by Jamie Knight
I stop at Hung’s Chinese Kitchen. They have the best food around. I order a big bowl of wanton soup with extra water chestnuts, eggrolls, pork strips, chicken Chop Suey, and some white rice.
I make sure I order enough since Amanda mentioned that her roommate Margie is home and I want to have enough for her as well. She’s Anne’s sister so I want to make sure she’s happy, because Anne is really cool and I’m glad she talked to Damien for me or else maybe I wouldn’t be able to see Amanda again right now.
I pull up and take the big brown bag of Chinese food out and ring the doorbell. I hear muffled voices behind the door arguing.
The door opens.
“Hi,” Amanda says.
“Hi,” I say.
Margie pushes her way from behind the door and pauses. She gives me one big look-over, adjusts her glasses, and turns to Amanda.
“I guess he’ll keep,” she says and darts down the stairs.
I watch her walk away.
“What was that all about?” I ask.
“Nothing,” Amanda says.
She grabs my arm and pulls me into the house.
“Geez,” I say aloud and run my hand through my hair.
I’ve had serious opponents, but none as tough as her.
Amanda tightens her grip on my biceps leads me over to couch.
“Sit down,” she says, and disappears into the kitchen.
No matter what I do, I think to myself, nothing for no one ain’t ever going to be good enough.
Amanda comes back out with two plates of food and we start to eat.
“Don’t worry about Margie,” she says. “She’s harmless.”
I say nothing. I mean, I feel kind of guilty and maybe Margie senses that I’m truly the impostor she thinks I am.
“So, you’ve never really told me about what happened?”
I look up as I’m about to shove a chopstick-full load of white rice into my mouth.
“About what?”
“About you, about your life.”
“Oh,” I say and emit a sigh of relief.
I guess my guilt is getting to me.
“Tell me about your childhood,” Amanda says and laughs.
“Well,” I begin.
I place my plate on the table and lean back and start thinking.
The years roll back and by, and I see myself as that hurt little kid whose father hated him and whose mother would do anything to hold onto a man even if it meant abusing her own kids to satisfy his sick fucking perverted pleasures.
My mother was a total fuck up.
It’s no wonder I don’t want to see her sorry, pathetic ass.
Anything for a guy. Wow, what some women will do just to hold onto some fuckin’ loser guy.
And the guys my mother was with, my father included, were just that.
Fuckin’ losers.
And my mother was too.
And, I’m sure, still is.
My younger brother and sister ended up on foster care before me, and I consider them the lucky ones.
I’m lucky they got out unscathed.
I feel proud about that.
I guess you could say I took it for the team.
“My dad left us,” I say to Amanda. “And my mom tried to get him to stay.”
Amanda places her plate on the table and sits on her feet as she snuggles into the corner of the sofa.
“Yes.”
“It was pretty ugly. All I remember are these scenes of my mother’s desperation.”
I explain it all to her. My father would return once in a while when drunk to fuck my mother and, as he left, she’d be a bawling mess and grabbing onto him as he walked out the door.
“Don’t leave me, Jim! Don’t leave me!” she’d cry.
“Fuck you, you whore!” he’d yell back as he got into his brand-new pickup and drove off.
(Yeah, he could buy a brand-new truck and not support his own fuckin’ kids.)
My mother would collapse onto the floor and sob.
It was all I could do to get her to bed.
“Oh, you poor baby,” she says and moves over and rubs my thigh.
She takes my hand in hers, and I continue.
My mother had always drunk, but it reached a point where it became excessive. She never went to work, drank all day, and whored all night. Soon the booze turned into crystal meth on top of the alcohol. She was a complete mess.
Amanda squeezes my hand, and I’ve never opened up to anyone like this before, but I keep going. I need to get all of this out of me.
My grandmother would come over and yell at my mother to get her act together, and it was just so hurtful to see it all. My grandmother was a tough woman who took nobody’s shit, and my brother, sister and I feared but respected her. She got my brother and sister out of foster care and they went to live with her. My grandmother had money, and my brother and sister went to private schools and had nothing to do with me or my mother
I, on the other hand, refused to abandon my mother.
Until that one night.
Earlier that day, I had come home from school and was doing my homework. I started paying attention at school because I figured if I was smart like my brother and sister then they would talk to me again. Dr. Phil droned on in the background when the door to the dingy apartment opened.
It was my grandmother.
“Hello, Lincoln,” she said.
I stood up and went over to her.
She hugged and kissed me and cried.
“Here,” she said. “I brought you this.”
She had brought me a chicken salad sandwich with chips and pickles.
“I don’t want you to go hungry,” she said and wiped her eyes.
“Thank you, Grandma,” I said and hugged her again.
I felt happy.
I don’t know what she sensed at that moment, but she leaned down, held my chin between her fingers, and directed me to look at her.
“Anytime you need to,” she said. “Anytime you need me, call me and I’ll come pick you up.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said.
“Just remember,” she said and turned to leave.
I opened the bag up and looked up to thank her but, when I did so, she had vanished.
