by Rye Hart
“That’s why you’re so willing to help,” he said.
“Yeah. It changed me. Watching all of that changed me, and not for the better. I was angry as a teenager, and art was my outlet. It’s why I was so angry at Daryl all the time for calling my passion idiotic and silly. Because art literally saved me from my mother’s same wasted path.”
“He’s an asshole. You know that, right?” Brian asked.
“I do. I dated him in college because he was the first guy that had ever been interested in me. It was new and exciting, so I shrugged off his comments just to experience what it meant to be liked by a guy. But I found my confidence through my art and wasn’t willing to put up with his shit anymore. He wouldn't support my dreams, and he tried to turn me into someone I wasn’t.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you who are. Lanie and I happen to think you’re pretty great,” he said.
I smiled at him through my tears. “My interview didn’t go quite as planned.”
“Why did the interview not go as planned?” he asked.
“The gallery owner is looking to sell it, not have anyone showcase their stuff in it. And the more I stood in that place, the more I loved it. He asked me about my vision, and why I wanted to open my own gallery someday, and the more I talked about it, the more I wanted it. Badly.”
“Then buy it. Chase your dream, Amanda.”
“It’s not that simple. I don’t even have enough money to fix up the cabin and make it inhabitable. There’s no way I can afford to buy a gallery. I just feel like the walls are closing in on me. My grandmother was the one I would go to with my fears and my questions, and now when I need her most, I’m finally realizing that she’s truly gone. I feel so lost.”
Brian wrapped his arm around me, and I sank myself into him. His strength was comforting, and the warmth of his body cradled me perfectly. I cried into his chest as he pulled me into his lap, his hands rubbing up and down my back. It felt so good to talk. So good to get everything off my chest. I’d been so wrapped up in Brian and Lanie’s world that I had allowed it to replace mine.
My life was still crumbling around me, and I needed to acknowledge that so I could fix it.
“I’ll help you in any way I can,” Brian said. “Whatever you need, just ask.”
“Please hold me,” I said breathlessly. “That’s all I need right now.”
His arms threaded around my body and pulled me tightly against him. I could feel his muscles bracing for my body as my legs straddled his lap. I buried my face in the crook of his neck as he reached for something, then I felt a blanket being fluttered over our bodies.
I closed my eyes and allowed myself to revel in the strength and warmth that Brian had wrapped me in, and finally fell asleep.
CHAPTER 24
Brian
Amanda had cried herself to sleep in my arms the night before. My heart ached for her and all the pain she was holding in her small little frame. I took her to bed with me and held her close all night long, our legs and arms tangled up in each other. I loved waking up to her this way, her hair sprawled out on all my pillows and her body flush against mine. I opened my eyes and kissed her forehead, feeling her stir against me.
Then, I heard the door fly open before someone rocketed onto the bed.
“Breakfast time! Breakfast time!”
Lanie’s voice ripped Amanda awake, and she sat up quickly in bed. Her eyes were wide as Lanie threw herself at Amanda, hugging her closely as the small girl giggled. Amanda turned her startled gaze to me, and I shrugged my shoulders, grinning as I slipped out of bed.
Lanie didn’t seem shocked by the fact that we were in bed together, so I wasn’t going to make it into a big deal.
I could hear Amanda talking to Lanie in my bedroom as I made my way out to the kitchen. I started a strong pot of coffee before I pulled out some eggs, resolving myself to omelets for the morning. I cracked some eggs into a bowl and began whisking them up with salt and pepper, but my phone ringing from my bedroom caught my attention.
“You go get that,” Amanda said, coming into the kitchen. “I’ve got this. Scrambled eggs for Lanie, I know. What’s for us?”
“Omelets,” I said.
I saw who was calling and picked it up immediately. I sat on the edge of my bed and braced for some relief. I was ready to nail Lanie’s father to a fucking wall. I was ready to pin this damn warehouse fire on him and get this fucking nightmare over with.
Because if I married Amanda, I wasn’t sure I could let her go anymore.
“Well, we found the culprit for the warehouse fire, but you’re not going to be happy as to who it is,” Jack said.
“Fuck,” I said. “Who started it?”
“Some disgruntled employee. I had to pull up his records to figure out who the hell he was. We fired him a couple of weeks back for sexually harassing the women in his department. They found a note in an abandoned car not too far from the fire.”
“Are we sure it’s not something that was planted?” I asked.
“Yep. Matched his handwriting and the DNA he left behind in the car to him. He’s been arrested and charged,” he said.
I groaned as I ran my fingers through my hair. This was a massive blow to my case for Lanie. This meant I had no choice but to go through with marrying Amanda. I thanked Jack for the information and got off the phone quickly, then I dialed my lawyer right behind him. I needed to make sure he had this information.
But he could hear the worry in my voice.
“Brian, take a breath. As long as you go through with this wedding, things will be okay. Keep your nose to the ground, keep your house clean, keep your company under control, and stay strong. You getting to the courthouse before Tuesday?”
