by Kendall Ryan
Hog’s Head was packed with students and locals, all eager to win the costume contest. The bar had been decorated with cobwebs and fake spiders and they were serving a specialty Halloween drink that was called “monster’s blood.” Kody surveyed the room, assessing everyone’s chances of winning the contest.
“Okay, I think our biggest challenger is them,” he said, pointing to a group of friends dressed as Kiss.
“Damn, they look really convincing,” Jodee said, standing on her tiptoes to get a better look.
“I still think we can win,” Kody said confidently.
We pushed our way through the crowd, trying to get to the bar. I had to duck to dodge someone’s plastic scythe from poking me in the eye, and when I stood back up and caught sight of the bar my heart stopped.
Zach.
He was standing at the bar talking to someone, but I couldn’t see who through the crowd. Of course, he hadn’t dressed up and he looked effortlessly sexy as always in black jeans and a gray t-shirt. I thought about walking out right then. Away from him, away from this crazy attraction that made me feel dizzy. But I didn’t. I snuck another look at him instead.
Even now, the sight of him sent my heart fluttering and brought me back to that kiss at his house. I’d had quick flashes of it ever since that night, which seemed to be totally out of my control. Just the thought of it was enough to get my heart pounding in my chest. I’d been so turned on that that night, walking away had been almost impossible. But it had been the right thing. Right?
That’s what I kept telling myself. But the memory of Zach’s lips on my neck, his hands anchoring my waist to his lap, where I writhed and rocked until I almost came—fully clothed—on top of him. And then after when he’d quoted Shakespeare and asked if he could fuck me with his fingers.
Shit. I shook my head.
Maybe I should say something, go and clear the air. How could he stay upset with me when I was wearing a baby costume?
I had started to fight my way over to him when the crowd parted for a second and I saw who it was he was talking to.
Oh, hell no.
He was with a woman. She was tall, and blonde and dressed in a black leotard that said Barbie, pink tights, black knee-high socks and pink accessories. I rolled my eyes. Seriously?
I was frozen to the spot, until Zach’s date whispered something in his ear and headed toward the ladies’ room. My stomach knotted and I had to remind myself to breathe. The noise of the crowd had gone silent, everything fading away into the background. Without thinking, I pushed my way through the crowd and walked right up to him. Even in my state I couldn’t help but compare this moment to the night we met, me walking up to Zach in the middle of a crowded room, except this time I was pissed off.
“So, you’re fucking Barbie now?”
Zach turned to me, startled, and looked me up and down, taking in my baby costume. He smirked.
“Her name’s Stacey. And no, I haven’t fucked her.” He paused, his green eyes drilling into mine, making my heartbeat speed up a few paces. “I haven’t even kissed her, actually.”
I crossed my arms. “So, what, you’re on a date?”
He sighed, exasperated. “You told me to move on, that we couldn’t be together. What was I supposed to do? Wait for you? You were very clear, Poppy. It doesn’t matter how much I want you, if you don’t want me back …”
Tears sprung into my eyes and I swallowed hard to keep them from falling. I took a deep breath, releasing whatever adrenaline had caused me to confront Zach in the first place.
“You’re right.” My voice cracked and I wasn’t quite able to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
His brows knitted in frustration and Zach shook his head. “I am too.”
I turned and pushed my way through the crowd, not waiting to hear if Zach had anything else to say. What else was there to say? It was selfish of me to reject him and then be mad that he was trying to move on. I just hadn’t expected him to move on so quickly. Who was I kidding, Jason moved on in less time than it took me to down a sushi roll, so why was I expecting anything different from Zach.
I found Kody and Jodee at the other end of the bar. Without saying anything to them, I signaled the bartender.
“Three tequila shots,” I shouted over the noise. Kody and Jodee gave each other a look.
“What’s up? You look like you’re about to cry,” Jodee said, concern in her voice.
I pointed in the direction of Zach and Stacey, who had returned from the bathroom and was batting her eyelashes at Zach and giving him pouty looks. Kody and Jodee both gasped.
“Who is that? Is he on a date?”
I nodded miserably.
“But he’s right, I’m the one who said I didn’t want anything to happen,” I said, voice still quavering.
Jodee hugged me. “I’m sorry, Poppy.”
“She’s not even cute,” Kody said, leaning over to get a better view.
I forced a smile. “Thanks, guys, but it’s okay, let’s just have fun tonight.” I didn’t want to be a downer and ruin the night, especially after seeing how excited Kody was about the costume contest. I also didn’t want Zach to see my friends staring him and his date down from across the bar.
They were still giving me concerned looks, so I held up my tequila shot.
Paraphrasing F. Scott Fitzgerald, I toasted to each of my friends, “Too much of anything is bad, but too much tequila is just right. Drink up, my friends.”
They didn’t look convinced, but they went along with my toast. After downing the shots, I ordered a cup of ‘monster’s blood’, which sounded gross but was actually fruit punch and vodka. I was feeling slightly less miserable once the alcohol kicked in, but I still couldn’t stop myself from sneaking glances at Zach and Stacey, who were laughing and flirting at the bar. Of course she was having a good time. Zach was sweet, funny, sexy, a total catch. A total catch that I’d rejected. Seriously, stop moping, I told myself.