I woke up in the middle of the night to laughing and crashing sounds.
My mother was home and with some guy.
I heard my mother fixing drinks in the kitchen and then I fell back asleep.
When I awoke, my mother was sitting on my bed.
“Lincoln,” she said. “I want you to meet Mommy’s friend.”
“I don’t want to,” I said.
“Well, he sure wants to meet you,” she said and laughed in her wheezy, smoke-ridden way and then coughed and choked.
I knew what was up.
“C’mon,” she said. “Do it for Mama. I’ll buy you something extra.”
Just then her “friend” appeared in the doorway.
“Hi, Lincoln,” he said. “I’m Luke.”
He was a cowboy type with the hat and all. He started unbuttoning his denim snap shirt.
I sat up in bed and looked from him to my mother.
“Go fix me another drink, Candy,” Luke said. “The least you could do is serve me as your guest. That crystal ain’t gonna pay for itself.”
“Alright, baby,” she said, and went back out into the kitchen.
“C’mon, Lincoln,” Luke said. “It’s just a game. We’ll all have fun.”
By then Luke’s shirt was off and he rubbed his hairy pecs up and down.
“We gonna have some fun, you and me, boy,” he said
He grabbed my hand and rubbed his chest with it.
“That sure feels good,” he said in a low breathy way.
I pulled my hand away.
“That’s not how this game is gonna be played, little boy!” he said and stood up.
“Fuck you!” I screamed.
Luke pinned me down and laughed.
“You ain�
��t got the strength, you little jerk!” he said. “You know you want me!”
I struggled and struggled but he pinned me down with his left forearm. But then I reached up with my arm and punched him, hard. He was right in front of me and I bit his dick through the pants he was wearing, even harder.
“Oww!” he screamed and snapped up. “You little bitch!”
I ran out the bedroom door in only my pajamas.
I guess that was when my fighting career really started. That night, I was determined to fight off anyone who tried to hurt me, and I did.
I heard scuffling and yells from behind me. I grabbed the cordless phone from its base and ran outside.
I knew I had only a certain distance, but I called my grandmother and told her to come get me.
I threw the cordless phone into a dumpster and ran toward my grandmother’s.
The car pulled up and stopped. My grandmother rolled down the back window, opened the door, and let me in.
“We’re going home,” she said.
After that, I tried not to speak to my mom again. Sure, there were a few times she popped back into my life, claiming she wanted to hang with her son, but it turned out to be because she needed money. As soon as she had some, she’d be back on the streets, ignoring me.
So I tried not to see her. And going to where she lived in Texas sounded like the worst place in the world to go to me. Even though I wanted to go wherever Amanda was.
Chapter 18
Lincoln
That was the end of my story. When I finish telling it, Amanda’s mouth is hanging open.
“Okay, well now I can totally see why you don’t want to go back to Texas,” she says. “I’m really sorry for trying to push you to go there.”
“It’s fine,” I tell her. “I know you just wanted me to spend Christmas and New Year’s with you and meet your family. And that’s pretty sweet.”
“Yeah, and when I said all families have problems, well, in mine, my dad always falls asleep when we try to watch movies, and my brother and mother bicker over what they should watch once he does. I feel bad for accidentally trivializing your issues. We don’t have to go to Odessa. We could just stay here for Christmas and New Year’s.”
I like the way she says “we.” I feel as if I’d been fighting within myself for a long time. Should I go to Odessa with her or not? Should I spend Christmas with her or not? Should I continue my fighting career or not? Should I follow all the recommendations for my knee and eyes or not?
Now I realize I’m tired of fighting. I just want to give in and have a nice relaxing time with my girl.
She is my girl, I realize, whether we have made it official or not. Come to think of it, I should get on that.
I look at her, say nothing, and stand up.
She stands up too and then leads me into her bedroom. She has a big canopy bed with lots of white lace and pink drapery.
She can be such a girly girl. And I like it.
We enter her room and get onto her bed.
“I want you,” I say and stare at her.
“Are you sure?” she asks.
“Yes. I want everything that entails. Your pink canopy bed, and going with you to meet your family in Texas. We’ll just, like, maybe not go to mine. I don’t know if my mom is even still alive but if she is, I assume she’s always on drugs. It’s better to just leave the past in the past and stop fighting it. So that we can look forward to the future together. And enjoy the present. And right now, I want to fuck you.”
“OK,” she says. “I like all those ideas and I agree. Especially with the part about us fucking right now. Just let me get changed. I don’t feel sexy right now.”
Amanda goes into the bathroom.
I lean back on her big fluffy pillows and about a million throw pillows tossed at the head of the bed and close my eyes.
Boy, is this bed comfortable.
Then I remember my Rex.
I call John, my neighbor, who I asked to look after him. John is a good guy. A gay guy who’d do anything for me and who is so smart.
“Hello,” John says.
“Hey, man,” I say. “How’s my buddy doing?”
“Oh, he’s great,” John says. “I’m writing a conference paper on Emily Dickinson’s poetry and have been asking him his advice.”
