“That’s just his face, Ralph!” I yelled loud enough for the whole diner to hear. “Kinda like your face makes everyone think you’re slightly psychotic. Xander’s a big ol’ teddy bear, just like you.”
That earned me laughs from several people, including Sally and Ralph himself. A minute later, she took off to go put our order in, and I gave Xander my full attention.
“Sorry about that,” I said with a small wince. “He really is a nice guy.” It was surreal I was defending a guy I’d known less than a month to a man who had lived in this town for seven years, but it was becoming more and more obvious that Xander kept himself closed off from almost everyone around him.
One of his big shoulders came up in a shrug. “Don’t worry about it.” Then he arched an eyebrow and asked, “Harley girl?”
It was my turn to shrug. “You know my dad and his buddies were all bikers. I grew up riding on my dad’s Harley. I found out Ralph rides and we got to talking. The name just stuck, I guess.”
That seemed to pique his curiosity. “You like to ride?”
“I don’t like it, I love it. You know how I said green mountains are in my blood?” He nodded in response. “Well, riding is in my soul. The best times of my life almost always consisted of being on the back of my dad’s bike. He taught me how to love the feel of the sun on my face and the wind in my hair. There’s no better feeling in the world.”
“You know, I have a—”
“Harley Softail Springer? Believe me, I know. If I didn’t love my baby with my whole heart, I’d have jacked your bike by now. That thing is fine.”
His eyes flickered with approval at my appreciation of his motorcycle. “If you want, maybe I can take you for a ride this weekend. The weather’s gonna turn soon, and I’ll have to put her up for the winter.”
I felt my eyes go wide in shock at his offer. “Are you for real? I’d love that, Xander.” Reaching across the table, I placed my hand on top of his and gave it a squeeze. I was filled with an indescribable excitement at the thought of riding with him. It had been years since I’d been on a bike, and that, coupled with the thought of being pressed into Xander’s back as the wind blew through my hair made me downright giddy. “Thank you so much.”
The air between us felt thick all of a sudden as our gazes locked and we entered into a staring contest. It was like he was trying to silently communicate something with those midnight eyes, but I wasn’t sure what it was. I could still see the shadows, but there was something else in there that was beating them back.
The moment was broken when our lunch arrived. A feeling of annoyance washed over me at the interruption, but I quickly tamped it down and pasted on a smile for Sally.
Shaking off the daze Xander’s look had put me in, I noticed she was staring down at our hands. I cleared my throat and pulled my hand back, tucking them both in my lap. “Thanks so much, babe.”
Her focus shifted to me and a slow, giddy smile pulled at her lips. “Oh, not a problem at all, sweetie. Not a problem at all. You guys just holler if you need anything else.”
Then she scuttled off, leaving us to enjoy our meal.
* * *
Xander
Lying on my back, staring up at the random patterns the moonlight was casting on my ceiling, my mind replayed lunch with Sage.
The logical side of my brain knew it was a mistake to offer to take Sage out on my bike. But when she’d spoken about riding with her father, how she loved the wind in her hair and the sun on her face, her eyes lit up, and her already expressive face shined with excitement. I’d never seen her look more beautiful. Not to mention, the way she’d identified the make and model of my bike just by sight was one of the hottest things I’d ever experienced.
I was walking a fine line with that offer, knowing having her wrapped around me as I took her for a ride would be an exquisite form of torture unlike anything I’d experienced in years. However, the way her face lit up, shining so brightly it was almost enough to combat the darkness I lived in, I knew in my gut I’d do anything to be the reason she smiled like that again.
Remembering how her expression had started to warm those cold, dark places inside me caused me to do something I never thought possible.
I reached beneath the sheet, sliding my hand into my boxers and wrapping my fingers around my aching cock. Then, for the first time in more than eight years, I jacked off to the visual of a woman who wasn’t my dead wife.
I was so fucked.
Chapter Twelve
Xander
My bike roared down Sage’s sleepy, tree-lined street, whipping past house after house before I slowed it to a crawl and turned into the driveway of her little cottage. While the place was nice enough for anyone to be happy living in it, there was just something about the house that didn’t match Sage’s exuberant personality.
It just wasn’t her.
Before I had a chance to kick down the stand and swing a leg over, her front door came flying open, and Sage burst through with the force of a tornado.
When Rebecca was still alive, she’d been too terrified to ever ride with me, no matter how many times I’d asked, so Sage was the first person to ever be on the back of my bike. As she skipped in my direction, I took in her getup and realized this woman was no novice. She’d dressed perfectly for the trip.
Tight dark washed jeans hugged her hips all the way down to mid-calf where they disappeared into a pair of black lace-up boots. She wore a fitted black leather jacket zipped all the way to her neck with a thin scarf poking out and a pair of shades on her face.
I wished I could see if her eyes matched the huge grin on her face, but the whole look was so goddamn hot I felt myself getting hard as she came to a stop right beside me.
“Ready,” she chirped, hopping in place.
“You lock your door?”
