The cold seeped into her jacket and still, she remained, impervious to the chill, trying to feel nothing at all.
And she failed.
When things ended with Sebastian over the summer, she’d known it was coming and it was sad, but she was okay with it.
Now… there was nothing okay.
A sob went through her, and it took her a moment to realize there was another presence looming over her. At first, she thought Logan had returned, but as she peered up, she realized it wasn’t him at all.
“I ordered you an Uber,” Luke said with a sigh. “It’ll be here in a few minutes. A red sedan.”
Wylder nodded and wiped her eyes.
Luke looked like he wanted to say something else, but he just shook his head and turned to walk back inside.
“Hey, Luke?”
He stopped walking but didn’t turn.
“I’m glad you’re here for them.” Despite what his quick arrival had cost her, she couldn’t regret that Logan had his brother back. They’d reconcile things between them, and even if they had nothing else, they’d be okay.
Luke threw a look back over his shoulder before leaving her to head back to his brothers.
When the Uber arrived, Wylder climbed into the back, her body not warming, despite the blasting heat. It wasn’t until she arrived back at the dorms she let out another sob.
Fumbling with her keycard, she wiped the tears from her face. Inside the building, she rushed past the guard into the boys’ wing, despite the late hour. He called after her, but she didn’t slow. She couldn’t stand the thought of going to her room alone. There were two people she needed.
Bursting into Killian’s common room, she forced herself not to look at Logan’s closed door as she banged a fist on Killian’s. He didn’t answer. Opening it, she found the room empty.
There was only one other place he’d be.
She ran to Diego’s room, sprinting around the guard. But he wasn’t there. Not even Will was around, though that was a last-ditch effort.
The guard was waiting for her in the boys’ hall when she stepped out again. “Miss Anderson, you can’t be here.”
“It doesn’t matter.” She shook her head. “I’m leaving.”
Tears cascaded down her cheeks as she walked through the quiet halls to her room.
She jammed her key in the door only to find it already unlocked. That wasn’t like Devyn. Pushing open the door, she froze. Her friends crowded into the common room, eating Killian’s Oreos and chatting. It was a sight for crying eyes. Killian and Diego sat curled together on the floor. Devyn lounged on the couch. Will perched on the arm furthest from Devyn.
“You’re here,” Wylder sobbed. Her bleary eyes fell on her roommate. “You’re never awake this late.”
“Luke texted Becks about you and Logan.” Killian stood and crossed the room to pull Wylder into a hug.
Diego looked up at them. “And Becks told Nicky.”
“Nicky messaged Kenny and Asher.” Will shrugged. Kenny was their friend and teammate who graduated the year before and now went to Boston college while dating the President’s son, Asher. Yes, that president.
Killian rested his chin on her head. “And Kenny texted me.”
Wylder couldn’t help but laugh at her friends and their interest in her love life. “What is this? Wylder telephone?”
“Something like that.”
“Well, you all need to get a life. I’m fine.”
“Yes,” Devyn deadpanned. “You obviously look fine.”
Wylder wiped the remaining tears from her face. “Is that really why you’re all here? Because you heard about my epic dumping?”
Killian guided her to the others, and Diego handed her the entire package of Oreos.
Wylder took it, lowering herself to sit beside him. “Killian is sharing his Oreos, I must look really bad.”
Killian wedged her between him and Diego. “We can’t say we agree with you keeping Becks’ and Luke’s secret from Logan, but you’re our Wyld child, and we’ll be here when you’re hurting regardless.”
“Don’t call me—"
“Wyld child,” they all said in unison before laughing.
“We’re reclaiming the nickname from Mr. Cook,” Killian said.
“And from Becks,” Diego added.
“Besides, you were our Wyld Child first.” Killian pulled her in for a side hug.
Wylder grinned, wondering how she got so lucky with these friends. “Definitely from Becks.”
Despite her friends making her feel a thousand times better, Wylder couldn’t sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the betrayal on Logan’s face. She’d done that to him, made him not trust her.
Knowing she caused him pain hurt worse than him breaking up with her. That was how she knew.
What she felt for him was different than what she’d felt for Sebastian, deeper, more real. It hadn’t been merely a fling. And now it was over.
She rolled over, wishing she hadn’t eaten so many Oreos. Her stomach curdled, and she didn’t know if it was from guilt or sugar.
With a sigh, she unplugged her phone and pulled up Becks’ number. It was four in the morning, but he owed her answers, and she wouldn’t sleep without them. Hitting the button for FaceTime, she waited as it rang.
But it wasn’t Becks who answered. Nicky’s sleepy face was barely visible in the dark. “Wylds?”
“Hey, Nick Nick.”
There was a rustling sound, and she heard Nicky say, “Go back to sleep, babe. Your sister needs me right now, not you.”
Despite the fact Wylder called Becks, Nicky was right. He usually was. A light flicked on as Nicky walked into the hallway, showing his rumpled hair and bare shoulders.
“Put on a shirt, dude.”
Nicky lifted one brow. “You call at four in the morning, you don’t get to decide how I’m dressed.”
“I called my brother.”
