“Do I?” she asked. “Do I really have a choice? It doesn’t feel that way.”
“Freya, there are so many ways you can be of use to the Council. This is merely one of those ways. We have asked this of you because it is the most effective use we could possibly have of you. If you turn it down, you will still be a Councilmember, and we will have other requests of you. I thought you might be interested in this one. You seem to enjoy Lewis’s company, it could give you some closure about Colin, and, if nothing else, I thought you would jump at the chance to get out of finishing those boring courses.”
“You admit they are boring?” she asked with an eyebrow raised.
“Oh, they are dreadful! I remember having to take them. I almost felt I didn’t want to be on the Council if that is what it took.”
In spite of her anger toward Victor, she could not help but smile at his remark.
“Freya, I know this is very sudden for you. I know you are still healing from what happened with Colin. I know that you don’t feel capable of doing this. All I can tell you is I believe you can do it. I wouldn’t have asked you to do this if I thought you would fail.”
“What if I do fail? What if I can’t gain their trust? What if they take one look at me and just know I would never be a part of something like that?”
“You won’t, but just for argument sake, we would have you extracted. If Lewis reported that the mission wasn’t working, we would remove both of you. We want information, and yes, there are risks. But we don’t want to show our hand to the enemy either. There are a lot of tragic accidents that happen. We have our ways of getting our people out with no civilian being the wiser for it.”
She considered this for a moment. No matter how much time they gave her to think about it, to plan, to say good-bye, it wouldn’t change the fact that her life had been sold to the State. If she kept refusing missions, it would only be a matter of time before they found her noncompliant, and there would be consequences to face. At least with this mission, she knew Lewis; she knew he was kind.
“So when do we get started?” she asked.
Victor smiled. “It has already begun,” he replied. “Chastity told Amaia last night that you are thinking of leaving us, and you know that if Amaia knows, everyone else will also.”
Despite Victors claims, he was insisting she had a choice, but his actions spoke otherwise. The fact he had instructed Chastity to begin spreading rumours about her coupling, and before she had given her consent, only proved her suspicions were correct. She would do everything the State asked of her, the price she would pay for any refusal would come at a high cost.
“So that’s that then? I just pick up and leave?”
“You will leave when you are ready to. We had an apartment near Colin’s parents vacated. You can either stay here for a while and say your good-byes, or you can leave immediately. Lewis is ready to go the moment you consent.”
“I want to go now then,” she said.
“I thought you would. You were never one to dillydally. Just try to sound the least bit happy about being coupled if you choose to say good-bye to everyone personally.”
Freya laughed, not because it was funny, but because it was ludicrous.
“I’m not good at lying, which is part of the reason I know this is all a mistake,” she said bitterly.
“You will learn. Perhaps it’s best then that we tell everyone it was too difficult to say your good-byes in person. You can slip out of the house any time before the afternoon meal without being detected. Can I make this official? Do I have your consent?”
She gulped. “Yes.”
“Good.” He picked up his tablet. “It is done. You are now coupled, and Security will be told to direct you to your new home. Lewis is now alerted and is already on his way.”
“Won’t he go with me?” she asked with surprise. “I mean, we are both here—why send us separately?”
“It would look suspicious to have you travel together from the same place. Even Security must think you are a normal couple.”
“But James knows.”
“Yes. He is a Councilmember. I told you before, we have many Councilmembers among us, and you will not learn their identity unless necessary. Lewis will handle transporting the information, and so I will not reveal anyone else. I thought you should at least know, if anything were to happen to Lewis, James will be your contact.”
“So that’s it, just go?” she asked.
“Yes. Now would be a great time to leave. Of course you are welcome to stay longer—you could even take a few days. I think, however, knowing you, you should just go right now.” He paused. “Or perhaps, you should shower and put on some free time clothing. You would want to be cleaned up when you meet your new partner for the first time.”
Chapter 10
Freya looked around the apartment with a sense of déjà vu. The difference between leaving this living space and the one from her school days was she did have an attachment to this apartment. She had had a sense of wonder and excitement of being moved into adult living. Of course, that was before she found out she was being moved to be coupled. This time, she only felt dread. It was something she had to do, regardless of how much her mind thought this entire plan was preposterous. She walked straight to the front door without being seen and left the house. A moment of regret ran through her; she should have said good-bye to Chastity. She walked back to the door and palmed the scanner, but it did not recognize her. The security system had already been reset.
