Merrick moved first because he could barely contain his longing. His hand curled over Cassius’s shoulder as he padded the wooden floor in a circle around him, trailing his fingernails across his firm muscles as he went. He wanted to drink in every single sliver of skin his eyes could see, to burn it to memory. From the delicate curve of his collarbones down the trail of dark hair on his abdomen to the silky-smooth prick stretching tall against his groin.
Cassius trembled, his breaths shallow as he stood motionless, allowing Merrick to look his fill. “Please, my prince…my Merrick.”
Merrick trailed his nails over the dimples of his buttocks before his lips found the shell of his ear. “Anything, Cas. I would give you anything.”
Cassius’s breath ghosted out of him as he arched his back, his head sinking to the crook of Merrick’s neck. Cas twisted his mouth, and the way their lips brushed together made Merrick shiver. “I would like to feel your cock inside me.”
Merrick gasped as he gripped Cassius’s hair in his fingers, bent his head back, and crushed their lips together.
“Take me,” Cassius groaned. “Make me yours.”
Merrick’s other hand glided along Cassius’s jaw as he gathered his valet’s face in his hands and slowed his lips, his tongue thrusting deeply inside his mouth in a long, possessive kiss.
“Oil?” he whispered as he grazed his jaw.
“In the bedside drawer,” Cassius replied with a shiver. Merrick nodded, realization again dawning that the inn would be prepared for men who took lovers to their rooms.
“On the bed,” Merrick directed as Cassius’s golden irises turned to liquid honey. “Hands and knees.”
After he retrieved the bottle from the drawer, he turned to see Cassius waiting for him just as he requested, and it was almost more than he could handle. The gorgeous line of his back glistened in the lamplight, and the swell of his firm buttocks sent gooseflesh along Merrick’s skin.
“You are a sight I won’t soon forget.” He traced Cas’s shoulders and then the knobs of his spine before kneeling behind him. Cas whimpered, his thighs trembling as Merrick traced the crease of his buttocks and kissed each cheek. He spread him open and looked his fill before tenderly licking at his pink hole. When he kept his tongue pressed there, Cassius moaned. Merrick’s cock throbbed, and his heart ached at the very notion of being given this privilege—the opportunity to take his time with the man he yearned for most in life.
Reaching for the bottle, he dabbed the oil onto his fingers and dribbled it down Cassius’s crease as the valet gasped and his hole clenched. Merrick groaned as he pushed a finger into the tight, silky heat. “You are so beautiful like this.”
From beneath his parted thighs, he could see Cassius’s stiff prick, the tip purple and leaking a string of seed that clung to the sheets. “Merrick, please. I cannot take much more.”
When he lined up his prick, he wasn’t certain how long he would last inside Cassius. He was so overcome with emotion that he paused to catch his breath, his forehead tipping against the small of Cassius’s back as he took in all the sensations in that moment. His swelling chest, his pattering pulse, his absolute longing to feel connected to Cassius.
When he pushed inside, breaching the tight muscle, a strangled moan tore from Cassius’s throat.
Merrick slid his fingers soothingly through the back of Cassius’s hair as he withdrew his prick, then swiftly thrust back inside, his groin slapping against Cassius’s buttocks. Cassius trembled and moaned, arching his head into Merrick’s hand.
He tightened his grip in Cassius’s dark locks and tugged his head far enough to expose that column of throat he longed to lick all the way up to his plump lips. He was blinded by the desperate need to be closer to him. The need to slip inside his bones and become one with him.
He wrapped his other arm around his heaving chest and pulled him upright so they were skin to skin, his pattering heartbeat against Cas’s spine.
Yes, this was what made Merrick’s world tilt on end—having Cassius close, smelling his skin, feeling his harsh breaths against his arm. He spread his thighs wider to accommodate the new position as he kissed Cassius’s ear, his cheek, his temple. Cassius’s nipples were taut, his skin flushed, his prick stiff and gleaming with pearls of seed.
