At least Colin had improved over the last three days. Sarah fussed over him until the wound healed enough for him to get out of bed and sit outside on the front porch. She’d seen Caleb sit with him a few times, sharing stories, laughing, making her feel worse than she already did. Not once did his gaze turn in her direction, as if he knew where she stood and purposely shunned her.
Why had it taken Colin getting shot and her anger to flare before she realized the extent of her love for Caleb? Seeing Colin almost lose his life had sent a gut-wrenching fear through Heather so powerful, it felt as if her heart were about to split in two. She’d thought of Sarah and the loss she’d suffer if her husband didn’t survive. In that instant, Heather knew she’d feel the same if anything were to happen to Caleb.
She’d gone about the rest of day on edge, waiting for news on Colin’s condition, dreading the appearance of a rider who might bring a report of his death. Instead of taking comfort in her feelings for Caleb, she’d pushed him away. Worse, she’d known exactly what to say, what would hurt him the most, and she’d used it to her advantage.
“I thought you might be out here.”
She turned at the sound of Geneen’s voice.
“Aye. I know Ma and the others are expecting me in the house to help with supper. It’s just so bonny this time of evening.”
They walked out of the barn to the corral on the side, resting their arms on the fencing. “This used to be my favorite time of day.”
Heather looked at Geneen, her brows drawn together in a frown. “Used to be?”
Geneen continued to look straight ahead. “Before Nate left. We used to walk out here, watch the sun set. No one ever noticed us, you know. Everyone was so busy, Nate and I could slip off for a spell when he’d come for Sunday supper or ride out with Brodie during the week.” Geneen looked at her, a sad smile barely lifting the corners of her mouth. “Then his visits became fewer and fewer until he hardly came at all.”
Heather had known how much Geneen loved Nate Hollis, Brodie’s deputy. Until now, she hadn’t realized the pain she still suffered at his leaving, riding out without a word of explanation.
Nate had fought for the Union as an officer. During one horrific battle, he’d suffered an irreversible wound, losing his left arm below the elbow. Making his way west, he’d learned of an opening for a deputy in Conviction. It had taken one fight, the odds decidedly not in his favor, for Brodie to make the decision to hire him.
Placing a hand on Geneen’s arm, she squeezed. “The lad had problems, lass. Ma and Audrey said he couldn’t deal with them here.”
“We all have problems, Heather. The difference is most of us don’t run out on the ones who love us.” A single tear escaped, running down Geneen’s cheek before she could swipe it away.
“Ah, lass, I’m certain the lad will be back for you. It was plain to all of us how much he loved you.”
Shaking her head, Geneen’s shoulders slumped as she gripped the fence for support. “That was before the opium took control. There was too much pain, too many nightmares, too many memories.”
“Audrey says they got the opium from his system.”
Geneen nodded, her voice flat. “But not his mind.” Drawing in a shaky breath, she glanced over her shoulder at the house, then down at the ground. “Doc Tilden saw a lot of opium addiction during his time working on soldiers during the war. He said Nate’s problems are far beyond his physical pain.” Stepping away, she wrapped her arms around her waist. “I’ve come to accept Nate won’t be back, Heather.” Licking her lips, she focused her gaze on her friend. “I don’t know what happened between you and Caleb. All I do know is you still have a chance to make it work. Do you know what I’d do if I had one more chance with Nate?”
Heather shook her head, swallowing the tightness in her throat.
“I’d grab it with both hands and never let it go. I’d tell him how much I loved him, that no woman would ever love him as much as me. I’d let him know I’d do whatever it took to help him get over whatever evil gripped him and never leave…never give up…never let him down.” Brushing away another tear, she cleared her throat. “Then I’d wrap my arms around his neck and show him how much I meant what I said. If you love Caleb as much as I think you do, maybe you should think about what a future without him would look like, and if it’s a life you want to have.” Her bottom lip trembled on the last before she turned and walked to the house, leaving Heather to stare after her.