She looked back to her house for a second before returning her attention to me. “There’s no need. Everyone knows nothing ever happens in Mayberry.”
I knew all too well how wrong she was about that. Hope Valley was like a beacon for crazy shit. Or, at least the women here were. Jerking my chin in the direction of her door, I ordered, “Go lock up. We have time.”
She let out a huff that made her bottom lip poke out in a pout, and had I been able to see her eyes, I knew she was rolling them as she turned and ran back up the drive, gracing me with a perfect view of her sweet round ass.
She didn’t delay in locking up and shoving her keys back into her jacket as she came back to me. “There. Now can we go?” she asked, bouncing on her toes like an anxious kid waiting for the last bell at school to ring.
“Your old man make you wear a helmet?”
“I was his little princess, so what do you think?”
I felt the corners of my eyes crinkle behind my own shades as I grinned. “I think he was a smart man,” I murmured as I passed her the helmet I’d dug out of my closet just for this trip. “Put that on and we’ll hit the road.”
Without complaint, she put the helmet on her head and made quick work of adjusting the chin strap and clipping it in place. Then she braced her hands on my shoulders, put one foot up on the peg, and slung her leg over. The moment she tucked herself close to my back and wrapped her little arms tight around my waist everything in my body strung tight. The breeze filled my nose with the scent of lilies, and her soft voice spoke only inches from my ear. “All set. Let’s ride.”
The shiver that worked its way through me had nothing to do with the wind and everything to do with Sage. I was walking a dangerous line, but I couldn’t bring myself to stop.
I wanted every moment I could get with this woman.
* * *
Sage
My cheeks had gone cold by the time Xander brought the bike to a stop a couple yards away from the edge of the cliff that overlooked the valley, but I didn’t give a damn. I’d been riding with this incredible man for the past two hours, seeing sights I hadn’t known existed. He didn’t just take me through t
own but also drove up into the mountains. And I’d been having the time of my life.
“Wow,” I breathed as I climbed off the bike and took off the helmet. “Check out that view.” I moved closer to get a better look. “It’s amazing.”
“This is one of my favorite spots,” Xander said, coming up beside me and looking out on our picturesque little town. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, drawing my gaze to the worn-out rider jacket he was wearing to absolute perfection. He had a plain white V-neck tee under the distressed black leather that made him look cool as hell and sinful all at the same time. The way his hair was brushed back from his face, the wind having made it look sexy and wild, made my fingers twitch with desire to run through the dark, over-long strands.
Being this close to him now, it was impossible not to notice how he checked off every single box I had when it came to men I found attractive.
“How’d you find this place? It’s gorgeous.”
“I like to hike when I find the time, and this place is only a couple miles from my cabin.”
My jaw dropped at that. “No way! You live in a cabin up here in the mountains close to all this?” I waved my hand at the view of the valley. “I have to see this place.”
The corner of his mouth hooked up, showing the flash of his white teeth from beneath his beard. “It’s really not anything special.”
I honestly didn’t care if it was or not. All of a sudden I was incredibly eager to see where Xander lived. We might be friends, but I still knew very little about him. Something about seeing this man, who kept himself closed off from everyone, in his natural environment tugged at my curiosity in a way I couldn’t ignore.
“I’ll be the judge of that myself, big guy.” Grabbing hold of his jacket sleeve, I pulled him after me as I started back toward the bike. “Fair’s fair, man. You’ve seen my pad, now I get to see yours.”
To my surprise, he didn’t argue once.
* * *
Xander
Coming to a stop on the gravel drive beside my place, I was hit with a sudden pang of anxiety at what Sage would think.
I bought the place because it was close enough to work but still secluded enough to give me privacy. Like I’d told her, it wasn’t anything special, and I found myself curious about what her reaction would be.
I hadn’t given a shit what any of the women I’d hooked up with ever thought of it, but for some reason, Sage’s opinion mattered to me. And being her, she didn’t make me wait. The second I cut off the bike her arms gave me a tight squeeze, and she let out a high-pitched squeak loud enough to make me wince.
“Oh my god, this place is so cool!” I got the kickstand down, and she didn’t waste any time hopping off.
The instant I dismounted, she grabbed my hand and dragged me toward the house and up the porch steps.
Digging in the pocket of my jeans, I pulled out my keys and unlocked the front door. I stayed a few steps behind, my eyes glued to Sage as she took everything in.
“Oh wow,” she said on a soft breath. “This place is incredible.”
“It’s just a cabin,” I said, a grin pulling at my lips as I braced a shoulder against the door frame and watched her turn in a circle.
She looked at me over her shoulder and hit me with that grin that made my insides grow hot. “No way this is just a cabin. This looks like something out of a Christmas movie. It’s totally rustic in the coolest way.” I stayed rooted in place as she disappeared deeper into the house. I heard the familiar clack of claws on the floor just moments before Sage’s excited voice rang out. “Oh! And you have a puppy!”
