Hoping for a Father

by Lois Richer

  “Pleased to meet you, Drew.” A flicker of curiosity lit the teacher’s blue eyes.

  “Drew’s home to lend a hand while his parents recuperate,” Mandy explained.

  “Oh, so you’re a rancher, too.” The other man nodded.

  “No, I’m a financial analyst,” Drew corrected. “Mandy’s the rancher. I’m just here to do whatever she tells me.” Stupidly, he felt smug satisfaction at John’s blink of surprise.

  “Oh. Well, welcome to our class. It’s an interesting study. Excuse me. I need to speak to a board member about supplies.”

  “You’re just here to do whatever I tell you?” Mandy arched one eyebrow, her tone acerbic. “Since when?”

  “Is John someone special to you?” How Drew wished he could withdraw that stupid question. It was none of his business. But Mandy had always been his girl.

  She dumped you, dummy.

  “All my friends are special.” Mandy tucked her bag under her arm, then lifted her head to study him. “But not in the way you mean.”

  “Why not? He’s okay in the looks department.”

  “John is exceptional in the looks department,” she corrected with a tiny smile that sent a new spark of irritation to Drew’s brain. “He is, however, coming out of a bad relationship. Besides which, neither of us are interested. And before you ask, I have more than enough on my plate with Ella and the Double H. I don’t have time to figure out romance.”

  “Huh.” He followed her to a pew in the sanctuary which, thankfully, was far away from Miss Partridge. “Doesn’t Ella join us?”

  “They have kids’ church,” she whispered as the prelude began. “It’s a good way for children to learn how to sit through a service because it follows the same pattern as here, only it’s at their level.”

  “Oh.” Drew rose with everyone else as a music team led them in the first hymn, one he’d sung as a teen.

  After the baby dedication, during which Mandy sniffed, blew her nose and refused to look at him, the morning followed a familiar church pattern. Announcements, lots of singing and a solo by the cowboy who’d led their adult class all led up to a sermon about new beginnings and the choice of starting over with God leading the way or falling back into the same old patterns.

  Pastor Joe’s comments forced Drew to ponder his return to the Double H. So far he had been following his old patterns. Maybe it was time to change that up?

  Mandy’s nudge to his ribs ended his musings. Drew rose hastily for the benediction, vowing to mull it over again later. As they exited the sanctuary, former friends and acquaintances stopped to greet him and offer best wishes for his parents’ recovery. Mandy seemed impatient to leave—because she wanted to collect Ella? Drew made his excuses and then walked with her to find Ella. A cacophony of chattering told him kids’ church was over.

  “Mama.” Ella raced over and grabbed her mother’s skirt. “It’s potluck day. Are we staying? Did we bring something to share?”

  Drew couldn’t translate Mandy’s expression.

  “I didn’t bring anything, sweetie, because we’re not staying,” she murmured after a sideways look at Drew.

  “Why not?” Ella glowered, clearly disappointed.

  “Because we’re going to see Auntie Bonnie and Uncle Ben, remember?” Mandy didn’t look at him. “We can eat along the way.”

  “You’re going—why didn’t you tell me? I’d like to see them again.” Drew tried to smother a burst of annoyance that she hadn’t included him.

  “I didn’t plan it this way intentionally,” Mandy explained softly. “But since you’re escorting that ladies riding group this afternoon, I thought I’d keep quiet about our trip so you wouldn’t feel bad.”

  Why did he always think the worst of her?

  “I forgot about that group.” Shocked by how much he wanted to accompany Mandy and Ella, Drew figured he’d better have a talk with himself while she and Ella were gone. “Maybe when I get some free time, I could take Bonnie’s car and visit them?”

  “Sure, once the flat is fixed. Oh, excuse me.” She answered her phone, frowning as she listened. “Well, thank you for calling,” she said. “I am so sorry about your friend. We’ll try to rebook your group, but I’m not sure what openings we have left. May I call you back? By tomorrow morning for sure.”

  “Problem?” Drew noticed her shoulders tense. “Mandy?” he prodded when she didn’t respond.

