by G. R. Lyons
“Alright,” the doctor said. “I think that's enough for today.”
Saira nodded absently, and it was a long moment before any of them found their feet and managed to leave the office.
Benash looked up at the clock and reached toward Saira, his hand hovering just near her shoulder. “Why don't you two go on home early?”
Charlie nodded as Chief walked away, heading for his office, and looked at Saira. Her expression was blank, and she looked drawn and empty.
“Come on, honey,” he murmured.
She shook her head. “I'd like to be alone,” she whispered.
Charlie opened his mouth to protest, not wanting to let her out of his sight, but instead asked, “Are you sure?”
Saira nodded. “Just for tonight. I just…I need…”
“It's alright.” He held out his arm and she gave him a tight hug. “Get some rest.”
Saira nodded again and slowly climbed the stairs, Charlie watching her the whole time until she entered her room and pushed the door shut behind her.
* * *
SAIRA PUT her back to the door, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. She looked around, seeing everything perfectly in place, just as she'd left it, except for her suitcase, which someone had set just inside the door. Without looking, Saira pressed the lock on the door, walked right past the suitcase, and sank onto the couch.
She stared across the room at the neatly made bed, thinking she should get changed and just go straight to sleep, but couldn't seem to make herself move.
“Saira?”
Vorena appeared out of nowhere, sitting in her favorite recliner at the end of the coffee table.
“Not now, please,” Saira muttered, rubbing her eyes.
“Alright,” Vorena murmured, and disappeared.
Saira stared at the empty chair, certain that the ghost was still there but just staying out of sight. She leaned back on the couch, closed her eyes, and tried to dredge up any motivation to take a shower and get ready for bed before more tears came.
The next thing she knew, she was slumped over on her side, with morning sunslight peeking through the windows.
Stiff and sore from such a long, dreamless sleep, it took her a few minutes to realize where she was.
Saira jumped up, rushed through a shower with her eyes mostly closed the whole time, got her suitcase unpacked and everything cleaned and put away, then grabbed a bagel from the kitchen and hurried out the door.
Chapter 25
BENASH WOKE before his alarm, and found Vorena sitting up beside him.
“Morning,” she said with a smile.
He groaned and rubbed his eyes. “Gods, I meant to wait up until you got back. Is everything alright?”
Vorena nodded. “I checked on her, but she didn't want me there. I stayed around, unseen, until she managed to sleep several hours without a nightmare. You were snoring by the time I got back here.”
“I wish you'd woken me,” he grumbled.
“Hey,” she whispered, running a hand through his hair. “You had a hard day. I figured it was better to let you sleep, too.”
Benash looked up at her and sighed. “Thank you.”
“It'll be alright, Hawk. She'll be fine, in time. And we'll have all this behind us.”
Benash nodded and pulled her down beside him, holding her close until the alarm cut through the morning silence. Vorena joined him when he drove to work, but stayed mostly silent the whole way, holding his hand and sending him encouraging thoughts.
“Morning, Chief,” the receptionist greeted him as he walked in the door.
“Morning, Lani,” he replied, heading straight through the office and up the stairs. He stopped at the door to Saira's room, hesitating a moment before he knocked.
He waited, but there was no answer. He knocked again, then opened the door, and found the room empty.
“Has anyone seen Saira?” he called from the balcony.
“She checked out a car this morning, Chief,” Lani called back. “Said she wanted to go for a drive, think things over.”
Benash ran down the stairs. “Any idea where she went?”
Lani turned to her computer and brought up the database for the company's vehicles. She selected the one Saira had taken and called up the GPS transmitter data.
“She's heading out of the city, looks like,” Lani said, pointing at the screen.
“She's going to the Gateway,” Vorena added, looking over Benash's shoulder.
“Thank you, Lani,” Benash said, clapping her on the shoulder as he went straight back outside and got back in his car. Vorena silently joined him as they left the city and headed for the hills.
* * *
SAIRA WANDERED through the trees, savoring the fresh air. The Gateway property was silent, other than the sound of the wind rustling through the leaves or the occasional chirp of a bird. She was so far out of town, so far from any neighbors, that she heard neither voice nor car.
Exactly what she needed.
Behind the house, Saira found her mother's grave, with a simple stone marker that bore Val Meglin's name. Saira had never seen her mother's ghost, but she was sure it was out there, somewhere.
She glanced up, and saw a pair of ghosts strolling casually through the trees, hand in hand, amongst the other graves that dotted the back of the property. The two burly men were so entirely focused on one another that they didn't notice her there, watching.
It took her a moment to recognize them, and when she did, she felt a pang of grief. The couple had been in their early seventies the last time she'd seen them, and had apparently taken on a more youthful appearance in the afterlife.
She hadn't even known they'd died.
It was still hard to believe her father had once been a government officer, and even stranger to think that her father had once put those very men in prison, only for them all to wind up as close friends.
Saira watched the ghosts disappear, and crept forward to read the stones that marked where their bodies lay.
Lifelong partners, and they'd died within days of one another, just last year.
