by E. L. Todd
She took a deep breath and pain was in her eyes. “I just want you to know that I didn’t sleep with Pike and I’m not seeing him.”
I clenched my jaw in anger. There were a million things I wanted to say but I couldn’t speak. If I did, my shouts would shake the walls and the foundation of the building. “I can’t talk right now…” I breathed through the anger.
Silke could read my emotions. “When can we talk?”
“Honestly, I don’t want to talk to you at all.”
She cringed like she’d been stung. “Then I’ll stop by your office tomorrow.”
“Do not bring our drama to my work.”
“Then when can I talk to you?” she snapped.
“We don’t talk when you don’t want to talk, so why do we have to talk when you want to talk and I don’t?” I tried to keep my voice low but I was struggling.
“Arsen…please.” She closed her eyes for a moment and a tear fell down her face. “Just talk to me.”
I hated watching her cry. I loved her so fucking much and it tore me apart to see her in pain—even if she deserved it. “I’m so pissed off right now, Silke. I don’t think it’s a good idea if we talk, at least for a while.”
“No…I want to make this right.”
“I wanted to make this right and you dumped me.” Venom was in my voice.
“But I—”
I held up my hand to silence her. “It’s escalating. Stop.”
She shut her mouth.
“Ryan picks Abby up every day from school. I’ll ask him to watch her for a few hours.”
“My dad picks her up?” she asked. “Why?”
I didn’t want to tell her the truth. “Because I know you wouldn’t want me to see Ms. Norris.” Take that.
Guilt came into her eyes.
I hope you feel like shit. “I’ll meet you here at three thirty.”
“Okay…” She stared at me like there was something else she wanted to say.
“Good bye, Silke.” I waited for her to walk away.
She continued to watch me.
“Go,” I commanded.
“I love you,” she blurted.
I stared her down and remained quiet.
“Say it back,” she whispered.
“Why? You know how I feel. I don’t need to say it.”
“I need to hear you say it.”
“No, you want reassurance that we’re going to be okay,” I snapped. “And I don’t know if we’re going to be okay so I can’t say it back.”
Her eyes bubbled again.
“Now go.”
She gave me one final look before she headed down the hall. When she moved around the corner, I heard her sniff. It was clear she was crying, waiting until she was out of sight before her tears fell.
I stayed in front of the door and bowed my head, feeling like a jerk.
***
I sat at the kitchen table and glanced at my watch. It was three twenty-nine.
My house was deadly silent, and even the TV wasn’t on. I just listened to the echoing silence and wondered how my conversation with Silke would go. Would it go well? Or would this be the end for good?
She knocked on the door. I knew it was her because of the light rapping.
“Come in.” I refused to get up and greet her. When I was too close to her I couldn’t think straight.
She walked inside then spotted me at the table. She didn’t say hi before she sat in the chair across from me. Her hands moved to her lap and she held herself like she was uncomfortable.
I rested my elbows on the table and stared at her.
Silke wanted his conversation so she could speak first. It seemed like she really wanted to talk last night but now she had nothing to say. She cleared her throat before her weak voice emerged. “I was walking home from work when I ran into Pike. He asked me to get coffee and I said yes. We talked about our lives. He has a girlfriend and he’s been with her for a while now. And I talked about…us.” Her gaze was glued to the surface of the table. “I know how it must have looked from your point of view, but I promise you that’s all that happened.”
“You know what I’ve been doing all week?”
She stared at me.
“Lying around and being depressed. I cried when I got home after we last spoke. Ryan was there for me.”
Pain came into her eyes.
“You really hurt me.” Emotion caught in my throat.
She averted her gaze in shame.
“So how do you think I felt when I saw you with him? A guy you used to fuck?”
She cringed at my harsh words. “Like I said, nothing happened. I didn’t call him. I just ran into him.”
I believed her. But I was still pissed off.
“You haven’t called me…”
“It didn’t seem like you wanted me to. You dumped me so I thought we were done.”
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “So…you didn’t really ask her out?”
I was irritated she even asked that. “You know I didn’t mean anything I said. I was just angry, Silke. If that weren’t the case, I wouldn’t have Ryan pick up Abby every day after school.”
Shame came over her face. “You did that for me?”
“I did that because you clearly don’t trust me.”
“It’s not that—”
“No, it’s exactly that.” My voice contained my rage.
“She said things to me, implying that something happened between you. She said you were attracted to her, that you wanted her. It just seemed like—”
“Did it ever cross your mind that she might lie just to get rid of you?”
Silke looked away.
“When have I ever made you doubt that you’re the only woman I ever want?”
“Never…”
“Even before I changed and got my act together you never questioned my loyalty to you. Why now?”
“She just…she got in my head.”
“Silke, I’m going to say something and you aren’t going to like it. But I’m going to say it anyway.”
She tensed in preparation.