  “Seems things have changed. I guess you’re free to come with us to see your parents after all. The ladies riding group needs to reschedule. One of them is ill and the others don’t want to go without her. That is, if you want to come along?” she added.

  “I would. Thank you,” he said firmly.

  “So c’n we stay for potluck and c’n Drew drive Auntie Bonnie’s car?” Ella begged.

  “The tire—”

  “I’ll ask Oliver if he can change it while we eat,” Drew interrupted Mandy. “He’s on duty today and he was complaining about being bored. Then we can take Bonnie’s, if you want.”

  “It’s not me who wants that.” Mandy didn’t look thrilled.

  “I do. ’Cause then we won’t have to go so slow in Mama’s car.” Ella squealed with delight at her mother’s resigned nod before racing off to tell her friends.

  “So slow?” Drew couldn’t figure it out.

  “My car has an issue. I’ve had it into the garage,” she said, holding up a hand to forestall his comments. “Twice. They can’t find what’s wrong with it. All I know is that I can’t get it to go much over forty miles an hour. You must have noticed that on the way here when you kept pressing the gas pedal and nothing happened.”

  “So why don’t you use Bonnie’s car?”

  “Because, as you just said, it’s Bonnie’s car. Not mine,” she said in a stern voice.

  “Stubborn pride,” Drew muttered. “I’ll drive.”

  “You don’t have—”

  “I told you I don’t get to drive in the city much,” he interrupted. “I’d like to do some driving while I’m here.”

  “Oh.” Mandy studied him for several moments until she finally managed an embarrassed smile and a laugh. “Sorry. Just trying to wrap my mind around you on the subway, surrounded by people.”

  “There are a lot of things you don’t know about me, Mandy.” Drew had no intention of explaining or discussing his city life. Nor was he going to admit it couldn’t compare to the vibrant life of the ranch, or that he didn’t understand why that was. “Potluck?” he prompted.

  “I didn’t bring anything. I never do because we usually don’t stay.” There was a desperate tone to her voice that he didn’t comprehend until she mumbled, “I don’t cook very well.”

  “You do excellent pancakes. Should have brought some of those,” he teased, astonished that he was enjoying this repartee. “I should have kept your keys.”

  “Why?” She dug in her purse before tentatively extending them.

  “I’ll make an ice cream run. Should be back just in time for the kids’ dessert. I’ll be the hit of the party.” Keys in hand, Drew left, threading his way through the crowd, smiling as he savored her startled look.

  Mandy wasn’t the only one who could manage situations.

  Drew was not going to delve into why that seemed so important for him to prove to her.

  Chapter Six

  It was nice to be driven, to have someone else be in charge for a change, though Mandy didn’t admit that aloud. Instead she concentrated on the spectacular mountain scenery.

  “I like going fast,” Ella chirped from the back seat. “Auntie Bonnie’s car is way better.”

  Don’t feel hurt, Mandy told herself. Ella’s a kid. Of course she appreciates bigger, faster, prettier cars. So do you.

  “Our car will be just fine for us, Ella.” Once it was fixed.

  “Do Ma and P
ops know we’re coming?” Drew seldom called the couple Mom and Dad. He’d told her once that those terms were reserved for the birth parents he’d lost. That was just one of the barriers he’d erected and never taken down since the accident, like never calling Hanging Hearts Ranch home.

  “I told Bonnie we were coming last night. She won’t know you’ve joined us though.” Mandy fiddled with her purse, suddenly uncomfortable trying to make conversation with this stranger who’d been her best friend since they were nine.

  “Do you call her often?” Drew asked.

  “Every day, if I can. I think it must be difficult for them to be away from the Double H as well as going through the pain of their treatment,” she murmured under cover of Ella’s humming. “Hopefully a daily phone call helps distract them.”

  “That’s thoughtful.” Drew glanced at her, then returned his gaze to the road. “Considering the demands you must have on your time, it’s also very generous.”

  “Actually, I’m the one who benefits most.” Mandy caught his quizzical frown and chuckled. “Somehow Bonnie always manages to cheer me up, instead of the other way around.”