“I’m going to try. This thing with the warehouse fire has really offset things. Plus, I don’t want to make it look like we were eager to get married before the court date. Won’t that look suspicious?”
I was grasping for anything that could get me out of this arrangement with Amanda.
“That’s one way to look at it. Is there any proof that you two are engaged? Rings? A party? Have you filed for a marriage license?” my lawyer asked.
“Yes, I have done that. And I have a ring. I just haven’t given it to her yet,” I said.
“Good. As long as there’s paperwork in the system requesting a marriage license and maybe a picture or two of her and you with the ring on her finger, I can use that as intent to marry. It won’t be as strong, but it’ll prove there’s a female influence in the house with Lanie.”
“Good.”
“But you have to tie the knot by the end of the week,” she said. “Just in case we have one of those stickler judges. Okay? Don’t screw around with this, Brian.”
“I’m not,” I said curtly. “I’m treading lightly. I want to mitigate risk as well as make sure no false assumptions are made. It’s going to do us no good to get married if the judge can peg that we did it for the sole purpose of the custody battle.”
“Fine. As long as your head’s in the right place.”
I got off the phone with my lawyer, but my mind was swirling. I needed to get out of this house and think. I needed to get my mind off all this bullshit and put some sort of plan in motion.
“Knock, knock.”
I lifted my head and saw Amanda standing there, a worried look in her eye and eggs staining the front of her shirt.
She looked perfect in the mornings.
“Everything okay?” Amanda asked.
“Could you watch Lanie for a bit?” I asked.
“Sure. What’s going on?” she asked.
“I need to clear my head for a minute.”
“Okay. Be careful, all right?” she asked. “Call me if you need me.”
“I still don’t think I have your phone number,” I said, chuckling.
She pulled out her phone and pressed a few buttons before mine rang out. I looked down at it and saw a number I didn’t recognize along with a small little
message scrolling across my screen.
Now you do, the text message said.
Grinning, Amanda pushed off the doorframe and headed back to the kitchen. I saved Amanda’s number on my phone, then dressed in some warm clothes. I pulled on my hiking boots and slipped out the back, listening as the sounds of Lanie and Amanda giggling followed me out the door. I smiled at the sound as I started for the hiking trail, ready to lose myself in the nature that surrounded my home.
I felt like I was back at square one. Lost and alone and bobbing in an endless ocean of turmoil. I knew Amanda was still willing to help me, but I wasn’t sure if I was willing to take her up on it anymore. If we had to go through with this marriage thing, then I needed to tell her how I felt. She needed to know the truth going in so she could make the best decision for her.
Especially with all she was dealing with currently.
I shoved my hand into my pocket and wrapped my fingers around the small box. I’d picked the ring up after Lanie and I had pizza the other day. It caught my eye in the shop window just before I heard Amanda’s voice calling out down the sidewalk.
I went back to purchase it as she made sure her asshole ex understood he was no longer wanted in town.
It was the perfect ring for her, but now it felt important. Before, it was only a ring. Something to help us with our little scheme. But now, it felt more real. I imagined all the ways I could propose to Amanda. I thought of all the ways she deserved to be proposed to. As I walked through the woods and drew in deep breaths, I thought about the lavish wedding she deserved. The luxurious honeymoon I could take her on. I thought about the beautiful princess gown she deserved to walk down the aisle in and the tailored tuxedo I wanted to wear when I saw her for the first time.
She would get none of that this way, and that admission broke my heart.
I knew she would marry me to help Lanie, but I wanted her to marry me because she loved me.
I just wasn’t sure that was even possible.
CHAPTER 25
Amanda
“Where’s Uncle Bwian?” Lanie asked.
“He went to go for a walk, sweetie. He’ll be back soon,” I said.
“Can we go on a walk?” she asked.
“How about we play some tag?” I asked.
“Walk.”
“We have to stay inside until your uncle gets back, sweetheart.”
“But why, Amana?”
I loved the way she said my name, eliminating the “D” with her little toddler squeak. I thought back to the day she had called me ‘mommy’ and my heart skipped. With each passing minute I spent with this precious child, the deeper in love I fell with her. I wanted to be her mommy, to have her look to me for comfort and love.
Which was another reason why I wanted to help Brian.
I saw firsthand the power of his parenting. I saw how much he loved Lanie, and I saw how much Lanie respected him. She listened to him, even when he was being stern. Brian was a protector by nature, not just by profession. He would be the best person for Lanie to grow up with.
But I was worried about Brian and myself. Every time I was in Brian’s presence, my stomach fluttered with butterflies. My heart would start racing, and my legs would grow weak. Every time he kissed me or held me close to him, I felt like I was at home. In his arms, I felt beautiful and safe. I felt like his equal. He listened to me and genuinely appeared to care about my life. He was genuinely shocked when I told him about the art gallery interview, and he seemed like he wanted me to talk about it with him.
That was new territory for me, and it only strengthened the feelings I knew were growing for him.
