by Craig Allen
“You’re not coming with me?”
She shook her head.
“When will I see you again?”
“You won’t.” She stepped back into the car and shut the door.
“What?” Jester looked in through the open door on his side. “Sasha, why?”
“It won’t be possible.”
“Sasha, I want to see you again.”
“I said it won’t be possible. Please just accept it. I have.”
He gesticulated, trying to come up with the right words. “How can I make it right?”
“It’s not that. It’s…” She held her head in her hands for a moment before looking at him. “It’s just over.”
She leaned across the seat and grasped the door handle. “Good-bye, Jester Gold. Take care of yourself.”
She pulled the door out of Jester’s hands. As soon as it slammed shut, the car sped away. Jester ran after it, as if he could catch her. He stopped after a few meters and watched as the vehicle merged onto the highway and continued into the city.
Her last words sounded so final. It hurt him. In his short time here, she had become the center of everything. She couldn’t be gone, not like that. It brought an ache inside that he knew wouldn’t go away, not until he saw her again.
His new driver tried to get his attention. “Sir, if you would get in please?”
Jester ignored him as he looked up at the sky. It would rain soon.
~~~~
Sasha, get back to me, please? Mark and I are worried.
Sasha thought she should say good-bye to her, but Kay would just call the police to come get her. She thought of sending a delayed message, one that would go when the bliss was done.
Greyson spoke. “We’re here.”
Sasha opened the door and stepped out into the rain.
Greyson got out and opened his umbrella, holding it over her. “I’ll wait here.”
She looked out over the graveyard. She could see where he rested from there. “That’s all right, Mr. Greyson. I don’t need you anymore.”
“Don’t do this.”
“It can’t be helped.” She held her hand to her chest. A twinge of pain made her grimace. She still had her pills, but they couldn’t stop what was about to happen.
“Let me take you to him.”
Sasha sighed. “He can’t understand.”
“I don’t believe that. He feels something. He may not understand, but he feels it. He’s human like we are.”
“Not like we are. His people aren’t like us.” She squeezed the bottle of pills in her hand. “Thank you, Mr. Greyson, but I want to die next to my husband.”
Raindrops fell from the edges of the umbrella. She was about to step out into the rain when he spoke.
“When my wife died, I felt the same.”
Sasha raised her head. “What?”
“She’s out there.” He nodded toward the graveyard where she buried Andrew years before. “I used to go out there every day before and after work.” He gestured at the pills Sasha clutched. “I had to take those too. They never go down easy, do they? Even with water.”
“I didn’t know.”
He shrugged. “No reason you should.”
“But you’re still here.”
“Yes, I am. I went two, almost three blisses without someone. I met my Anna three months before the bliss. I didn’t like her at first, but now I care for her so much it hurts.” He smiled. “You know what that’s like.”
“I did.”
He grinned. “You still do. I see how you look at him.”
She shook her head. “It’s wrong.”
“It’s never wrong, Sasha.” He looked out at the graveyard. “I miss Cally, even now. But Anna saved my life by just being there.” He looked back at Sasha. “Jester could do the same for you.”
She looked at Drew Greyson for a moment. She never knew he was a dreamer. But some dreams couldn’t be.
She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you, Drew.”
“Sasha, please.”
“Good-bye. Go home to your Anna.”
She stepped out from under the umbrella into the pouring rain. The grass squished under her feet as she made her way between the rows to where Andrew lay. She shivered as the rain soaked her, but she didn’t care.
Behind her, the car pulled away. She sat, running her hand over Andrew’s name. Six years, and it still hurt. She lay down in the wet grass next to him. She closed her eyes, letting the rain drench her. It wouldn’t be long now.
~~~~
The driver opened the car door. Jester thanked him and stepped toward the PM’s home. The rain had stopped just a few minutes before, leaving scattered puddles around the road and sidewalk near the Prime Residence.
The prime minister waited for him outside, standing two steps down from the entrance. His security people stood nearby, eyeing Jester as if he were a threat, but they made no move as he approached the prime minister.
The prime minister remained as cordial as ever. “I understand you are leaving, sir.”
Jester nodded. “My people are expecting me.”
“You will be missed.”
“Will I? It seems I’ve offended everyone.”
The prime minister shook his head. “No, Mr. Gold. You haven’t offended us. Only frightened us.”
“That’s what Sasha said. She said it was best if I left.”
“I can’t agree with that. Not after what has happened to her.”
Jester tried to hide his frustration. People always spoke of things he should know, but they couldn’t quite seem to explain it. “What exactly has happened?”
“The bliss, Mr. Gold.” He took a step toward Jester. “You’ve deeply affected my niece. Don’t you see?”
“It’s during this time your people procreate.” Jester eyes widened. That had to be it. “She wants to have a child?”
It wasn’t hard to miss the frustration in the prime minister. “You know nothing, Mr. Gold.” He sighed, looking out at the rain clouds. “I suppose I can’t blame you. You are a product of your culture. Opening yourself up to a new culture would be taxing for anyone. It would be the same for us on your world.”