“I get offers all the time. And I literally mean all the time. When I go out for lunch with Ryan it happens. When I hit the gym it happens. Customers hit on me at work. I’m a good-looking guy. I’m not arrogant. I’m just being honest here. I’ve had so many offers and I’ve never even considered them. To me, the playing field is completely over. I found the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Do you have any idea how much I wish I wore a wedding band so women would leave me alone?”
She remained rigid.
“Did you really want to know that? Did that make you feel better?”
She shook her head.
“What does it matter who hits on me and what they think of me? All that matters is you and I. Forget about everyone else.”
She nodded.
“You know I’m not a cheater. I’ve never been one and I never will be. I have too much respect for you to ever do something like that to you. You’re my best friend. Why would I hurt my best friend?”
She took a deep breath but remained quiet.
“And I don’t want any other woman. You’re the only person I ever want to make love to. You’re the only person I want to be around. You’re the only woman I would ever allow around Abby. You’re everything to me. Do you understand that?”’
“Yes,” she whispered.
I leaned back in the chair and sighed. “And about the marriage thing…”
“You’re right. I was being insensitive.”
Well, at least that part was easy. “You know I want to marry you, Silke. I wouldn’t ask for your input on houses if I didn’t plan on having you live there with Abby and I.”
“I know,” she whispered.
I stared at her and didn’t know what else to say.
“Are we okay now?” She gave me a look of longing. “Because I want to go in your bedroom and forget about all of this.”
“
Forget about it?” I asked.
“I just…make love to me.” Desperation was in her voice.
I couldn’t look at her. “No, we aren’t okay, Silke.”
Her breathing increased.
“You dumped me, Silke. You actually broke up with me.”
“Because I thought—”
“Something stupid. You were ridiculously harsh on me. I told you I wouldn’t hurt you again and I kept my promise. If you hadn’t found out about Ms. Norris this wouldn’t have happened. I shouldn’t have mentioned her to begin with.”
Her eyes fell.
“You’re the one who hurt me. I’m the one who should be walking away from this relationship, not you.”
Her eyes bubbled with tears. “So, this is the end?” Her voice was broken.
No, it would never be the end. “I love you too damn much to ever let you go. But I need space right now.”
She breathed an audible sigh of relief and didn’t bother hiding it. “I’m sorry about everything.”
“I know,” I whispered. “Frankly, if you were anyone else I would have walked away without looking back. But since it’s you…I will put up with all your doubts and insecurities for the rest of time. That’s how special you are. I hope you realize that someday.”
“I do realize it.”
I looked out the window and avoided her gaze. “Please leave.”
She remained in the chair.
“I’m still angry and resentful. I can’t just go back to what we were. I need time to let it go.”
“Okay.” She slowly rose from her seat like she didn’t really want to leave.
I purposely didn’t look at her.
Instead of walking to the door, she approached me. She stood beside me. “I love you.”
It pained my entire body not to say it back. It went against everything I believed in to remain quiet. My lips moved against my will. “I love you too.”
Chapter Seventeen
Skye
“We got the house.”
“Seriously?” Trinity clapped her hands in excitement. “So happy for you two.”
“Thanks.” I was excited to have my dream house but I wasn’t looking forward to living in it alone for three months.
“But are you sure you want to be right next to your parents?” she asked hesitantly. “Because I love my dad and everything but I wouldn’t want to be that close to him all the time.”
“I don’t mind. My dad won’t be working at PIXEL forever so being next door to him won’t be so bad.”
“When are they leaving?” Trinity asked.
“I’m not sure. But I would assume it would be sometime soon. Conrad and I have been working there for almost two years.”
“You got the hang of it?” She sipped her wine then returned it to the table.
“I think so. It’s pretty straightforward. But it’s nice having Conrad there for help.”
“I just can’t picture my brother being serious like my father. He’s too…childish.”
“He’s totally different at work than he is when he’s off.”
“He is?” She couldn’t hide the surprise in her voice.
“He’s focused and professional.” Sometimes when I saw him around the office I mistook him for Mike. “He looks just like your dad. When they both wear a suit they look like brothers.”
“Conrad just never seemed like the CEO type.”
“He is,” I said. “He does a good job. He knows when to be firm to get things done, and he also knows when to lighten up around the office. It’s hard to explain.”
“I guess my brother proved me wrong.”
“Honestly, there’s no one else I’d rather work with than him.”
Trinity’s eyes widened. “Wow.”
“You should see him at work,” I said with a nod. “He’s always on his game. I’m not even sure what Mike does anymore since Conrad does all the heavy lifting.”
Trinity tried to compose herself. She was clearly caught off guard by what I said. “I’m impressed.”
“Now he’ll take over PIXEL and you’ll run your own empire. Your parents must be so proud of both of you.”
“Yeah, I know they are,” she said.
