by Laura Beers
“That sounds delightful,” Kate replied.
As Amelia started walking with Hannah through the entry hall, her sister shared, “The dressmaker dropped off two new ballgowns for you.”
“She did?” Amelia asked, feigning interest.
Hannah bobbed her head. “Now that you are home, you will be able to go to Lady Langley’s ball with us. It is in four days, and it is supposed to be the event of the Season.”
Amelia stifled her groan. Since she was back in Town, she would be expected to go to the social gatherings with her sisters. “Wonderful,” she muttered.
“What fun we shall have!” Hannah declared.
Amelia forced a smile, pretending that all was well, but her heart ached at leaving Edmund. She wanted to be with him, but he had ordered her to leave Harrowden Hall, to leave him. It was his choice, and now she had to make the best of the situation.
17
Edmund was miserable, and it was entirely of his own making. He had sent Amelia on her way, even after she had confessed that she cared for him. It had been three days since she left, and the time seemed to move painfully slow without her. He had even started losing interest in riding, something that he never thought would be possible. But without Amelia by his side, what was the point?
His valet slammed the door to the armoire, drawing his attention. “Will there be anything else, Your Grace?”
“I could do with less theatrics, if you please,” Edmund replied dryly.
“My apologies,” Bartlett said in a tone that was anything but apologetic.
“I know you are displeased that I sent Miss Blackmore away, taking her lady’s maid with her, but what’s done is done.”
His valet huffed. “I’m beginning to think that you want to be miserable.”
Edmund stiffened. “Pardon?”
“You had a chance at happiness in your clutches, but you let it go.”
“You know why I did.”
With a shake of his head, his valet said, “Yes, and your reasonings are foolhardy.”
“She lied to me!” Edmund exclaimed.
“So what?”
“I can’t trust her anymore.”
Bartlett gave him an exasperated look. “Miss Blackmore saved your mother and helped you reconcile with your daughter. I daresay she should have earned your trust, no matter what she did in the past.”
“She should have told me that she was a matchmaker from the very beginning.”
“Would it have made a difference?”
“Yes!”
Bartlett shook his head. “If that was the case, then you wouldn’t have given Miss Blackmore any heed.”
“Perhaps, but we will never know, will we?”
“You are a fool.”
“And you are dangerously close to being dismissed,” Edmund warned.
Bartlett didn’t appear too concerned by his threat. “The whole staff is saddened by Miss Blackmore’s departure,” he said.
“They are?”
“Indeed,” Bartlett replied. “Miss Blackmore brightened up Harrowden Hall with her cheerful disposition, and now no one wants to return to the way it used to be.”
“There is nothing that I can do—”
His valet cut him off. “You can go retrieve Miss Blackmore and bring her back.”
“I won’t do it.”
Bartlett cast him a frustrated look. “Then your foolish pride has cost you your happiness.”
Edmund felt the blow at the truthfulness of that statement, but he couldn’t undo what he had said or done to Amelia. And, frankly, he was tired of this conversation going in circles.
He walked over to the door and said, “It is time for me to take Sybil on her morning walk.”
“I wish you luck, Your Grace.”
Edmund placed his hand on the handle and paused. “Even if I wanted to, I don’t think I could persuade Miss Blackmore to come back to Harrowden Hall.”
“I believe you have vastly underestimated Miss Blackmore, then.”
Edmund turned the handle and departed from the room. He hurried up to the nursery and found Sybil waiting.
“Are you ready to go on a walk?” he asked, holding out his hand.
Sybil smiled as she slipped her hand in his. “I am,” she replied.
They made their way down the stairs and exited through the rear entrance. As they stepped into the gardens, Sybil asked, “Do you think we will see a butterfly again today?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“I hope so,” she said. “I like to watch them flutter around.”
A white, fluffy dandelion caught his attention in the lawn and Edmund led Sybil over to it. “Do you want to make a wish?” he asked as he leaned down to pick it.
Sybil shook her head. “No.”
“Why not?” he asked, holding the dandelion up.
“Because none of my wishes come true.”
“May I ask what you wished for?”
A sad expression was on Sybil’s face as she revealed, “I wished that Amelia would never leave Harrowden Hall.”
“You did?”
Sybil nodded weakly. “But she left anyway.”
Hesitantly, he prodded, “Did she tell you why she left?”
Again, Sybil nodded. “She told me that her sisters missed her dreadfully, and she had to return to them.”
Edmund was stunned into silence. Amelia hadn’t informed his daughter that he had sent her away. Why would she have kept that from her, he wondered.
Sybil looked up at him with sad eyes. “Why does everyone always leave me?”
Crouching down to look at his daughter in the eye, he rushed to assure her, “I know it must seem that way, but just know that I will never leave you.”
“I’m glad, Papa.”
He placed a hand on her shoulder. “I love you, Sybil.”
“I love you, too,” Sybil murmured.
“I’m glad to hear that, because I was thinking it was time to purchase you a pony.”
Sybil’s eyes lit up with excitement. “Do you mean that, Papa?”
“I do.”
