by Sarah Kinsey
“I-I... yes,” Bessie managed to say. “I was hoping you would ask sooner rather than later...” She managed a faint smile. “Thank you.”
Marc wished her a good day, and told her that he would pick her up at seven as had been the plan.
She then called her father back and told him of the development, as far as being able to stay with Marc. He thought it was wonderful that he was willing to open his small apartment to her, and he again warned her to be careful. She may have been moving into the home on a temporary basis, but her father wanted her to be sure that she was doing it carefully and with all the best intentions. She understood her father’s cautions, and simply told him that she would do her best not to get into trouble. Besides, if she was going to be caring for her mother, there was little chance she could get into trouble.
They had now reached the shopping mall. “I don’t feel right shopping for a date outfit anymore, Marie,” Bessie admitted. “Please... can we just go back to the hotel?”
“I think you need a treat, Bessie,” Marie said. “We don’t have to buy you new clothes. Just, please, don’t drown your sorrows and worries in trying to help Mom. You remember what happened last time you did that, right?”
Her sister had a point. Bessie sighed. “I suppose so... then what do you think we ought to shop for?” Bessie furrowed her eyebrows.
“How about some new pajamas, a blanket, and a small pillow?” Marie suggested. “You may end up spending a night or two at the hospital while you’re in Charleston.”
Bessie nodded. That sounded like a good plan.
Chapter 8
That night, Marc arrived as planned. When she lugged her single suitcase out with a backpack on her back and a plastic bag in her hands, he laughed a little. He took the suitcase and helped her load it all up into the car. Once it was all loaded, he realized what was in the plastic bag.
“You didn’t have to buy a new pillow and blanket, Bess,” he said. “I found some.”
“These are in case I have to stay at the hospital for a night or two,” she explained. “Just... just in case.” She gulped a little lump back. It was hard to admit that her summer had come crashing down in the matter of an hour or two, but she was not sure she could even handle having to worry about a relationship right now. She had agreed to be his girlfriend, but she was worried she was going to be an emotional mess for the rest of the summer. Perhaps even into fall.
“All right,” he said. He didn’t press any further on the issue, and instead, opened the door for her. “Then, after you, my lady. Are you still up for dinner out?”
“Can we get pizza to go?” Bessie frowned. “I just... I’m not...”
“It’s all right,” Marc replied, kissing her forehead softly. “You’re doing the best you can, and that’s all anyone can ask of you, Bess. Come. Let’s go get some dinner, and you can pass out in the car if you need the rest.”
“Thank you,” she whispered. She didn’t know why she was suddenly so worried about what he was going to think of her if the rest of the summer became her focusing on what her mother was doing, and how the treatments were going. If he could not handle her at the worst moments of her life, he didn’t deserve to have her at the best moments of her life.
He shut the door after she got into the car, and she put on her seatbelt. There was no conversation as he pulled away from the hotel she had been staying in. Bessie put her head against the window, not sure what she was going to do after they had arrived in Charleston. The original plan for tonight had been to go to dinner and he would drop her off at the hotel afterwards.
Now, she was going to his apartment, and not just to make macarons.
“Can we make macarons tonight? I’m sure my mother would love to have some,” Bessie eventually said.
“I made some macarons after your call,” Marc said. “You seemed to enjoy them so much last time we made them that I thought you would enjoy having some when we got back to my apartment. I even made the filling properly.”
“Thank you, Marc,” she said, a soft smile on her face. “Would you be willing to come with me to the hospital tomorrow?”
“Yes,” he answered immediately. “Here. Let’s get dinner here.” He had pulled into a small parking lot. It was not a pizza place; instead, it was a small burger place. “I know it’s not pizza, but I think you need something more substantial than pizza. Get some food in your belly, get some rest, and let me handle the transportation tonight.” He took her hand gently.
“Thank you.” She squeezed his hand.
He squeezed back. “There we go. There’s the smile.” He smiled back. “Do you want to go in and have dinner properly as we had planned to, or do you just want to get it to go and get to Charleston immediately?”
“I want to get to Charleston immediately,” she replied. “Please. My mother...”
“Bessie, it is well past visiting hours,” he pointed out, now letting her see his watch. “That hospital probably only lets people in to see family until seven unless they’re the parents.” He hugged her. “I know it’s hard for you to understand that, but you need to know that. You’re not going to be able to be there as much as you would like to be for her.”
Bessie hugged back tightly and then she nodded into his shoulder.
“All right. Let’s have a proper dinner.” She took in a deep breath. “Perhaps that is what I need.” She wasn’t sure what else to do.
“If you feel overwhelmed, we can get it to go,” Marc offered. “But I appreciate that you’re willing to try. I’ve been home all day, and I apologize if it feels like I’m forcing you to have dinner out.” He pulled away. “I think some time out of the house for both of us will do some good.”
“I agree. I just... I’m still spinning around everything that has happened.” She took in a deep breath. “Let’s go get some dinner.”
“Let’s,” he said.