Four years, she thought. Gods, how much else have I missed while I couldn't even remember my own name?
Saira left the graves and wandered back to the Gate. She sat on the grass and drew up her knees, closing her eyes and letting the warm sun drive away grief.
Half an hour passed as she sat before the Gate, toying with the idea of walking through it but knowing her father would have her hide if he ever found out.
The sound of a car climbing the drive interrupted her thoughts, and Saira simply waited, listening as the car came to a stop and then footsteps approached.
“Somehow I knew you'd follow me out here,” she said as her father sat down beside her.
“I was worried about you,” he said. “I'm your father. That's my job.” He paused, and Saira saw him shake his head as he laughed. “There's something I never would have said back on Tanas.”
He fell silent, and Saira glanced over at him. “You rarely talk about Tanas.”
“It was not a happy part of my life,” he said, then added, “except the end, of course. If it hadn't been for Vorena–”
He cut off and stared at the Gate, his mouth drawn into a grim line.
“I was here once before,” Saira murmured after a while. “I was just a child, right after my mother died, I think. I remember standing there–” She nodded toward the Gate. “You were holding my hand. I don't remember why we came out here, or why we stood there so long, but I don't recall you saying a single word the whole time.”
Her father was silent, looking deep in thought, until he turned to her and said, “Saira, your mother and I–”
“Dad, you don't have to explain anything.”
“Yes, I do,” he said. He glanced at the Gate, then sighed and faced her. “I didn't love your mother. I knew how much it meant to you to marry for love, so I let you believe that ours was a real marriage. Honestly, it was nothing more t
han an arrangement of convenience.” He paused, drawing up one knee. “Your mother was terrified of men. She'd been abused by her father, as well as several lovers. When I met her, she was poor, struggling, getting more ill by the day. I was still fairly new to the way of life here, and hadn't the slightest idea how to take care of myself. It took me a while to realize just how much I'd taken my wives for granted on Tanas.
“It was your mother's suggestion, actually, that we combine households. Despite her fear of men, we got on well. We could speak easily, and she knew I had no intention of becoming romantically involved with anyone. I worked, and she kept house. A convenient arrangement, two people sharing responsibilities and expenses. That's all.” He paused again, looking at her. “Your mother knew about Vorena from the very beginning, and never begrudged me for it. In fact, she encouraged it. She would always ask, 'What would Vorena do in this situation, what would she say?' I was grateful to her for that. It helped keep my love alive, helped keep me going. Of course, this was all before Vorena managed to start showing herself, so I had no idea I was actually going to see her again…”
Saira watched her father as he trailed off and shook his head, smiling slightly, before he continued: “But then, one night, after a very bad day at work, we both had a little too much to drink…and that was the one and only night we ever shared a bed.
“We hardly spoke for days after that. Could barely look at one another. Then she came home one night, in tears, and told me she was pregnant.” He paused, shaking his head. “Poor Val. She thought I was going to be angry. I was thrilled. I couldn't love my children on Tanas, and I lost them all. I came here, thinking I'd never get to learn to love a child of my own, but now I had that chance. And Val thought she'd never get to have a child since she couldn't bear the thought of sex.”
Saira looked up at her father as he took both her hands in his own and said, “Your mother and I did not love each other. The important thing is that we both loved you, our little girl. We both wanted you more than anything in the world. She even insisted we name you Saira, because she knew what it meant to me.”
“Goodness, Hawk, you don't have to do everything I said that day,” Vorena teased, appearing out of nowhere and flopping down beside them. She raised a hand and waved toward the trees. “Hey, there, boys.”
Saira looked over and saw the same ghost couple from earlier. They waved back and vanished again.
Benash looked over at Vorena with one eyebrow raised. “I take it you didn't stay in the car, like I asked.”
“Pfff, seven hells, no,” the ghost said with a laugh. “You think I could pass up an opportunity to hear you talk about how much you love me?”
“Vorena.”
“Dad, it's fine,” Saira said, laughing, and saw Vorena flash him a cheeky grin. “I'm glad you love her so much.”
Her father looked taken aback. “You are?”
“Of course,” Saira said, taking his hand. “I may wish that my mother could have lived, and that you could have loved her, but it's more important to me that you knew love at all. I like seeing you two together.”
“See?” Vorena asked with a grin, drawing herself up. “She likes me.”
“Besides,” Saira added, “I barely remember my mother. I was so young when she died. In some ways, Vorena has been more of a mother to me, anyway.” She paused, looking over at the Gate, then at the ghost. “This was the first place I saw you, actually. That day we came here, right after mother died.”
Benash started. “You were here that day?”
Vorena rolled her eyes. “Hawk, when are you going to get it through your head that I'm always around? And yes, I was here that day. Trying to make myself visible to you, but you never saw me. Saira sure did, though. That was a good bit of fun.” She paused and slapped Benash on the arm. “Come on, you don't remember Saira's whole 'imaginary friend' phase when she was a child?”
Benash blinked. “That was you?”
