Wylder gasped at the low blow.
“Hey, Logan, are you back already?” Sebastian stepped into the room. “I thought you’d be gone all afternoon.” He glanced from Logan to Wylder.
“Did you?” Logan turned on his older brother. “I guess you’re in on whatever this is?” He gestured between Wylder and Luke.
“I am Switzerland.” Sebastian folded his arms over his chest. “But I support anything that gets either one of you two playing music again, so I told Luke and Wylder they are more than welcome to practice here any time they want. Though, I’d prefer it if all of you would get your heads out of your rear ends and behave like adults for once in your lives.” Sebastian turned and left them to it.
“Luke! Kitchen, now,” Sebastian called back. “Leave them alone, for crying out loud.”
“Aw, come on, Bash.” Luke dragged himself into the hall. “They’re so entertaining.”
“Luke!” Sebastian’s voice hit that tone only parents seemed to be able to master.
“Fine, I’m coming.” He rolled his eyes and closed the door behind him.
Logan paced across the room and back, running his hand through his hair. “Why are you doing this to me?” He finally looked at her, and she wished he hadn’t. He held such accusation in his eyes.
“And what is it, exactly, that I’m doing to you, Logan?”
“Singing that song. With him?” He pointed toward the door where his brother had just left.
“Are you even serious, right now?” Wylder turned to face him. “It’s just a song, Logan. Are you that jealous of his fame that you’re twisting this into something it’s not?”
“Jealous?” He blinked at her in confusion. “You think I’m jealous?”
“I have no idea what you are. You won’t talk to me.” She threw her drumsticks at him, narrowly missing his head. She was dangerously close to tears now. “But if you think playing with Luke is about anything other than earning the extra credit for ConMus, then you’re a bigger fool than I thought!” She marched toward the door, but Logan grabbed her, pulling her in for a searing, angry kiss.
Wylder melted into him. Grabbing the lapels of his jacket, she returned his kiss, her own anger fueling the kiss as her mind swirled out of control.
Just as suddenly, Logan pulled away, shoving her back.
The angry glower was back on his face as he shook his head and darted out of the room, leaving her alone and angry in a house with far too many Cooks.
17
For the first time in a while, Wylder hadn’t wanted winter break to end. She hadn’t wanted to return to her friends at the academy, to Logan, and have to pretend like she understood anything that was happening.
Yet, here she was, standing in her room with nowhere to go. Normally, she’d head straight for Killian and Diego, needing to see her besties after two weeks away from them. Unlike last year, Killian actually flew home to Texas for break to see his family. Last time, Diego brought them to Ohio as a surprise since they couldn’t afford to bring Killian home.
That was the kind of relationship Wylder wanted, and she hadn’t even realized it until it was in her grasp. Not fun—though she wanted some of that—but something real, something supportive. The buy-your-family-a-plane-ticket kind.
Or in her case, the try-to-save-your-brother’s-career type that she’d let slip out of her fingers. She didn’t know how she was going to get up on stage at the end of the week with the wrong Cook twin at her side. Luke was good, better than good, and his guitar playing was epic, but he wasn’t Logan. He’d make their performance fun, but he wouldn’t need her up on that stage.
Maybe that was what drew her to Logan. The way he looked at her… it was like she was all he needed to feel confident, in control.
Except, he’d been anything but in control when she saw him over break. Running a finger over her lips, she remembered the scorching kiss she hadn’t been able to get out of her mind since it happened. It was more angry than anything else, but then, Logan had always liked her best when they fought.
Screw this. Logan couldn’t keep her away from Killian. Just because they were roommates didn’t mean she’d avoid their room. If Logan didn’t want to see her, tough. Classes would start tomorrow anyway, and he’d be forced to.
Kicking her still-packed duffel out of the way, she walked from her room. Devyn glanced up from her computer. “Five minutes.”
“What?”
“You’ve been back for five minutes, and you’re going to find Killian, aren’t you?”
Wylder nodded.