Everything that had happened had been my choice, and I needed to accept it. There was no way I could keep up with school and raising Connor if I lost myself in Zach. Not to mention the complications with him being my adviser. It was just that being around Zach—and the copious amounts of alcohol I was consuming tonight—made it incredibly difficult to remember what about this situation was so wrong. I sighed and turned to find my friends when I walked straight into Chad, a tall, blond poet in my workshop, dressed as the Joker from Batman.
“Hey, Poppy,” he said, looking me up and down. “You’re a…”
“A baby,” I said, shrugging. I’d accepted that my outfit made me the least sexy person at the bar and was glad I could at least be comfortable.
He laughed. “I get it, it’s cute. So how are you liking the program so far?”
“Everything is going great,” I lied.
We continued to talk about school and discuss the latest poems we’d been writing.
“Can I buy you a drink?” he asked at a break in the conversation.
I hesitated. Chad and I were friendly, but I’d always gotten the feeling he had a crush on me, and I didn’t want to lead him on. I glanced over at Zach, who was cracking up about something Stacey had just said.
Fuck it.
“Sure,” I said, turning back to Chad with a smile. “That sounds great.”
After taking yet another tequila shot with Chad, we continued to talk about school. I tried to focus on the conversation but couldn’t stop my mind from wandering. I couldn’t see Zach anymore and wondered what he and bitchy Barbie were up to. After a few more minutes of trying and failing to pay attention to Chad, I told him I needed to find my friends. I just wasn’t interested in him, and it was becoming painfully obvious.
“Can we go?” I asked after I’d found Kody and Jodee by the DJ. I stumbled a bit as I walked up to them.
“Whoa, how much have you drunk?” Jodee asked.
“I’m fine,” I said, waving h
er off. “But seriously, can we leave?”
“Five more minutes, please,” Kody begged. “They’re about to announce the winners of the group contest and I’m pretty sure we have a shot.”
I sighed, resigning myself to a night of torture, when a man dressed as Frankenstein walked onstage.
“Alright, folks, it’s time to select the winners of the contest. All groups to the stage first.”
Kody grabbed my arm and towed me up the steps to the stage.
Jodee followed and the three of us stood in the center of the stage, flanked by a group of guys dressed as a hockey team, and a group of girls dressed up as Playboy bunnies.
As much as it pained me, my eyes found Zach. He had stopped talking to Barbie and stood there staring at me. I felt his gaze like it was licks of fire and I was ablaze.
After making a big show of opening the envelope, Frankenstein grinned and shouted out four names I didn’t recognize. The Kiss group stepped forward, high fiving the crowd. As they accept their prize of movie passes and certificates for free pizza, I headed down off the stage and toward the exit, my friends trailing after me. It looked like the only thing I was going to win that night was a massive hangover.
Chapter Fifteen
Zach
Last night was brutal.
I'd only agreed to go out with Brandon's single co-worker Stacey in a moment of weakness. She'd recently moved here, and Brandon gave me some speech about the difficulties of being new in a small town. She was nice enough, but then we'd run into Poppy, dressed adorably in a baby costume, and I was certain Stacey knew in that instant that I wasn't as single as I claimed to be. Because despite not actually being with Poppy, she owned me. Whether I wanted her to or not. She had cast a spell over me that refused to let go.
God, and her displeasure at seeing me with another woman? It was palpable.
I wanted to drop to my knees and pledge my allegiance to her, and I would have if I thought it would do any good.
But today, all I felt was sad. I felt bad for Poppy. Clearly, she had been as miserable as I was last night. I was just better at hiding it, but her emotions were as clear as day. She wanted me just as badly as I wanted her. And I didn’t just want her for a quick fuck, but as a person in my life, someone to spend time with laughing, writing, doing mundane things like grocery shopping.
If I couldn’t be with her, I at least wanted to continue our tortuous dance as friends. Grabbing my phone, I texted her to see how she was doing this morning.
Hey champ. How are you feeling this morning?
By the time I was out of the shower and dressed, I saw that she’d replied.
So awful. Bring me Tylenol? I promise I’ll bake you so many chocolate chip cookies. So many. Please.
I chuckled at her text, but then a wave of regret flashed through me and I felt even shittier because I realized that she was hungover because of me. If I hadn’t brought a date and dangled another woman in her face, she wouldn’t have over-indulged last night.
Of course I will. Just tell me your address.
A few seconds ticked by before she replied.
You really don’t have to do that. My fault for drinking too much.
I shook my head. I’m coming. Don’t make me break into the student files to find out where you live.
Her reply was immediate. You wouldn’t dare.
Try me.
After Poppy caved and texted me her address, I grabbed my keys and wallet and was out the door and headed for the drug store a few minutes later.
It wasn’t the promise of chocolate chip cookies that had me rushing to her, it was the opportunity to see Poppy with her guard down that had me all kinds of lit up. I wondered if seeing me with another woman had prompted Poppy’s sudden new openness to seeing me. Or maybe she just needed pain killers that badly. I guess I’d find out.