“You didn’t really expect him to answer so early, did you?” One corner of his lips hooked up. “But you knew I would.” The phone bounced as he descended the stairs and threw himself onto the couch. His expression turned serious. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For everything. Wylds, we never should have kept Luke a secret from you, and you never should have been asked to keep it from Logan. We should’ve known this would all blow up. I just hate that the consequences fell on you.”
Wylder didn’t blame him. The decision not to tell Logan had been hers. “I-I don’t know how to do this, Nicky.”
“Do what?”
“The aftermath of a breakup.”
“I saw you after Sebastian, remember? You handled that one well.”
Wylder sighed. “This is… different.”
Nicky gave her a sad smile. “Always is when you love them.”
“Whoa there.” Wylder reeled back. “Never said the L-word.”
“But I can tell. Even when you guys were here. I’m not saying it’s the forever kind of love, Wylds, or that it’s not. But I’ve known you for a long time, and you’ve never looked at anyone the way you looked at Logan. You came to Nashville for him. Twice. Got involved in his family drama, supported his brother.”
“I—"
“You love him.”
“I can’t, Nicky.” Tears welled in her eyes. “If I do, then I’ve lost so much more than I thought.”
Nicky’s smile fell. “I’m sorry.”
Wylder needed a subject change. She wiped her eyes. “How did all this even happen? Becks and Luke hated each other.”
“After Luke’s brothers went back to school, Luke showed up here. He couldn’t get into his house because of the reporters. I left for class and when I got back, I found the two of them drinking coffee together in the kitchen bonding over you and Logan of all things.”
“Us?”
“Think about it. Becks and Luke care about one thing above all else. Their siblings. And from that, the weirdest bromance in the histor
y of bromances was born. They’re even still at war on Twitter, but now I think it’s just for fun. When Becks suggested Twin Rivers as a hideout, Luke was resistant at first. Then, I think he wanted to see why his brothers loved it so much. I think the idea of living with a normal family got to him.”
“My family isn’t exactly normal.” Wylder laughed.
“No, but your parents are the best, normal or not.”
“They really are.” She’d gotten lucky in that regard. “I can’t fault Luke for wanting to stay there.”
“I know you were asked to keep Luke’s secret, Wylds, but I understand why Logan is upset. I think you need to grovel.”
“I do too. That’s the problem. I wouldn’t forgive me if I was him.” But Logan was so much better than she was.
Nicky sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, me too.”
12
Grovel… Wylder could do that, right?
After Wylder got off the phone with Nicky, she’d crawled out of bed, stuck her feet in her furry slippers, and walked to the boys’ wing. Killian was still awake when she got there, but Logan hadn’t returned yet, so she waited in their common room, falling asleep on the couch.
When she woke the next morning, it was to Killian holding a coffee in front of her face. He still wore his running clothes, so she knew it must have been early.
“Have I been here all night?” Taking the coffee gratefully, she sat up.
“Yeah. I was surprised to see you still out here when I came out. I figured you’d chat with Logan and go back to your room.”
“Logan! Is he back?” Her eyes snapped to his closed door.
Killian’s brow furrowed. “He stopped by after staying at his brother’s place, but I think he already went to grab breakfast.”
And he hadn’t woken her? He’d just walked right on by. She sighed. This wasn’t going to be as easy as she’d hoped. Though, she knew she didn’t deserve easy. “I should go back to my room and shower.”
Killian sat beside her. “What? You’re not going to go ambush him in the dining hall?”
“I don’t ambush.”
A laugh burst out of him. “Okay, Wylds. Whatever you say.”
She elbowed him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re confrontational. You don’t let anyone just wallow. It’s pretty much one of the best things about you.”
“It doesn’t sound like a good thing.” She pouted as she sipped her coffee.
“Sometimes it’s exactly what people need. You don’t take anyone at face value. You see what we need, not what we say we need. It’s like your superpower.”
“Yeah, and what is it Logan needs? Because I only seem to mess things up for him.”
“He says he needs space, right?”
She nodded.
“What does that say to you?”
She leaned back, trying to figure out what Logan hadn’t said. “He… not space… he needs to know he can trust me.”
“Bingo.”
“No one says bingo, you old man.”
He chuckled. “Glad to see you’re still here, Wylder.”
“I really should go shower if I’m going to be presentable at all.” She stood and handed the half-full coffee cup to Killian. “If you see that boy toy of yours, tell him to meet me at my room to walk to class.”
“You know Diego hates being called a boy toy, right?”
“No, he doesn’t.” What Killian obviously didn’t see was Diego secretly took joy in the fact Wylder had tons of nicknames for him. They made him feel accepted when he’d always been on the outside before. Wylder and Killian had changed everything for him.
Back in her room, she took a quick shower and pulled on a ridiculous pair of purple sweatpants with a tail protruding from the butt. They were her unicorn pants. Yanking on a sweatshirt, she realized she didn’t have time to dry her hair. “Crap.” It was going to be cold.
For once, she didn’t bother with colored wax. Slipping her arms into her coat, she pulled on a hat and her boots. She smiled when the door opened and Devyn came in, followed by Diego. “You guys ready?”
“Oh no, it’s the unicorn pants again.” Devyn lifted Wylder’s bag and handed it to her.