Devyn lifted one shoulder in a shrug, and her eyes drifted back to the screen in front of her. “I just thought it wouldn’t take you so long.”
Wylder hesitated with her hand on the door. “Do you want to come?”
Devyn laughed. “I’m good. I don’t need to be with you every second of every day. What you and Killian have is kind of weird.”
“Aw, Dev, you say the nicest things.” She bounced over to her and tried to hug her, but Devyn stuck out a hand, holding her off.
“Go hug Killian or Diego if you need to be all touchy feely.”
“Admit it, roomie, you kind of missed me over break.”
Devyn suppressed a smile, but Wylder didn’t miss the twitch of her lips. “You wish.”
Wylder winked before walking out into the hall. The closer she got to Killian and Logan’s suite, the harder it became to breathe. All her mistakes flashed in her mind, things she wished she could take back. She’d never been one for regrets, short memory and all, but with Logan, it seemed that was all she had.
Outside Killian’s door, she hesitated with her hand lifted to knock. Knock? Who was she? Wylder never knocked. Yet, she no longer felt like she could just barge in. Nerves gathered in her stomach, twisting her in knots. Logan might not even have moved back in from his brother’s townhouse yet. That was what she told herself as her knuckles rapped against the door. Logan wouldn’t be there. She’d almost convinced herself of that when Killian opened the door, his brow furrowing.
“Why’d you knock?”
Without answering, Wylder rushed him, barreling into his chest to wrap her arms around him.
“Whoa, Wylds.” He kicked the door shut, and hugged her back. “Are you okay?”
She nodded against him.
He snorted. “Yeah, you seem okay. Come on. I know what you need.” He led her over to the kitchenette and opened a cabinet, reaching on his toes to dig in the back. He pulled a package of Oreos free.
Wylder laughed as she wiped tears from her face. “You get me, Killer. You sure you don’t want to leave Diego and run off with me?”
“Positive. But you could be the third member of our thruple.”
That brought a watery laugh out of her. “That’s okay, I think I’ll just satisfy myself having a relationship with your cookies.” She paused. “And I didn’t mean that as dirty as it sounded.”
“Trust me, I know what you mean when you say my cookies.” He shoved an Oreo between her lips.
Wylder pulled it out before taking a bite. The sugar calmed her.
“I have some time before practice.” He led her to the couch. “How was your break?”
“You’d know if you’d have texted me back more.”
He pointed to himself. “Man of few words.” That was how most people saw the enigmatic goaltender, but Wylder knew different.
“Never with me.” She pouted. “Diego texted me every day.”
“Being that he was in Texas with me, that’s sort of the equivalent of me texting since I was with him.”
“Whatever, Killer.” She leaned her head on his shoulder. “Truth be told, I didn’t much want to talk to myself over break either.”
“That’s good.” He dropped his voice. “Because that would make you even weirder.”
“I’m being serious, you jerk. I spent most of Winter Break with Nicky and his brother, not saying much of anything. It was made worse because Nicky blamed himself for
me lying to Logan and ruining everything.”
“You didn’t ruin everything.”
She sat up and gave him a withering look. “Please don’t patronize me. I made a choice not to tell Logan where Luke was, a conscious choice. It was the wrong one.”
“Wylds—"
“I feel like I keep spinning and spinning my wheels, trying to be better, to do better, but I don’t get anywhere. Nothing improves. I will always be the Wylder Anderson who can only be counted on for trouble. I’m always going to screw things up, aren’t I?”
Killian wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “You don’t screw anything up.”
“Yeah? Tell that to the Cook brothers after I convinced Logan to stand on stage with me instead of off to the side.”
“Still on that? Wylds, no one blames you for the video.”
“I blame me, and that’s enough.”
A sigh rattled through him. “I don’t think you see the same girl I do. You say you screw everything up, but I’ve never known that girl. My best friend is someone else entirely. She’s the reason I was able to fall in love with my boyfriend. Her relentless matchmaking forced me to see what was in front of me.