  “Yeah, she’s like that.” Drew’s words reminded her that while she’d had his parents to lean on these past few months, he’d had no one. As far as she knew, he never called simply to have a listening ear.

  How sad that Drew had missed out on sharing his burdens with people who really cared about him and his life. Mandy suspected he didn’t often call because he knew Bonnie would worry if she discerned unhappiness in his voice.

  Even before they’d split, Drew had never shared much about his college life with Mandy. No doubt he’d figured she wouldn’t understand his classes, and maybe she wouldn’t have, but it would have been reassuring to hear his voice. Now she realized that his discomfort with talking might have kept him from opening up over the phone and had probably caused him lots of other problems, too.

  Or maybe he had someone special in his world now, someone who helped him through it. Funny how that thought depressed her. So did visiting the hospital.

  A wealth of memories boiled up whenever she entered hospitals and got a whiff of that medicinal smell. And this wasn’t even the hospital where she’d been taken when...

  Stop it. The past is over.

  “It’s quiet here today.” Mandy watched him find the best parking spot in the hospital lot with ease.

  Soon they were inside, walking down the gleaming hallway with Drew carrying the basket of fruit Mandy had insisted on bringing.

  “Why did you want this?” he asked, his nose wrinkled with distaste. “I’m sure the hospital provides nutritionally satisfying meals. I doubt you have to supplement—” He broke off when she glowered at him.

  “I seem to recall you once telling me how much you loved eating the baking Bonnie brought while you and your brothers were recuperating after the accident.” She didn’t bother to mask her irritability.

  “Yes, but that was baking...” Drew gave up when she glared at him. “Never mind. It’s a nice thought. I didn’t bring anything.”

  She choked down her snappy comeback when Ella gleefully pushed open a door and bounded inside the room, squealing hello. When she reached out to Bonnie, Mandy quickly grasped her daughter’s arm.

  “Careful. Auntie Bonnie has hurts, remember,” Mandy chided.

  “I’m sorry.” Ella’s face wrinkled into a sad expression. “Did I hurted you, Auntie Bonnie?”

  “You couldn’t hurt me, darling. Now come and sit beside me and tell me what all is in this lovely fruit basket.” Bonnie smiled and patted Ella’s hand after Drew lifted the little girl onto the edge of the bed.

  “Thank you, dear,” Bonnie told him, raising one hand to cup his chin, eyes glowing. “It’s lovely to see you again. How are you doing?”

  “I’m supposed to ask you that, Ma.” Drew bent and brushed her cheek with his lips, then touched his father on the shoulder. “Hey, Pops. What are you reading?”

  “The book you gave me for Christmas. It’s interesting, once you get past the garbled first chapter.” Ben grinned at him. “I bought some of that stock we talked about and I’ve been following it. It’s gone up by twenty percent.”

  “How do you know that, Benjamin Halston?” Bonnie’s severe look made her husband wince. “You’re supposed to be recuperating.”

  “I recuperate much better when I check my phone and see my stock has gone up.” Ben winked at Drew. “How are you doing with the trekkers?” That’s what he called those he guided on his land.

  “Pretty good, actually. Mandy has everything organized to a T. All I have to do is sit in the saddle and follow Oliver.” Drew had deliberately made his role seem simple. Mandy knew that was because he didn’t want his father worrying.

  “Wasn’t there a group scheduled to ride today?” Ben asked, glancing at his phone where he had the bookings recorded.

  “Rescheduled,” Mandy assured him. “One of them couldn’t make it so the group wants to wait for her.”

  “Good.” Ben leaned back against his pillow and began asking her questions about his herd.

  Mandy answered, aware that Drew’s focus wavered from his conversation with his mother because he was trying to listen in on her conversation, too. When Ben addressed his son, Mandy changed places with him.

  “How’s my garden?” Bonnie whispered. “Did Drew get into it?”

  “You can stop whispering,” he muttered in exasperation. “I tried to help weed but Mandy wouldn’t let me.”