“And what does Rexie say?” I ask and laugh.
“He just looks up at me, yawns, lays his head back down, lets out an enormous sigh and goes back to sleep.”
“That sounds like him. He must be happy there with you, for sure. Thanks for taking care of my baby, man.”
“Sure, Lincoln,” John says. “It’s all good. I at least have someone to listen to me whether voluntarily or not.”
“I’m sure Rexie appreciates it.”
“Bye, you hot stud who is unfortunately straight,” John says.
I laugh and tell him thanks again and goodbye. I don’t think it’s so unfortunate that I’m straight though. Not now that I’m about to sex with the hottest woman I’ve ever seen, all over again.
I sit up and take off my shirt and strip to my boxers. I always sleep like this. Plus, if I’m with Amanda I want to be even more comfortable.
Amanda comes out of the bathroom wearing a silk nightgown that accentuates her curves.
I immediately grow hard.
She gets in bed and snuggles up to me.
“Thank you,” she says.
“For what?”
“For opening up to me. For telling me your story.”
“Shoot,” I say. “Weren’t nothin’.”
“Yeah, it is.”
I grab hold of her, and we cuddle and immediately fall asleep.
Shit.
I wake up and I’m as hard as hell.
Amanda squirms.
“Baby, you up?” I ask.
“Yes,” she says as she sits up and rubs her eyes.
She is too damn cute.
“I’m horny,” I say.
I lift the covers and pull down my boxers to show her my throbbing erection.
“We’d better take care of that,” she says playfully.
“Look,” I say. “I’m so hard I got pre-cum already leaking.”
“Mmmm,” she says.
She takes her finger and swipes my pre-cum and rubs her lips with it. Then she licks it off. But it seems she’s holding back just a bit.
“So, you ready?” I ask.
She sighs.
“What’s wrong?” I ask,
She sighs again.
“I don’t’ know,” she says. She stands up and puts on her slippers. “After all you told me, do you feel OK about doing all of this?”
I get out of bed, my erection throbbing and pre-cum leaking on the floor.
“Yes, babe,” I say. “It ain’t like that. Not with you. I don’t get any bad memories or anything like that.”
She looks down at my cock and smiles.
“OK, that’s good to hear. So, get on the bed.”
She throws me on the bed, gets on her knees and starts sucking.
She wraps her hands around my shaft and moves them up and down. I love looking at her eyes glancing up at me as she does it, as if to ask whether she’s doing a good enough job, and she sure is.
It has got to be the best blow job I’ve ever had. She sucks on the head of my cock and then she deepthroats me, taking all of me in her mouth. I cum hard, the orgasm so intense it’s as if I wet myself, and I immediately get hard again. She swallows my cum like a fucking champ.
“You OK?” she asks as she lifts her head and wipes the cum off her mouth.
“You bet,” I say. “Keep going.”
“Anything for you, stud.”
“I think I might love you,” I say, but she doesn’t hear me.
She’s too busy sucking my cock and I don’t want to interrupt her at all. But I also want to be in her pussy. I feel I can cum at least two more times.
She grabs a hold of my cock.
I lean in
and look at her.
“You look so serious,” she says.
“I am,” I say and kiss her.
We make out and then I work my way down to her tits. I lovingly bunch them up and squeeze them and kiss them. I lick her nipples and she leans back with her eyes closed and breathes heavily.
I take her gently. I take my cockhead and rub it over her clit. My cock plays with her clit as I precum even more. I start to think I should have a condom on, because the way I’m feeling about her right now, my cock is a guaranteed babymaker.
I know she said she’s on the Pill, but you can never be too safe and nothing is 100% failure-proof. But I start to think I do want a baby with her, just not yet. And I’ve never had that thought about anyone but her so that’s really saying something.
I then enter her gently and push. I stay in her and then move back. I stop. Then I move forward again.
She sits up and wraps her arms around my neck and bites my shoulder. I feel her teeth gently cutting into the nape of my neck.
I move back and forth more quickly until I reach a steady rhythm.
She cries and moans.
“Jake,” she says. “Jake, fuck me. Fuck me hard.”
I say nothing as the sweat beads up and drips down my face and onto her back.
I fuck her really hard now and she’s on the verge of an orgasm. I love to watch her big ass bounce and I can’t help but grab ahold of it and squeeze it some and even smack it for good measure.
“Don’t stop! Don’t stop!” she screams.
I feel my nuts about to bust and I’m as horny as hell.
She leans back onto the bed as I blow my load into the condom, my cock still filling her up nice and tight as I shoot it into her little pussy.
“Yes! Yes! Yes! That’s it!” she screams.
She orgasms and explodes about the same time I do.
I slow down as she catches her breath.
I collapse on top of her and try to catch my own breath.
We lay there for a while, basking in the afterglow of some of the hottest sex I’ve ever had.
“Come here,” she says.
I get up and lie next to her on the bed.
“You’re the best lover I’ve ever had,” she says and looks at me.
I kiss her on the mouth and nestle her against my chest.