“Cas, my darling Cas,” Merrick murmured into his throat. “I am yours. I will always be yours. You own my heart.”
Cassius swayed and moaned, his hand reaching up to clasp their fingers together. “And you own mine, my prince.”
Merrick’s eyelids shuttered closed, and he swallowed down the tears that pricked his eyes. He licked at a spot behind Cassius’s ear that made him moan, and his fingers left Cas’s hair to reach for his stiff, pulsating cock. Cassius inhaled sharply as Merrick gripped him tightly in his fist and rolled his hips, delivering a solid pounding from behind.
The valet’s near-silent pleas turned to vocal sobs as he cried out helplessly, his seed spurting over Merrick’s fist and onto the sheets.
Merrick thrust shallowly, attempting to draw out his pleasure as Cassius’s body shuddered in his arms. Then Merrick let go, unraveling completely, spending his load deeply inside him.
They collapsed to the bed, pinned together on the mattress. Cassius’s head was buried in the sheets, with Merrick’s arm still clasped tightly around his torso.
Chest heaving, prick softening, Merrick gently pulled his cock from Cassius’s body, grief quickly setting in. He kissed Cas’s shoulder as his lips trembled. “I cannot imagine never being inside you again.”
Cassius glanced over his shoulder, his gaze softening. “We have all night, my prince.”
And that was exactly what they had. It was hours before dawn.
They napped, fucked again, and nestled tightly together until light filtered through the window.
They were covered in each other’s seed, the room smelled of musk and sex, and Merrick wanted nothing more than to live forever with Cassius in his arms.
28
Cassius
They were quiet as they dressed in the morning. Quiet as they moved solemnly toward the door. The moment Cas opened it, Merrick’s strong hand clasped around Cas’s wrist. Merrick turned him, pulled Cas into his arms, and their lips met once more. It was slow and deep and full of longing. Their lips and tongues moved together in a gentle goodbye that made Cas ache down to his very soul.
Their lips were red when they pulled apart, and Cassius wished for nothing more than for their destiny to be different…but it was not. It would never be, and wishing would not change it.
He would forever be grateful for the time they shared.
Words were still not needed. They held hands as they walked down the stairs, every other one creaking. They didn’t part until they reached the door because outside this building, they had to return to prince and valet rather than Merrick and Cas.
It was strange that his hand suddenly felt empty without Merrick’s touch. It was as if he had never known what it was like not to hold Merrick.
They stayed quiet as they drove back to Pinewood Castle. With each moment drawing them closer, Cassius’s chest felt more and more hollow, and his world, his heart, more empty.
“Cassius…” Merrick said as Cas parked in front of the castle.
“Please don’t…” Cas replied, his eyes firmly trained forward. He was not strong enough to look Merrick in his eyes. “This must be all. We have no choice.” He could not handle knowing what Merrick would say.
“As you wish,” the prince replied.
Cas exited the vehicle and walked around it to open Merrick’s door. “Your Highness.” He offered Merrick his arm—Prince Merrick. He would be wise to think of him that way again. To try and forget the taste of Merrick’s skin, the way he ached from having the prince inside him.
“Do you require my assistance undressing, Your Highness?” Cas queried when they stepped inside the castle. He silently wished for Prince Merrick to answer with yes and no. He longed to tou
ch him again, to see him again, but knew it would only prolong his pain.
“No, thank you, Cassius.” Prince Merrick’s voice was distant, pained. “I have no pressing appointments tomorrow either. You are free to return home until tomorrow evening, if you’d like.”
Cassius bowed. “Thank you, Your Highness.” But he knew he would not go. He couldn’t. Cassius would not be able to handle his mother’s probing questions about Prince Merrick…not with his heart lying broken in his chest.
“Merrick! Dear Lord, you gave us a fright!” The queen descended the staircase.
