Hoping for a Father

by Lois Richer

  “Here you are,” she said, setting the plate in front of Drew. “This coffee’s almost fresh.”

  “Thank you.” He grabbed the mug and almost inhaled the dark brew before sighing. “I’m lousy at making coffee. Can’t you teach me?”

  Surprised he’d think she could teach him anything, Mandy said, “It’s simple.”

  “Not for me.” He took another swig before shaking his head. “I can cook pretty much anything. But I cannot make coffee.”

  “You cook?” She gaped at him.

  “Yes. Because I like to eat.” He shrugged. “What’s so weird about that?”

  “I just never—”

  “Taste the pancakes, Drew,” Ella ordered. Mandy cleared her throat. “Please,” the little girl quickly added.

  “Here goes.” Drew poked through, probably to find a piece with the fewest chocolate chips. As if summoning his courage, he took a breath before sliding the fork into his mouth. His dark eyes widened in surprise as he chewed. “Hey, this is really good.”

  Mandy rolled her eyes. Drew had always had a sweet tooth. She got busy cooking more pancakes. Ella disappeared to get ready for church, which left an awkward gap of silence. Mandy ran water into the sink and generally made a lot of noise, hoping that would make it difficult to hold a conversation. A few minutes later, having run out of excuses, she saw surprise flood Drew’s face and turned to see her daughter wearing her fanciest dress, a velvet one she’d worn to be flower girl at a friend’s wedding.

  “Wow! You look very nice, Ella.” Drew leaned back in his chair.

  “Honey, it’s supposed to be warm today. That dress—” Mandy watched the determined glitter grow in her daughter’s dark eyes and gave up. “Don’t complain to me if you’re too hot in church,” she warned.

  “I won’t. Are you wearing that to church?” Ella asked Drew in disapproval.

  “I wasn’t actually planning—”

  “You c’n wear jeans, but nicer ones. Those are ripped.” Ella crossed her arms over her chest. “So’s your shirt. An’ your hair’s all mussy. Miss Partridge doesn’t like mussy hair. She’ll talk to you ’bout it,” she warned.

  Drew looked so trapped by just the thought of conversation with Miss Partridge that Mandy wanted to hoot with laughter. Shouldn’t a grown man be over his childhood fear of the town’s former librarian? But she kept a serious face and her lips locked. Let Drew get out of this on his own.

  “I wasn’t going to go to church this morning, Ella,” he explained as he finished his coffee and pushed away his plate. “But I guess I should, if only to thank folks for helping out Ma and Pops.”

  “That would be nice,” Mandy agreed, keeping her back turned. “I know everyone in town would like to see you again. Especially Miss Partridge.”

  “You sure know how to spread cheer,” Drew said dryly as he rose. “Thank you for the breakfast and the coffee. It was as good as Ella promised.”

  Mandy’s heart pinched when he smiled at their daughter. Ella almost glowed with happiness at his attention. What would happen to her precious child when Drew left?

  “Oh, may I catch a ride with you?” he asked, stopping in the doorway.

  “Bonnie’s car is here. I’m sure she won’t mind if you use it while you’re here.” Fear of spending intimate moments in the car with Drew had her blurting out the words before she could stop them. Immediately Mandy regretted saying that because it made her look defensive. “I should have told you that before. The problem is, it has a flat. Since we’re both going to church, you’re more than welcome to join us for the ride. Can you be ready in half an hour?”

  “Why so early?” he asked, frowning.

  “There’s a baby dedication for my friends, the Hanovers, this morning and it will be crowded. There’s usually a huge turnout to witness parents promising to raise their child for God,” she added, interpreting his frown as an objection. “But we have Sunday school classes first.”

  “Ah.” He nodded. “Half an hour.” Then he was gone, loping across the yard to his parents’ home.

  Mandy heaved a sigh of relief, trying to release the spring of tension that had overtaken her body. She always found baby dedications difficult, often fighting tears as the parents promised to raise their child as God directed. The solemn words always reminded her of when she’d been pregnant and she’d promised... No!