Her eyes filled with tears. It was too late; there was no turning back now. The lights on the wall from Security lit up to show her the path to take. She took it at nearly a run. She had to put some distance between her and this house before she curled up in a ball on the ground. She kept walking quickly until she came into the clearing. She looked around and realized that this was the spot where Colin would leave her on their morning walk. She had not been here since before he left; she hadn’t stepped foot outside the State house since then. Freya stood for a moment in that spot. This was the thing she had been wanting. Something tangible to remember Colin by, and here it was—their place.
A feeling of warmth did not come to her. She simply looked around, and then walked on. Instead of feeling a piece of her life with Colin, she simply realized that the girl who used to stand here with him was not who she was anymore, and so she said good-bye. More to the girl she once was than to Colin. She had changed. He had never been who he said he was; there was nothing to hold onto. It was right at that moment she made the decision, one that she would probably not have to make for a long time to come—she would not return to the State house when this mission was over.
She walked to the train platform and scanned in.
“Freya 117, verified,” the automated voice said. “Estimated wait time, twenty minutes.”
“Freya, stay on this train until the last stop.” A Security officer’s voice came over the speaker. “We will light up the path for you. You will board a second train.” The speaker clicked off.
Freya had no idea that there were two trains before now. It was strange; she thought the wait time would drag on forever. She had been so nervous when she had left her parents’ house, and when she came to work at the State house, yet this time was different. It felt like no time had passed at all before she boarded the train. After she took her seat, she closed her eyes and almost instantly fell asleep. There was nothing for her to see; she had taken this train before, and not all that long ago. The complete lack of sleep from the night before had left her exhausted, she didn’t hear the announcement to de-board the train. Security had to come over the speaker and call her by name to wake her up.
Freya got up and without knowing where to look, she apologized and left the train. The lights were instantly in front of her. Everyone else had left the train before her, so she was certain the lights were for her. They led her over to the other train. She was the last person to board—it looked as though it had been held up just for
her. She decided it would be a good idea to stay alert. It was difficult—this trip was a long ride. There were times when she began to wonder whether she had missed her stop until a red-light started flashing above her seat, it simply contained the words Next Stop. She hadn’t noticed the lights when she traveled by train before, but then again, it had never flashed for her.
After she found a scanner, the lights took her to the underground walkway. The elevator took her up to the ninth floor, where she found her new apartment. When she walked in, Lewis was on the sofa, already looking at a tablet.
“You must be Freya. How nice to meet you.” He stood and walked over to shake her hand.
She had never considered for a moment that they would have to keep up pretenses in their apartment. She was so used to living in the State house. Was I ever even monitored there? Come to think of it, she wasn’t—at least, not in the apartment with the stairwell to the secret underground.
“I’m Lewis. Come, take a seat. Can I get you a glass of water or tea? There were two meals delivered here. I am afraid it will be rather cold, but you should still eat something.” He handed her a plate of food.
Somehow, keeping up the pretense that they had never met before and had to put on a performance for Security, she felt even more awkward than when she had met Colin.
She said nothing but sat down at the table and began to eat. It was obvious she needed to say something, but her mind drew a complete blank.
Lewis made tea, not that she had asked for it, and he sat down with the two cups. “So I know you are a greenhouse worker, and that is about it. Tell me a little about yourself.”
“Uh, that about sums it up,” she replied. This time she wasn’t trying to be difficult; she really just couldn’t think of anything to say.
“Not too chatty, I see. Well, let’s see. I work in maintenance and construction. I was coupled once before—”
“You were?” Freya blurted unintentionally.
“Yes. It is a sad story, actually. My partner died in childbirth. It doesn’t happen often, but it does still happen. Once I felt ready to be coupled again, I requested to not have children. My son didn’t survive either.” He looked sad. “I just don’t want there to be a chance to go through something like that again.” He sighed dramatically.
He was good. Freya felt a moment of panic. It was her turn to speak. What on earth should I say to him? He raised his eyebrows, almost as if he were trying to tell her to say something with his mind.
“I’m sorry,” she said after a long pause. He kept staring at her, waiting. It was not a natural thing for her, but she knew it needed to be done. She awkwardly placed her hand on his. “That is really terrible.”
He looked a little happier when she touched him; he still waited for her to say more, but she didn’t. “Is this your first time being coupled?” He had obviously given up on her ability to read his mind.