“And Logan… You only see the girl who forced him onto the stage, but what about the one who chased him to Nashville and convinced his brother he belonged at the academy? What about the girl who helped his other brother escape the media, even getting her family involved? Logan might be mad at you now, he might only see the girl who lied to him, but as soon as his anger clears, he’ll remember the other one.”
“Pretty words, Killian, but he hates me.”
“Weeks ago, I watched you sing with Logan on TV. I watched you stand by his side as he told the world the truth on that talk show. The lie pales in comparison to all the truths between you.”
Wylder hiccupped back a sob. “I think I love him, Killian.” As much as she didn’t want to, tried not to, especially after their epic fight.
A smile spread across Killian’s face.
“Stop smiling. It hurts. This isn’t a smiling kind of love.”
“Can I tell you a secret?”
“Does it beat the secret I just told you?” She arched a brow at him.
He leaned in. “I sort of already knew you loved him.”
“How? When?” She hadn’t even known until everything blew up.
“When you went to Nashville to find him.”
“But we hadn’t even kissed yet.”
Killian shrugged. “Do you really think that matters?”
Wylder buried her face in her hands. “This sucks.”
“It’s not supposed to.”
She didn’t say anything for a long moment before lifting her tear-stained face to Killian. “Killian, he really hates me.”
“I very much doubt that.”
“I don’t think I know how to even have a relationship, let alone be in love. I’m not meant for this. Even if he ever did forgive me, I’d just screw it up again.”
“Wylds, you’re a really good friend, sort of the best. You don’t let just anyone in, but when you do, that person is lucky. I am lucky to be your friend. It’s like your greatest skill. Isn’t this just an extension of that?”
Wylder had never considered herself good at anything other than drums, and playing the drums didn’t add much to the world, didn’t make a difference. She’d never imagined she affected anyone’s life, not really. “You really think I’m a good friend?”
“I don’t know anyone else who goes to the lengths you do just to make your friends happy. We make fun of you, but it’s only because we love you. Me, Diego, Nicky, even Devyn… there’s a reason none of us can seem to resist you. Your circle of friends includes the president’s son, country’s favorite boy toy, two NHL hopefuls, not to mention all three Cook brothers, even the one you punched in the face. There’s a reason we all gravitate toward you.”
“I just thought I was a gay magnet.” Other than the Cook boys and Devyn, all her friends were gay boys she’d used her matchmaking skills on.
A laugh burst out of Killian. “Well, that too.” He kissed the side of her head. “Trust me, Wylds, a relationship isn’t any harder than the best kind of friendship if it’s with the right person. You just make it work. If I, Killian Loner James, can do it, then you can. Honestly, Wylds, I doubt there’s anything you can’t do.”
“Except make Logan forgive me.” Her shoulders slumped. “In a few days, I’m supposed to get on stage with Luke, and I know our performance will kick butt. I know I’ll have fun, but it won’t be right. Singing with Logan in that school project, singing with him at the L.A. Daily show, I’ve never felt more like I was in the right place. Have you ever felt like that? It’s this contentment that you’ve finally found where you fit into this world.”
He smiled. “Every time I step onto the ice.”
“I always feel so out of place, like I don’t belong anywhere or with anyone.”
“Wylds—"
She held up a hand to stop him. “I don’t say that for your pity, just… I don’t want to lose it. How do I fix this, Killian?”
He squeezed her tighter to him. “I don’t think you can. It’s up to Logan. He has to come to you.”
“That’s what I was afraid of.” The creak of a door had Wylder’s gaze jerking up to find Logan standing in the doorway of his room, his eyes boring into her.
She jumped to her feet, wanting to run, wanting to stay. How much of that had he heard?
She took in his messy hair, his rumpled shirt. There were bags under his eyes, but it was the way he looked at her that turned her insides to goo. There was a desperation in his gaze, like she both tore him apart and pieced him back together.