“You love these pants.” Wylder made her tail swish.
“Yeah, sure. So, who do you think is going to teach our class today?”
“That awful substitute we had before, probably.” Wylder groaned at the thought. The man hated her.
Diego laughed. “He wasn’t awful.”
“Whatever you say, D.” She locked the door behind her as they filed into the hall.
They’d just come from the dining hall, and she wanted to ask them about Logan, but she couldn’t find the words.
Outside, the world was covered in a fresh blanket of snow. The school had been slowly decorating the buildings with Christmas lights, even wrapping them around light poles. It was normally Wylder’s favorite time of year. As the semester wound down to Winter break, she had two entire weeks of hanging out with her parents to look forward to, two weeks off campus where there were no strict rules, no classmates watching every move she made, no security.
She’d get to see Nicky for Christmas along with a lot of their other friends who’d come into town. Becks wouldn’t be around because he was busy promoting his new Christmas album with a series of special concerts and appearances, but they’d celebrated Christmas in July with him for that very reason.
Yet, now she couldn’t even let that excitement change her mood. Logan broke up with her. He ended their relationship before they’d even really gotten started, and she knew she’d go home only to wallow in that all break.
To feel sorry for herself.
“Stupid cold,” she grumbled as she hugged her arms across the front of her puffy coat. Sure, she loved the holiday season, but that didn’t mean she didn’t wish it was in the summer instead.
Diego and Devyn shared a look. “You okay, Wylds?” Diego’s voice was soft, like he didn’t know if it was his place to ask her.
She offered him a small smile. “I’m okay, D.”
Devyn snorted. “Well, that’s a lie.”
Wylder was about to come back with a retort when her foot hit a patch of ice, and a scream left her mouth as her legs flew out from under her. She hit the ground with what felt like every inch of her erupting in pain. “Stupid winter.” She groaned. “Blasted, dumb, freaking winter.”
A hand appeared in front of her face, and she followed the path from long fingers up over the strong arm she knew so well. Logan’s eyes met hers, no emotion showing in their depths.
Wordlessly, she took his hand, letting him pull her to her feet. He let go as soon as she balanced herself, and she missed his touch immediately.
With a shake of his head, he rushed down the path to the quad.
“Logan,” Wylder said, but her voice wasn’t loud enough, and he didn’t turn.
Devyn let out a low whistle. “That dude just can’t resist a Wylder in distress.”
Her eyes followed him in the distance, wanting him to turn back, to look at her like he used to. Before he found out about her lie, every look he threw her way was curious, like he wanted nothing more than to figure her out. She’d been a puzzle to him, and he’d put the pieces together, revealing more and more of who the real Wylder was until he almost reached the truth.
Devyn slid her arm through Wylder’s. “Have to make sure you don’t fall flat on your face again.”
“You okay?” Diego asked as they continued toward the quad.
Wylder knew Diego only meant to ask about the fall, if she’d been hurt. He was always straightforward that way.
But the truth was, she wasn’t okay, and it had nothing to do with the ache in her back where she’d landed or the embarrassment.
They reached English, and Wylder had fully prepared herself for their awful sub, but it wasn’t him writing notes on the whiteboard. Instead, Ms. Jones herself smiled at Wylder as
she walked in. “Good morning.”
Wylder tried to force a smile. “Hi, Headmistress. Are you teaching us today?”
“Yes, Mr. Carlisle has not been invited back to the academy. We’ve had reports about his attitude toward our students, and that is not how we expect Defiance Academy teachers to act. And as all substitutes require background checks to teach our students, we could not find an available one last minute.”
At the public school, they’d had substitutes all the time, but she guessed the academy had to do things differently to protect their students. Having Ms. Jones was better than that other douche.
Wylder couldn’t take her eyes off Logan as she walked to her seat. He wasn’t in his usual chair behind her. He kept his eyes trained on the desk, refusing to look at her.
Dejected, she slid behind her desk. Wetness seeped through her pants as the snow in her tail melted. Great. Not only did she have an angry Logan refusing to look at her, she felt like she’d peed herself.
Diego gave her an encouraging smile, but she couldn’t return it. If English was bad, contemporary music would be downright torture.
Wylder barely heard anything Ms. Jones said during class. When the bell rang, she gathered her things, stuffing them in her bag, and considered skipping music altogether.
Ms. Jones’ voice stopped her. “Wylder, are you okay?” She stepped up to the side of Wylder’s desk as the students filed out. “Are you worried about Mr. Cook? Because he assures me he’s fine.”
“No.” Wylder stood and pulled her bag over one shoulder. “I know he’ll be back teaching us soon.”
Ms. Jones’ brow furrowed. “Well, whatever is wrong, I’m sure your music class can cure it.”
Fat chance of that. “I’m sure it will.”
“How is your song coming along for the Winter Review? There are only a few weeks left.”
A fact Wylder couldn’t forget. The review was the weekend right after they returned from winter break, but Wylder doubted she even had a partner anymore. “I don’t know if I’m still doing it.”
Wylder and the Rising Rockstar (Reluctant Rockstars Book 3) Page 10