They walked to the restaurant from the car, and Marc kept an arm around her the entire time. She appreciated this, but she was worried about what would be coming. He had not signed up to be her emotional support when they started dating at the beginning of the summer, and that was probably what he was going to have to supply as the summer continued.
They ordered their food, even though the restaurant was deserted. It was only seven at night; the sign at the front said they didn’t close until nine at night. Bessie was grateful that the restaurant was so quiet. It gave her a chance to think about what she was doing, and how she felt about it. In all honesty, she was rather numb to all of the things that had happened that day. Yes, she had new pajamas to snuggle into. Yes, she had a new blanket. She had a boyfriend. But behind all of that, she had a nagging feeling that she was going to lose her mother by the end of the year.
The rest of the summer was a struggle for Bessie, and she could tell that it was a struggle for Marc, too. He had gotten a job at one of the small tourist shops to pay his bills. Bessie had no job, but her father paid for her part of the groceries and for some of the rent for the two months she was there.
Marc said it was too much for him to expect her to help with the bills, but her father had insisted. It was the least he could do for offering to take her in and give her a place to stay while her mother was in the hospital.
It didn’t end up mattering that she stayed with Marc, as the rest of her family came down from Myrtle Beach after her mother lapsed into a coma. It was not a long-lived coma, thankfully, and her mother woke up from it, but that was the last medical scare that her father was willing to leave her alone for.
Her family changed to stay in a hotel in Charleston, and Bessie continued to stay with Marc. It helped to have a place where she come in and she was no longer expected to stay strong. Marc would often encourage her to let it all out when she was struggling with it all. But, summer came to an end, and Marc saw her off at the Charleston airport.
“We will get through it, Bess,” he told her as he helped her get her suitcase out of his truck. “And I will keep
everything you’ve left with me safe. I promise.”
“Thank you, Marc,” she said as she gave him a tight, lingering hug. “Thank you.”
She pulled away after a moment.
“Text me if you need anything. Tell me what you think of France,” he said with a smile. “Send me many pictures. I have been homesick for a while now...”
“I will, Marc.” She smiled. “And, don’t be a stranger. I may not text, but you have my social media.”
“Yes, yes, I do.” He smiled. “Now, you should go so you don’t miss your flight back to Utah. Text me when you’ve landed safely, all right?”
“I will.” She gave him another hug.
He pulled away first this time, and then he kissed her. They had had their share of cheek and forehead kisses, but this was neither. This was a kiss. A real one.
Bessie pressed her lips against his softly, wishing their first kiss didn’t have to be at the airport as she was getting ready to return to Utah for class. Thankfully, her study abroad was not for another couple of weeks and she had time to prepare for it all. She pulled away.
“I’ll text you when I land.” She squeezed his hand.
He watched as she walked into the airport, and then, Bessie was on her own. Marie, Jessica, and Naomi were going to fly to Salt Lake in a couple of weeks, but because Bessie had other things she had to prepare for, she was going first. And she would be getting the car from the airport.
As she went through security and to the gate, she realized that this was the first time she had flown by herself. Ever. It was probably a good thing it wasn’t her trip overseas; that would have been harder to have as her first flight without her parents. That’s what happened when she decided to attend a school within a reasonable driving distance from her home.
Her flight was uneventful, but her thoughts went to the study abroad. Her mother’s condition had deteriorated so much since she had been on the east coast. The doctors were not hopeful she’d ever be well enough again to travel by airplane. The best they could hope for was being able to make it as a car trip. If that was the case, then they were going to have Marie drive back to the east coast and her father stay with her mother.
After some time on the flight, she had fallen asleep, which she was thankful for. It gave her mind a rest from the thoughts that made her weary. Regardless, when she landed in Salt Lake, she was the worse for wear. She walked to baggage claim quietly, trying not to let the tears in her eyes flow. She was worried that her mother would pass away before her study abroad. One of the nurses had let her know that it was entirely possible her mother would never leave the hospital, and that was the most comforting thing she could have thought of to say at that point. It had not helped Bessie.
She texted Marc that she had arrived at the airport and that she would text him when she got home. She then texted Sarah to let her know that she was at the airport and would appreciate company at home; would she like to stay two weeks?
Sarah was down for that plan. Once Bessie had her suitcase and the car, she drove back to campus, to Sarah’s apartment. When she arrived, she found her best friend ready with a large suitcase. Sarah wasted no time in offering to drive the two hours to Castle Dale. Bessie appreciated this, but she decided to drive. It helped her calm down to have Sarah with her, and by the time they reached the house, Bessie knew that her mind was just trying to get ahead of itself. Her mom would be fine while she was in Europe. The rest of the family was with her, and they all had Bessie on speed dial should they need her.
Chapter 9
Classwork made the week feel slow. Sarah was not in any classes for the fall that started early, so she was able to do some of the chores that Bessie neglected. It was only a week after Bessie arrived home that she got the phone call she had been dreading. Marie called her, in tears, to tell her that their mother had indeed passed away. They wanted her to go on the study abroad, even though it would mean that she would miss the funeral.
Bessie would not hear of it. She contacted financial aid and told them of the situation. They refunded all her money that she put into the study abroad, a gift from her maternal grandmother. Instead, she used that money to get the next ticket to Charleston. She was going back.
