by Rye Hart
In that very moment, the fear she had been holding back trickled down her entire body. She shivered, goosebumps raced up her arms, and tears started down her cheeks. I moved toward her, backing her into the fridge and pinning her into my body.
Then, I scooped her up into my arms and held her close.
“Never am I ever going to separate my daughter from her mother,” I said into her ear. “You have my word. Look at me.”
Her eyes, bathed in her tears of fear, slowly panned up to me, and I felt my chest fill with the same warmth I’d felt all those years ago. Even as she sniffled and tried to control her sobbing chest, she was the perfect vision of beauty. Even in her sadness, her big, bold eyes and her beautiful, black hair boasted of a kindred innocence she shared with my daughter.
I hooked my gaze onto her as I leaned against her kitchen counter.
“I am never taking Ana from you,” I said. “I want what’s best for all of us. For me. For you. For Cassie and Kevin. All I’m asking for is a chance to prove it to you.”
I held my breath as I searched her face for a reaction and relief coursed through my pulsing veins when she smiled.
“Okay,” she said breathlessly.
I hugged her close as I slowly set her down onto her feet. She leaned her cheek against my chest and allowed her hands to slide down my stomach. I had to take deep breaths to try and calm my body, because just her warmth was intoxicating. I ran my hand through her hair and rubbed her back soothingly, finally feeling her relax from the weight of all I had brought upon her tonight.
“The next time we meet up, there’s someone I’d like you to meet,” I said.
“Oh?” she asked. “Who’s that?”
“You’ll see,” I said as my hands stroked her arms. “For now, all I want to do is help you in any way I can. Is there anything else you have to do tonight?”
“Well,” she said as she looked down at her hand. “I suppose I have to figure out what to do with this.”
She lifted the green wad of cash up to her face and smiled a devious little smile. I couldn’t help but lose myself in her playfulness, the way she’d opened herself up to me without any regard to how I might hurt her. I felt my softness come into play as my hand reached out to cup her cheek, my thumb tracing over the pouty lower lip I’d suckled on back at the diner.
She puckered her lips to kiss the pad of my thumb, and I felt my entire body heat up underneath the small little touch.
What this strong woman did to me was unmistakable and I knew in that very instant I’d never let her go.
Not even if she wanted me to.
Chapter Seventeen – Rose
Work was long, and I still had four more hours to go. I’d taken the lunch and the dinner shift back to back, wanting the morning with Ana and Kevin before Camillo came back over tonight. I was nervous about having him over. Last night had felt more like a dream than it had reality and when I woke up this morning and was getting everyone ready for their days, I had almost convinced myself it hadn’t taken place.
It wasn’t until Kevin asked when Camillo was coming back that I realized I hadn’t dreamt anything.
My prince had shown up on my doorstep. He’d walked in from the cold with snow on his shoulders and sat down right in front of me. He’d taken me into his arms and pulled my wrists back tightly, exposing my body to him just like he had that night. He sat there right on one of my stools in my place of work and brought me to an ecstasy I thought was long gone with the memory of him from three years ago.
And in this little diner in the middle of the Poconos, my fallen angel had found me once again.
In a way, revenge had been my biggest secret that night. It wasn’t Ana or how my parents died. It wasn’t the fact that I’d given up my dreams or sacrificed my life for theirs. It was the fact that I wanted to show that life couldn’t beat me down. I wanted to rise from the ashes, no matter how battered and bruised I was and spit in the face of life while it laughed at my sorrows. I kept myself busy during the days, and then I laid my head down at night, vowing revenge to an entity that didn’t exist. Vowing revenge on whatever entity was responsible for the way my life had turned out.
But instead, life gave me the one piece of relief I’d had in the past three years and I’d gladly opened my arms to him.
I had no idea if that was a good idea. I didn’t know if trusting him would lead to yet another tragedy in my life. I had no idea who he was, what he was about, or who this mysterious person was he wanted me to meet. But I knew two things for certain.