  Mandy inhaled, drawing on her inner strength. She hoped Drew wouldn’t sit with them. If she got teary-eyed during the dedication, he’d ask questions. But that concern wasn’t enough to cause her to miss her friends’ special event.

  There was also the matter of the local gossips and how they’d interpret Drew’s presence on the ranch as more than just a helping hand. In the year and a half since Mandy had returned, it had taken a steady focus on work for gossip about her and Ella to die down.

  Now that Drew was back, would it begin all over again? She couldn’t let that happen. Her punishment for disobeying one of God’s rules about love and marriage was to remain alone. She’d promised that when Ella was born. Drew’s reappearance couldn’t change anything.

  Mandy whispered a prayer for courage as she did the dishes, knowing it was going to take every bit of resolve and control she possessed to walk into the church beside Drew and face people who’d known them back when.

  But what other choice did she have?

  “Wear your prettiest dress today, Mama.” Ella bounced from one foot to the other. “The blue one.”

  Mandy trailed her daughter into the bedroom. Drawing attention to herself wasn’t smart, but some internal longing made her want to show Drew she was more than just a plain rancher.

  “Why that one?” she asked.

  “’Cause you look so pretty in it. God wants us to look pretty, doesn’t He?”

  “I guess He does, honey.” Mandy slid the flowery cotton sateen sundress over her head and let it glide down her body. She fastened plain silver earrings and braided her hair, adding a dark blue clip. A touch of eyeshadow, mascara and lip gloss, and she was ready.

  “Not those old shoes, Mama.” Ella dug in the closet. “These.”

  Mandy gulped at the four-inch heels swinging from Ella’s hand. She’d forgotten she owned them. She slid her feet in between the straps and stood. Hopefully she wouldn’t fall flat on her face.

  “Mama, you look so beautiful,” Ella breathed in awe.

  “Thank you. So do you, sweetheart.” Maybe clothes really did make the woman because for the first time in a long while, Mandy felt attractive.

  Exhaling, she led the way out to her car and gulped at the sight of immaculately attired Drew who stood waiting with one hip against her front fender.

  Was it wrong to feel a wiggle of satisfaction when he stared at her?

  Mandy didn’t know. And didn’t care. She simply savored it.

  * * *

  Mandy was more beautiful than ever. Was it the maturity in her face, those jutting cheekbones and clear emerald eyes that added to her attraction? That dress certainly helped. And those heels...

  “I’ll drive,” he said, drawing open the passenger door.

  “That’s not necessary... Um, okay.”

  Drew stared as Mandy, whom he’d never known to be mercurial, changed her mind midsentence and handed him the keys before swinging her legs into her car.

  Ella climbed into her car seat in the back and quickly fastened her belt as if she was in a hurry. She was an independent child, his—Mandy’s daughter. Drew had no claim on this child. I don’t want one. Remember?

  He shoved away his thoughts and took the driver’s seat.

  “Bonnie said you live in New York. Do you drive a lot in the city?” Mandy’s voice sounded stilted, as if she felt she had to make conversation.

  “Not much. Parking’s a nightmare and anyway, the subway’s so easy.” He surveyed the valle
ys and the mountains beyond and smiled. “New York is nothing like Hanging Hearts Ranch.”

  “Do you like the crush of people and traffic there?” she mused.

  “I’m used to it. Since I work alone a lot, it’s sometimes nice to lose yourself in the city’s busyness. And there are lots of places I can have breakfast at two in the afternoon. Not pancakes, peaches and chocolate, but still.” Drew grinned at her droll expression. “What about you? Ever have a hankering to return to the lights of Missoula?”

  “Goodness, no!” She half shuddered. “I was a misfit there. Hanging Hearts Ranch is where I belong. With the animals.”

  “Not looking like that,” he murmured appreciatively. “What about the winters? You never liked the cold.” He remembered them skating on the ice rink his parents had made.

  “It wasn’t the cold I hated, Drew.” Mandy rolled her eyes. “It was the endless hours you made me spend pushing around a puck.”

  “When you wanted to do double and triple axels.” He laughed while privately wondering how he could coax a little more speed from her vehicle. “I haven’t forgotten that.”