“Bessie, you can’t throw this chance away,” Sarah said. “Please. You have to understand that they’re excited for you, even in this time of sadness.”
“I know, but I don’t feel right about it, Sarah,” Bessie replied. “This is my mother’s funeral they’re planning... I can’t go to Europe now. I can’t.”
She contemplated dropping out of school entirely, but she decided to put in a deferment for one semester to see how she felt after all of the funeral business was done. Sarah thought it was foolish of her, but she supported the decision in every way she could.
Sarah ended up driving her back to the airport, and Sarah took the car to campus. She would keep it safe and it would be free storage. Her father was all right with this. Marc called her as she was waiting for the flight to board.
“Hi, Marc,” Bessie answered, not sure how she was going to tell him what was going on. “How are you?” She decided not to say anything to start, and that was totally fine with her. If he was listening to her voice, he could probably see what was going on.
“What’s wrong, Bessie?” It took Marc literally no time to see that something was wrong. “What’s going on?”
So, Bessie told him everything. She told him about dropping the semester abroad, the deferment, the need to come back to Charleston.
He didn’t hesitate to offer to pick her up from the airport. She appreciated this, but her father was already going to be there. They could not pay for another hotel room, though. Marc didn’t mind letting her crash at his apartment again, and he would be home all day. His classes didn’t start until next week, and he would be willing to take her in for as long as she needed to be in Charleston.
Her flight went well enough. Though Bessie spent the entire time worried and trying not to fall apart, it wasn’t until she arrived at the Charleston airport that she realized Marc had come anyway. Her father was there, too, and they had started talking.
Marc just wrapped his arms around Bessie when she arrived, and she hid in his shoulder. Her father found her bag, and they all walked out to the parking lot together. Bessie held Marc’s hand, but opted to go with her father to see her sisters before going to Marc’s place.
Marc took her suitcase to the apartment and said to call when she was ready to go back to the apartment. She would be in the guest bedroom again; he had never converted it into his office as he had once thought he might. He liked the idea of having a guest bedroom where Bessie could stay should she need it, and so the guest bedroom had stayed.
Her father told her about how much he approved of Marc in the car, but Bessie barely listened. She still felt as though she were only living a dream, that everything was going to be all right when she woke up. That her mother would be alive, that she was going to Europe.
They arrived at the hotel, and Marie simply wrapped Bessie in a hug. Jessica and Naomi were out and about, trying to enjoy themselves. Their mother’s last wish had been that they would all be able to enjoy themselves, regardless of what happened next, Marie had said. Her mother had not wanted Bessie to cancel her study abroad just because of her, but she knew that it would most likely happen, she had continued. Bessie only nodded numbly.
She called Marc a few hours later, and when she was back at the apartment, she sat down on the couch with a heavy flop. Marc walked into his little kitchenette to make food, and Bessie picked up one of the little pillows he had placed on the couch. She buried her head in it. The tears she had been holding back finally came free, and she sobbed into the pillow. At some point, Marc came over and just pulled her into a hug. His arms enveloped her with a sense of warmth that only made her tears come harder, faster. He rubbed her back, saying nothing to her but telling her it was all right to cry.
He ordered pizza for dinner inste
ad of trying to make food. She apologized for distracting him, but he refused to let her feel like it was her fault that he was ordering pizza. He had planned on doing so anyway; the prep he had been doing was for tomorrow’s dinner.
“Do you want to snuggle and watch a movie?” Marc broke the silence that had wrapped around them. “I know it won’t help much, but... it might be enough to help you sleep a little easier tonight.” He kissed her forehead softly.
She only nodded. The snuggles sounded like the thing she needed today, and she was not going to apologize for that. He had made it clear that he was going to be there for her, regardless of what happened. He had openly said it before, but by telling her that he would open his apartment to her again, by telling her that he hadn’t been planning to make anything super fancy for dinner tonight and refusing to let her pay for the pizza, he was telling her that he more than cared for her.
Bessie pushed those thoughts away. She couldn’t be falling in love with a man she had only met over the summer. Not while everything else was crashing down around her... could she?
He held her on his chest while they watched the movie. She fell asleep there in his arms, one hand holding his and the other stretched down over the edge of the couch. Her ear lay on his chest, right over his heart, and the soothing thump-thump lulled her into a sweet sleep. It had been too long since she had been able to sleep properly, and that night was the first of many that allowed her to actually get some sleep.
Planning the funeral was rough, and Bessie was thankful that Marc was at the apartment as often as he could be. He still worked in one of the little tourist shops, but had most evenings off. As her tears came out gradually with her worries, her fears, the late nights staying awake and crying into his chest slowly turned into something more. He would give her long, lingering hugs when he came home from work every night.
They started watching movies every night. He would pull her softly down onto his chest and wrap his arms around her. He would stroke her hair, and slowly but surely, she would fall asleep. She woke up every morning to find that he had fallen asleep under her, his hand mid-stroke on her hair. She stayed in his arms until he woke up. The sense of routine helped.
