steer clear of pool tables." Adam linked his arm with mine and led me towards Coronary Hill, Ellie scurrying along behind. Was I being frog marched down the hill?
"What's wrong with ?" I stopped dead in my tracks, and Ellie slammed into me from my sudden stop.
Toby's ute was in the car park, along with Ringer's, Amanda's ? everyone was here. How had I not seen them?
"I thought you said Toby's farewell party was at Stan's tonight."
"Yes, well, it seems tradition dictates that they have a few here, before heading to the party." Ellie grimaced.
Of course it did.
"I'm sorry, Tess, we honestly didn't think they'd be here." Adam touched my shoulder. "Come on, let's go."
"No!" I said. "I'm not leaving. I came here to have dinner and play pool, why should I leave just because of him?"
From the looks on their faces, Ellie and Adam thought I was out of my mind; they probably thought I was on the brink of another hysterical breakdown like last night. I cringed at the memory.
"Tess, do you really think that's such a good idea?" Ellie asked.
I rolled my eyes. "They don't own the place. Besides, we're all mature adults. We can be in the same building."
"But the same room?" Ellie said, biting her bottom lip.
"You sure?" Adam asked, like he wasn't buying my bravado for one second.
"I'm sure!" I spun around and stomped back towards the Onslow. As I closed the distance, as coming face to face with Toby again became an impending reality, I lost all my nerve. I was so completely and utterly unsure. My heart raced so fast I could feel the deepening thrums pulsing in my ears. What the hell was I doing? Was I crazy?
I took a deep, shaky breath as my hand splayed against the front door, ready to press it open with that familiar screech. I paused outside, staring at the timber, the only thing that separated me from the inside - from Toby.
"Tess?" Adam's voice pressed against my right ear, I could feel his hand on my shoulder. "We don't have to ?" And before Adam finished his sentence, I pushed the door open, flooding the main bar with sunlight.