  “Mama teached me to skate,” Ella piped up from the back. “But I can’t do jumps and spins like she does.”

  “Your mother is the queen of spins, Bella Ella.” Drew didn’t want to recall the past, but memories of moments he’d spent with Mandy riding, hiking, skating and swimming flooded his brain like crystal drops. Happy precious moments that had made his youth fun just because she was there. How had they lost that?

  “What’s Bella mean?” Ella demanded and grinned when Drew said beautiful.

  “Lately I feel like I’m spinning a lot.” Mandy peeked at him through her lashes. “How about you? Is your schedule here too much?’

  “It was rough at first,” he admitted. “But it’s getting easier. Oliver is amazing. He always seems to know exactly who to keep an eye on.”

  “He’s been a real blessing since he arrived.”

  Mandy didn’t say any more and Drew wondered why, especially since Oliver had never offered any details of his past life.

  “Oh, boy.” Mandy grimaced as they drove into the church parking lot. “There’s already a ton of people here. I’d hoped—” She cut off whatever she’d been going to say, leaving Drew wondering.

  He pulled into an empty space and slid the gearshift into Park.

  “Problem?” Mandy’s smirk confused him.

  “Old people park here. What are the grandmas and grandpas called again, Mama?” Ella’s seat belt clinked as she unclasped it and wiggled forward. “I c’n never ’member that word.”

  “Seniors.” Mandy waited patiently while her daughter repeated it.

  Miss Partridge stood by the church, eyeing them with one arched eyebrow. Drew wanted to get inside before she could accost them and lecture him as she had so often in the past, until Ella’s comment penetrated.

  “I’m in the seniors’ parking area? I didn’t see a sign.” Drew grimaced, certain Miss Partridge would point out his faux pas the minute they went inside. “Put your belt on again, Ella. I’ll find a new spot.”

  “’Cause we’re not seniors, right, Drew?” Her seat belt clicked.

  “Not yet, Bella.” Drew headed for the farthest corner of the lot, his satisfaction multiplying when Miss Partridge paused midstep to watch them move away. After a moment she readjusted her feathered hat, shook her head and marched inside the church. He knew she’d be lying in wait for him.

  “Uh, Drew?” Mandy touched his arm. “This isn’t church property.”

  Clenching his jaw, he knew he’d gone too far because his focus hadn’t been on driving. He backed up, parked and got out.

  “Don’t you dare say a word,” he ordered as he held Mandy’s door open.

  She managed to stay silent, probably because she was concentrating on not letting her spiky heels sink into the gravel. Drew relented and held out his arm, which Mandy grabbed with thanks. Ella clasped his other hand, chattering a mile a minute as they walked to the church. Drew had no clue what she said. He was trying to mentally prepare himself for going back to the place where his questions about God had never been answered.

  They’d barely entered the foyer when Miss Partridge appeared.

  “Don’t look so mad,” Mandy breathed. “Smile and pretend you really want to be here. Good morning, Miss Partridge,” she said in a bright, cheery voice. “My, what a lovely hat. I’ve never seen such a big feather.”

  “Thank you, dear.” The former librarian preened and patted her sausage curls. “I designed it myself.”

  “You certainly have a talent.” Mandy listened to her explain hat-making, nodded and then excused herself to take Ella to her class. “The adults meet in the fireside room,” she told Drew.

  “Don’t worry about him, dear. I’ll make sure he gets there.” Miss Partridge latched on to Drew’s arm and forcefully tugged. “It’s nice to see you and Mandy together again. You make such a lovely couple.”

  “We’re not—” Drew never got a chance to finish his denial.

  “Though you’ve been home several times, I don’t believe you’ve attended since our renovations here were completed,” Miss Partridge pointed out briskly.

  “No.” What else could he say?

  “I helped design the renovations,” she announced proudly.

  “Stunning,” Drew murmured, knowing that was expected. “The color combination is very, er, uplifting.”

  “I always think purple is so regal. This is our new fireside room.” She chose a chair, then patted the one next to hers. “Sit right here, dear.”