Which made things with this marriage situation sticky. Brian and I still had a lot to discuss, and first and foremost, that mean we had to hash out our feelings. Well, at least my feelings. I knew Brian was ready to give me an out after he won custody of Lanie, but there was a part of me that wouldn’t be sad if he didn’t give it to me. He was a good man; strong and dedicated to the people in his life. He was isolated, sure, but hadn’t I been planning on being isolated myself by living in my grandmother’s cabin?
Either way, we needed to talk about things. Now that these feelings were developing on my end, I felt he had a right to know. Especially with some fake marriage looming on the horizon. If he was still interested in it, he wasn’t showing any signs of it. Neither of us had rings, he hadn’t brought up the subject in a few days, and we were a couple of days away from having to do something about this. Was he second-guessing his move? Was this not something he wanted any longer?
The air between us was still tense. I wasn’t sure why or how to fix it, but I knew something was hanging between us that needed to be addressed. If we were going to pull off this marriage thing, then communication was key. Whether we decided to stay married or not, we needed to be open with one another. And part of that meant having a decent conversation with him about what happened in town.
I needed him to know that I didn’t need to be taken care of. I needed him to see me as a strong woman who could fend for herself if I needed to. Sure, it was nice that he wanted to stand up for me and run Daryl out of town, but I wasn’t some damsel in distress. That’s how Daryl had always treated me; like some dumb girl who needed her man to run her life. I wouldn’t allow anyone else to treat me like that again. I was an independent woman with a plan for my life, even if I had zero idea of how I was going to fund that plan.
“Amana, wanna play tea party?” Lanie asked.
“I’d love to,” I said. “Who all’s coming to this one?”
“Princess Teddy, Mr. Frog, and Funny Bear,” she said.
“No Miss Applepit?” I asked.
“No. Miss Applepit is sick.”
“Well, then we should make Miss Applepit something to eat. Some soup, maybe?” I asked.
“Soup for lunch! Then tea party,” she said.
“Sounds like a great idea,” I said, grinning.
I loved Lanie’s imagination. How she could bounce all of these ideas around in her head like it was her job. The way she brought all of her stuffed animals to life was reminiscent of what I did with my paintbrush. These inanimate objects were tools I used to bring light into my life and into the lives of others. Lanie’s joy when it came to her dolls and her stuffed animals reminded me of the joy I had painting in college.
The joy my ex tried to rip from me.
Just as Lanie and I were sitting down for lunch, the door to the cabin flew open. Brian came walking into the house, his coat pulled tight and his nose red from the cold. He stood strong and tall but came in silent and distant. He passed right by the kitchen table and headed for his room, then closed the door behind him.
He didn’t even say “hi” to Lanie.
“Uncle Bwian?” Lanie asked.
I could hear the sadness in her voice as her eyes filled with tears.
“Hey, hey, hey. None of those, okay?” I asked. “How about this? You eat your soup then set up your tea party, and once the party’s set up, both Uncle Brian and I will join you for it.”
“Really?” she asked, sniffling.
“Really.” I kissed Lanie’s forehead, trying to comfort the little girl in her time of need. I wasn’t sure what had plagued Brian on his walk, but this was taking it too far. He couldn’t let whatever was bothering him affect Lanie and ignoring her as he’d walked in was doing just that.
Which meant I had to intervene.
“I’ll be right back,” I said.
“Okay, Amana.”
. I walked down to Brian’s room and knocked but got no response. I knocked again before I crossed my arms over my chest, waiting for Brian to open his bedroom door. But when he didn’t, I slipped in and found him sitting on the edge of his bed.
“You can go home,” he said.
His words stopped me in my tracks.
“What?” I asked.
“You can go home.”
He was gazing down at his hands as he clamped them between his le
gs.
“I’m not here to talk about that right now. Lanie’s out there crying because you walked right past her. She sees your distress. Talk to me, Brian, because Lanie’s catching on and we told one another we’d keep this from her,” I said.
“There’s nothing to keep. Everything’s fine. I’ll be out there in a second to relieve you.”
“I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me,” I said.
His eyes slowly panned over toward me, and they were filled with something I’d never seen before. His deep blue eyes were a mixture of confused and wary, and where I usually saw confidence, I found questions instead. Unasked questions with answers he would never get unless he sat down with me and talked.
“Brian, Lanie’s eating dinner. Let’s take a second to —”
“Go. Home.”
His voice was low. Commanding. Laced with anger and humming with darkness. I felt a knot form in my throat as tears rose to my eyes, but I blinked them away before he had a chance to see them. I wasn’t going to be weak in front of him, not like I’d been for so many months in front of Daryl. I rolled my shoulders back and nodded my head, choking down all the words I wanted to spew at him.
I guess I had my answer as to how he felt.
“Lanie wants to have a tea party. So suck it up. Get your ass out there, and be a dad since that’s what you’re fighting for.”
I turned on my heels and headed for the kitchen before Brian could form a rebuttal. I heard him step out of his room as I bent down toward Lanie, kissing her on the forehead. I was trying to keep my anger and my hurt at bay so the little girl wouldn’t feel anymore distress in the moment than she already had at Brian’s behavior.