The love he had for Ana was unmistakable and I was attracted to him, now more than ever.
I was finally able to clock out of work and rush home to make myself a little more presentable. All night, last night, I’d worn nothing but my sweaty work uniform. Usually, my dinner dress was a loose-fitting t-shirt and yoga pants. The ensemble was cheap to purchase, easy to wash, and allowed me the comfort I sought in the evenings once everyone else had gone to bed.
But tonight, I wanted to dress a little nicer for my dark prince.
I barreled through the doors and brushed past Cassie and Kevin playing Minecraft. I rushed upstairs and peeked into Ana’s room, seeing her playing with her toys. I smiled and then I hopped into the shower and washed myself down quickly. I allowed my hair and body to dry while I shuffled through my measly closet. I didn’t have much. My paycheck didn’t afford me the ability to purchase nice clothes, but I did come across a dress I let myself purchase a couple of years ago.
A loose-fitting, dark green dress that cinched around my waist and fluttered just past my knees.
I threw it on and dried the rest of my hair just as I heard the doorbell ring. I heard Kevin get up to answer the door. I reached down and grabbed Ana off the floor and headed downstairs, coming around the corner just as Camillo walked through the door.
Only this time, he had a little boy in front of him.
I stared at the little boy and noted how he didn’t quite look like Camillo. They shared the same skin tone and sternness around the eyes, but that was about it. The boy looked to be around twelve, and I tried to keep my surprise at bay as the young man slowly backed up into Camillo.
“This is my nephew, Junior,” he said.
I looked up into Camillo’s eyes and I could see the way he was raking them over me. I buried my smirk and tried to tame the blush creeping up my skin. There was something inside of me that took a great deal of pride in being able to look presentable for him and I clung to Ana while she tried to wiggle from my grasp.
“Is that her?” Junior asked.
“It is,” Camillo said. “Would you like to go meet her?”
I bent down to the level of the boy as he walked toward me. His movements were tentative and restricted, like he was still feeling out the place. Junior studied Ana intensely.
But then the boy looked right into my eyes and nodded.
“She looks like you,” Junior said.
“I think she looks more like her father,” I said.
“That’s what I meant.”
The boy was guarded and I held up my hand to stop Camillo from reprimanding him. The walls this little boy had thrown up must’ve come from a massive blow to his life and I couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to bring him to live with his uncle.
But instead of questioning the boy about it, I made a mental note to talk with Camillo about it later. I saw Junior’s eyes flicker over to the television and, in an instant, I saw a familiar glow of happiness pour over his face.
“You play Minecraft?” he asked.
“Not me, but my brother does,” I said. “He’s been teaching your uncle how to play.”
“Uncle Camillo, playing video games?” he asked.
“Yep,” I said, grinning.
“Wanna play?” Kevin asked.
We all turned toward Kevin, who was now sitting on the couch. Camillo went over and sat down beside him as Ana finally wiggled out of my grasp. She ran over to him and he p
icked her up, smiles lighting up their faces. I watched with joy pouring into my chest.
And all the while, I could feel Junior’s eyes on me.
“Can I play?” he asked.
I turned my gaze back to the boy and saw a sorrow behind them that wrenched my soul. I wanted to reach out my arms and envelop him. I wanted to welcome him into this home like I had so many other lost souls. I wanted him to know that he was welcome here anytime to come play, no matter what time of the day it was.
But I settled for nodding at him before he dove onto the couch next to Kevin.
I got out of the way of the television, and Camillo’s eyes followed me. He kept his gaze on me for as long as he could before the boys started talking to him about the game. I saw him get lost in it all, in the way Ana clung to him and the way the boys wanted to bond with him. I stood in the doorway as Cassie approached me. Then she tugged my arm and brought me into the kitchen.
“What?” I asked.
“Do you see it?”
“See what?” I asked.
“How Kevin’s just gravitated to him?” she asked.