I began moving then, closing the door behind me as I bypassed the living room and started down the hall that led to the kitchen at the back of the house. To my surprise, Sage was on her knees, giving the huge mutt a full body rub. “He’s so cute,” she squealed, looking up at me with wide, shining eyes. That certainly wasn’t how I’d describe the massive beast she was currently loving on. The dog came and went of his own accord, but the few times he’d wandered into the house when I had female company, he usually scared the shit out of them. Then again, I was coming to realize that Sage never reacted the way I’d expect. This woman had a gift for finding the good in everything. It was incredible, and the more time I spent with her, the more her warmth and light melted that barrier. “What’s his name?”
“Bear.”
She studied the dog closely, taking in his long, black coat. The vet had told me he was probably part bullmastiff and part Bernese mountain dog with a hodgepodge of other things mixed in, making him a huge, intimidating ball of fur.
“Bear,” she repeated quietly, rubbing him behind his floppy ears. “That’s a perfect name for you, isn’t it boy?” In answer, the dog collapsed to the ground, rolling onto his back, begging none-too-subtly for a belly rub. She didn’t make him wait. “How long have you had him?”
“He’s not mine,” I answered. “Well, not technically. He just showed up on my back porch one day. He looked like he hadn’t eaten in a while, so I gave him some food and water, and he just kept showing up after that.”
“Really?” Her eyes were trained on me, but her arms were wrapped around the dog’s neck.
“He’s got a wanderer’s spirit. I’d put down food and water, he’d eat and drink his fill, then disappear again. When it became obvious he was gonna keep coming back, I installed a doggie door so he could just come and go as he pleases. Some mornings I’ll wake up and he’ll be sleeping on the couch, and sometimes I won’t see him for a few days. From what I’ve been able to gather, he doesn’t belong to anyone, and I think he kinda likes it that way.”
Her features twisted with worry as she looked back at the dog. “But what if he gets hurt? Or sick?”
The concern she had for an animal she’d been around for less than a handful of minutes tugged at something inside of me I’d been trying my hardest to pretend didn’t exist. “He never stays away longer than a week, and the vet says he’s in good health, especially for a wanderin’ dog like him.”
“You—” She stopped to pull her bottom lip between her teeth and bit down, her face pinching like she was trying to suppress her laughter. “You’ve taken him to the vet?”
My eyebrows lifted at the quiver of laughter in her voice. “Yeah, so? He needs regular checkups.”
She glanced over to the food and water dish I had sitting close to the doggy door. “You take him to the vet regularly. He’s got a place for his own food and water right there. And . . . is that a dog toy in the corner?”
I glanced over to the squeaky rubber T-bone before returning my gaze to Sage. “What’s your point?”
“Nothing,” she said with a sweet giggle as she stood to her full height. “You’re just full of surprises, is all.”
“Yeah?” I asked, my voice coming out in an almost-whisper. My feet moved like they had a mind of their own, closing the distance between us and bringing me close enough to see the small flecks of gold in her brown eyes. “How so?”
Her chest rose on a big inhale. The pulse point in her neck began to quiver as if us being so close was having the same effect on her as it was on me.
“You aren’t at all what I thought you were, Xander Caine. Under all that gruff, there’s a really sweet, caring guy. You’re a good man.”
My face fell into a frown as I took a step back. It was like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on me, snuffing out the warmth Sage had made me feel. Her comment was a punch to the gut, forcing me back to reality.
“That just goes to show how little you know me, Shortcake,” I said in a rough, raspy voice. “I’m not a good man.”
Her head cocked to the side as she examined my features closely. “You know, it’s amazing how little self-awareness we can have sometimes. Most of the time, the way we see ourselves is so much worse than what everyone else sees. I’ve discovered it’s the way we’re seen by others that’s usually right. So you can stand there and tell me I don’t know you and you aren’t
a good man. But I already know the truth. It’s you who’s wrong.”
I was still reeling from that profound speech when we climbed back on my bike and I took her home for the evening.
I missed her warmth like it had been ripped from deep inside me when she climbed off and handed me my helmet. “This has been a great day,” she said, smiling sincerely. “One of the best I’ve had in a really long time. Thank you for that.”
“Don’t mention it,” I returned gruffly, unable to shake the feeling of loss at not having her wrapped around me any longer.
“I’ll see you at work tomorrow,” she continued, stuffing her hands in her back pockets as she walked backward toward her house. “Give Bear a big hug for me, will you?”
“That’s not gonna happen,” I called back, chuckling.
Her return laugh was louder and brighter. “All right. Then have a good night, at least.”
“You do the same, Shortcake.”
With that, she spun around and pulled out her keys, unlocking and opening the door with one last wave in my direction before disappearing inside.
What I didn’t tell her was that this was one of the best days I’d had in a really long time as well. And that it was all because of her.
Which made the fact that I was going to have to end this game we were playing hurt even worse.
Because she might have convinced herself I was a good man, but the longer I let her stick around, the greater the risk that my darkness would infect her completely.
And I just couldn’t let that happen.
Chapter Thirteen
Sage
I felt like I was walking on air as I hit work the next morning.
Out of the Darkness: a Hope Valley novel Page 10