“I want a brown pony!” Sybil hesitated before saying, “No, a white pony. Or a black one.” She scrunched her nose. “What color pony should I get?”
Edmund smiled for the first time in days. “I am much more concerned about the temperament of the pony. I want one that is docile.”
Sybil bobbed her head in agreement. “What should I name the pony?”
“Perhaps we should wait until we find the right one first.”
“Good idea, Papa.”
His mother’s amused voice came from behind him. “I see you are bribing your daughter with a pony.”
“Grandmother!” Sybil exclaimed as she ran up and hugged her. “Did you hear that Papa is going to get me a pony?”
“I did overhear that,” his mother said. “I was under the impression we were going to wait until she was six before we started riding lessons.”
Edmund turned to face his mother. “That doesn’t mean we can’t purchase her a pony now.”
“One can’t help but wonder if you are using this pony as a distraction,” his mother commented.
“So what if I am?”
His mother smiled down at Sybil and asked, “Would you mind picking me four of the prettiest flowers in the garden for my room?”
Sybil returned her smile. “I could do that,” she said before she ran over to the flowers just off the footpath.
Edmund frowned as he met his mother’s gaze. “I don’t need another tongue lashing from you, Mother.”
“It has been three days,” she said. “When are you going to admit that you were wrong and go after Amelia?”
“It isn’t that simple.”
“It is!”
He shook his head. “I said some rather awful things to her, and I can’t take them back.”
His mother’s eyes shifted towards Sybil. “Your daughter needs a mother,” she said.
“I am well a
ware of that.”
“I hired Miss Blackmore and her sisters because they ensure love matches,” Ellen said. “And I wanted you to fall desperately in love with whoever you picked.”
“I didn’t want that,” he grumbled. “I just wanted you to select someone for me and be done with it.”
“Why wouldn’t you want to open yourself up to the possibility of love?”
“Because love fades, and it can be corrupted.”
His mother’s face softened. “Not when you truly love someone,” she remarked. “What you had with Amelia was genuine.”
“It matters not.”
“Will you stop saying that?” she asked. “It does matter. This is your happiness at stake.”
Edmund sighed. “What would you have me do, Mother?” he questioned. “Ride to Town and confess my undying love to Amelia?”
“That would be a good start.”
“And if she rejects me?”
“Then so be it, but at least you have your answer.”
Running a hand through his hair, he asked, “Why is everyone so insistent that I make amends with Amelia?”
“Because you are a better man with her by your side, and barely tolerable without her.”
“I won’t disagree with you there, but how can I ever trust her again?”
“My dear boy, you are letting your own fears stop you from being happy,” his mother counseled. “If you listened to your heart, you would recognize that you never truly stopped trusting Amelia.”
The truthfulness of her words resonated in his mind, but he shook his head. Hope was futile. Amelia would never forgive him for the hurtful things he had said to her in the garden. “I can’t go back and change the past,” he said.
“No, but you can take control of your future,” Ellen encouraged.
Edmund turned his attention back towards Sybil, who was busy scouring the flowers. Before Amelia had arrived at Harrowden Hall, he had always viewed his future as bleak, meaningless. But now, whenever he envisioned the future, he thought of Amelia and it filled him full of hope. But was it too late?
He had cast her aside at the first test of their love, and he wasn’t sure that Amelia would forgive him. But he had to try. Amelia may not need him, but he desperately needed her in his life.
“Sybil does need a mother,” he mused.
“Yes, she does, and Amelia would be perfect for the role,” Ellen asserted. “But don’t do this for Sybil. Do it for yourself.”
Edmund met his mother’s gaze. “And if it is too late?”
“You may have to grovel.”
“I am a duke,” he contended. “I don’t grovel.”
“Then you don’t love her enough.”
Edmund pressed his lips together, knowing she spoke the truth. “I suppose I could grovel a little,” he said.
His mother smiled brightly. “You will need to formulate a plan of how to woo her.”
“I will have my entire ride to Town to think about that.”
Sybil approached him with four flowers in her hand and held them out to him. “You should give Amelia these flowers when you apologize.”
“You overheard our conversation?” he asked, crouching down to her level.
“I did,” Sybil replied, “and I know that Amelia likes flowers.”
Edmund accepted the blooms. “Thank you. I will be sure to give her these.”
Sybil tilted her head and asked, “When will you go and retrieve Amelia?”
“Right now,” he replied, rising. “I shall ride through the night if I have to.”
“Do be careful,” his mother advised. “Perhaps you should take the coach instead.”
Walking backwards, Edmund disagreed. “I will arrive much faster if I ride my horse.”
He turned and found himself running towards Harrowden Hall. The overwhelming need to be with Amelia washed over him, and he knew he was a fool to have ever let her go. He would do whatever it took to convince her to marry him. But he didn’t know how he was going to accomplish that feat.
Edmund had no doubt there would be some groveling involved. He’d go down on his knees and beg. He’d do anything to make sure Amelia knew how much he loved her.
“She isn’t smiling, but she isn’t frowning either,” Hannah commented as she sat next to Amelia in the coach.