“Then help me understand. It has to do with this bliss your people are preparing for, right?”
“Of course.”
“And it does have to do with children,” Jester said. “Everyone is born at about the same time of the year, which means they are conceived at the same time. This time, right?”
“Yes.”
He grasped at air, trying to understand. “So she does want to have a child?”
The prime minister scowled. “Again, you are being dogmatic.” He held out his hand to one of the security people, who handed him a tablet. The prime minister held it so Jester could see. “This happened earlier today.”
Jester watched the recording. It was a newscaster, giving a report on the progress of the bliss. She spoke of children staying with grandparents while their parents blissed, and then she stopped mid-sentence. Her face flushed a deep red. She lifted her hand, and a sheet of paper stuck to her shaking hand.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said. She hunched over, almost as if in pain. “Eric… I need…”
Her voice failed her, and she doubled over again. She started to fall, and then someone appeared to help her. At that instant, the view switched to another camera. A man in a suit stared off camera. Jester could tell he stared at the woman he had just seen. “Our apologies, ladies and gentleman. It’s hard to say who’ll go into the bliss early. Don’t worry. We’ll get her home soon.”
The prime minister took the tablet back. “What is happening to her will happen to all who are of age. It is the bliss.”
Jester stared at the tablet as the prime minister handed it back to his security guard. “The woman is with her mate. Her… husband?”
The prime minister nodded. “She will bliss with him. It happens every two years.”
Jester’s mouth fell ope
n. “Your people only have sex every two years?”
“Unlike your people.”
“Why? Why would you wait for two years? Is it tradition?”
The prime minster stared off into the distance, as if admiring a view he had seen a hundred times. “Again, you don’t understand. We don’t choose to wait. We have no choice in the matter. We live our lives without thinking of such things, and then the bliss happens. After it is done, we go back to our lives.”
Jester just stood for a moment, trying to process it. “You can’t have sex except during the bliss.”
“Even if we wanted to have sex outside of the bliss, we are physically incapable of it.”
“How did this happen?”
He looked back at Jester. “We aren’t sure if our ancestors evolved this way on the long voyage or if we were engineered at some point. Whatever the reason, it’s just who we are.”
“And what about Sasha?”
His expression turned grim. “She hasn’t seen a bliss since her husband died. I’d hoped this would save her, that you would save her. I was wrong.”
“Save her? What do you mean?”
He stared at Jester for a long moment before replying. “She’s dying.”
Jester’s mouth went dry.
“She didn’t tell you?”
“Only that her husband died.”
The prime minster sighed again. “Of course she didn’t. She doesn’t open up easily.”
“How is she dying?” Jester’s voice shook.
“When her husband died, she went into shock. It’s not uncommon. The stress of his loss has caused her body to reject the bliss. The physiological changes don’t manifest, but the hormones that cause these changes remain. They have built up in her body over the years and are acting as poisons. Her heart can’t take the stress.”
“The pills,” Jester said.
“You’ve seen her take them, haven’t you? They help with some of the symptoms, but they can’t save her.”
“It makes no sense,” Jester said. “I’ve had friends die. It hurt, but the pain of losing them never put my life in danger.”
The prime minister grimaced again. “As I’ve been saying, you don’t understand. The bliss is more than sex, more than having children. It’s a union between two people, a union that can only be explained with a word you don’t understand.”
He didn’t understand, but that didn’t matter. She was dying. In a short time, the universe would be without her, and he would be alone. No matter where he went, whether he stayed here or went back home, he would be alone. “The bliss happens today, doesn’t it?”
“It’s already starting in some parts of the world. By tonight, all who are of age will bliss.”
“Do you know where she is?”
The prime minister shrugged. “I thought you might know.”
“Please, sir.” Jester stepped toward the prime minister, reaching for him. The security people started, but a gesture from the prime minister stopped them. “If you have any idea where she is, you have to tell me.”
The prime minister narrowed his eyes. “Why?”
“What do you mean, why?” Jester couldn’t stop his voice from shaking. “If I can save her—”
“And how will you save her?” The prime minister shook his head. “With all due respect, you don’t understand the bond that binds all of our people together. That’s what she needs. That’s what will save her.”
“So there’s no hope?” Jester paced back and forth, wringing his hands. “Just because I don’t know the meaning of that word, there’s no hope? She’ll… die?”
The prime minister lowered his chin. “She’s my niece, Mr. Gold. I know family means little to you or your people, but it means so much to us. I wouldn’t want to lose her, not like this.” He looked at Jester. “If she’s not at her home, then I’m not sure where she would be. I’m sorry.”
“I have to try.”
“Try what, Mr. Gold?”
“Anything.” He threw up his hands. “Whatever it takes. I can’t let her…” He gesticulated for a moment. There weren’t enough words to explain, but he did understand what he had to do. “I have to go, Prime Minister.”
The prime minister nodded. “Good luck, sir.”
Jester gave a quick nod and left, running down the steps of the Prime Residence to the waiting car.
The driver stared at Jester, bug-eyed, as he slid to a stop in front of him. “I take it we’re in a hurry, sir?”