  “Good girl.” Bonnie chuckled at his disgust. “You have other gifts, son. You’re good with numbers.”

  “Pacification,” he said plaintively.

  “Absolutely.” Bonnie giggled. “Have a plum.”

  Mandy had to smile at the repartee between the two. It was nice to see.

  “Blackie died,” Ella suddenly announced sadly. “Drew an’ me an’ Mama made him a nice box and put him in the ground aside Drew’s dog what died.”

  “I’m very sorry, Ella. Blackie was a good friend, wasn’t he?” Bonnie soothed as she wiped away a lone tear on the child’s rosy cheek.

  “Uh-huh.” Ella sniffed.

  “It’s very kind of Drew to let you put Blackie near Rover. If you make Blackie a cross, maybe Mandy will paint it like she paints Rover’s every spring,” Ben suggested with a fond look at the little girl.

  “But I thought Ma—” Drew’s dark gaze rested on Mandy. “Thank you.”

  “No problem.” Moments like this, when his barriers were down, were the most difficult because Mandy could almost let herself believe the old Drew was back.

  But he wasn’t and she couldn’t forget that.

  “Thank you for helping us out, son.” Ben’s bandaged hand touched Drew’s.

  “Drew’s not gonna be my daddy,” Ella announced in the moment of silence.

  Mandy bit her lip, then twisted to meet Drew’s wide-eyed stare as she frantically searched for something appropriate to say.

  “No, I don’t guess he is, honey,” Ben said easily, with an easy smile at the little girl. “So you’ll have to keep talking to God about that, right?”

  “Yeah.” Ella huffed out a gloomy sigh, then asked Bonnie to read a story from the book she’d brought along.

  Mandy gulped and let out her own breath. She needed to have another chat with Ella about daddies. Soon.

  “Now, son, tell me about this new company, Zippers,” Ben murmured.

  Mandy got a lump in her throat watching father and son bond as they discussed the stock market. How could Drew imagine he didn’t belong at Hanging Hearts with this loving couple?

  “Tell me how it’s really going with the trail rides, Drew,” Ben requested a bit later, under cover of Bonnie’s voice as she told Ella a story about a princess and her family.

  “Okay, I think.” Drew sh
rugged. “I’m trying to follow your example. So far everyone seems happy enough. At least I don’t think there have been any complaints.”

  When he glanced at her inquiringly, Mandy shook her head.

  “I’m really sorry to take up your time like this,” Ben said with a frown. “I know how busy you are, son.”

  “I’m always busy. I needed a break and I have to admit, it’s nice to be riding the ranch in the spring.” Drew grinned. “Takes a bit to get used to the openness though.”

  “I suppose,” Ben agreed with a fond smile. “That first hint of green tingeing the valley is what I miss most. I wish I was there instead of here.”

  Mandy noticed him wince slightly as he shifted on the bed. She sent Drew a silent plea, hoping he’d reassure Ben that things were being taken care of.

  “I wish you were there, too, Pops,” Drew agreed.

  Please don’t talk about how you hate the ranch, she begged silently.

  Worry dimmed Ben’s smile. “How come?”

  “Because then I could get a refresher course on some of those routes. You’ve changed several.” Drew shook his head, his face rueful. “I almost messed up a couple of times last week. Thankfully Oliver was there to stop me going the wrong way.”

  Mandy’s senses jerked awake. She hadn’t heard about that.

  “Oliver is one of the good guys. Doesn’t say much.” Ben studied his bandaged hands. “But somehow he’s always there when you need him. He’s the one who doused Bonnie and me. Quick thinker.”

  “Are your hands bothering you? Want me to get a nurse?” Drew shifted as if to leave, but Ben shook his head.

  “No pain. They’re just itchy. That’s what healing burns is like, I guess.” The older man thought a moment, then said, “I want to tell you about that group that’s coming next week. What have you got planned?”

  As they talked, Mandy watched Bonnie and Ella, answered questions from the others and smiled at the appropriate times, but inside her head, her brain kept wondering if Drew had been telling Ben the truth or if he really hated being forced to step in for his father.