by Kendall Ryan
The way she stood on my front porch, expression open, hands relaxed at her sides, it gave nothing away. But then, she was here, wasn’t she? It had to mean something.
“Come inside.”
I took a step back and Poppy followed me in.
“You didn’t have to do that,” she said, turning to face me once we were inside my living room, her eyes blazing with that steely determination I loved. The energy crackling between us was something I’d become addicted to.
“Do what?”
“Fix my car.”
I nodded. “I’m well aware of that. I wanted to, Poppy. I know you would have figured it out, but I didn’t want you to have to do that for once.”
She bit the inside of her cheek, thinking over what she wanted to say next. “So … you and Stacey … how’s that whole thing going?”
She looked down at her boots and it took me a second to realize who she was talking about. The girl she saw me with at the bar.
I shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t talked to her since Halloween. There’s someone else I’m hung up on.”
Poppy’s eyes lifted to mine and her lips parted.
God, she was beautiful. Without any makeup, without all the fluff and frill society said women needed to be glamourous. Poppy just was. Full lips that trembled when she got nervous and eyebrows that would pinch together defiantly if she didn’t like something I had to say.
“Oh?” she asked, that pretty mouth forming the word while her lip-gloss distracted me for what felt like the thousandth time.
Everything about this moment felt serendipitous, like we’d been building to this exact moment ever since we’d met at that party—a party we never should have been at—something so out of character for us both.
“Yeah.” I stalked forward. I had no words. None. Zero. I stopped when I was inches from her, and staring down into those deliciously expressive eyes.
Poppy, of all people, deserved all the pretty words, all the whispered sweet phrases that ran through my brain at all hours, that I’d scrawled on scraps of paper and napkins, that I’d stuck inside of her bag. But the time for words was done. Lifting her chin with two fingers, I rubbed my thumb along those full, tempting lips. “If you tell me to stop, you better fucking mean it this time.”
Poppy sucked in a sharp inhale, her eyes briefly falling closed before they blazed on mine once again. “First, I need to know your intentions.”
I could have laughed. Could have fallen over right there in my living room. But I did neither of those things. My intentions. Was that what this was about? Was that why she stayed away? My intentions certainly weren’t to fuck her and move on, I knew that much.
Apparently I needed to do a much better job at communicating with her, needed to lay out for Poppy exactly how I felt, exactly what I wanted.
But fuck, what did I want?
Did being with Poppy mean New York was off the table?
And how did I feel about that? Was I really okay with staying in this sleepy little town, advising students to live their dreams while I was too scared to live mine myself?
I took a deep, steadying breath. I wasn’t sure I’d figure all of that out in the next few minutes, but I wasn’t about to miss my shot with Poppy.
“I know you’re incredible. I know you inspire me.” I ran my thumb along her lower lip again. “I know I want you.”
Her gaze darkened, and she looked as drunk with lust as I felt. “But what about after that, I’m not a one-night kind of girl, Zach…”
“I know that, Poppy. I’ve always known that. I want a shot with you. I always have.”
She didn’t say anything else. But she didn’t have to. She lifted up on her toes, trying to close the height-difference between us and as adorable as her attempts were, I was done waiting. Placing my hands on her waist, I lifted Poppy from the floor, hauling her up to my chest. Our mouths crashed together as her legs crossed around my hips, and my hands moved to her ass. I held her there, held her against me, cherishing the weight of her, the feel of her soft breasts pressed against my chest, the sensation of her tongue moving with mine, the tiny whimpers she made when I thrust up experimentally to show her what she’d done to me.
“Zach.” Poppy’s mouth broke from mine, breathless and damp.
“Yes, beautiful, tell me what you want.”
Her eyes were wild with want, her lips puffy and swollen from my kisses. For a moment, I thought she was going to demand I let her down, put an end to everything. But then she breathed a single word that ignited sparks inside my veins.
“You.”