Kate bobbed her head. “At least she isn’t crying again.”
“That’s true,” Hannah agreed.
Amelia let out a sigh. “You both are being rather vexing.”
“We are going to a ball,” Hannah announced excitedly. “It wouldn’t do well if you scared away all your potential suitors by frowning.”
“I do not care if I dance even one set this evening,” Amelia muttered.
“Whyever not?” Hannah asked. “You are dressed in the most brilliant gold gown, and I have no doubt that the gentlemen will swarm around you.”
Amelia shifted in her seat. “I believe I made it clear that I would rather be at home reading.”
“That is all you have been doing,” Hannah argued. “That, and crying.”
Edward spoke up from next to Kate. “Leave poor Amelia alone,” he said. “She is still recovering from her time at Harrowden Hall.”
“Thank you, Edward,” Amelia replied.
Her brother-in-law smiled kindly at her. “You are welcome.”
“We are just worried about you, Amelia,” Hannah remarked. “You have been moping around the townhouse for the past four days.”
“I have not been moping,” she contended.
“You have,” Kate confirmed. “John has even informed me that you haven’t been jumping the hedges around our property as usual.”
“That is because I haven’t felt like it,” Amelia stated.
“Perhaps it is time for you to recognize what we already know,” Kate said.
“Which is?”
Kate gave her a knowing look. “That you are hopelessly in love with the Duke of Harrowden,” she replied.
“So what if I am?” Amelia asked. “It doesn’t change anything.”
Hannah interjected, “That may be true, but you can start healing.”
Glancing down at the clenched hands in her lap, Amelia said, “I don’t want to heal my broken heart, at least not yet.”
“Why not?” Kate asked.
“Because then I would have to admit that there is no future between Edmund and myself,” Amelia confessed softly. “And I am not ready for that. I just want to pretend for a little longer.”
Kate offered her a sad smile. “Take all the time that you need.”
“Thank you,” Amelia muttered.
Edward adjusted his white cravat. “I still find it admirable what you did for the duke and his daughter,” he said.
“Edmund is a wonderful father,” Amelia shared. “I only helped him see what was right in front of him.”
“I daresay that you did more than that,” Edward pressed.
Amelia smiled weakly. “I am just pleased that Sybil finally has the father that she deserves. I wish you all could have met her.”
“She sounds like a lovely girl,” Hannah commented.
“That she is,” Amelia murmured before turning her attention towards the window. She didn’t want to discuss Edmund or Sybil any longer. Her heart couldn’t take it, knowing she wouldn’t be in their lives anymore. She blinked back her tears. There was no point in crying, not anymore, she decided.
Kate’s voice broke through her musings. “I think it might be best if we didn’t take on any more clients for the Season.”
“Truly?” Hannah asked.
Amelia met her sister’s gaze. “I hope you aren’t doing this on my account?”
Kate gave her an understanding smile. “It might be best if we just enjoy the rest of the Season together.”
Hannah clapped her hands. “How wonderful.”
The coach came to a stop in front of a three-level townhouse. The footman stepped off his perch and hurried to set the step down, t
hen opened the door and assisted them out.
Once Amelia was on the pavement, she smoothed down her gold gown with a square neckline. “I worry that this gown is rather ostentatious,” she remarked.
“You look brilliant,” Hannah gushed.
Kate came to stand next to her. “You truly do, Amelia,” she expressed. “Just promise me that you will attempt to enjoy yourself this evening.”
“I will try,” Amelia said.
They followed the hordes of people into the entry hall of the lavishly decorated townhouse, and she could hear the musicians warming up. As they stepped inside of the rectangular ballroom, Hannah leaned towards her and proclaimed, “This is a crush.”
“That it is,” Amelia agreed as her eyes scanned the crowded room.
She trailed behind Kate and Edward as they went to find somewhere to stand by the ivory-colored walls. A golden chandelier hung in the center of the room, filled with hundreds of lit candles.
When the first set of the dance was announced, Amelia was approached by Lord Hugh Hyatt. She had previously thought him to be attractive with his sharp features, but now her interest had waned.
He stopped in front of her and bowed. “Would you care to dance, Miss Blackmore?”
“I would,” she replied, wishing it wouldn’t be considered rude to refuse.
Amelia placed her hand on his arm, and he led her to the center of the room. They lined up with the other dancers and began to move to the music. As she danced the repetitive steps of the cotillion, Amelia attempted to bring a smile to her face, but her heart was heavy, her pain too great.
Once the music came to an end, Lord Hugh escorted her back to her sisters and Edward. He released her arm and asked, “Would you care for something to drink?”
Amelia gave him a weak smile. “No, thank you.”
A look of disappointment flashed on his features. “Then I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening, Miss Blackmore,” Lord Hugh said before he disappeared back into the crowd.
“Poor Lord Hugh,” Hannah commented from next to her. “He just wanted to linger with you for a little while longer.”
“I’m afraid I am not interested in making conversation tonight,” Amelia admitted as her eyes strayed towards the open French doors in the rear of the ballroom. “I think I just want to be alone for a moment.”