“Of course it was me,” Vorena said with a laugh.
Saira looked at her father, seeing the dumbfounded expression on his face, and burst out laughing.
“I'm glad I'm such an amusement to you both,” he grumbled, shaking his head, then chuckled softly.
Vorena leaned back on her elbows in the grass and wore a self-satisfied smirk. “There. Mission accomplished. Tension averted. Everyone's laughing.”
Benash quickly sobered, and Saira's laugh also cut off as she watched him.
“Well, it was worth a shot,” Vorena grumbled.
They fell silent, each looking in a different direction, until Benash said, “Saira–”
“I know what I have to do,” she interrupted him.
Her father looked over at her, frowning. “I'm sorry?”
“Thayeron,” she said, then took a deep breath and continued slowly: “I have an idea of how to catch him. I came out here to think it over. There's really only one option.”
Benash groaned. “Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like this?”
Chapter 26
“NO, SAIRA,” her father ordered, pacing the conference room while Saira and the others followed him with their eyes. “Seven hells, no. Absolutely not.”
“Dad–”
“Fuck no.”
Vorena's eyes went wide. “Whoa, I don't think I've ever heard your dad curse before.”
“You, stay out of this,” Benash growled, pointing a finger at her.
The officers looked at what was, to them, the empty space where Vorena stood, then looked at each other, sharing startled expressions as their glances slid back over to the chief.
Forgoing an explanation to them, Saira turned to her husband. “Charlie–”
“Sorry, honey,” Charlie murmured, tearing his eyes away from the haunted corner and shaking his head. “I'm with your dad on this one. You do this, and you'll either wind up dead or tortured again, and we've already had enough of that.”
“I can't just stay in hiding the rest of my life!” she said, throwing her hands up. “I want this over and done with. I want him locked up or dead. I want it finished.”
The room fell silent, and Saira leaned on the end of the table, watching her father as he sat at the other end, rubbing his temples.
“Give me one good reason,” he mumbled, “why you think this is going to work.”
Saira straightened up. “I'll give you several. He's a perfectionist. He's never left a single shred of evidence, DNA or otherwise, that can be used to identify him. He's tied up all his loose ends. The last killing in Oaks Pass, he even went back, while Charlie was still in the house, and finished the woman so she wouldn't survive to identify him. Hells, he even came back for me while I was in the hospital, from what Charlie said. We don't have a single thing that can tie him to any of the murders, except my word. No one saw him at any of the crime scenes, except the last one, and it was too dark to get a positive ID. No one suspects him but us, and we can't prove it without being able to identify him. I'm the only person who can do that. I am his only loose end.”
“Saira–”
“I am the only thing that can draw him out, Dad,” she insisted. “If we make it known that I'm alive, and that I can identify him, he'll have to do something about it. He's out and about, on the streets, right now, because he thinks he's perfectly safe. If I out myself, he'll either have to go into hiding or start planning something against me, to silence me. It's the only chance we've got.”
Her father lowered his hands and stared at her down the length of the table. The officers all around them were silent, looking from one to the other as they waited.
Benash sighed. “Very well. Call a press conference.”
* * *
SAIRA WOKE in the middle of the night, her breath catching in her throat as she felt the weight of a body halfway on top of hers.
“Saira?”
She let her breath out in a gasp of relief, hearing Charlie's voice. Then her mind registered the feel of a soft pillow beneath her head ins
tead of a hard, metal table, and she closed her eyes and waited while her heartbeat slowed back down.
Charlie tightened his hold on her, one leg draped over hers and his head resting on her shoulder. Saira hugged him back, taking a few deep breaths before she felt steady enough to speak.
“You're not really going to do this, are you?” Charlie asked in a whisper.
Saira ran a hand through his hair, resting her cheek against his forehead. “I have to.”
“Saira,” he complained, propping himself up on his elbow and looking down at her in the moonlight.
“Honey, I need this,” she said. “I have to do this.”
Charlie sighed and rested his forehead down against hers. “I don't want to lose you again.”
“Charlie.” She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath, then looked up at him again. “I need this. I can't spend the rest of my life, waking up beside you, and having that little moment of panic, thinking I'm back in that basement.”
Charlie reared back, his startled look apparent even in the dim light.
“I don't want you afraid of me,” he whispered.
“That's why I have to do this. I need it finished.”
Charlie held her gaze and went very still, his face thoughtful in silence for a long while.
“I've never demanded anything of you,” he said, “but I'm going to now.” He waited, and when Saira didn't respond, he went on: “Until this is over, you are to have me or Dad with you at all times.”
“Charlie–”
“All times, Saira. I mean it. I don't want you out of our sight until that man is dead.”
Saira considered for a moment, seeing the stern determination on his face, and nodded. “Alright. I promise.”
“Thank you,” he whispered, bending down to kiss her before he stretched back out at her side and rested a hand on her belly.
Saira smiled to herself in the dark, amused by the protective gesture when he didn't even know how doubly applicable it was. She opened her mouth to tell him, then thought better of it, knowing it would only make him worry more.