“Sasha Merigole’s home,” Jester said.
“Certainly. Do you know the address?”
Jester froze. He didn’t know. Someone always took him there, but he never went there himself. She was going to die because he didn’t know where she lived.
“I know where she is, Mr. Gold.”
Jester spun around. He hadn’t noticed the second car. Sasha’s driver, Mr. Greyson, stood with the door open. He tipped his hat. “If you’ll get in, I’ll take you to her.”
Jester rushed into the waiting car without another word.
~~~~
The car moved at a crawl. It seemed every car in the city was on the road at the same time. It’d been half an hour since they left the Prime Residence.
“Everyone’s getting last-minute staples,” Mr. Greyson said. “Just in time for the bliss.”
Jester leaned forward, staring out the front window. Instead of sitting in the back, he sat in the front with Greyson. He looked at the sky, but he couldn’t see where the sun was through the clouds. If he could reach her before nightfall, he might be in time. Assuming she didn’t bliss early.
He felt trapped, wanting to save her but not being able to do anything about it. He wanted to scream at every car to get out of their way, but he knew they were all in a similar predicament. They were trying to reach someone in time for the bliss, just as he was.
“Do you mind if I ask you something?”
Mr. Greyson kept his eyes on the traffic. “Not at all.”
“Is there someone back home? Someone who…” Jester didn’t know how to describe it. Asking if he had a mate seemed rude.
“My wife, yes. Right now she’s at the hospital.”
Jester caught his breath. If something had happened to Sasha… “Is she all right?”
Mr. Greyson smiled. “Oh, she’s fine. She’s volunteering for a shift. The young can’t function during the bliss, so those of us who are older take over certain services.” He darted in front of another car, ignoring the honking horn behind him. “I’m scheduled to drive an ambulance tomorrow.”
“Won’t the two of you miss the bliss?”
“No, we haven’t blissed in a while. We’re too old.”
“Oh.” Jester looked forward again. An opening appeared near a ramp. Mr. Greyson cut across two lanes to reach it. He accelerated down the ramp well past the speed limit. A minute later, the car raced out of the tunnel on to a mercifully empty road. Greyson steered across three lanes toward a large, grassy open area. It looked like a park, but knew it wasn’t. He remembered this kind of place from his download of the world net. These people buried their dead. Several markers, mostly stone, sat in rows. A handful of trees dotted the open space.
“There she is.”
Mr. Greyson parked and left the engine running. At first, Jester couldn’t see her. Then, he saw someone lying on the grass near one of the large stones.
He put his hand on Mr. Greyson’s shoulder. “Thank you.”
Mr. Greyson gave a short nod. “Go on. I’ll wait.”
Jester stepped from the car. The morning rain made the grass soggy. It soaked his shoes as he moved between the graves. Each stone had a name and a date. If he were too late, would she end up here, next to her husband?
She leaned against a gravestone that read Andrew Merigole, in loving memory. She didn’t move, even as he approached.
“Sasha?”
She jumped, and he felt relief wash over him. There was still time. She turned and looked at him. Her
face had flushed red and her hands shook, just as the newscaster’s hand had. Her voice shook as she said, “Go away.”
He knelt. “Sasha, let me help.”
“You can’t.”
“Please…”
She looked away. “I said go away.”
“No.” He reached for her, but she pushed him away.
“You can’t help me.”
“I have to try.” Jester reached for her again. She struggled halfheartedly as he took her hand, and this time, she let him. “Sasha, your uncle explained it to me. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“That you were dying.”
She kept staring at the gravestone in front of her. “Would it matter?”
“Of course it matters.” He clenched his jaw. “I want you to live.”
“What do you care?” She cringed, clutching at her chest. The pain disappeared from her face after a few seconds, but Jester knew it would return. “You’re going home, back to your world. You don’t need me.”
“I do need you.”
“Do you?” Sasha looked back at him. “Why?”
“I don’t know.” He brushed aside a strand of hair from her face. “But I do.”
She shook again, as if having another attack, but she recovered. “You don’t understand anything. You know nothing about us, or me.”
“So you’re just going to lay here and die? You won’t even try to save yourself.”
“I died when Andrew died.” She ran her fingers across Andrew’s name on the gravestone. “I’ve been walking around pretending to live. It’s best I were with him.”
Her dress was rumpled, and her makeup had washed away. Even in her disheveled state, she looked stunning, more so than when he first met her.
“You can’t save me,” she said. “Do you know why?” She picked up her tablet that had been lying in the grass. A frozen image of a young man sat on the screen. He held a smiling Sasha in his arms. She touched the image and it disappeared. In its place appeared a headline to a news article. She highlighted one word.
“Say it.”
It was the word, the word he didn’t understand, the word that had no meaning to him. He opened his mouth and tried to speak it. “Luh—”
“Say it.”
It wouldn’t come out naturally, but he spoke it anyway. “Love?”
“That’s right.” She shuddered. “Now tell me what it means.”
He stared at the word, as if that alone could explain it. “I don’t know.”