Chapter Twenty-One
Heather glanced down and across the table at Caleb. She couldn’t remember the last time he’d sat next to her or acknowledged her presence. Her heart ached at the chasm between them. If only she knew what to do to fix the damage caused by her senseless words.
Several days had passed since her enlightening conversation with Geneen. Heather sat on the porch each night, staring at the stars, thinking over how she’d feel if Caleb packed up and left the same way Nate had. The comparison seemed useless. She and Geneen were nothing alike. Calm and serene even under stress, Geneen could ride and shoot as well as any man, yet sew and cook along with the women. Little fazed her…except Nate leaving. The tears she’d shown the other night made Heather ache for Sarah’s younger sister. Tonight, she sat next to Geneen, the young woman’s ivory skin and rosy cheeks showing she’d recovered from their conversation.
Geneen leaned over, lowering her voice. “Did you know Blaine and Caleb rode out a couple days ago on business for the family?”
A brow lifting, Heather shook her head. “Nae. Do you know what it was about?”
“No idea at all. I asked Sarah and she doesn’t know, either, but they were gone two days. Got back a few hours ago and went straight into a meeting with Ewan and Ian.”
Heather knew how much her uncles trusted Caleb. In her mind, it boded well for his future at the ranch. They were a welcoming family, warm and caring. Still, they didn’t easily allow people into their inner circle. The fact they’d known him since he was seventeen, their families traveling west in the same wagon train, helped.
“Just Ewan and Ian?”
Geneen nodded. “Odd, isn’t it?”
Heather had to agree it was strange. A decision having to do with the family would normally include Colin, Quinn, and Brodie, as well as Blaine, Caleb, and Sean. Then a discussion would be opened up to the entire clan before a final decision was made. Everyone had a voice—at least those sixteen years and older.
“Did they bring in any of the other lads?”
“Not that I saw. I suppose we’ll hear about it when they’re ready.” Shrugging, Geneen turned back to her meal while Heather shot a quick glance down the table at Caleb. Tonight, he sat between Blaine and Fletcher at Ewan’s end of the table. The three spoke in hushed tones, their faces animated and eager. She couldn’t help wondering what it all meant, feeling a stab of jealousy at being left out.
“Hope it isn’t too late to join you.”
Everyone looked up, smiles spreading across their faces as Sam walked in with Jinny on his arm, Brodie and Maggie following.
“Ach, it’s never too late for you four to come home.” Audrey hurried toward them, hugging each one, as those around the table adjusted their places to make room.
“You be looking very bonny, lass.” Ewan hugged Maggie. “A few more months and we’ll have another wee bairn in the family.”
Maggie blushed, settling a hand on her protruding belly.
“And I suppose you’ll be next, Jinny.”
Jinny smiled, slapping her father’s arm. “Da, we’ll not be speaking of it around the table.” She cast a warm look at Sam as he pulled out her chair.
“What brings you out here during the week?” Emma asked, taking hold of Quinn’s hand under the table.
Brodie looked around, waiting until he got most everyone’s attention. “We’ve got news.” His announcement quieted the table.
“What news, lad?” Ewan set his fork down.
“We arrested Giles Delacroix as the leader of the
gang committing crimes at Circle M.”
He watched as eyes widened, jaws dropped, and chairs scooted back. Finally, Audrey spoke up.
“I knew he couldn’t be trusted. Felt it right here the day he rode to the ranch when you lads were at the Estrada hacienda fire.” She patted her stomach.
“Start from the beginning, son.” Ewan pushed his plate away.
The room fell silent as Brodie explained Seth following Giles to the cabin and his meeting with Black. Afterward, Brodie, Seth, and Sam met with Bay and August, reviewed what they had, then brought in Philip Aunspach. In addition to what he’d already given Bay, the banker had agreed to provide information on withdrawals Giles had made for cash while in Conviction, money they were certain was used to pay Black Jolly and the other men.
“The best evidence, though, came from a journal Giles kept in a locked drawer in his desk. Now, I’ll not be telling you how we got it, but once we did, there were no more questions to ask. We had the names of the men he hired, how much he paid, and the jobs.”