Rocking her up and down against my hard length, my mouth attacked hers again. Still carrying her, I headed for my bedroom. Not bothering to break our kiss to look where I was going, I bumped us into the wall in the hallway and Poppy giggled against my mouth.
“Slow down, big guy. We’ve got all night.”
I pulled back and met her eyes. “We do? But what about …”
Her smile was immediate. “Well, not all night, but Connor’s at my parents’ house for dinner. So we have a few hours at least.”
Once inside my bedroom I set Poppy down, lowering her feet to the floor. I was happy that the scent of paint had mostly dissipated, and that I’d put everything back the way it was supposed to be. Poppy’s eyes wandered around the room, before coming to rest on me once again. She took a deep breath, and then her fingers went to my belt, tugging, demanding.
Looking down, I watched her slender fingers unlatch my belt and unsnap the button. Then she was pushing her hands inside my jeans.
“Fuck,” I growled, pushing my fingers into my hair, and resting my hands on top of my head.
“Where are your underpants, Mr. Austin?” She made a low sound of disapproval under her breath. But then she drew out my cock, now fully hard, and sucked in a sharp inhale, the noise of surprise dying in her throat. “Shit. Zach.”
A slow smile uncurled on my lips. “Yes, Poppy?”
“Your dick is like really fucking big.”
I ran one finger slowly down her cheek and pride and heat dueled inside my chest. “Hmm. A smart girl like you, an English lit major no less, surely you can think of a better adjective than big?”
I was enjoying this way too much. But my dick hadn’t been touched by anyone other than me in a long time, and this wasn’t just anyone—this was Poppy, who I’d fantasized about nonstop for weeks on end. And now she was here, in my bedroom, curling her delicate fist around my wide shaft and giving it an experimental tug. Pleasure burst through every cell in my body.
“It’s … God. It’s so hot, Zach. I want you.”
Without another word, Poppy dropped to her knees on the wood floors I’d so painstakingly refinished all the while trying not to think about her. In the next breath, she brought those sexy pink-glossed lips to the head of my cock. Her tongue licked languidly across my wide tip and down the side of my shaft. I thought I might explode then and there.
“Is this okay?” She peered up at me through her eyelashes, teasing.
“Yes, yes. Please.” I cupped her cheek and Poppy opened wider, the head of my cock disappearing inside the warm, wet heat of her mouth.
“Fuck that feels good,” I groaned.
While Poppy worked me over, both with her mouth and her hands, I focused on trying not to come down her pretty little throat.
My own personal temptress, the fire of my loins.
“So good, so good, sweetheart.”
Poppy made a noise of want in her throat, swallowing me farther.
Every wicked and depraved fantasy I'd dared not to harbor came bursting to brilliant life.
Knowing that I was only moments away from losing control, I pulled Poppy from my cock, and hauled her to her feet. Kissing her swollen lips, I worked on stripping her of every last article of clothing until she stood naked before me.
Flushed pale skin, shapely hips, full tits with pretty blush
-colored nipples. She was beautiful and I told her so.
Blushing, she crawled onto my bed and waited while I pushed down my jeans and stripped off my t-shirt.
When I laid on top of her, I finally understood what those ancient poets had meant about hearing doves cry, and angels sing and all that shit—because fuck. The heat of her silky, naked skin pressed up against mine was enough to send me straight down onto one knee. I never wanted this moment to end, never wanted Poppy to leave my bed, and the few precious hours we had wouldn’t be nearly enough.
I rolled to my side and Poppy did the same, our hands, our mouths refusing to leave each other’s bodies for long.
She stroked my cock with both hands, while I played with her pussy, learning what she liked until I’d made her come twice by rubbing her clit.
“Condoms,” she breathed. “Please tell me you have condoms.”
I wanted to fuck her, wanted to bury myself balls-deep inside her and never leave. But Poppy’s words kept ringing in my ears. She wasn’t a one and done type of girl. And before I claimed her, she was right. I needed to know what my intentions were with this beautiful single mother who’d stormed into my life and staked claim to my heart.