“Yes, I have. Kevin’s been without a strong male influence for a very long time. And during a critical time of his life, as well.”
“So, you’ve been thinking about it,” she said.
“About what?” I asked.
“Stop being so thick. About Camillo sticking around. He was over here last night, and he’s here again tonight. If he keeps coming around, Kevin’s gonna think he’s staying. Ana, too.”
“And what if he does?” I asked.
“I just wanna make sure your head’s still in this. He swept you off your feet three years ago, remember? But now you’re a mother. A caretaker. You can’t allow yourself to do that again.”
“Why not?” I asked. “Why couldn’t I have all of it? The family and the bonding and the romance?”
“Do you really think three years ago was romance?” she asked.
“It was to me and that’s all that matters,” I said.
I folded my arms over my chest before I turned my gaze back out to the boys. Kevin had handed Junior a separate controller and the two of them were building an entire farm. Camillo was chiming in with materials they should use and telling them stories of the types of materials he’d used to build his own things and I got lost in the perfection of it all.
But Cassie’s voice pulled me from all of it and I sighed.
“You look nice,” she said.
“Thanks.”
“I haven’t seen you wear that dress in years,” she said.
“Never had a reason to wear it.”
“But you do now?”
“Yes, I do now.”
“What’s that reason?” she asked.
“Cassie, could you back off?” I asked.
“Think this through. Why did you come in and get dressed up?”
“Because I wanted to impress Camillo, okay? I was in my fucking uniform all night last night. So, sue me for wanting to feel pretty again.”
I saw the worry behind her eyes and I sighed before I enveloped her in a hug.
“I know you’re worried about us and I know you’re just looking out for us. But trust me, okay? I wouldn’t ever bring someone around my own daughter and my brother if I didn’t think they would be good for them.”
“But what about what’s good for you?” Cassie asked. “It’s about time you started doing something for you.”
“And I am,” I said as I held out my arms. “Look at me. I’m in a dress for the first time in years, and I’m loving it.”
“You are?” she asked.
“Yes, you idiot, what the hell’s wrong with you?” I asked, giggling. “I couldn’t even look at another man after that night three years ago. You think it was because he hurt me, but it was really because he opened my eyes up to this world. This… this lifestyle of unimaginable beauty and pleasure and grace. No man compared, Cassie. None of them. And just look at Camillo. Look at how good he is with those boys.”
I stepped aside and allowed Cassie a glimpse into what I was already becoming addicted to.
“He is good with them,” she said, murmuring.
“He’d be perfect for this role. This strong male influence that Kevin hasn’t had in so long. And Ana? She deserves her father.”
“I just don’t want you getting your hopes up,” she said. “He just strode in out of nowhere. How do you know he’s not gonna just walk back out?”
“There are a lot of unknowns, yes. But you let me deal with those, all right?”
“Whatever you say, crazy town.”
“You haven’t called me that in months,” I said as I stepped over to the fridge.
“Because you haven’t done anything that warranted it until now.”
I pulled out the lasagna I pieced together this morning and threw it into the preheated oven. I pulled out a long loaf of bread I’d gotten at the store and split it in half, coating it in butter and fresh garlic before I wrapped it in tin foil. Just as the cheese started to bubble on top of the lasagna, I threw the garlic bread into the oven. Then Cassie and I began setting the table.
The boys trickled in soon after, with their noses tuned in to the smells wafting around our small little kitchen.
“It smells good in here,” Junior said.
“I hope you like lasagna,” I said. “I put it together this morning before work.”
“Do you have the garlic bread, too?” Kevin asked.
“Of course I’ve got garlic bread for the garlic monster,” I said, winking.
“Garlic monster?” Camillo asked.
“Kevin would probably eat raw garlic if I let him,” I said.
As the boys sat down at the table, I could see Camillo out of the corner of my eye. He was settling Ana into her high chair, clipping her in while she grabbed onto the tendrils of his hair. Junior had dropped his guard just a bit, so I could see a little more of that childish side of him and something told me that Kevin had finally found a friend to play with.