  “Thank you.” With no escape available, Drew sat.

  “Mandy looks especially beautiful today. For you?” Miss Partridge batted her lashes coquettishly, her curious gaze searching for something, anything to tell the world.

  “We are not a couple.” There, he’d made that clear, not that he thought it would make much difference to this woman. “And Mandy’s always been beautiful,” he added.

  “She doesn’t often wear dresses to church.” Miss Partridge leaned closer and whispered, “She does such mannish work, you know. I think she finds it difficult to be ladylike on Sundays. Why, she often even wears jeans here,” she said in a slightly scandalized voice.

  “I see a lot of other folks do, also. Like me,” Drew pointed out, irritated by her denigration of Mandy. “I can’t imagine anyone questioning Mandy’s femininity no matter what she wears.”

  In fact, several of the men were smiling as Mandy entered the room. She greeted each person by name, friendly but nothing more.

  “It’s good to hear you defend her, Drew. Obviously she’s someone you care about. Oh, there’s Edna. I need to tell her something. Excuse me?” Miss Partridge darted away.

  Drew exhaled and gave up. From the day he’d first arrived here, he’d never been able to get in the last word with Miss Partridge. Apparently nothing had changed.

  “You’re making our eyes pop today, girl,” one of the older men said to Mandy. “Those shoes look a lot nicer than your boots.”

  “Thank you, Marcus.” Mandy thrust out her foot and studied her shoe. She seemed to have no idea of her beauty. “You should tell Ella. She chose them.”

  “Kid has good taste,” Marcus praised.

  Drew studied the guffawing older males, but his gaze quickly returned to Mandy. She seemed—embarrassed?—by their attention. But then she’d always preferred to be one of the group, never a show-off, except when she was trick riding or figure skating.

  “Well, sorry, guys, but come next Sunday, the boots will be back. Can’t work in these heels.” Amid a chorus of teasing boos, she sat down next to Drew in Miss Partridge’s chair. “Okay if I sit here?” she asked him belatedly.

  “Perfect.” Overly conscious of the curious looks directed his way, Drew knew the form
er librarian had been talking about him and Mandy. He didn’t want people speculating about the two of them, and yet, he felt oddly proud sitting next to this woman. Why that was, he didn’t want to contemplate. “What happens now?”

  “We usually have a teaching time while the kids are in Sunday school,” she explained. “It’s a little different setup than when we were kids, but the lessons are so good. John Purdy is very knowledgeable Biblically, and even better at sharing what he knows. He moved to Sunshine a year ago.”

  Admiration laced her voice. That made Drew curious. “Which one is he?”

  “He’s not here yet. I’ll introduce you later.” Mandy opened her bulletin.

  Drew mentally sighed at the thought of sitting through two sermons, this John fellow’s and then the pastor’s. Why had he accepted Ella’s breakfast offer?

  Because you’re tired of always being alone? Because you wanted to be with Mandy and Ella? He brushed aside that inner voice.

  “We usually grab a coffee,” Mandy told him. “Want one?”

  “Always.” Drew followed her to a bar where coffee supplies were laid out. Expecting some generic dishwater blend, Drew was pleasantly surprised when he resumed his seat and took a sip.

  “Good, isn’t it?” Mandy grinned. “John insists he can’t teach if there isn’t good coffee to be had. He orders a special blend just for this class.”

  “If he can make coffee in a big urn like that taste this good, I need to meet John.” Drew cradled his cup and leaned back as a tall, wiry cowboy strode to a lectern and opened his Bible.

  Miss Partridge scurried into a seat across the room. She showed no sign of dismay at losing her spot. In fact, the lady winked at him.

  Hoping the coffee would keep him alert, Drew soon realized he needn’t have worried about nodding off. John’s teaching on the book of Revelation kept him so focused, he started at the sound of a buzzer ending the session. John dismissed the group, then walked toward them.

  “Hey, Mandy.”

  “John, I don’t think you’ve met Bonnie and Ben’s son, Drew.” Mandy’s huge smile made Drew wonder if she had a soft spot for the rancher who did not, he noticed, wear a wedding ring.