I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Not tonight. I don't want to rush it.”
A smile blossomed on her lips right before she crawled down my body and pushed me flat on my back. Then her lips closed over me again, and nothing else mattered.
The sweet little Poppy Ellis who’d fought this every step of the way, was sucking me like her very life depended on it and I was lost.
Chapter Eighteen
Poppy
I practically ran out of class, pulling on my coat and scarf as I went. Zach’s office was in the building, and with our track record I knew if I stuck around too long I’d be sure to run into him. As if on cue, he stepped out of an office down the hall. I made a quick turn and darted around a corner, hoping he hadn’t seen me. I waited, listening for his footsteps. After a few moments of silence, I peered around the corner; he was gone. What the hell am I doing? I was a graduate student and a mom, and here I was cowering behind a wall to avoid a guy. What was wrong with this picture?
I’d been avoiding Zach ever since I went to thank him for fixing my car. That night I let my emotions, and my libido, get the best of me. I’d never expected to feel the way I did about him, but I still didn’t see how we could be together and I worried I was leading him on. I shouldn’t have let things go so far. It was a moment of weakness; I was only human, right? Ever since then I’d been ignoring his texts, and I was sure my mixed signals weren’t going over well.
The problem was, he was moving to New York. And even if he wasn’t … there were no guarantees we could work. Absolutely none, so I was trying not to focus on it.
I headed toward the Daily Grind, a cozy little coffee shop near campus, where I was meeting Kody and Jodee to study. We were in the middle of mid-terms, and I had a new paper due at the end of the week.
“Hey, girl.” Kody grinned at me from behind his laptop.
Jodee was hunched over, her laptop open, with a huge stack of papers next to it. We were seated near the door, and every time it opened a burst of cold air would come in, making Jodee shiver dramatically. She was so focused she hadn’t even looked up when I walked in.
I set my things down on the table and waved a hand near Jodee’s face. “Hey, are you okay? We can move to a different table.”
She finally noticed me with a start.
“Oh, sorry, no it’s fine. I just have to read all these stories people submitted for the literary journal. And I haven’t even started revising my own poems.”
I had nearly forgotten that Jodee was the Assistant Editor at the school literary journal, which meant she had to read almost every story and poem that was submitted on top of her own academic workload.
“I keep telling her she’s going to break her back hunching over like that all day.” Kody shook his head.
I gave Jodee a sympathetic look, but she was already back in her own world. I decided it was best not to bother her again.
“Are you almost done with your poems?” I asked Kody after I’d ordered my usual coffee.
“Close. What about you?”
“I’ve barely started,” I sighed. Between shuttling Connor between school and football practice and working part-time I’d hardly had time to even think about my course work.
I put in my headphones, selecting the opera that I liked to listen to while I wrote. I really needed to focus on revising, but every time the door of the Daily Grind opened a bell rang and I would turn around anxiously. I knew I was being slightly ridiculous, but it wouldn’t surprise me if Zach wandered in here and I didn’t want him sneaking up on me.
“What’s with you? You’re all jumpy,” Kody asked through a mouthful of blueberry muffin.
I hesitated. I knew if I told him I was afraid of Zach walking through the door I’d sound slightly crazy. Then again, they’d seen me in some pretty crazed moments and never judged me.
I shrugged. “It’s not a big deal, I just don’t really want to run into Zach right now.”
“Typical.” Kody gave me a dubious look. “Can you just bone him already so we can stop playing these games?”
I felt myself going red. I hadn’t told either of them what had happened between Zach and me, mostly because I didn’t know how I felt about it myself. Kody noticed my face and narrowed his eyes.
“Hold on, did you two finally go to pound town?”
Jodee looked up from the story she’d been studying.
I wrinkled my nose. “Gross, and no. But we did… other stuff.”