Her cheeks heated in embarrassment as her mind ran through everything he could have heard. Killian was right. It was up to Logan to come to her. Yet, he didn’t move, didn’t say a word.
Wylder’s heart thumped in her chest, threatening to jump out so Logan could stomp on it one final time.
Come near me, she silently begged. Tell me we’ll be okay.
Kiss me and make me believe it.
But he didn’t move. His feet stayed firmly in place.
Killian glanced from Wylder to Logan and back again, sympathy in his gaze.
So, Wylder did the only thing she could. She ran. Out the door, down the hall, not stopping until she reached the safety of her own room. But even after she slammed the door shut, she could still feel his eyes on her, the way his look made the hair on her arms stand on end.
Wylder never imagined falling in love with Logan Cook, and she’d never imagined the first time he’d hear her say it was because he was eavesdropping. But there it was. He knew.
And still, he hadn’t been able to make himself reach out to her.
She flopped onto her bed, coming to a realization that sent a stabbing pain through her.
She had to let him go. This was one hurdle Logan couldn’t jump. It shouldn’t be so hard. They’d only had one real date. Right?
But what if what Killian said was true? What if she’d had these feelings for far longer than she’d realized?
Wylder had always been seen as trouble, but now she knew that was in the eye of the beholder. Because to her, the greatest trouble was a boy with piercing eyes and a heartbreaking voice.
The one who wrote beautiful lyrics and played the keyboard like it was what he was born to do.
A boy who kissed her like she was the air he needed to breathe.
But she was wrong. It was Wylder who was suffocating now.
18
“I still don’t get how this is going to get Logan talking to me again.” Wylder tucked her drumsticks under her arm after their soundcheck. She couldn’t deny it, performing with Luke Cook as her back up was kind of a kick. He was insane on guitar. The crowd was going to go wild for his solo when they realized how much he’d been holding back on them. His label had some stupid notion that country music fans didn’t buy concert ticke
ts to hear a guitarist who could also sing.
They only wanted the voice—Logan’s voice. She wondered how that must have affected Luke’s confidence as a singer and guitarist. He was cocky for sure, but she was beginning to realize he was extremely vulnerable under that thick facade.
“Trust me, I know my brother.” Luke set his guitar on its stand backstage. The Winter Review crew were running around like maniacs, finishing the last minute details for tonight’s show.
“You keep saying that.”
“Logan is loyal to a fault.” Luke turned to face her, arms folded across his chest. “If he feels you’ve betrayed that loyalty, he’s as stubborn as they come, and there’s no getting through to him.”
“And you want me to fix that by performing a song I wrote with him… with you?” It made zero sense.
“Exactly.” Luke clapped her on the back. “It’s all part of my—“
“Evil master plan, yeah, I got it.” Wylder nodded. “Except your plan sounds stupid.”
“Trust me. I know how to show my brother when he’s being an idiot. It happens a lot.” Luke gave her his patented superstar smile. “Just go back to your dorm to put some funky color in your cool hair, and change into your most epic Wylder outfit. I’ll see you on stage in a few hours.”
“Fine, but I hold you responsible for whatever happens when this is over.” Wylder headed toward the backstage exit.
“I’ll be sure to remind you of that when we’re a smashing success on that stage,” Luke called after her.
Wylder turned, walking backward for a moment. “Oh, I have no doubt we’ll kill it in the performance tonight. It’s after I’m concerned about.”
Wylder sorted through her closet, looking for something stage-worthy. She had her own style, that was for sure. It was just a very comfortable style of jeans, t-shirts, hoodies, and the slightly-more-than-occasional ridiculous outfit. She was Becks’ sister, after all.
Her hand hesitated over the rainbow dress she’d worn to last year’s winter formal when she’d gone with Killian and Kenny. She couldn’t pull that look off again. Not at Defiance Academy. She needed something no one had seen her in before.
Wylder and the Rising Rockstar (Reluctant Rockstars Book 3) Page 14