Cassius froze for a moment, anger he had no right feeling for his queen surging through him. He forced himself to turn and bow to her. She acknowledged him but was much more concerned with Merrick, whom she scurried away with.
When Merrick reached the end of the hallway, he turned and gave Cas one more painful look…and then disappeared.
Cassius went to his room, never having felt so alone in his life.
Time did not stop, though Cassius felt as if his world had. One day turned into two and then three. Merrick required him as little as possible, but of course, they could not avoid one another altogether. He was Prince Merrick’s valet…his servant.
They were kind but short when they spoke to one another. They talked as prince and valet should, and Cassius greatly missed Merrick’s smile, his teasing ways, and hearing him discuss with optimism how he saw the world.
The castle lived and breathed nothing but the ball, as it was only in a few days’ time. The queen spoke excitedly of ladies who would attend, sharing who she was fond of, and one time in Cassius’s presence, asked the prince’s thoughts.
Cas tensed but didn’t allow himself to lock eyes with his prince. He wasn’t sure he could contain himself if he did. He wasn’t sure if he could look into the eyes of the man he loved as he spoke of another.
The truth was, Cassius did not know if he could continue to be under royal employ at all. It felt as if his soul was tortured each time he laid eyes upon his prince with the knowledge that Merrick would never again be his.
That he never truly had been.
There was a knock on his chamber door, which he ignored. Another moment passed, and then, “Cas?” in Valor’s soft voice, a softness he did not usually carry in his tone.
“Come in,” Cassius replied because he knew his friend would not go away. He had been watching Cas intently from the moment they returned days prior.
Valor entered the room, then closed the door behind him. “You are quiet,” he said.
“I am always quiet.”
“You are quieter than you usually are.”
Cassius looked toward the floor as he continued to sit on the edge of his bed. He did not try to hide his melancholy or the heavy sorrow that hung around him like a noose.
Valor sighed and then sat beside Cassius on the bed. “You are besotted with him?” Valor asked.
He did not argue. At this point, he could not, and he knew Valor would take his admission to his grave. “I love him.” The words were both difficult and easy to say—difficult because love did not matter to anyone other than Cas and Merrick, yet easy because it was his purest truth.
“And he loves you?” Valor continued.
“He did not say the words, but I can feel it in my bones.” At least, he hoped this feeling in his chest wasn’t one-sided.
“Fucking hell, Cas. The prince of Evergreen fell in love with you? If you were not so brokenhearted, my friend, I would clap you on the back and tell you I was in awe of your skill.”
Despite the pain deep inside him, Cassius smiled. It meant the world to him that his friend was not one who would ever look down upon Cas for who he loved.
But then the reality of their situation drowned out his happiness again. “It was not a game.”
“I know. And I truly am sorry.”
“You will not say you told me so?” Cassius turned to look at him.
“No, my friend.” He squeezed Cassius’s knee. “I won’t. I am not proud of being right in this situation. I wish…I wish this world were a different place. I would be honored to publicly serve a prince who was smart enough to see what a good man you are.”
Cassius closed his eyes as he fought back tears. He didn’t want to cry; he didn’t want to cry with his truest friend other than Merrick. But then…if he could not be true to his feelings with Valor, where could he be?
So Cassius let go in a way he could not have allowed himself in front of Merrick. Not because he could not be open in front of his prince, but because he hadn’t wanted to hurt Merrick more than the prince was already pained. Knowing he caused Cassius such sadness would wreck his prince even more.
Valor wrapped an arm around Cassius’s shoulders and allowed him to mourn. He had not cried with anyone when his father died, when he had to leave his family, but he could not hold himself back now.
He didn’t know how long they sat there, friend to friend, as Cassius let go. When he did not have any remaining tears to shed, he wiped his face with his sleeve, and Valor dropped his arm.
“You are the best man I know, Cassius. You are kind and smart and loyal. I am sorry the world does not honor what it should. Why should it matter who you lie with? Who you love?”