“No. I was coupled for just under a year, but he left on the colony ship,” she answered.
“Wow,” he said in fake surprise. Then he put his other hand on top of hers. “I am sorry. That must have been so hard for you.” He gave another pause. “I must admit, I am pleased to hear that you have been coupled before. I was concerned that if they put me with someone who hadn’t, there would be some jealousy or insecurity or something. I loved my partner very well, and I am sure that I will grow to love you also.”
That last part he said was almost too far. Freya struggled to not vomit. He was really good at this—too good. She improvised and decided the best way to hide the near retching was to pretend to cry.
“I’m sorry.” She hid her face from the camera with her hands. “It’s just I didn’t sleep well last night. I was nervous about meeting you.” She continued to fake sob. “It is still hard for me to talk about my partner, or even think about him.”
“Oh, there, there.” He reached out to rub a hand up and down her shoulder. “My partner died long before your partner left. I have had much more time to heal. Don’t be sorry, I still struggle with it too. Maybe this is just a little too much for one day. You said yourself you have not slept. Why don’t you go and lie down for a little while?” He stood and urged her to do the same thing. He led her to the bedroom, almost as though he was helping an elderly or sick person. He closed the door the moment they got into the bedroom.
“I hate you.” Freya looked at him, wild-eyed, as the door closed. “Why did I let you talk me into this? I can’t do this!”
Lewis urged her to keep her voice down, and he struggled to keep from laughing.
“What do you mean? You did great!” he whispered to her. “Well, you were a little rocky at the start, but you finished off with the fake tears like a pro. Getting into the bedroom for the first time is the tricky part, and we are already here. Nice work.” He lay down on the bed and stretched out with his hands behind his head. “We need to stay in here long enough to look like you slept. Perhaps you should actually get some rest.”
Freya looked at him uncertainly. She did not feel comfortable going to sleep with him beside her.
“Look, I know the gentlemanly thing to do would be to offer you the bed while I sleep on the floor, but the fact is, we could be here for years. Just come lay down. You will get used to me being here.”
She stared at him, not sure what to do. He was right. This wouldn’t be a quick mission, and this was something she had to get used to, but it was still difficult.
“I won’t try anything.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard that before,” she said, and then lay down with her back to Lewis. She laid there with her eyes wide open, unable to sleep.
Lewis found a tablet and began to play on it. After some time passed, he put the tablet down. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”
She wasn’t sure how he knew; she hadn’t moved. “I have way too many things running through my mind to sleep.”
“So talk, quietly of course—you are supposed to be sleeping,” he said.
Freya let out a heavy sigh. Where should I even start? “Why didn’t you give a false name?”
“Lewis is a false identity,” he replied.
“Your name isn’t Lewis?” She flipped over in surprise to look at him.
“Nope. Every new mission comes with a new identity.”
“What’s your real name then?”
“That is classified. Next question.”
“Were you ever really coupled before?”
“Nope,” he answered. “Not the way you think of it, at least. Once you enter the military, you are never coupled. I have however previously pretended to be coupled on a mission.”
“Did you love her?”
“Nope. She was also military. It was very professional. Why do you ask?”
Freya’s face flushed, and she instantly regretted asking the question.
“Is that what you are expecting to happen here?”
“No!” she blurted. “I mean, well, it’s just something that Victor said, is all.”
Lewis turned so they faced each other. “What did Victor say?”
“When I asked him what would happen after, if our mission was successful, he said I would have a choice to stay undercover with you if we fell in love. I just didn’t know if that was normal or not.”
“It’s possible,” he replied. “If you become a good spy, we could stay undercover together. The State would surely have many places to put us. You may enjoy living and working with me. There is no telling if there will be chemistry between us. Of course, there is no rule against us forming an attachment or having sex, but it is not an expectation of this mission. We only need to pass for a happy couple in public; we don’t have to be one. I did, however, read your profile, and I would be surprised if you did get attached to me.” He paused. “Then again, it was a surprise you got as attached to Colin as you did.”
Freya was not comfortable with the direction the conversation had turned. She did not want to discuss the possibility of relations between them, and she wan
ted to talk about Colin even less.
“So what do we have to do to pretend to be a happy couple in public?” she asked, searching for a subject change. Keeping her mind on the mission at hand was what she needed to keep her emotions steady.
The State Series Box Set Page 37