I knew Cassie was worried about me and she had every right to be. Camillo showed up in a snow-covered truck only twenty-four hours ago and now he was sitting down to family dinners like he’d been here for years. I really didn’t have any idea if he had any intentions of sticking around like he said. All I really had was my choice to believe him.
And I allowed myself to sink deep into a fantasy I didn’t even realize I had.
I wanted to know more about his nephew’s situation, but that wasn’t for me to pry into. If he wanted to bring it up and talk about it, I’d be there with an ear to listen. The mere fact that he had taken this boy in and was raising him as his own was a testament to how much he cared about family and it only served as more evidence in my mind to the fact that he meant what he said.
That he wanted to stick around and get to know all of us better.
I took out the leftover salad from last night and set it on the table. Cassie grabbed drinks for everyone while I backtracked for the salad dressings and, by that time, the oven timer was going off. I scrambled to the oven to take out the lasagna and garlic bread and my stomach began to rumble. Just as I turned around with the hot lasagna in my hands, I was met with the towering form of Camillo.
My eyes ventured up toward his as his stern gaze settled on me. He slowly took the hot lasagna from my hands, taking a step back before he took it to the table. I released the breath I didn’t know I was holding while I reached back for the garlic bread, but his hand came down on top of mine.
Oh, how I’d missed his touch.
“I’ve got it,” he said.
I looked up into his eyes and allowed myself to swim in their icy blue depth for a moment. He scanned me again, taking in my body in this dress while our heat radiated between one another. There was a part of me that wanted to raise up and kiss him. Just envelop his lips with mine to provoke him. I wanted him to pin me to this counter and take what he knew was his. I wanted that commanding
presence from three years ago to rear its head and strip me of all my walls again.
I wanted him to pull from my body what he’d given me three years ago.
“Would it be all right if I fed Ana tonight?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said breathlessly. “That’s just fine.”
The two of us walked back over to the table and sat down. Lasagna was being divvied out and the garlic bread was being sliced. Everyone was digging into the food and spooning more onto their plates and, all the while, Camillo was feeding Ana. He kept pulling apart the garlic bread and giving it to her to hold onto. Then, he took to chopping up some of the lasagna on his plate, once it had cooled, and was feeding it to her off his fork.
I melted into my chair while I watched him take care of his daughter.
The attention he was showering her with weakened my knees. The way he was completely focused on her, blowing on the food and tearing it into bite-sized pieces, it was almost enough to bring me to my knees. There was a pang of regret that washed over me. Could it have been this way from the moment Ana was born? If I’d just reached out to him and told him I was pregnant, could she have had this her entire life? Had I missed out on a partner that could’ve helped and supported us instead of me dragging our family through the mud and mire just to make ends meet?
Did I rob her of something substantial that would forever affect the way she developed?
“Rose, you okay?”
I felt Cassie’s hand reach over and touch my knee, squeezing it lightly as I turned my gaze toward her. I could feel how hot my cheeks were as Camillo turned his head to me and, in an instant, the joyful gaze he held for Ana descended back into the stern one he always held for me.
He was studying me. Trying to figure out what was wrong without alerting the boys to anything.
“Yeah,” I said, nodding. “Just thinking.”
“About what?” Camillo asked.
“It’s just been a long day,” I said. “Work was rough. Customers are jerks. Same old thing.”
I watched Camillo nod his head as he scanned my face one last time. Cassie’s hand was still resting on my knee and I reached underneath the table to grab it. The guilt was overwhelming, choking the very life out of me, even as my stomach rumbled with hunger. I tried to cast the questions out of my mind. I tried to tell myself to stop thinking like that. I had done what I thought was right. I stayed away from a man who told me he was dangerous and I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl I was determined to provide for. I sacrificed and scraped by, making sure Kevin and Ana could have everything they’d ever wanted.