“Including hanging our man, Brodie?” Ewan asked.
He nodded. “Aye, Da. Philip said he always was a meticulous man, believed in documenting everything.” Brodie looked at Sam.
“It’s a mystery how he never got suspicious of us watching him. When he came down for breakfast this morning, the five of us were waiting for him. All Bay had to do was set the journal on the table and Delacroix crumbled.” Sam shook his head, chuckling. “Never had an easier arrest in my entire life.”
“What about Black Jolly?” Colin asked, his arm still bandaged from a bullet he’d taken from the man’s gun.
Sam shook his head. “We rode out this morning to arrest him, but he’d cleared out. Seth also heard Black and Delacroix talking about a woman, but we don’t know her name or anything about her. Anyway, he’s gone.”
Colin pinched the bridge of his nose. “For now.”
Brodie held up his hand. “I’m not letting it go, lad. I’ve already sent word to all the towns around here and as far east as Denver, north to Seattle, and south to San Diego. Sam sent a telegram to Allan Pinkerton and the Texas Rangers. No one is giving up on finding that miscreant or the woman with him.”
“Do you know anything at all about her?” Geneen sat forward, leaning around Heather to look at Brodie.
“Nothing. Giles doesn’t know her, either. At least he says he doesn’t. All he said was Black had a woman in town who helped him get information about us.”
“Us?” Caleb’s brow lifted.
“The MacLarens, lad.” Brodie rubbed his chin. “Could’ve been anyone.”
“So it could be a woman who’s been in Conviction a long time and Black paid her to get information on us.” Blaine leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms.
Fletcher nodded. “Or someone new he brought with him, someone who asked about the family. It’s not as if people don’t know us or as if we keep quiet about ourselves. Right, Quinn?” He grinned at his cousin, who tossed a napkin at him.
“We’ve little to hide.” Colin rubbed the sore spot on his shoulder. “Everyone knew about the Estrada and Evanston properties. It would’ve been easy enough to learn where the cattle were grazing and men were located. Black could’ve used anyone.”
The room quieted as they all thought of who the woman might be and where Black might’ve gone.
“Well, we won’t be solving this tonight. It’s grand news about Delacroix.” Ewan looked around the table, a broad smile breaking across his face. “When supper is over, we’ll break out the whiskey and sherry to celebrate.”
Two days had passed since Brodie’s announcement. The cattle had been split into smaller herds and moved to grazing lands up north. The ranch hands had returned after several days of scouting the ponds, providing excellent news. Deer and other animals had been drinking from the water, none showing any ill effects. It appeared Black poisoned just one pond—a miracle given the other losses they’d incurred.
Heather heard Caleb left the morning after they learned about Delacroix’s arrest, returning late last night. Courtesy of Fletcher, she knew he’d been talking to Ewan and Ian since early this morning, so she’d asked to work with the horses, positioning herself to keep watch. Since she’d been the one to create the quarrel between them, she had to be the one to take the first step at healing it.
The longer Heather waited, the more her stomach churned and palms moistened. Ten minutes. That was all she needed to make her apology and set things right. Ten minutes, and they could be back to the way they were before she’d ruined things with a careless comment.
Hearing the front door open, she looked up, seeing Caleb walk out, followed by Ewan. As he stepped to the edge of the porch, her stomach lurched. Something wasn’t right.
He wore his heavy winter coat. Underneath, she could see his thick leather vest. In one hand, he carried a satchel. Slung over a shoulder were his saddlebags. In his other hand, he held his rifle. Her mouth went dry at the sight. When Caleb set the satchel down, Ewan clasped him on the shoulder, then shook his hand. The sight made Heather want to lose her breakfast.
He was leaving and hadn’t planned to say goodbye.
Heather stood frozen, watching as he bent to pick up his satchel and turned toward the barn. She knew the instant he spotted her watching. The smile on his face fell away and his step faltered as he made his way toward the barn.
