In the Fifth Season

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In the Fifth Season Page 33

by Jonathan M Barrett


  #

  The BigBargainz store was not heaving with an audience of impressionable customers; it was as deserted as it had been the day they’d bought the coffee plunger. Rob seemed happy enough though with Toni as his sole witness, and he turned to her, raised his eyebrows, priming her for the display he’d promised. He stood at the empty customer service booth coughing loudly until a woman from the checkout slouched over.

  "Good day. In terms of sections 5, 6, 18, 20, 21 and 22 of the Consumer Guarantees Act 1993, I hereby reject this good as unsafe, and demand my money back." Rob glanced at Toni to see exactly how impressed she was.

  The woman from the checkout was no more impressed than Toni. She said, "Do you have proof of purchase?"

  "No – but it burnt my bloody hand."

  "I'm sorry about that, sir. Do you have proof of purchase?" the woman said.

  "You know I bought it here." Rob pointed at her. "You served me."

  "I'm sorry but you need proof of purchase. Do you have proof of purchase?"

  "What more proof do I need than bringing it back to the person who sold it to me, eh?"

  "The till receipt?" the woman said.

  "No, I threw it away. I had no idea the thing was going to explode in my face like that, nearly blinding me."

  "Bank statement?"

  "How on earth could I have a bank statement? I only bought the damned thing three days ago."

  The woman pointed to a large sign at the exit. "I'm sorry, sir, it's store policy not to accept returned goods without proof of purchase. But you can exchange it for another one." And she added, "They're on special today."

  "What? Why would I want to swap it for another one? Clearly the design is faulty," he said. "And, wait a minute, how come you'll let me swap without proof of purchase, but you won't give me my money back? You know something, I could go to Fair Go with this sort of treatment."

  The woman could hardly keep a straight face. Rob must be the best thing that's happened to her for a long time. "Head office set the rules, sir."

  "OK. I want to speak to the manager," Rob said.

  "He's on stress leave."

  "Fine, the assistant manager."

  "I am the assistant manager. I'm sorry, but it's store policy. No money back without proof of purchase."

  "Oh, for fuck's sake." Rob looked as though he might throw the box to the ground in frustration, but Toni gently prised it from his fingers. The fluorescent lighting and last night's drinking have left him looking ghostly and pathetic.

  "I'm sorry to be a pain. But–" Toni glanced at the woman's name badge, "Jayne, we need to get back to Nelson today to fly home to Wellington. Is there any way you could give us our money back? As assistant manager, you can do that, can't you?"

  "We don't normally do refunds without proof of purchase, but OK. $29.99 wasn't it?" The woman took money from the till and hands it to Toni. "Have a nice trip."

  Rob stomped ahead of Toni and seemed furious. He turned to her once they're outside the store. "Jesus Christ, woman, won't you leave me anything?"

  Toni stopped still. "I'm so sorry. I thought I was helping."

  He patted her arm. "Only joking. I'll get you to take all my stuff back in future. You've got a way with remedies." He looked heavenwards. "That must be it. Remedies…restitution…compensation. Owen said he'd received compensation. But salesmen get commissions, not compensation. Let's go the library."

  "Why?" Toni felt drained, almost faint. She’d really thought Rob was mad at her and now he seemed as happy as a child off to the zoo. She didn't think she could stand this any longer; she just wanted some constancy, some stability.

  "You'll see when we get there." He smiled and took a pace.

  "No." Toni didn’t move. "Rob, don't play games with me. Tell me – right now – why do we need to go to the library?"

  He turned and touched her arm. "Are you all right?"

  She nodded.

  "OK, then. Who took out the policy on Artemis's life?"

  "Artmor Investments Ltd," she said.

  "Who owns that?"

  "Artemis and Morgan Washburn. You told me they did." There was a throb at her temple. She closed her eyes. "No wait. Only him now, I suppose."

  "Any reasonable person would. And that's what he implied. But what if he misled us? Let's go and see if he still owns it. We can check out the shareholders on the Registrar of Companies website. And the library has Internet access."

  "But you've already checked."

  "That was then, and this is now."

  Toni mouthed 'fuck you' as he turned and led the way.

  At the library, Rob typed as Toni watched over his shoulder. "Look here." He pointed to the screen. "We can search for the company name and see who the shareholders are. So – Artmor Investments is owned by Arcadia Lifestyle Ltd."

  "But you said the Washburns owned it." Toni said.

  "They did when I looked before. The important question is who owns the holding company." Rob typed quickly. "Well, who would have guessed it?" He sat back and grinned. "The sole shareholder of Arcadia Lifestyle is none other than one 'Huntly, Owen Ryan'. This means Owen effectively controls the proceeds of the policy. That was his compensation. And, in the words of a great man, this is all very fishy indeed." He looked up at her smug, triumphant.

  Toni was on the verge of hyperventilating. She sat down and held her palm across her forehead.

  "Are you sure you're all right?"

  "Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's bit stuffy in here, that's all," Toni said. "So tell me – honestly – how long have you known about the shareholders?"

  Rob looked at his watch. "Approximately ten seconds." He must realise she's not happy about something. "I promise. Although I did get suspicious last night – actually, when we were at Arcadia. Anyway, Owen mentioned something about getting compensation."

  Toni breathed deeply. "OK. Now, let's go and confront him."

  "You're serious, aren't you? God, you scare me sometimes. No way. We've done what we needed to do here. I for one do not want to end up mounted as a trophy on Owen Huntly's office wall."

  Outside the library Toni turned to Rob. "Oh, I really don't understand it. Owen seemed so, I don't know, heartbroken last night. How could I have been taken in like that?"

  "Maybe you weren't." She felt Rob's arm envelop her shoulder and pull her close. "Not long after I started at the Dependable," he said, "I got stuck next to Ralph Gisborne at a company dinner. It was before he was MD. He was sales director at the time. And, among all the crap he told me about taking up golf and buying a good dinner jacket, he said, if I wanted to get on in this business, I'd have to understand how the salesman thinks. He reckoned the salesman is like a shark. Not because he's dishonest but, you know that thing about the shark – if it ever stops moving it dies – well, if the salesman every stops to think about what he does, he wouldn't be able to carry on. Maybe it's like that with Owen and his women. Maybe he made the fatal mistake of feeling something for Artemis. And now he realises he'll sink if he doesn't keep moving."

  "I want to go home," Toni said. "Now."

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