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The rousing knock on her door told Toni her reading on the bed had slipped into an afternoon nap. She felt to make sure her buttons were done up and finger combed her hair in the mirror before opening the door.
"Sorry, did I wake you up?" Rob looked sheepish in her doorway.
Toni yawned. "No, not at all."
"I thought you might fancy a little drive. There's somewhere really special I'd like to show you. It's only about 20 ks inland."
"Ok. That would be neat. Give me five minutes." She didn't invite him in to wait.
At the car, Toni said, "Do you want to drive?"
"No, you can."
"Are you sure?"
"Absolutely."
"If you don't stop me, I'll always drive."
"That's OK, you're a good driver."
Toni glowed at the compliment but thought he looked a bit shifty. She wondered whether he was disqualified for drink driving. "You do have a licence, don't you?"
He looked at her squarely. "Yes. I do have a licence – a clean one, believe or not – but I choose not to drive."
Toni hadn't driven much on gravel, but the car handled well, and she was soon into it as she got a feel for the camber of the road and the fun way the back wheels drifted out on the corners. She snatched a glance at Rob. "So, is it a sort of green thing, you not driving?"
He turned and stared at her, before looking out the side window. "My parents were killed in a car crash. I haven't driven since then."
"Oh my god, Rob, I'm so sorry."
"It's OK, it was five years ago now. That's plenty of time for closure, so I'm told. The turn off to the lake is over there on the right."
As soon as they stop, Toni unbuckled and reached across to touch his arm. "Rob, really I'm sorry. I'm so frigging nosey. I just can't help it."
He half smiled. "I said it's OK."
"So, can I ask you one more thing?"
"Sure."
"Was it an estate agent, in a 4x4, that killed your parents? It's just that you seem so angry about them."
Rob stared at her again, and Toni thought he might be on the verge of tears, but he started to laugh.
"I don't see what's so funny." Then it dawned on her that he may have lied about his parents. "Was it true about your parents?"
"Yes, it was. I promise. But it's taken five years for me to find anything funny about it. No, they were not killed by an estate agent," he said. He was no longer laughing.
After the echo of door slams and the crepitus of their feet on pebbles, the silence was perfect.
"This lake is sacred to local iwi." Rob's voice was close to a whisper. "Waitapu. They used to call it 'Windermere' when I was a kid. It must have reminded some moron of the Lake District. Probably because it's wet."
Toni shushed him, and they stood without words. Later, Rob would tell her he found it 'effing ineffable' but, then, he said nothing. They each picked up a pebble and threw together. The water didn’t shatter, as it seemed it might, but sucked the pebbles in. For that moment, impressed into the meniscus, two navels were formed. Then ripples spread out in rings from the penetrations until they met and merged in a mesh of interstices and interference. They watched as the ribbing of the water dissipated – micro, pico, nano, femto – until no trace of the disturbance could be imagined.
Rob's voice sounded choked. "The Japanese have a word 'aware'. It means the feeling of sadness that comes from witnessing the passing beauty in Nature."
"I like that." Toni said carefully, "Aware."
In the Fifth Season Page 18