Cassius shook his head. “I do not know, my friend. But…thank you. The ball…it will be difficult. I don’t know if I can handle it.”
“You can,” Valor replied. “And I will be there for you, every step of the way.”
29
Merrick
It was quite lovely to see you again, Geoffrey,” Merrick remarked warmly to his former valet. Geoffrey’s color had returned to his cheeks, and he looked more rested than the last time Merrick had seen him some weeks ago.
It was the yearly celebration of the winter solstice for the royal staff, and Harris had made sure to invite Geoffrey, especially because his departure had been so abrupt. It was a tradition they seemed to take great merriment in since they would otherwise be hard at work during the holiday festivities—and this year especially with the ball.
The celebration always took place in the grand foyer, where tables were set up for the lavish luncheon. Just moments before, the king and queen had completed their annual gift-giving to thank the staff for their years of service, and normally it was of monetary value.
As Merrick stood watching from the back of the room, he thought Cassius would appreciate the special bonus, and imagined him presenting it to his family. Cassius must’ve had the same thought as he humbly thanked Merrick’s parents for the gift, bowed his head in retreat, and then briefly sought Merrick’s gaze before quickly turning away.
“I hope we made the right decision with your new valet,” Geoffrey remarked, breaking him out of his thoughts. It seemed ages ago that Geoffrey had suggested the footman as a good candidate to take his place. Ages ago that Cassius first caught Merrick’s eye and impressed him with his wry sense of humor and tender care.
“It was the perfect choice,” Merrick replied, his throat clogging with emotion. Though he did not know what would happen after the ball.
He longed to request that Cassius ride with him into the forest. To steal away from the hustle and bustle of the day’s celebration to their private spot. But he knew it would only make things more difficult. He did not want to cause his valet any more heartache—he would carry the burden for him if he could.
Besides, once the prince or princess of Evergreen married, they would move to one of the manors on the castle grounds—Marjorie to Rosemede and Merrick to Winterfrost—to make their home on the sprawling property. They would retain their own staff, and though they would normally ask their valet or lady maid to join them, Merrick did not see how that could bode well for either him or Cassius.
Though he knew he’d need to decide soon enough, at this point he could not even stomach thinking about making a home with a person he did not love, let alone know very well, for the sole purpose of carrying on the monarchy. Whe
n broken down in those frank terms, it sounded almost barbaric.
“Ah, lunch is being served,” Geoffrey remarked, bidding him farewell with a bow. “I’ll be sure to ask Cassius if he needs any last-minute counsel.”
Merrick smiled at the kind gesture. “Enjoy the luncheon, and thank you again for your years of service.”
The royal family did not partake in the festivities with the staff, allowing them a reprieve from their routine and scrutiny. Therefore, he retreated up the grand staircase to the second-floor foyer, where his sister stood watching and waiting, her mouth split into a grin.
“You look positively radiant. Did something happen?” he asked, although she had been cheerful in general as of late.
“Nothing to announce if that’s what you mean.” She tapped her finger to her chin. “Although I do have the most magnificent dress chosen for the ball, and that night Charles and I will make our debut in public together.”
“That will be lovely,” Merrick replied, trying his best to grasp on to some measure of joy for his sister even though he felt rather dead inside. “I am happy for you. Charles adores you, and I think you chose well.”
He could feel his sister’s close scrutiny, same as he had all week. He tried to be himself as he went about his routine even though he was falling to pieces inside. And being around Cassius was even worse. Each time the valet placed his hands on him in any manner of ways to dress him for the day, Merrick would hold his breath or tremble involuntarily. Cassius would leave as quickly as possible, as if he could not handle being so close to him either.
“Have you heard about the Duke of Lexington?” Marjorie asked as she lowered her voice conspiratorially.
Merrick’s spine straightened. He did not know what Marjorie would tell him about the duke rumored to have a penchant for men as well, but he hoped it was not bad news. He certainly could not bear it. “What of him?”
Ever After (Forbidden Love #1) Page 18