“What’s new with you?” I asked. “I haven’t talked to you in a while.”
“We finally moved into the new building. I’m glad that’s over.” She released a deep sigh and downed her drink. “But the building is beautiful and it has a great location.”
“That’s so cool,” I said. “I remember you never studied in college because all you wanted to do was flip through a magazine. And now look at you…”
A slight smile stretched across her lips. “It is crazy, huh?”
“It’s awesome,” I said. “I’m so proud of you.”
Her cheeks flushed slightly. “Well, thank you.”
I finished my lemon drop then ordered another one. “How’s the marriage? Slade hasn’t pulled another stunt?”
“No, thankfully,” she said quickly. “We’ve been doing really well.”
“Good,” I said. “You guys are great together.”
“We are.” Her eyes turned dreamy as she thought about a distant memory. “You want to know something funny?”
“Always.”
“You have to keep it to yourself—no Cayson.”
“You got it.”
“Okay.” She flipped her hair over one shoulder. “Slade has been taking lessons from Sean.”
“Lessons?” About what? “About running a company?”
“No,” she said with a laugh. “About being an amazing husband.”
“What?” I blurted.
“He has a notebook where he takes his notes. I went through it by mistake.”
I couldn’t believe that.
“He’s trying so hard and it’s so adorable.”
“Why would he ask my dad?” I cringed at the thought.
She rolled her eyes. “Everyone says he’s the greatest husband in the world.”
“More like the most annoying husband in the world,” I argued.
“Anyway…Slade is really trying.”
“He was always trying,” I said. “It’s really sweet that he’s so determined to make this last forever.”
“We will last forever. He doesn’t need to do all that.”
“Are you going to tell him you know?” I asked.
“No,” she said immediately. “I don’t want to make him feel embarrassed.”
“That is embarrassing…” I couldn’t picture Cayson ever doing something like that. “I remember when he was reading How to be a Boyfriend For Dummies. Cayson told me he found it.”
Trinity laughed. “That was hilarious.”
I remembered all the things Slade had done for Trinity, from when he confessed his love for her in the hospital room when everyone was listening, to when he said the most heartfelt wedding vows I ever heard. “You’re very lucky. He loves you so much.”
“I know he does,” she said with a weak smile. After a pause and a drink she spoke. “Remember Connor from high school?”
“The asshole that took you to prom?”
“The very one.”
“Never forget him.” Trinity called me later that night and told me what happened. Ever since that moment, I went out of my way to throw spit wads at the back of his head.
“Slade and I ran into him the other night at the deli.”
I cringed. “How’d that go?”
“He was really nice. He seemed different.”
“Thank god,” I blurted.
“But when he left, I told Slade he took me to prom. And that was a mistake.”
“Why?” I wasn’t following.
“Well, I told Slade a long time ago how I lost my virginity. And Slade remembered that story very well…”
I covered my face. “Oh no…”
She smiled but sighed at the same time. “Slade ran him down and dragged him into an alleyway. He busted his jaw and bloodied his fa
ce. Then he made Connor apologize to me several times until it was absolutely perfect.”
My jaw was hanging. “Damn…”
“He was furious.”
“Out of jealousy?” I asked. “That was a million years ago.”
“No. He was pissed that Connor used me like that. Slade is very touchy when it comes to that subject.”
I smiled and felt my heart become warm. “That’s really sweet…”
“It was. I don’t condone violence even if it’s deserved but…Slade didn’t go too hard on him. Slade could have done a lot worse but he chose not to. He just wanted to get his point across.”
“That guy would do anything for you.”
“I know.”
“He never figured out the elevator was just a hoax?” I asked. Slade wasn’t very bright so I wasn’t surprised he hadn’t figured it out.
“No. He accepted the story without question.”
“But didn’t he think it was weird when the fire department didn’t come?” I asked.
“He wasn’t really thinking at the time.”
“Well, I’m glad it worked out.”
“Me too,” she said. “I hope it’s smooth sailing from this point onward.”
“I’m sure it will be,” I said. “Especially since he’s taking lessons from my father.”
“The other day one of my employees was in my office, and he’s young and attractive. Slade saw us together but he didn’t get jealous.”
“Slade Sisco?” I asked incredulously. “Or are we talking about a different Slade?”
She chuckled. “Nope. The guy even kind of made a jab at him and he still didn’t snap.”
“Wow…that’s a miracle.”
“He did ask about him later that day but it wasn’t in a threatening way.”
“He really is a new man.”
“I can’t believe it either,” she said. “We hardly fight anymore and it’s really nice.”
“Is the sex still good?”
“It’s even better,” she blurted.
“That’s good.” I sipped my lemon drop then felt the bracelet on my wrist.
“How are you holding up?” She gave me a sad look.
I knew what she meant. “I’m okay.”
She gave me a look that said. “Come on.”