When I arrived at her place, I parked on the street in front of the Victorian home that had been sectioned into two halves as most of the old homes on this street had been. They’d been sliced and diced into duplexes and apartments for students and as I walked up the front steps to the large home, I realized suddenly that Poppy had never mentioned a roommate, yet this place seemed too large for one.
My gaze lingered on the red boy’s bike on the front porch as Poppy pulled open the front door.
“Hey,” I started but Poppy thrust out a hand, motioning in a gimme gesture for the bag I was holding.
“Come in. And thank you. You’re a lifesaver.”
I followed her inside. She headed straight for the kitchen and pulled a bottle of water from the fridge before popping open the bottle of pain reliever and swallowing a couple of the pills.
“I have a massive headache, and I need to adult today. Thank you again.”
My gaze wandered around her home, taking in the toys strewn on the living room floor, the framed photos of her with a little boy.
He looked so much like her. The wavy hair streaked with sunlight. The bright curious eyes. The delicate cheekbones and full mouth.
My heart hammered wildly. “Poppy?”
She drew a deep breath. “I have something I need to tell you.”
I nodded, and followed as she led me over to the couch. We sat down together, and I sensed that everything I thought I knew, everything between us was about to change.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t say anything before. That’s Connor,” she said simply, nodding toward the framed photo that hung on the wall.
“He’s a handsome kid.”
At that, she smiled and reached over and touched my hand.
“I’m sorry I kept him a secret. I never meant to. But I... I liked the way I felt around you—like a woman, and not just a mom. A regular student. I didn’t mean to hide that side of myself, but I …”
I shook my head, stopping her. “It’s okay. There are things I never told you either.” I thought about my last relationship, which had ended in a fucking mess, and my parents’ own divorce that had colored every relationship I’d had since. “Let’s just start over, okay?”
She drew another deep breath, and nodded. “Okay.”
“How old is he?” I asked.
“Seven.”
“So you had him … ”
She nodded. “At the very end of high school.”
Wow. All the respect and admiration I had for this woman was suddenly amplified ten-fold. All she must have been through, all the sacrifices she must have made.
“And you have full custody?”
She nodded again. “My high school boyfriend cut out before Connor was even born. I’ve been doing this on my own ever since.”
“But you dated, you were recently single that night we met at the party.”
She tucked her hair behind her ear and shifted. “I’ve dated, but not much. Most guys aren’t okay with this side of my life, and even if they say they are, over time, it just becomes too much.”
“I see.” I couldn’t help but wonder if my age, my maturity, the fact that I owned a home and had a stable career was a draw for her. Or maybe that was only wishful thinking. Still I wondered, did she crave that stability for her son? Had she only dated guys her age? I was almost thirty—and knew babies and kids were a part of my not-so-distant future. At least I’d hoped they were. But then I realized I’d acted so nonchalant about everything, telling her I was attracted to her, but never admitting I wanted something real. Poppy knew I wanted to fuck her and bring her pleasure, but did she know I wanted more too?
Footsteps on the other side of the door made us pause and look up.
“My mom’s dropping Connor off,” Poppy said rising to her feet.
I rose to stand beside her. “Is this a bad time, should I go?”
She shook her head.
And then there he was—the little boy who looked so much like the woman I’d fallen for. Dark hair and inquisitive, honey-colored eyes. When Connor spotted me in their living room, he stopp
ed and frowned, staring at me as he remained rooted in place.
“Connor, this is my friend Zach. He works at the university,” Poppy said.
Connor’s frown eased. “Okay.”
“Hello,” I offered. “You ready for Halloween tomorrow?”
Connor frowned again. “I guess so.”
“Come here, bud,” Poppy encouraged. “Tell me about Grandma’s. Did you have fun?”
He nodded as he approached, but he still looked bothered by something. I just prayed that it wasn’t by my presence. I had enough strikes against me with his gorgeous mother.
Connor walked into his mom’s embrace. She gave him a squeeze and placed a kiss on his forehead. “Tell me, lovey,” she whispered.
My heart squeezed a little at the sight of him—this was all just so unexpected.
“My tooth is loose, and Sullivan said that his dad left him four dollars when he lost a tooth. It was under the pillow. I don’t have a dad, how am I going to get the money for my tooth?”
Poppy sighed, and pushed a hand through her hair. Her mouth opened, then closed, and I placed my hand on her shoulder.
“I might be able to help you out there, buddy,” I said, bending down so I was closer to Connor’s height.
The little guy’s eyes widened as he listened to me speak. The kid was freaking adorable. I loved the way his eyelashes resting on his cheeks reminded me of the way Poppy’s did when she looked down, lost deep in thought. And I couldn’t help but notice that Poppy watched in awe as I spoke to him, explaining that I grew up without my dad too.
“I know it sucks sometimes. But your mom works extra hard to make sure you have what you need. And I bet that she will be the one to leave the money under your pillow when you do lose your tooth.”