“Oh my God,” Kody shouted, causing most of the coffee shop to turn and stare at us. He and Jodee grinned at each other so excitedly I half expected them to high five. Kody lowered his voice. “So you got a preview? That’s smart, you should always test drive before you buy.” He clapped his hands. “This is the best day of my life.”
I grinned. “I think you need to reevaluate your life experiences if that’s true.”
“Don’t change the subject. So when are you going to finally seal the deal?” He was talking a mile a minute. “Wait, why are you avoiding him? Was it bad?” He whispered the last sentence, seemingly horrified at the prospect.
“No way,” Jodee jumped in, turning to me. “He’s too perfect. It wasn’t bad, was it?”
I put up my hands, trying to slow them down. “Don’t worry. It was…” I searched for the right word. “Amazing.”
But amazing didn’t even begin to describe it. Life changing was more like it. My skin prickled just talking about it.
“But he’s still my adviser, and that isn’t changing anytime soon. I just feel like we should have thought about it more before we did anything physical.”
“Girl, all you do is think.” Kody waved his hand in the air like he could wave away my concerns. “You need to live your life.”
Jodee nodded seriously. “I know I told you not to go for it before, but I feel like you actually really like each other.”
I smiled uneasily. Maybe they were right, but still the thought of having to sneak around was exhausting. And I didn’t even want to think about the consequences if we were caught.
Luckily, we had so much work to do we didn’t have time to discuss my relationship with Zach any further. After several more hours and too many coffees, I vibrated back to my car. As I searched for my keys I felt the smooth paper of the latest poem that had been left in my bag. I pulled it out and read it, smiling. I’d never been a huge fan of love poems, but something about these were different. They felt so personal.
I still hadn’t figured out who was leaving them, despite my best snooping. I’d purposely left my bag unattended in class and watched out of the corner of my eye, but nobody had taken the bait. While this wasn’t exactly Sherlock Holmes-level investigating, I still couldn’t understand how I hadn’t noticed wh
o was leaving them. Zach flashed through my mind. Could it be him? He’d certainly had enough opportunities alone with me to slip something into my bag. But still, it seemed impossible. These poems were sweet and tender, which was so not his style. He was crass and straightforward; there was no way poems like these could come from him.
* * *
That night, Connor’s school was throwing their fall dance. The “dance” was mostly a random assortment of games and activities with a local DJ playing music in the corner. Connor was especially excited about the cake walk, which I’d had to practically drag him away from last year. This year, he won on his third try and chose a pan of frosted brownies as his prize. While I wasn’t especially enthusiastic about him stuffing himself with brownies so close to bedtime, he was so excited that I couldn’t say no.
“Poppy,” a voice shouted from across the room. It was Sandra, the mom of Connor’s best friend, Jordan.
I smiled, waving her over. I had always liked Sandra. Unlike some of the other parents, she’d never judged me for being young or a single mother. Plus, she always had so much energy and a smile on her face, which was a welcome sight in a crowd of parents I didn’t know.
“How’s school?” she asked as Connor and Jordan compared prizes. “Have you met anyone interesting there?” She gave a small wink as she said interesting.
I laughed uncomfortably. “It’s great, I love the program. Everyone is really nice.”
As much as I liked Sandra, there was no way I was confessing to her that not only had I almost slept with my adviser but, that I was receiving random love poems from an anonymous wordsmith.
We continued to catch up while the boys got involved in a boisterous game of Twister. I hadn’t realized how uncomfortable I’d been before Sandra showed up. The other parents were nice, but distant. I think they weren’t sure how to socialize with someone who was so much younger than them and unmarried. Whenever we came to school events it was painfully obvious that Connor was the only kid without a dad. Even the divorced parents seemed to find a way to both show up. When he was younger, he’d ask me why his dad never came, but after a few years he’d gotten used to it. Still, I knew it had to be on his mind, and I always felt a little twinge of guilt about it.