Willing herself not to move, she watched as he walked inside, not bothering to spare her a glance. Shrugging out of his coat and vest, he walked to the back doors, whistling for Jupiter. When the horse trotted up, he slid a halter over him, then went to work grooming and saddling the gelding. She stood just inside, watching the muscles in his back expand and contract, his thighs flex against his pants, his rough hands smoothing over the horse, making her shiver.
Sucking in a ragged breath, she walked toward him, her throat constricting to a point she found it hard to breathe.
“Where are you going?”
He didn’t stop what he was doing or turn to look at her. “I’m leaving.”
Her first instinct was to pound him on the back, tell him he couldn’t leave. Not when she’d finally figured out what she wanted.
“I don’t understand. Where are you going?”
He blew out a breath. “Away, Heather. It’s not important where.”
Her entire body felt as if she’d been run over by a stampeding herd. Everything hurt, from her toes to her head. She hadn’t expected to feel this broken at his pronouncement.
“But why, Caleb? I thought…I mean, you and I, Caleb…” She clenched her hands together, trying to stop them from shaking.
His shoulders sagged slightly before he straightened, tossing the brush aside. Turning, he almost weakened, seeing the pain in her face. But he couldn’t. They both hurt, and hurting wasn’t enough to make him stay.
“It’s time to build a life for myself, Heather. You were right saying I’m not a MacLaren. I’m a Stewart. It’s time I acted like one.”
Stepping up to him, she placed a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off.
“Caleb, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Please, don’t go because I was an eejit and said something horrible.”
Looking down at his boots, he shook his head. “It’s more than that, Heather, and we both know it. You can do anything I can do. Seems there isn’t a lot I have to offer. No land, no money. You’re a woman who has it all and can take care of herself. I guess I finally came to realize it over the last few weeks, while all the troubles plagued the family. You don’t need me, Heather—not for one damn thing.”
“But…” she sputtered, unable to get any more out.
He turned toward the outside of the barn, extending his arm. “Look out there and tell me what you see.”
Her bottom lip quivered as she followed his gaze. “The ranch, Caleb.”
“Right. As far as you can see is MacLaren land. Circle M, the biggest spread for hundreds of miles. A few yea
rs ago, you were a big family with dreams. Now you’re the envy of every rancher coming out west.” He looked down at her, not a trace of jealousy on his face or in his voice. “This is where you belong, Heather. On Circle M, surrounded by your family.” When he started to turn away, she grabbed his arm, stopping him.
“You could share it with me. There’s no reason for you to leave, Caleb. Please, don’t do this.”
His eyes softened, as did his voice. Reaching up, he stroked a finger down her cheek, his will cracking a little at the sight of one lone tear.
“Ah, Heather, don’t you understand? I love you, but I’m not a MacLaren and I don’t think it’s within you to ever really forget that.” Dropping his arm, he stepped away. “I need to build a place of my own. Find a woman who loves me for what I can do for her, not for what I can do for her family. This may not make sense to you now, but one day it will.”
Watching as he saddled Jupiter, her body shook, as if she were covered in ice. When he slid the bridle on and grabbed the reins, her heart cracked. With every movement, she prayed he’d stop, tell her it was a mistake, a jest he’d dreamed up with her brothers and cousins. It was a delusional thought. He was leaving—without her.
As he walked past, the full impact of the loss slammed into her. Rushing forward, she grabbed his arm, yanking him around.
“No. You cannot be leaving me, Caleb Stewart. I won’t be letting you leave. I love you.
I—I…love…you.”
He closed his eyes, his throat working. He’d waited so long to hear her say those words. After all this time, they weren’t enough. Placing a finger under her chin, Caleb lifted her face, his gaze meeting hers.
He shook his head, his voice thick and ragged. “I can’t stay.”
“There must be something I can say or do. I’ll do anything, Caleb. Please. Tell me what I must do and I’ll do it.”
Dropping his hand, he settled his boot in the stirrup, swinging into the saddle. Glancing around, taking in the view one more time, he felt her hands clutch his thigh.
Looking down, he steeled his resolve. “You say you’ll do anything?”
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